white, surge red
by Sugahlei
Summary: Sasuke does a bad thing. Everything changes, Naruto doesn’t care…but then, he’s got a different reason to live, now. SasuNaru
1. one

**::Warning/Disclaimer::  
**The characters aren't mine. The story and plot is. There will be lots of sex, swearing, and abuse, and it's **Rated R**, people, _for a reason_. read accordingly.  
Anyway, Sasuke's not a happy camper, and Naruto's just not…normal anyway. So I've thrown them together, dashed in some angst, and written this one up. They're about seventeen in this, with all current attacks and problems, except that Sasuke doesn't run off (doesn't try, ok? he's still around and angsting.)  
So! On the grounds of yaoi and slashiness, I give you this dark angsty unhappy love story.

**::white, surge red::  
****::one::  
**

Naruto wakes before the splash of dawn with a strange frission knocking along his spine. He blinks at his rumpled sheets and yawns. The fifteen-year-old shinobi stretches twice before he realizes what the feeling was, what the warmth was.

"…aw, shit," he curses, groggy, pressing his face into the mattress and growling. "Not again…"

There is a surge of heat pooling around his insides in response. Naruto curls on his side, arms around his middle and squeezing his eyes shut. He pushes it down, pushes it back where it wouldn't bother him. It was still early; he had time. A day, at least, to attend the daily training his team still held.

His vision blurs as the heat splays briefly along his body.

No. He had things to do. People to see. Training. Sparring. Taunting. This could not—_would not_—happen today. Not today.

As the sensation fades to a dull ache around his middle, Naruto opens his eyes, unclenches his teeth and looks into the pre-dawn darkness. He could just make out the calendar marked with training times, missions and birthdays, and a singular day marked with a red x. He frowns. _It's early again... _

_Why me_

-::-

"You're late, Naruto."

Blearily, Naruto blinks at the sight of his teacher, Sasuke and Sakura waiting on the bridge and blinks again. "…Maybe you're just early?" he offers, too exhausted to put up a more cheery façade.

Kakashi's exposed eyebrow rises briefly. "…Maybe I am!" he replies brightly.

Sasuke lets out a soft 'hn' of annoyance, dark eyes like embers glaring briefly at the blond as Kakashi waves it aside. "Alright, line up for the moment! What do you want to work on today?"

For a moment there is nothing but silence.

"We could work on our stealth," the girl offers when it becomes apparent that Naruto isn't going to offer any suggestions. Sasuke isn't so quick to remove his gaze and despite the intensity, Naruto's eyes are fixed firmly on the ground. Naruto's face is flushed and his eyes fever-bright, his hair and clothing messy and rumpled.

Kakashi frowns briefly behind his mask. "Naruto…Are you alright?"

Blinking, Naruto lets his eyes rise to Kakashi and nods, speaking hoarsely. "I'm fine."

"You don't _look_ fine. You look sick."

Naruto crosses his arms and lowers his head defensively. "It's nothing, okay? It's just…" his eyes flicker away. "It's just a fever. That's it. It'll go away before noon."

_Liar,_ Sasuke thinks sourly, eyes flickering back and forth.

Kakashi moves forward with outstretched fingers. "A fever, huh? Are you sure you shouldn't—"

Naruto jerks his face away from Kakashi's hand and ducks, eyes wild and dark. "Don't touch me, please don't—"

_Good god. _Irritated, Sasuke pulls one hand out of a pocket and cuffs the blond. "_Dobe_. What's your proble—"

Naruto twists down and hooks his arm up, grabbing at the fingers and pulling Sasuke into a hold he hadn't known the blond could execute. His knees hit the rough stones of the bridge, and Sasuke is almost surprised enough to gasp, bending to keep his arm from dislocating—

_—what the hell is this?—_

—then in the next moment, Sasuke angrily sweeps a foot around and kicks the back of the knee, reversing the hold as Naruto's defensive action vanishes—Naruto is falling to the ground, pulled by Sasuke's instinctive reaction and ends up on his back with Sasuke at his throat.

Naruto's eyes clear from the glazed and fevered brightness to sudden horror. "Get off me," the blond whispers. He makes no move to free himself, to rise or throw off Sasuke's hold—instead, he turns his face to the side and breathes in shallow little gasps.

"What the hell is your problem?" Sasuke hisses, squeezing his fingers around thin wrists. Unidentifiable anger darkens his vision; he wants to hurt something, break something, anything to make that horrid hateful feeling go away.

"Get _away_ from me!" Naruto bares his teeth without facing the dark-haired boy.

"Come _on_, guys, it's too early to fight. Sasuke, let him up." Kakashi sounds bored even to Sasuke's ears.

"Tch," Sasuke spits to the side and rises with all the hurtful intention coiling through his muscles. Jaw clenched, he turns away and crosses his arms. _Worthless._

Kakashi motions for Naruto to follow him a short distance away, then crouches before the blond. "What's wrong?"

Naruto tries very hard to stop his body from shaking, swallows down the nausea and dizziness welling up his spine. "I'm fine," he repeats softly. "Really—"

"You're _sick_, Naruto." Kakashi replies. "You said it yourself, a fever. I want you to go home and rest. Even shinobi can't train during an illness."

"But—" Naruto's glance is so full of despair and odd relief that Kakashi almost looks twice to be sure he's really seeing it. He's very conscious of the fact that Sasuke is sinking into a cold silence, and that Naruto looks flushed and pale around the edges and nods his head before Naruto can finish.

"Go home, ok? I'll check up on you in a little bit."

Naruto turns with his customary shrug and shoves his hands in his pockets as he leaves. Kakashi watches him go, and after he's out of sight, ambles up to the remaining two.

"Well…how about some stealth training?"

-::-

Naruto stumbles twice on the way to his house. He can't quite raise his head enough to focus on his footing; everything's heavy and warm and he is distinctly aware of the warmth pulsing just behind his ears. Breathing is a rush of sound. Footsteps are awkwardly place, and it's altogether strange that Naruto can't seem to focus on the sounds around him.

He can't seem to focus on _anything_, and feels a sick panicky fear that he's too late, it's all too late and now it's all—

—warm—

—and he leans against a pole in the shade of a building and tries to catch his breath, tries to catch his balance and nearly fails when a breeze tugs at his clothing.

_I'm so hot…I can't breathe…_

Naruto has a last second glimpse of the world sliding sideways and falls, so flushed with heat that his body feels numb, he's floating, down and up and apart, even to the last moment where the sky goes white and he swears he's melting.

He curses, softly, before his eyes close, and hopes to whatever god would listen that he doesn't hurt someone.

-::-

An hour passes before Kakashi stops the lesson and disappears in a cloud of smoke while his students tumble to the ground and inhale the needed air. It's strange to have only himself and Sakura out here, alone while working their butts off to learn something new. Sasuke doesn't give the thought much time, and stands to stretch out the soreness in his muscles.

Minutes pass, as Sakura wanders uphill to look around. It's silent, calm and almost peaceful, if Sasuke were to allow himself to be calm and peaceful.

But he isn't, so he moves into the shade of a tree and begins to practice a technique. Within the first few moments, Kakashi poofs back into the area and right next to Sakura, who squeaks in fright. Curious, Sasuke wanders closer in time to hear Sakura's muttered curse.

Kakashi laughs, and replies, but Sasuke can't hear the quiet murmur.

"What do you mean, he's just _sitting _there?"

At Sakura's puzzled words, Sasuke glances to Kakashi.

The man merely shrugs. "Well, he's not really _doing _anything…He must be really ill. I'm off to find the Hokage—you two…just keep busy, okay?"

"But—"

Kakashi vanishes before Sakura can finish; the girl stomps her foot.

_Might as well find out what's going on._ Sasuke pivots neatly on his heel and heads towards the village.

-::-

Kakashi stops on his way to the Hokage to check in with Naruto, hoping he made it to his apartment—and feels his stomach sink when he finds the boy perched high above the streets on a telephone pole. He lands upon a nearby cable and notes the feverish glaze, the fitful movements and the restless gaze that sweeps around the streets.

_What is he waiting for, hmm?_ The jounin carefully balances himself, preparing for the worst. "Naruto?"

Blue eyes snapped towards him, piercing and…

Empty. No recognition. Kakashi shivers at the sensation of being dissected visually. _How strange_, he thinks and can't bring himself to speak. After a moment, Naruto looks away. _Time to get the Hokage._

-::-

The tension of the market is the first clue that something was _wrong _when Sasuke wanders through. People move too slowly, cautiously, staying close to the buildings and cluster into groups. There is no laughter, no children running recklessly, no chatter between friends so Sasuke glances around.

_He's close. I can feel him. _Following the gaze of a child, Sasuke quickly looks up and catches the crouched orange-clad back.

_Ah_, a_nd there he is._

-::-

"He's acting strange?" Tsunade muses, sleepy, and raises her head.

"Feverish, doesn't react to his name," Kakashi reports. "He wasn't…willing to train today."

"Hmm. What day is it, Kakashi? It's not Saturday?"

"No…"

"Strange." Tsunade rubs her nose. "Humm. Oh well, I'm sure he'll be alright…go and get him settled down in his apartment, would you? And be careful, you'll probably have to sneak up on him."

"…alright." Shrugging, Kakashi slips towards the door. "That's easy enough."

"And don't chase him!" Tsunade yells after him, and frowns, unsure if Kakashi had heard enough to mind her words.

-::-

Sasuke stands still and watches the unmoving blond for minutes, waiting, trying to understand _why_ the boy would perch out in the middle of the market in such a manner. Time passes and people gather and disperse around them.

"I said _do something_!" someone hisses behind him. Annoyed, Sasuke turns his head in the chance they had been speaking to him—

—but the old woman merely shakes her broom and points viciously; she doesn't seem to notice Sasuke's scowl. "Get that thing off! Get it away from my home! This _instant_!"

"But—" the middle-aged man—her son, Sasuke assumes—wrings his hands and doesn't finish his sentence.

"I don't want that thing near my house, do you hear?" the old hag shrieks and waves her broom. "I won't have it! Get that foul beast away!"

_Beast?_Sasuke raises a brow and steps away from the noise. He glances back to where Naruto is perched, and realizes the blond had swiveled his head towards the screeching woman, and by chance, towards Sasuke.

He shivers uncontrollably. There is no expression on Naruto's face, none that Sasuke could find when the brilliant eyes met his. _What is…this?_ crosses his mind as he moves into the open area without breaking the gaze. _Why is he staring?_

Naruto leans forward, crouching into a ball of intensity. Sasuke glares; this close he could see the utter lack of Naruto's personality and feels the familiar irritation grow. He could see tiny rips and tears on the orange jumpsuit, smudge of dirt on one whiskered cheek.

The crowd mutters uneasily around him, and Sasuke knew that they wouldn't hesitate to forcibly remove Naruto from his spot. He props a hand on his hips and sighs. "Dobe?"

Naruto topples forward, rolling like a cat to land on his feet.

The rest of his words forgotten, Sasuke narrows his eyes as Naruto rises to his feet, unwavering blue gaze on Sasuke, like he was the only spot of color left in the world. Naruto stands still for the moment Sasuke takes to stare back, refusing to back down. The blond doesn't blink, doesn't twitch or smile or mock him, just stands there—

_What is he trying to do?_

Bristling, Naruto bares his teeth and steps to the left, one step at a time, until Sasuke realizes the blond has nearly circled behind him.

_What the hell is this? _Twisting, Sasuke shifts his stance and steps away from Naruto's presence, until they both move into a tight little circle. It raises the hairs on Sasuke's neck; it's too close to a fight for his instincts to ignore.

_What's going on? What are you trying to pull? _Sasuke thinks fleetingly, glaring, because people were watching them with hateful glares of their own and all of it seems just…off-center. Wrong.

It takes only seconds for Naruto slow and deepen his stance and strange expression in his eyes. Sasuke notices the tips of his teeth glint white and the pulse in his throat seems to flutter.

Sasuke can't understand. Naruto isn't supposed to stare at him calmly, to wait there without a reaction, without a boast—he wasn't supposed to look so—

so—

_-feral_-

—not when Sasuke was waiting for Naruto to back down, because Naruto always backed off in laughter, in mocking taunts or angry silence—

—not this heated calculation he could see shimmering in the blueness—

Naruto shows his teeth slowly, almost smiling—he could _see_ the amusement—and Sasuke realizes his own teeth were bared in apparent threat.

Sasuke doesn't know if he did the action first, or mimicked Naruto—in the end, it doesn't matter. His own hostile reaction drags out all the anger and frustration and _hate_. Sasuke unconsciously deepens his own stance and flexed his hands. Something was waiting. _He_ was waiting and Naruto stood there silently aggressive while working Sasuke's anger deeper into his paper-cut presence.

People see the tense little circle, and most scuttle nervously out of harms way—

—No, Sasuke notices, not away. Into _position._ A man stood yards away and steadily moving closer, a heavy wooden pole in his hands.

Shocked, Sasuke breaks eye contact first; the minute Naruto leaves his vision the tension of what is about to happen snaps whipcord against him. His heart gives a leap, the man swinging—

—but Naruto is gone—

The middle-aged man twists, slipping when the expected resistance wasn't there and falls into an undignified heap. Sasuke, unable to see the distinctive orange jacket, frantically searches for the whirl of chakra and disappears after him.

-::-

Even moving at his fastest speed, Kakashi arrives to a scene of disruption. A man stands clutching his lower back while an ancient hag screeches out she had been attacked and _killed_ by god—

Kakashi sighs and collars the nearest person. "Alright, what happened? Where'd the Uzumaki brat go?"

The young man blinks at him, straining on his toes. "Uh, he was right there, uh," the man smiles nervously. "The Uchiha kid came and they were close to fighting, I think, but, mm, they just took off, like bam! Nothing!"

"Thanks," Kakashi murmurs, dropping the deathgrip on the collar, heedless of the man staggering back. _Guess Sasuke found him first. _Kakashi shifts from foot to foot, then looks up to a heat-baked sky of steely blue.

_Odd…there were no reports of a storm today…_

_-::-_

Naruto runs and Sasuke follows as quickly as he can. The blond is faster than anything Sasuke had ever seen, ever known—but even so, he isn't surprised.

No, Sasuke is _angry_ and he doesn't even know why. He's _furious _so he follows Naruto as he vaults into freefall and ricochets off the higher buildings and lands easily, only to spring forth again.

Sasuke can barely keep up, muscles aching, body and mind fatiguing at the strain of pulling forth chakra. _Doesn't even look tired_, he notices, leaping ahead to cut him off, doubling back when Naruto switches directions. They are on the outskirts of the city now, and Naruto looks…

Thrilled. Dangerously, darkly, insanely thrilled. Sasuke feels grit under his fingers for the moment he brushes the ground, feels the force of his push shudder off behind him—

—pushing off towards the goddamn smirking face and he lands where Naruto had been, eyes already tracking the boy even as his body coils and follows in the space between heartbeats, follows the spinning form down into the alley. Naruto's precise landing stirs dusty leaves and an empty bottle before Sasuke darts after him.

His fingers, this time, brush the rough edge of a narrow tear along the sleeve. Sasuke's heart jumps

_-so close-_

—and Naruto slides away like the light over water.

Sasuke skids to a stop, flexing hands and sucking in air, staring, _angry_ because Naruto _had_ to be mocking him. Had to be.

"Dammit," he spits. Naruto shifts on his feet, yards away, balancing as Sasuke twitches fingers, stepping back when Sasuke moves two strides forward.

"_Dammit_," Sasuke repeats. "Is this some fucking _game_ to you?"

Silent, Naruto tilts his head and lowers his body, bouncing foot to foot for a second. His bright blue eyes follow Sasuke's frustrated movements, his clenching hands, the harsh breathing.

"Answer me!" Sasuke darts forward as fast as possible, lunging.

In a flash, Naruto disappears from his vision, even as Sasuke locates his chakra and follows his shadow above the buildings. They were near the wall; if Naruto managed to get past the wall…Sasuke leaps to his feet and follows without a second thought, half-convinced that it was all Naruto's fault he was out here in the first place.

-::-

"What are you doing back here? Did you get him settled down already?"

"Uh, you see," Kakashi begins. "Not exactly…I'm not sure where he is…but Sasuke's most likely with him!"

"…Say that again?" Tsunade scowls terribly at him. "I thought I told you not to let him run around!"

"No, you said 'don't chase him,' so…" Kakashi shrugs, laughing. "I don't think Sasuke will hurt him, and he'll bring Naruto back, so…"

Tsunade rubs at the bridge of her nose. "I knew I should've locked him up…"

"Hokage-sama?"

"Come on," Tsunade rises to her feet, stern and daunting as she looks up at Kakashi. "We'll have to go and get him before he hurts Sasuke or something…"

-::-

Sasuke only notices they've left the safety of the village when his vision is filled with trees; for the last five minutes, he chased Naruto all along the inner wall, up and down and across the shingled roof-tops until Naruto, in the moment he pulls ahead, darts up along the wall and over. Sasuke followed without a second glance and now he's deep within the woods just beyond Konoha's walls.

They play a twisting, improvised game of tag as Naruto stays only split-seconds ahead of Sasuke's reach. The blond slows when Sasuke slows, darts away when he moves—Naruto seems to mock him by staying just out of reach.

Sasuke stretched for a bit of extra power, waiting, holding it until he senses the moment—which comes as Naruto pauses to figure out the best way to avoid Sasuke—

Then Sasuke twists and jumps off the solidness of a boulder with extra speed. Naruto crosses his path—Sasuke slams into him, fingers snagging the ripped jacket and Naruto makes a strange little noise as Sasuke tumbles them into the ground. Instinct has Sasuke sitting on Naruto's kicking legs and holding down his wrists.

Sasuke stares furiously down, bruising the wrists and half-tempted to squeeze the neck instead. "Bastard," he breathes, heart thumping enough to deafen him. "I hate you I hate you-I-hate-you!" he barely realizes he's growling out these words and Naruto bucks beneath him.

One particularly violent heave throws Sasuke forward and Naruto wrenches a leg free and hooks it around Sasuke's leg, pulling him tight, then Sasuke raises a fist and strikes Naruto as hard as he could across the face. Arms and clawing fingers pull him down; Sasuke has to wrestle with the wrists and push them against the leaves and dirt to keep the nails away from his eyes, the teeth away from his skin.

_How is he so strong?_ Flashes through his head and all of a sudden he can't believe how _angry_ he is that Naruto was fighting back, no matter how weird his method of attack is, and that Sasuke snarled or screamed or something in-between. This close, he could see the blood staining Naruto's lips, the bruises and dirt and leaves stuck on his body. This close, so he opens his mouth and _bites_ the muscle on Naruto's shoulder—

A knee whacks his side, fingers clawing down his back and neck and Sasuke gets in a solid punch to Naruto's ribs while hearing wet, noisy breathing in his ear. He can feel blood seeping down his side.

Naruto squirms beneath him as Sasuke drops his full weight onto Naruto. He scrambles to keep the scratching fingers away from his face and at the moment he pushes down, Naruto pushes up. The blond has both legs wrapped around his waist and squeezing them, looking as fierce as Sasuke feels.

But he pushes up against Sasuke and there's _something_ between them that Sasuke recognizes—the knowledge of it splashes cold over him, almost breaking through his rage to the "What the hell am I doing?" that was waiting on the other side.

Almost.

It only makes him pause in a brief, shocked moment to watch Naruto's blue eyes, stomach and chest mashed together, legs tangled, while Naruto's rigid flesh is trapped between them.

Almost.

Sasuke tenses and pushes down in the intent to get up, get away, because getting away is his first reaction—and then he stops.

_I can use this_, he thinks—

—because Naruto twitches and bucks up again—

—and while he's never been inclined to have sex with either gender, he _can use this_ because all he wants to do is hurt him.

_I can hurt him and it's all the better_, Sasuke feels a laugh choking up. _Because he **wants** to.___

He almost laughs. Instead, he forces Naruto's thighs apart with his hips and pushes down hard onto Naruto's body. His knees dig into the dirt and grass and leaves, dig into the grit until they sting in pain, but all Sasuke can focus on is the way Naruto twists beneath him, panting, head thrown back. Sasuke fastens his mouth onto the exposed skin and growls, releasing his grip on the wrist to tear at Naruto's already ripped clothing.

Everything blurs into angry thundering noise from the moment his hands expose the tanned skin on Naruto's shoulder, the bruise mark from his teeth. Everything fades as he tastes the salt on the skin, the traces of sweat and the zing-flavor of chakra as Naruto writhes and rasps out breath after breath.

Sasuke's busy mapping out hurried tracks across the skin, moving the tattered clothing when flashes of red wisp around the corners of his vision. He almost looks but Naruto drags nails down his arm.

Sasuke backhands him without thinking, barely conscious of the red chakra bursting around them, tearing up the ground and leaves and flinging them high. The air tugs around him, pulls and slides against him. Warm, almost electric, and Sasuke realizes the purpose of the red chakra when his bare chest slides up against Naruto's skin.

In fact, as the rest of his body follows, he's nearly naked and so is Naruto, and Sasuke's never lifted a hand to his belt.

But it doesn't matter, he decides, when Naruto wraps his muscled legs around Sasuke again and Sasuke's world narrows into a desperate heat. It doesn't matter how Naruto had torn the clothes from their backs or how the chakra was a brilliant crimson, or how everything seemed surreal.

Nothing mattered and Sasuke chased down the last of his mental resistance and convinced himself he was going to do this. They were both naked, both bruised and bloody and Naruto was making soft little grunts high in his throat.

Sasuke felt hard enough to shatter, hot and blind on the edges, nestled against Naruto's bony hips and the strange feeling of Naruto's sex against his, thrusting back and forth and fighting to hold the blond down.

Naruto bites at him; Sasuke bites back and lifts Naruto's hips with one hand, even as the blond holds up his position. Sasuke pulls back enough to find the dip between his legs and then everything happens in crystal slowness when all it takes is less than seconds to push inside.

—he was _really_ _doing this_—his penis lodged halfway, almost painfully tight as Naruto's body resists the intrusion. It almost makes him stop—

Almost.

Then Naruto groans and arches up and everything tightens around him and Sasuke can't breathe it feels so good so he pushes all the way in and rocks back and forth in quick succession.

_-god-_

_-oh god-_

The world turns red, was red, hot and sweet and so bright it was white and red at the same time behind his eyes and Sasuke hisses between his teeth and digs his fingers into the ground for purchase as Naruto rakes his back to ribbons and lunged against him, impaled again and again. The blond made several breathy whines and takes the flesh of Sasuke's shoulder between his teeth and _bites_ almost hard enough to draw blood.

But Sasuke doesn't care because he's too close and everything is flickering into lighting in his belly—

—and Naruto nearly screams as Sasuke thrusts into him because he's _really doing this_ and he topples over the edge and breaks out on the rocks below and hears a distant _"…ah…"_ as Naruto follows him down. He feels the slickness between their skin, the sting of the welts and scratches on his back and Naruto's voice vibrating against his body.

_Ah_, Sasuke thinks in the middle of floating back up and it's all he can seem to summon forth. _Ah…Naruto…_

-::-

"—goddammit," is the first thing that breaks through the droning in his head, wakes him from a sleepy, sticky feeling. His back is fire, legs and arms leaden with overtaxed muscles. Groaning, he turns his head on the lumpy mattress to see who was interrupting his rest—

A rapid heartbeat, just under his ear, and a hollow windy sound—breathing, he amends and pushes upward.

Naruto. Under him.

Sasuke frowns, and carefully moves onto legs that protest any movemtn and sits. He turns his head, remembering distantly something had woken him, and stares up to the pale, _angry_ face of the Hokage.

Sasuke almost flinches back in fear. Almost, and reminds himself to merely look away.

"Hokage-sama?" Kakashi's voice is soft and hesitant.

"Goddammit!" the hokage spits again. "I can't hide something like this—the whole _village _felt that!" She stamps her foot, and Sasuke is mildly impressed by the cracks that radiate for a ten feet around. She gives him a furious glance again, and Sasuke steels his resolve and meets her, glare for glare, until Kakashi tosses a spare shirt and boxers at him.

"Put them on," the teacher requests.

_What about Naruto?_ Sasuke wants to ask, but doesn't. He doesn't care what happens to Naruto. He slides into the shirt and stands to put on the boxers, and waits just as silently as the Hokage pushes him aside. She kneels by Naruto and gathers his unresponsive body—

—the sight bothers him and he doesn't know why—

But then she's standing with a look so dark even Sasuke barely avoids stepping backwards. "Get him to the hospital," she orders Kakashi. "I'll take Naruto there myself."

Sasuke watches her vanish and turns his face upwards.

_I really did…_comes his singular thought—and then Kakashi takes him by the arm and the world blurs.

-::-

"What the hell were you trying to do?"

Sasuke sits, clothed, scratched and bloodstained. He doesn't raise his eyes, doesn't move or respond. The doctors of the hospital have treated the worst of the wounds, a set of deep bloody scratches that mar the smoothness of his back—he's got three stitches to hold it together over the blade of his shoulder. Now, an hour or so after they've sent him to a private room, the Hokage was standing before him. He's still dirty and somewhat bloody, but she doesn't seem to notice.

Tsunade fumes silently and with deliberate steps, she glides back and forth in front of him. "Answer me, Uchiha, because I can make damn sure you never get out of this village."

Sullen dark eyes glance to hers. "Why? You already know what I've done."

Tsunada slams a fist onto the small table, cracking it. "You little shit _of course_ I know—you think this isn't serious? You obviously don't know one thing about the consequences of your actions—you spoiled, stubborn _stupid brat_—"

Sasuke stares up at her, silent.

Tsunade leans forward and her voice drops into a deathly quiet sound. "Naruto wasn't himself, correct?"

"Yes."

"So, in that knowledge, you should have refrained from provoking him, correct?"

"Yes."

Tsunade grips his shirt and pulls him into her face. Sasuke's skin and face is bloody and bruised with scratches and bitemarks. Sasuke doesn't seem to care that he's dangling in her hand. "So you raped him while he was unable to reason, unable to _realize_ what you were doing?"

"No." Sasuke replies indifferently.

"You raped him!" Tsunade hisses.

"It wasn't rape!" Sasuke snaps back; anger is the only emotion in his eyes. "He _wanted _it—"

Tsunade slaps him, furious. "That—" she spits as Sasuke's head lolls. "—wasn't Naruto."

-::-

Tsunade storms from the hospital room, door hanging open. Kakashi can see a cracked, wooden table and Sasuke sitting on the bed. He can see the bruises still staining his skin, and blood trickling from a fresh wound on Sasuke's mouth.

"Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asks before she breaks something outside of the room. "You haven't healed him?"

"_Fuck_ that little brat," she snarls. "He can heal on his own time for all I care!"

Kakashi isn't sure what to say to that. "I…take it he wasn't cooperating?"

Tsunade whirls in place. "Cooperating? He _raped_ Naruto, excuses or not, he held him down and _forced_ him."

"But—" Kakashi frowns with the though it doesn't seem like Sasuke. Sure, the kid was screwed up and had strange ideas, but…rape? "I'm sorry; I don't believe Sasuke would do that."

"He _did_."

"Did you ask him why?" Kakashi muses.

"Kakashi," Tsunade warns with a withering glance.

The jounin smiles sheepishly and shrugs. "Well, Sasuke isn't…sane. We both know that. Maybe Naruto triggered something in him. It's possible. With Sasuke…with Naruto…anything's possible."

::TBC::

A/N:: Well. That was a lot more than I expected. And I've got more to write up. Mm. yay, I'm already half-way thru a second chapter. :D mebbe this one won't be so bad….and mebbe I'll get to work on OfI…sometime…when I'm not swamped by school and life and work and stress….and this is the in-between fic, where I refocus my thoughts before working on older projects. Dunno how long this will be, and if it'll be updated within a decent time…(I know I know, don't worry, Out-from-Inside calls me too!)

nargh. Lemme know if you like it!


	2. two

**::Warning/Disclaimer::  
**The characters aren't mine. The story and plot is. There will be lots of sex, swearing, and abuse, and it's **Rated R**, people, _for a reason_.  
**Read accordingly**.  
Anyway, Sasuke's not a happy camper, and Naruto's just not…normal anyway. So I've thrown them together, dashed in some angst, and written this one up. They're about seventeen in this, with all current attacks and problems, except that Sasuke doesn't run off (doesn't try, ok? he's still around and angsting.)  
So! On the grounds of yaoi and slashiness, I give you this dark angsty unhappy love story.

**::white, surge red::  
::two::**

Naruto wakes on his stomach, which was weird because he never sleeps on his stomach. He blinks and sees blurry green and lifts his head a fraction.

_I'm in a hospital_, he realizes, cold with anxious sickness. _Why am I in a hospital?_ Naruto pushes himself up and swings his legs around to dangle. His head aches and his body feels sore, like he trained too far past his limit. Legs and stomach feel leaden and threaten to cramp.

Naruto absently rubs at his legs. It hurts to think and he was tired. _Does it matter? …that stupid…it came early. Maybe I hurt myself or something…_

Only that doesn't sound right.

_What did I do?_ He puts a hand to his head—and pauses. His hand is clenched around something, clenched enough to be numb. Naruto forces his hand to relax and uncurls his fingers.

—and sees a scrap of bloodstained crumpled cloth, smeared with something. Naruto grimaces; he doesn't recognize the fabric, but…experimentally, he turns it over. No identifying changes on this side, either. Just the singular black color.

"Huh," Naruto muses and tucks it away under his pillow. Then he looks around to the empty room. Nothing much to see there, either, so he slides off the bed and walks on silent toes to the door.

Strangely, the Hokage Tsunade and Kakashi are out there arguing. Naruto finds it amusing before he thinks _I did something bad—she's angry at me— _Naruto stops to wait, half hidden.

"—Sasuke isn't…sane, Hokage-sama. We both know that. Maybe Naruto triggered something—"

_Triggered something? _Naruto thinks in a panic. _Did I attack Sasuke? What does he mean, not **sane**?_ Fingers tighten on the door and Naruto unconsciously hunches. _Where **is** Sasuke?_

Tsunade is the next to speak. "Dammit, Kakashi, I can't give him an excuse for that. It wasn't supposed to happen in the first place!"

_What **happened**_? Naruto closes his eyes and slides away from the window, skin creeping cold. _Where's Sasuke? Is he okay? What did I **do**_?

Naruto turns away and stumbles to the bed and crawls in. _I did something wrong, I know it. I can feel it._ He reaches and pulls the scrap of cloth out.

_It matches…Sasuke's shirt…_

In the middle of his worry, the door opens quietly. Naruto jumps and hides the cloth without looking as Tsunade enters. She is mouthing furious words over her shoulder. She must think that he was still asleep—

Then she turns her head and sees him, stopping. "Naruto?"

Naruto nods slowly.

Relief and worry cross over her face. "I wasn't sure when you'd wake up," she says, finishing the small journey to sit next to him on the bed.

"Ah," Naruto replies, wrapping arms about knees and watches her with big eyes. He doesn't know how to ask about what he might have done, what had happened.

"How do you feel?"

"I'm okay. How did I get here?"

"We found you and brought you here."

"Oh…" Naruto's gaze falls to his knees, the fading scratches and bruises. "Did I…did I do anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did I hurt someone?"

Tsunade sighs and folds her hands together. "Naruto, I don't think you attacked anyone…"

Sharp blue eyes rise to her face. "Then what happened?"

"Don't you know?"

"I…" Naruto realizes his hand is rubbing at his shoulder. "I'm not sure. I remember watching everyone…and running." He closes his eyes, swallowing. "I saw Sasuke…did I hurt him? Is he okay? Where—"

Tsunade's face has gone remote and cold and Naruto can't finish his sentence when she speaks "Don't worry about Sasuke. He's fine."

"But—"

Tsunade takes his head and kisses his forehead. "Get some rest and I'll tell you more later, okay? It's not…good news."

Naruto's heart lurches and he pales. "_But_—"

"Rest, you little brat," Tsunade whispers fondly, almost sadly. "I've got to figure out a few things first."

---

"_What?_"

"He doesn't remember." Tsunade nearly throws down her tea cup in frustration. "Or, at least, not yet. I'm not sure how it happened or why it had to be Uchiha, but Naruto's surge came early again. It's never affected him to this point before…I don't know how to explain it."

"He never let someone fuck him either," Jiraiya replies blandly. Tsunade shoots him a glare. "It's true, isn't it?"

Tsunade crosses her arms. "It's not funny, Jiraiya. This is too serious to ignore—Naruto changed his entire persona within a day and Sasuke—I don't even want to _begin_ on that stupid little shit. I don't even want to know how he managed to do what he did—"

"So what? Sasuke let out some pent-up aggression, and Naruto got laid—what's the problem?" Jiraiya looks up in time to see a fast-moving palm—"_Ow_Dammit, you old bitch—"

"_This is serious!_" She stomps her foot while Jiraiya works his jaw into place. "Whatever the reason, Sasuke and Naruto did something they can't undo. How do you think this well affect their team? How will this affect _Naruto_—we don't even know the _reason_ he goes through his surges—"

"He's a boy," Jiraiya mutters. "Boys always want sex."

"And if you haven't noticed, those surges are happening sooner and sooner."

"Oh?" Jiriaya adjusts his headband. "So what does that mean?"

"…I have no idea. I haven't had a chance to examine Naruto during one of those phases to find the source—I'm afraid it has something to do with his seal…But he seems okay. We'll just have to keep an eye on him."

"And Sasuke? He's got his own issues, remember."

"Yeah," Tsunade finally replies. "I know. He's been through too much…I shouldn't have gotten so angry…I just hope it doesn't blow up in our face."

---

Naruto wakes when the nurse on duty pats him on the head and hands him a small paper cup with two white pills and a glass of juice. "Nh…Wha're these?" he yawns, glancing to the window; the sky beyond is dark.

"Oh, something to help you sleep."

_Been sleeping all day,_ Naruto wants to say, eying the pills. Instead he smiles faintly when the nurse waits expectantly and tosses back the pills. He works in a mouthful of juice and swallows.

The nurse pats him on the head again, saying "Goodnight," and bustles out of the room. Naruto settles back against his pillow and as the door clicks shut, he turns his head and spits the damp pills onto the floor.

A half-hour passes as he sprawls out on the uncomfortable hospice bed, eyes fixed on the window, watching. The sky darkens only a fraction, so Naruto assumes that it wasn't too late and it wasn't close to dawn yet.

_And I can't sleep, but I'd rather **not** sleep than take some stupid pills._

Restless, his thoughts cycle back to the haze he can still feel ghosting over him. _Like hands,_ he thinks, shivering. _Like hands on my throat._ Naruto turns over, not tired in the least and stares at the darkened window again. Shallow thoughts of Sasuke slip into his mind unbidden. He knows that he's not alone in the hospital; with other patients and doctors and nurses around, he didn't have a chance of being alone.

But he _felt_ alone, and couldn't escape it, couldn't place the thought that Sasuke had something to do with it. And he was here, wasn't he? The last rush had been worse, so worse than any other time.

_Maybe I should go talk to him…_Naruto rubs at his arms and sits up. Maybe—_maybe_—he should take a walk and, by chance, find Sasuke, but _only_ if he happened to come across him. Yeah. Because he didn't care one damn bit, but if they _happened _to meet—

Maybe then he'd get some answers.

Naruto glances down—and damn if he was going to wander around in an open-backed hospital gown. Naruto leaves the bed, poking about in the small set of drawers next to the bed and discovers a simple gray t-shirt and loose sweatpants. They were too large and the t-shirt hung to his knees, but Naruto would rather deal with slipping pants than that stupid gown.

Dressed, feeling stealthy and secretive, he slides to the door on slippered feet and peers through the window.

Silence. Nothing. No one. Naruto breathes a sigh of relief and eases himself through the door. He feels infinitely better for leaving the little room and wandering the hallways. The whisking sound of his footsteps seem too loud, and while the lights were set on dim, the utter sense of isolation gives Naruto a strange comfort. He doesn't _like_ being alone, but he's been alone for so lone, it's a comfort. It's familiar.

_This_, he thinks. …_is not._

He passes an empty lobby, and further down he can see the brighter lights of a nursing station. _Time to find a new direction._

A stairwell beckons him from the right; a sign on the right with an arrow pointing up reads '_Green Lounge'._

_Sounds perfect._

_---_

Sasuke passes most of the day dozing and gathering his chakra to speed the healing process. His jaw still throbs from the Hokage's heavy palm; Sasuke feels a simple sullen anger at the entire situation.

Before he realized it, the sun had set and Sasuke was nowhere close to sleeping so he sits and closes his eyes to practice controlling his chakra. Immersed in it, he's distinctly aware of each and every personal chakra signature in the building—most of them he tunes out automatically. Except…there's a part of his mind focused solely on keeping tabs on a single flame-point chakra not too far from his room.

Naruto's chakra.

Sasuke spends almost an hour meditating with partial awareness on the chakra down the hall, so when it begins to move, begins to flare, Sasuke's eyes open in the darkness of his room

_He should be sleeping,_ is his irritated thought. _Stupid Naruto._

Inwardly, Sasuke follows the movement and understands that Naruto is moving down the hallway, past his room and everything else until—wait, a pause—

Sasuke turns his face upwards. _What the hell is he doing?_

The irritation shares a breath of wind to the sullen embers in his gut; it flames up until he can taste it on the back of his tongue. There is no general reason for it, no _why am I angry_, it's just there.

So Sasuke rises from his bed, still dressed and scratched and somewhat bloody on the edges, and slips out of the door in the shadows.

---

It's easy to stalk the shadows of the halls and staircase and just as easy to find his way after Naruto's presence. Sasuke follows him to the upper levels and down the hall to the _Green Lounge _where Naruto's chakra coils, waiting. So Sasuke edges up to the door and peers inside, and he _knows _he hasn't made any noise but Naruto's head still turns towards him. He can see the curve of a cheek in the wan light, the tousled hair and baggy clothes. With Naruto against the window Sasuke can't make out the face; part of him wonders _Is he still…_

"Sasuke?"

The dark haired male lets out his breathe in a quiet whuush. _He's normal_, he thinks and shudders.

"It's you, isn't it? I know it's you—" Naruto's voice is unusually quiet for the blond. "Sasuke…" The blond rises from the chair and strides through the shadows towards him.

Sasuke closes the door firmly behind him and leans back against it. "Dobe," he greets. _He doesn't…act like anything happened…_

"—really glad you're ok, I though I did something really _bad_ and Tsunade wouldn't—" Naruto stops just short of invading his personal space; over here, there's enough light to make out distinctive features and as Naruto gets closer, his words drop off abruptly.

"…I did that to you…?" he breathes.

Sasuke can't explain the feeling needling into his chest. He wanted to laugh. To scream. To smile and gloat—"So what?" he replies indifferently, looking down at the dark bruises and the lines of scratches. "It doesn't hurt."

Even if it does, Sasuke doesn't let that thought pass around in his mind because Naruto's look is _so_ worth it. Pain. Guilt. Regret. Everything he never normally sees in those blue eyes…

And then Naruto _is_ close enough to touch and he's reaching out to graze his fingers over a bruise on his cheek that would be bluish-green if the lights were on.

"I…I didn't…"

Sasuke almost asks "Why do you care?" but bites down on it and shrugs. "Ah, the Hokage gave me that one," he says, and leans away from Naruto's fingers.

_He really doesn't know…_

A frown seams his face. "Tsunade-hag? She hit you? _Why_? I can't believe her, throwing her weight around like she's _something_—"

"It doesn't matter." Sasuke pauses just long enough to see the disbelief on Naruto's face. _This is going to be good._ Time for the next question. "So…what happened to you?"

Naruto's eyes fall again to the scratches on Sasuke's arms and his expression slowly shifts into what Sasuke classifies as 'troubled.' The blond fidgets and draws his arms up to twine his fingers together.

"Well?"

Naruto finally shrugs at his question. "I just get…sick. And I get a fever, and sometimes I end up breaking things….What?"

Sasuke's mouth almost twitches into a smile. The _power_ of the situation is rushing to his brain, sparking off ideas and a dark amused pleasure that _Naruto didn't know_ and now he could do so much more…_Perhaps I shouldn't…_if Naruto obviously didn't remember…

_But I remember…_

And he couldn't let it go. He couldn't stand the silence. Blandly, Sasuke asks "…it's nothing."

"So, uh," Naruto tugs at the hair on the back of his head and shrugs. "What, um, did I do? I didn't hurt anyone, did I?"

_Ah. Gotta know, do you? _Excitement sparked down his spine. Sasuke slowly closes the space between them until he can lean close to Naruto. His fingers rest just above Naruto's heart, and leans closer until Naruto flinches back.

"You won't like it," Sasuke whispers to his ear, solemn cold.

Naruto shifts uneasily and turns his face away. "Yeah, whatever—are you okay?"

"I'm fine." A moment of silence before Sasuke speaks with severe intensity. "Are you _sure_ you want to know?"

"Shut up and tell me already," Naruto snaps.

"Well," Sasuke lets the corner of his mouth twitch but he isn't moving away. "You sat up on the tip of an electric pole and stared at people. Then I showed up and ended up chasing you all over the forest…"

"Where…I did all that?" Naruto cranes his head to squint at a few of the bruises dotting Sasuke's neck and shoulder.

Sasuke nods, moving his mouth closer to Naruto's ear. "Yes. Then…you let me fuck you."

It doesn't take much more than a heartbeat for Naruto to register the meaning behind those words; he knew more than enough about how the world worked. No, it doesn't take long at all, and Sasuke's body feels light and suddenly dizzy while he waits for the expected outburst.

The realization in Naruto's eyes is blackened by confusion. "I—what? You what?"

Sasuke is pleased and somewhat annoyed—he doesn't know why—to watch Naruto pull back and fidget uselessly with his hands. His eyes have gone wide.

"You-we—why? _Why_ would you—"

Sasuke doesn't let himself speak. He'd ruin the moment. So he stands there when Naruto's face shifts into instinctive anger. Sasuke doesn't move when Naruto pulls farther away with a jerk, cheeks dark.

Sasuke feels like laughing.

"Is that some kind of stupid joke? You think this is funny?" Naruto's fists swing out—Sasuke lets him strike the muscle of his chest—but there is no pain. "Goddamn you Sasuke—_what the hell?_"

There is a thousand 'whys' in the strength of his voice and Sasuke ignores them all. He catches Naruto's wrist in his hand and squeezes, pushing forward. "Because I wanted to," he murmurs.

Naruto punches him across the face with his free hand and jerks back; his back smacks into chair and Sasuke gingerly touches his cheek and mouth. Naruto doesn't move or try to slide away; nothing one would expect—instead, as Sasuke darts his eyes to gauge his expression—the blond is merely confused. Sasuke can see his shoulders shaking.

His insides twist into his throat. _He's not…angry. Why isn't he angry?_ So he stands there and stares back and waits as Naruto holds his stomach and turns away with a grimace.

"What," Sasuke mocks, almost laughing. "It wasn't good for you?"

"Bastard!" Naruto throws the nearest object—an earthen flowerpot—with enough force to shatter it against the wall. The noise echoes in the room, ringing back the silence. "Fuck you! Here you're so great, so cool and godly—you're nothing but a stuck-up asshole! I wish you were dead!"

Sasuke barely smiles and holds his breath for a second. There is no conscious thought in his head, nothing but a breathless excitement that he was getting him _angry_—"That doesn't change shit, Naruto."

"I hate you," Naruto says, nearly voiceless. "You're such a prick." His eyes flare up at him in the wan light. Then abruptly, he stops and all the anger flickers away from his face. "…go away, Sasuke. I need to think. You're not helping, okay? Just go away," he speaks, sliding to the left before dropping into a chair.

Sasuke pushes the hair from his face and brushes off his shirt, unresponsive. Watching as Naruto watches him, quietly, warily. Watching for the afterburn.

_Can I take this further?_

_Will he…?_

_I…don't think I can let **this**_ _go—no, not like this._ Sasuke glanced down in the shadows at his arm, pale and marred by the bruises. _No, I can still use this. I'll use it to the end._

"Naruto—tch, don't tell me you're _scared_ of it…" Narrow blue eyes are waiting for him, hostile when he looks back up. Naruto's face is washed out and pale in the shadow, his mouth a thin line. Sasuke notes the anger flushing his cheeks and bites the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning fiercely.

But Naruto doesn't speak.

Sasuke moves closer, one step at a time, and notes the clenching fists. He moves slow and when he reaches Naruto, he leans over him again. His thoughts are wisps of red warning. Naruto can do serious damage if he chose to—Sasuke would have to be careful.

"Really, Naruto," he presses a little bit closer and drops away from the little bit of resistance still lodged in his head. He was close enough to feel the warmth of the skin just out of his reach. But Naruto doesn't move, doesn't turn his gaze from the vacant point through Sasuke's shoulder.

"I really wanted to—" Sasuke lets a smile cross his mouth. "—and I know—"

Naruto's anger flashes brighter and his shoulders tense up—.

"—That you'll let me do it again."

­—_whack!—_Sasuke's head snaps back and there's blood on his mouth while Naruto's hand is closing around his throat—the floor is _cold_ under his back—

There is triumph in Sasuke's eyes.

"Go _away_, Sasuke," Naruto hisses. "Or I'll kill you."

"…I can't."

"What?"

"…You're _sitting_ on me, dobe."

Sasuke only gets a moment of anticipation before he feels the tension in Naruto's body as he moves. _Is he gonna hit me again?_ But there's nothing around him and no shifting air pressure to signal an incoming fist. Twisting, Sasuke pushes up and watches the way Naruto strides towards the door. Neither speaks—there is no room for words.

As he leaves, Naruto looks back one last time with something not confused, not angry. Just…a scowling thoughtfulness.

The familiar burn of anger seeps into Sasuke's mind—Naruto should be _angry_, he should be hurt—

_He shouldn't like it. He can't like it. It won't **work** if he likes it—_

Anger that only makes him want to follow Naruto down the hall and hit him, hit him until the tightness dissipates—

But Naruto is already gone and the door is swinging shut; Sasuke's common sense warns him that Naruto was too volatile.

Better to wait. Better to plan this out in case of the unexpected.

Yes, Sasuke decides. Better to wait.

---

The new day brings a sort of numbness to Naruto. His night was filled with a half-dozing sleep and despite the bustle of the hospital, Naruto feels nothing but alone in his room.

_Is this what she meant?_ Naruto thinks. _What do I do? Was he lying? Not lying? _Under the covers of his thin hospital bed, Naruto scowls into the pillow and closes his eyes. His memory could only produce blurred images of Sasuke, of people and trees and Sasuke again—Before the hospital, all of his thoughts were distant and dreamlike. _Goddamn him—_

_I have to remember it,_ he thinks in disappointment, scrunching his eyes tighter. _Gotta__ go past the blurs—_

—Sasuke, above him—

Naruto lets out a surprised little noise, cold and tingling. _He wasn't lying…he really did…_

—Sasuke's _hands_ on him—

No, really, hands on his shoulders—the covers fly back without warning; Naruto jumps and to his shame he yelps.

"Well," the Hokage raises her brow and smiles. "Good morning to you too."

"Gah—Tsunada-hag!" Naruto flips onto his back and groans. "What do you want, it's _early_."

"We need to talk, Naruto."

_About me.__ About Sasuke. About…everything? Why hasn't she told me about Sasuke yet? Why didn't she say something yesterday? _Naruto sits upright and wishes he had something to chase away the dull fear that rises in his throat.

Tsunade sits on the bed and brushes back the hair on his head. "What do you remember?"

"Um, just blurry stuff," Naruto admits truthfully, careful not to look up directly. Not yet.

Tsunade's voice drops into wariness with her next question. "Do you remember Sasuke?"

Naruto nods after a brief moment. His gut still burns when he thinks of those _things_ he said and all the anger that crackled in his head—

"Do you…remember what happened with Sasuke?"

—Sasuke's _mouth_ on his body—

Naruto flinches and fiddles uselessly with his hands. "Yeah. I mean, I know. I got bits and pieces…" _Stupid Sasuke._

_Tell her how you found out and what Sasuke said last night—_a part of him urges. Naruto shoves it aside when Tsunade takes his hands and holds them tightly.

"Look at me," she says softly. After his eyes rise, she continues. "Your surge came early, and stronger than you expected—by the time we found you…Sasuke had already done enough damage to you."

_—let me fuck you—_

"He…and I—" Naruto can't even _say_ it and he hates the burning in his throat.

"Yes."

"And I hurt him."

"No…Naruto. You didn't." She pauses and lets Naruto wonder if she was actually gonna come out and _say_ it. "You didn't intentionally injure him. He…he took advantage of you and…" Her hands squeeze his and she takes a deep breath. "He had sex with you, Naruto, during the time you crested."

Naruto knows he should show _some_ reaction, but he can't. He already knew what the woman's telling him; there's no shock value left in the action so he shrugs, helplessly. "Is that…" he hunches his shoulders. "…why I get sick? Because I—that I have to—you know?"

"The periodic changes in your body are a side effect. I'm still not sure the reason they happen...."

"_Is it?_" Naruto repeats. "Did I let Sasuke screw me because I was—was some bitch in heat?"

"Naruto—"

"Is it gonna happen again?"

"Tsunade sighs. "It's possible."

Naruto tries to pull his hands away. "So I'll end up—"

"Naruto!" Tsunade pulls him into a hug that he doesn't try to fight. "I know you're upset and confused, but it's okay. It'll be okay. We'll do our best to find out why, but until then…"

Naruto waits out her silence. Somehow, he feels that he should be worse, should be angry and defiant—

_—you'll **let** me—_

Naruto shudders. "Tsunade-hag—" he has to clear his throat. "So there's nothing…you can't…"

"All we know, brat, is that it's a side effect of the seal. You know how you get chakra and regeneration because of the Kyuubi?"

Naruto shrugged up against Tsunade. _The demon's the cause of this_?

"We think it _might_ be from some of instincts seeping through the seal."

"Do you…do you think that there will…be other things? If the seal's leaking, am I gonna get…better?"

Tsunade's voice is low and worried. "…I don't know, Naruto."

---

"Oiy…"

Sasuke opens his eyes to see Kakashi lounging at the wall by the window of his hospital room. "Kakashi-sensei."

"I've got some information for you."

"About?"

"You. Naruto." Kakashi shrugs. "But mostly orders."

Sasuke sits up and pushes back his hair. "Are you going to tell me what happened to him?"

"Ah…I'm not allowed to really _tell_ you," Kakashi laughs and shrugs at Sasuke's narrow glare. "But, here's what we do. Naruto will be staying at the Tower until she discovers the cause of Naruto's illness, and the Hokage has ordered you to avoid Naruto for the time being."

_At the tower?__ Avoid him? They're trying to keep us separated— Sasuke_ keeps his face immobile and replies, "What about the team?"

"Oh, we'll still have minor missions, but our focus will be on training. I expect you to help Sakura up her strengths"

Sasuke feels his mouth tighten into a line and he snaps "Fine. Whatever. Anything _else_?"

"No, no, that'll be it." Kakashi strolls to the door and looks back over his shoulder. "Unless you want to say something?"

Sasuke isn't sure of why he speaks; his intentions were never to voice such possessive thoughts, but the words fall out of his mouth like bitter seeds. "If he comes to me, Kakashi-sensei?" and he unclenches his hands from the bedsheets.

Kakashi pauses to look at him sharply, silent for a moment. "Well," he finally says. "When that happens, you'd best be ready for it."

And then he's gone before Sasuke can demand an answer to _that_ statement, leaving him to scowl at the white-painted walls and swallow down his resentment.

---

"So…when can I go home?"

"About that, Naruto…would you mind staying at the Tower with me?" Tsunade smiles reassuringly. "It'd only be until we figure out a cause and to make sure you don't have any strange side effects."

"But…" Naruto frowns. "What about my missions? My team?"

_Sasuke…what about Sasuke?_

"You'll sort of be on a paid vacation for while, so no missions."

"But—"

"It's _necessary_, Naruto, because this is a potentially serious problem for you. It won't be forever—just think, you'll have plenty of time to train—" Tsunade stops and sighs. "I know you don't like it."

He didn't and she could tell; his hands were shaking.

Softly, she continued. "We have to figure this out. It's likely you'll have to live with this for a long time, and if there's a way to make it less of a problem, less of a danger, I want to be able to find it, Naruto."

Naruto knows he can't protest this. He doesn't dare. There's nothing he can do. _A danger to others,_ is one of the things she doesn't say.

_Sasuke won't be around either_.

"Alright," Tsunade responds, standing when Naruto finally exhales. "Are you ready?"

"I guess…do I get ramen?" Naruto slides off the bed, uncomfortable to be standing and feeling like his insides had a pinhole leak somewhere.

"If you want," Tsunade smiles down at him and rests a hand on his head.

The silence of the room fades as they leave; the hall is bright and noisy and Naruto unconsciously strays closer to Tsunade's side—

_But what about Sasuke?__ What if—_

_—what if I don't **care** about Sasuke,_ Naruto shuts down the thought and reminds himself it's better to ignore that kind of thing because Sasuke was a fucking jerkwad. Yeah.

---

It's dark, and Sasuke is already free of the hospital. He knows Naruto is already gone, already inaccessible. Unreachable. But Sasuke hasn't gone home, yet—there's no one to make sure he gets to bed at a decent time anyway, so he stands out in the abandoned training grounds, five hundred yards in front of a target.

Shuriken swoop out and land a fraction off-center.

"Bitch," Sasuke says to nothing. He swipes away sweat and twitches his fingers. The weapons jerk free and whistle back—Sasuke catches them by twisting a spare shirt into the trajectory to spare his hands a potential cut. Then he fishes them from the fabric and makes sure the wires are clear.

—_shiii-uu-shunk-unk-k__—_

There. Sasuke lets a smile darken his features. Three little shurikens, all in a row. With a second jerk, the thoughts of Naruto are banished from his mind as easily as the weapons whistle back.

---

(one month later)

"You know, this sucks. I'm _bored_. When can I go outside? Because this really really sucks."

Tsunade tilts his chin up without answering and turns his head to the left.

"Come _on_, Granny—"

"I _know_, Naruto," Tsunade flicks him on the forehead. "Close your eyes, I'm almost done."

Naruto quiets for an amazing fifteen seconds and smiles charmingly. Then he begins to fidget, shifting from side to side. "Well?" he prompts impatiently.

"Your chakra is unusually low, but you appear normal—"

"So can I go outside? It's been a month! A _month!_"

"I know _exactly_ how long it's been—stuck in here with you—" the woman touches his forehead and chest. "Hold still and shut up for a second."

Naruto stops his squirming. "But—"

"Naruto—"

"A month! You said I'm normal—so I can go outside now, right?"

Tsunade pulls her hands away with a sigh and fixes Naruto with a frown. "I don't think so," she begins.

God _damn_ those puppy eyes.

"_Please_, Tsunade-hime-great pretty lady of all time—if I'm not—"

Frustrated, she flicks him on the forehead a second time. "Naruto! Listen to me, will you? Your body isn't returning to a _normal_ state. You appear normal, and you _feel_ normal, but only because you can't detect the changes yet." She pauses again and Naruto is watching her with large blue eyes. "I never said it was gone. It's simply weaker than before."

Naruto stops rubbing at his head and thinks. "…That's good, right?"

"Not exactly. One, there shouldn't be a change and two, your cycle is _still_ _there_. You just…don't feel it, it seems." Naruto pauses at her words—maybe he'll actually listen to her—

"So _can_ I?"

"God—alright—_alright_ **_but only until six_**!" she screams after the blur of speed already zooming out of her office. Then she stops to rub her temples and take several deep breaths. "…stubborn brat…"

---

Sasuke's day is the same as any other. Training. Always training. Quieter, maybe, with the blond shut up in the Tower. He hasn't seen Naruto for over the last month and had no idea what was even going on. If Naruto was even okay—

Not that he _cares_—

_-punch-punch-swingkick-elbow-punch-_

But all of it—the orders to stay away, Naruto's not-angry reaction—his own frustration—all of it adds up and leaves Sasuke with a sense of unfinished business. He had planned to take it further. There was supposed to be more pain. More hurt. Because he couldn't leave it at that and let it die—

_-kick-duck-punchpunch-sidestep-**kick**-_

No. Sasuke is still waiting, filling time with a tangle of thoughts and possibilities—if Naruto came to him, what would he do? Ignore him? Do as the Hokage ordered and leave him alone? Play it further?

_-**punch**-_

Sasuke stops with his knuckles splintering the bark of the training log. He pulls his fist away and brushes off the fragments. If he wasn't careful, it'd be the third log this week. He stands there, lungs burning with exertion.

_Play it further_.

Sasuke exhales. _If…_

_Play it **further**_.

Inhale. Exhale. A thought, _how, if he comes, how?_ passes through his head and—

**_—further_**_—_

—and Sasuke's eyes fly open as the burn of familiar chakra and his shoulders tense and he turns, casually wiping at his forehead.

Naruto has his hands laced behind his head, leaned up against a tree across the training grounds, _watching_ him.

The sharp edge of triumph tastes metallic on his tongue and Sasuke almost—

—just almost—

—smiles at the sight.

(tbc)

AN: Well…uh…wow. Getting twisted, here, aren't we? I hope you like—it seems that lots of you are if the reviews are any indication. XD so. The next part should be around somewhat soon. I'm almost done with school—mebbe, if I don't lose my mind, I'll be able to work on more than just bits and pieces! XD Until the next!


	3. three

**::Warning/Disclaimer::  
**The characters don't belong to me, but the plot and the story do. There will be lots of sex, swearing, and abuse.  
**_Rated R_**_ for a reason, people! **Read accordingly  
**_Anyway, Sasuke's not a happy camper, and Naruto's…not normal anyway, so I've thrown them together, dashed in some angst and wrote this up. They've got all current attacks and issues, except that Sasuke -still angsty- doesn't run off. He just broods. A lot.  
So, on the grounds of _yaoi_, I give you this dark, unhappy (kinda) lovestory.

::**part**** three**::

There is nothing better than the sun on his face as Naruto strolls down the streets. After a month of being cooped up with Tsunade and having absolutely nothing to do, it was almost _heaven_. Except, Naruto muses, heaven probably didn't have people staring or making faces at you when you walked down the street.

But he's used to that part of his life and shrugs it off. He's been to the Ichiraku stand and back again, and now he wanders the streets with a full stomach and no clue what to do until six. Or seven. Or later, depending on his mood. It wasn't every day that Tsunade caved into his begging.

_I'm **still **bored,_ he thinks and shoves his hands deeper into his pockets. _Because I have nothing to do._

_…I could go find Sasuke and kick his ass_, something suggested hopefully. Naruto makes an annoyed noise in his throat when the thoughts of the dark-haired Uchiha pass through his head. _I should. I really should, he_ amends. _-because he's a goddamned prick._

But he isn't…sure…on how he wants to see Sasuke—he doesn't know what made the other guy do what he did, but…he just isn't sure, period. His memory is foggy and even though he doesn't understand it—no, to be truthful, he was confused as hell why Sasuke would even _want—_

—and he's had more than enough time to brood on the subject, a month's worth of watching Tsunade's face darken whenever Sasuke's name was raised, a month of realizing she wanted nothing to _do_ with his existence—and Sasuke said she _had_ hit him—

Thinking about it, Naruto scowls and kicks at the gravel. _Who **cares** about it. Sasuke's a stupid asshole that's just—_

_—over there._

Naruto blinks and turns his head, seeing nothing beyond the line of trees. The training grounds are in that direction—and Sasuke's there. Probably training. Doubt whines out in his head and mixes with the anger and the stubborn curiosity. It gnaws at him because this could be his chance—Sasuke could clear up a few things. It didn't matter if Naruto's personal opinion of Sasuke was a bit…rude—he could go over and ask what the hell was wrong with him, doing all those things…

Naruto bounces restlessly on his toes and sucks his lower lip between his teeth.

_Or,_ he decides with a flashing grin that isn't quite nice. _I could just kick his ass._

-::-

"You set him free, I take it?"

Tsunade looks up from the pile of paperwork on her desk and rubs at her neck. "Oh. Yeah, the little shit wouldn't shut up so I let him run around. He should be back by six."

"Is that wise?" Jiraiya is perched in his customary spot near the window, one leg balanced on the sill. His bottle of sake is nestled against his stomach. Carefully, he poured out the liquid as Tsunade took her time in answering.

"Is it _wise_ to have him cooped up in here?" she said dryly. "He's driving everyone half-insane with his moodswings. It'll do him good to get out."

"If you say so," Jiraiya sniffed. "You could've waited a few days, if you ask me. He's just a kid and he doesn't know _shit_ about what's happening."

"Look, I don't feel comfortable with him out there either, but you don't have to _live_ with the brat! Believe me, it _will_ do him good." She paused and pushed aside the paperwork. "And besides, I wouldn't have let him out if I saw him dropping into another cycle—his hormones are low. He'll be _fine_."

Jiraiya tossed back a cupful of sake and grimaced. "Yeah? What if Uchiha doesn't obey your orders? What happens then?"

"Given Uchiha's record, I don't think that will happen."

"—and _I_ think that boy is unpredictable."

-::-

It's one of those rare days, Naruto thinks, because he's within twenty yards of Sasuke and his approach came unnoticed. Sasuke is deep in his training, it seems, so Naruto leans against a convenient tree and waits.

He doesn't wait long.

A final punch cracks the wood of the training log and Sasuke straightens. Naruto wants to grin and holds it far from ever surfacing. Sasuke's eyes are dark, so dark he could trip and fall forever in the coldness of them; they meet Naruto's eyes and hold him there and there is an amused little smirk on Sasuke's face.

"What is it?" Sasuke's voice is breathless from training and the ever-present emotionless tone. The anger narrows the dark eyes and Naruto thinks that Sasuke seems angry—always angry—every time they see each other.

Naruto waits on answering because his stomach is turning flips and he can't decide if he's pissed off too, or if he wants to throw back his head and scream. Or something. Anything. Because he doesn't like Sasuke. They're teammates, and rivals, and Naruto _knew_ there were worlds of potential if they kept training and didn't kill each other—

—but he doesn't _like_ Sasuke.

And Sasuke is still watching him with that goddamned smirk so Naruto rolls his eyes and scowls back. "I just came to tell you something."

"Oh?"

Naruto watches Sasuke lift the hem of his shirt and wipe his face and looks away from the stomach hiding beneath. Sasuke's eyes are dark in his head and Naruto finally takes his hands down from his head and pushes away from the tree. He doesn't speak until he gets within two feet of Sasuke. "Just to let you know, bastard. I've had enough time to think about what you did, and what you said—"

The expression on Sasuke's face never changes, but Naruto is _sure_ he sees something in his eyes, something that dances and twirls and goes _hahah__ I win_.

So Naruto finishes what he's trying to say. "—and I don't really care."

And _that_ has Sasuke's face flashing from surprise to bright rage even though Naruto can't understand why.

"You don't _care_?" Sasuke repeats quietly.

"No." Naruto spits to the side. "I don't. You know why? Because I do stupid things and what happened—I'm pretty sure it was gonna happen anyway. It had to happen. It just had to be you." Naruto lets his frustration show and flashes his own _anger_ because he's just as mad as Sasuke that it _did_ happen and he couldn't stop it. Even though Sasuke didn't seem all that upset by it back in the hospital—even if the way he showed it was fucked up, Naruto had decided that he wouldn't be bothered by it either.

"_Had_ to _happen_?" Sasuke hisses.

"Yeah. But since it was you, I don't care." And a part of him starts to laugh at the sheer fury in Sasuke's eyes and thinks _Why__ is he **mad** at me? _and Sasuke's silence burns between them. _Isn't this what he wanted?_

Finally, Sasuke opens his mouth and snarls. "You brainless, _useless_—is that all you have to tell me?"

"Pretty much."

"Then get out of my sight," Sasuke hisses. "Because you're not worth my time."

-and something clenches in Naruto's gut with a funny sort of chill but his anger swamps it down and he yells, without thinking. "Hey, I'm a part of your _team_, you jackass!" and they're nose to nose in their flashfire anger. "I can't exactly go _invisible_ around you every day!"

"I don't _care_ if you are my teammate—you're worthless and weak and you'll never be _anything_—"

"_Bastard!_" Naruto hisses between his teeth. "Stuck-up arrogant prick!"

-and his gut twists _hard_ because Sasuke's teeth are bared and he looks so _mad_ and Naruto wonders if he should stop and think about that—

_why__ oh why is he so mad I don't get it_

—but Sasuke's knuckles are digging into his chest as the boy drags him closer by his shirt, face to _face_ and Naruto's keenly away of just how _close they were_ again—

_—_Sasuke_ over-inside-against-around _him_—_

-and the tightness in his belly is too warm and he should stop to think about _that_ too, because wasn't that just like—

-but then Sasuke's snarling out something that drops cold ice down his spine, something that finishes with "—don't ever want to _see_ _you near me_—"

-and Naruto pulls back with a swinging fist and misses the smooth skin by a hair and curses the dark-haired boy. He breaks free with a jerk and stands there, shaking_—doesn't want to see me doesn't like me he **hates** me_. "Fuckin' ice-cold _bitch_—what the _fuck_ is your problem?"

"Problem? My _problem?_" Sasuke snarls and hunches his shoulders and Naruto can see the white knuckles of his fists. _"You're_ my problem! _Everything_ _about you_ is my problem and I'm sick of dealing with your stupidity! I don't want any part of it anymore!" The dark-haired boy whirls in place and stomps away as Naruto blinks in shock—only blinks, because to show any more would be inviting crueler words and feelings—so Naruto watches him as the tightness spreads through his body and Sasuke keeps going.

Keeps _going_ and all Naruto can do because he's mad and confused—weak? _Worthless_?—and _Sasuke_ had said such things and it digs deeper than anything. Digs deep and roots in his head until the indignant _I'm **worthless**_?! spews forth and Naruto growls and clenches his teeth so hard his jaw hurts. His nails are cutting into his skin and he just watches Sasuke grab at his weapons and stow them away with jerks of his hand—_He's leaving. He's really leaving_

**_Leaving_**. Without a _fight_.

And Naruto _felt_ like fighting so he hisses between his teeth again and flings a kunai into the tree, inches from Sasuke's straight little nose. "You _coward!"_ he cries.

Sasuke's body stills and he jerks his head around and his eyes are glaring coals through the flush on his pale skin.

Yeah, that seemed to work.

"You know what?" Naruto yells, pointing. "You're a spoiled bitch! All you do is whine! The minute something goes against your perfect little world you up and freak! _Fuck you_, Mr. bow-to-me Uchiha!"

-and then Sasuke almost _vanishes_ in his speed to reappear before Naruto. The blond pushes back the funny tickle in his throat and stands his ground with his fists at his side and his chin held high—and then, they're nose to nose again.

-and Sasuke's yelling. "Yeah? You apathetic _moron—_would you _care_ if it was that fat man who runs the Ichiraku? Or Sakura? _Would you care_ if you had fucked someone else?"

"_Yes_ I would have cared!!" Naruto shoves his palm against Sasuke's chest, feels his wrist sting as Sasuke just-as-violently pushes them away, and shoves at him again. "It's not the same—you're not the same thing—"

"Then why—"

"Because you're a prick! Because you're _Sasuke!_ And you're my teammate and—" Naruto sneers and grabs Sasuke's wrists to keep the other boy from hitting him. He can see that Sasuke wants to—it's in his face, his eyes, the reflexive squeezing in his hands. He has to use all of his strength just to keep the dark-haired boy from punching him. "It doesn't bother me that it was you!"

Sasuke doesn't speak and Naruto can't breathe for the thickness in his throat and the shaking in his legs and the dark-haired boy doesn't seem to _understand—_.

_What the hell?_ he thinks, bleakly. _What's **wrong**_ _with us? _

-and Sasuke still isn't talking so Naruto stares at him with his own stubborn glare and squeezes his fingers.

"_I_ _hate you_," Sasuke finally whispers—only Naruto isn't sure if Sasuke is aware that he's speaking because his eyes are queerly bright and the depth of his voice is hoarse.

"Yeah?" Naruto says without a second thought, hating the stubborn creak in his voice. "Join the rest of the fucking village, you prissy bastard!"

-::-

Tsunade is in the middle of a conference with an advisor for the business end of the village when the door slams open and she jumps. She can't help it and neither can the middle-aged man; his flinch sends his cup of tea splattering to the floor.

Naruto goes stomping by her desk and her mouth opens automatically to shout a sharp reprimand—but the _look_ on his face stops her cold and she slides into a bone-deep aggravation. _What the hell happened **this** time_?

But Naruto's clenched jaw and narrowed eyes keep her from raising questions—Naruto is already past her desk and kicking open the door to his room. It wouldn't do at all to do this in front of her business associate. She smiles weakly as the door rebounds off the wall and swings shut behind the teen.

"Don't worry…" she begins—and can't find any decent excuse. She shrugs instead and rubs at her forehead. "I'm sorry about that—we'll have to do this another time. Shizune will schedule you another appointment, if you're alright with that…?"

The man eyes the door behind her, pale and somewhat puffy, and belatedly nods. "O-Of course, Hokage-sama. Of course. If you will excuse me?"

She nods, and the man stands up as quickly as possible, and vanishes out the door.

_Well, at least he didn't break anything._ She stands from the desk and gathers her robes around her. There is no noise beyond Naruto's door, but he's there. She can feel it. She knocks quietly, and waits.

A moment later, the door cracks open enough to let Naruto mutter "…what do _you_ want?"

Tsunade almost wants to smack him. "You okay?"

The door opens a fraction wider; she can see one sullen eye peering at her. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," she criticizes. "You look like you just got pissed on—and your chakra's jumping. What'd you do?"

"I didn't do _anything_ and that fucking bastard Sasuke can rot in _hell_ for all I care!" he exclaims angrily and slams the door in her face.

"…goddamit," she spits after a moment. "I'm going to _ream_ his disobedient _bony_ little ass—" and her middle goes cold when she thinks of what _could_ have happened, and slaps her palm on the door. "_Open this door right now_!"

The door yanks open and Naruto _glares_ at her with his right hand clenched on the edge of the door. His entire body vibrates with the tension.

"Did he try anything?" is the phrase she finally pulls forth.

"—like I'm going to let him screw me!" Naruto nearly shouts, resentful, and flushes behind his anger.

Tsunade crosses her arms and narrows her eyes. "Okay." She watches the thin shoulders square and Naruto straightens. His brows are tight over his stubborn eyes. "What then?"

"I wanted to _talk_ to him," he snarls. "—that bastard—thought he _wanted_—I just wanted to talk and the fucker got mad at me! That's it, end of story. Are you done now?"

"That's _all_ that happened?" she asks again, leaning over the shorter boy. _Talk to him_, she thinks. _Naruto wanted to **talk **to him…_

"Yes!"

"Alright," she starts slowly. _Everything's gotta be fucking complicated, doesn't it? Why the hell is he trying to talk to him? _"But we're—

The door slams shut.

"—going to talk about this later."

-::-

_he__ doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't **care**_

Sasuke can't seem to catch his breath, can't seem to stop his hands from clenching and the muscles of his arms ache from the strain, but all he does is stand in front of the battered training log. Can't move. His things are scattered on the ground. Can't _move_ and he keeps thinking _he doesn't care?!_

Sasuke's so furious there are little spots on the edge of his vision. He draws a deep breath that snags somewhere in the middle and he hears a high-pitched little hissing noise—

—_I hate him he doesn't care it's not working he can't do that!—_

—_his_ noise because it's his throat that's making the noise, his guttural angry noise because Sasuke feels everything fragment under the weight that _Naruto did not care_ and all he ended up doing was looking like an idiot—

_he__ doesn't care!_

—so _stupid_ because everything had been so simple and everything was _fine_ because Naruto was that simple, that stupid, and Sasuke was sure it was going to work. It was _supposed_ to work and Naruto—

—stupid, loud-mouthed _Naruto—_

—had done the same thing as usual and did the unexpected.

_I should have **foreseen** that-I should have known, _he thinks, even though he knows better. Even though there's a tired little part that mumbles _this is a bad game_—

There's a much bigger part that capers against his waning judgment and whispers _I'm better than him. I have to be_ in the sick-sweet feeling that rises to the surface. _I can't stop this now. I can't. _

_By the end of this, I'll rub his **face** in it! _

-and Sasuke's completely fine with that, so fine that his stomach quivers in a tiny laugh. _–because if I can't beat that stupid dobe—_

_—how how can I go how can I **fight** how will I win—_

-::-

Sasuke's presence is felt from half a mile away. It grows on him, silent and stealthy, until Kakashi realizes that the boy is walking past the tree he's perched in. _Ah. So he's not just completely antisocial._

Except that Sasuke walks right by him, dark and brooding and wire-tight fury without any sign of recognition. _Did he break another log?_ Sighing, Kakashi closes his book and drops from the tree to walk up behind Sasuke. "You're late. Sakura's gone to get lunch, already—" he calls, shoving his book away. "What's up?"

Sasuke keeps on walking, hunching slightly. Kakashi can see the muscles of his arms jerk, the blood on his knuckles and the sweaty, dirty clothes. Something _had _happened. Well. Perhaps he _did_ forget. This was the way to his empty house, after all.

"Alright, alright, what'd you do?" Kakashi says, quietly, sternly, and makes the mistake of reaching out to grab Sasuke's shirt when the boy doesn't turn around.

—except that he does, really _fast_ and Kakashi's arm actually hurts from the force of Sasuke's swinging fist. The man has to grab a wrist, twisting him around and the wrist under until Sasuke makes a strangled angry-cat noise and kicks him in the shin.

_Damn the brat, I'm gonna have a bruise—_

Kakashi is forced to bend his arm into a hold and grabs the back of Sasuke's neck with his other hand. "Will you _calm down_?"

Sasuke's jaw clenches. "Let me go."

"Are you calm?"

"…_yes_," Sasuke grates, and jerks away when Kakashi loosens his grip. Sasuke rubs the back of his neck with one final glare.

"What's happened and why are you so…upset?" Kakashi drawls and crosses his arms.

"It's none of your business."

Kakashi feels like smacking him upside the head for his attitude—but a third voice speaks up behind him.

"Oh? Then maybe it's _mine_, since you've _disobeyed orders_, you little shit."

Noting the reflexive spasm of Sasuke's shoulders, Kakashi turns his head, already aware of the Hokage standing there, her arms crossed and a cold, assessing stare fixed on Sasuke. Great. He hadn't heard her approach.

_Disobeyed?What__ does she mean, **disobeyed**—oh, that little bastard—_Still, Kakashi inclines his head in respect. "Hokage-sama," he says even as he feels his stomach drop.

"Excuse me for a moment, Kakashi. I need to speak with your student." Tsunade walks past him in great strides and Kakashi has to give the boy credit for standing his ground—even if the expression on his face is strained, even if what Kakashi _thinks_ might have happened did—the boy had guts.

_Some people call that recklessness_, his mind points out.

The Hokage stops just short of knocking Sasuke over. "What happened?" she asks rather quietly.

Sasuke's hands clench and Kakashi's sure that the action is unconscious. "Nothing. He just showed up while I was training. I did _nothing_ to that idiot."

"Oh? Then what did he say?"

_Ah. So Naruto **did **seek him out._ Kakashi can feel the chakra boil just under the surface and it sinks with icy teeth into his spine; Sasuke never let his emotions get in the way and the feeling he was getting now…Kakashi watches with a worried eye as Sasuke's face pales and his eyes flash briefly into red. His clenched fists are shaking, but the boy still tries to keep whatever _had_ happened a secret.

"_Nothing_," Sasuke bites out—and both Tsunade and Kakashi can tell that he's lying.

"What did he _tell you_, brat?" Tsunade's mouth tightens. "Did he tell you what happens to him? Or did he tell you, perhaps, _why_—"

-and something seems to crack and Sasuke's voice is suddenly loud and brittle. "Tell me? Tell me _what?_ No one bothered to tell me _anything_, least of all that retard—all _he_ wanted to say was that he didn't _care_ that I fucked him!" A breath hisses in between his teeth and Kakashi's eyebrow rises in surprise at the words and concern that Sasuke was so…upset. "Didn't_ care!!__ He didn't fucking care!_"

Silence drops and Kakashi can hear the harsh inhalations Sasuke makes. He can hear the tapping of Tsunade's foot slow…then stop. _Naruto…didn't care?_

"I see," the woman says slowly, dangerously. "And then?"

"Hn. What do you care?" Sasuke hisses and turns neatly on his heel before either can stop him.

—and Kakashi doesn't really care to try at the moment. _Hmm. Interesting._ "Well," Kakashi says quietly when Sasuke was far enough way. "I wonder what _that_ means."

Tsunade turns just enough to glare at him. "It _means_ that it's all _complicated_, Kakashi, and I _hate_ complicated shit."

"…well, complicated things for complicated boys, right?"

"Oh, shut up, Kakashi."

-::-  
(eight days later)

"Are you _sure_ you'll be alright here?"

"For the last time, Tsunade-hag, I'm _fine!_ You said so yourself, right?" Naruto drops his belongings in the center of the dusty and somewhat messy room. He rolls his shoulders and looks around; he never thought he'd be glad to be back in this dingy, half-ass apartment, even though he wonders at the sudden change in plans.

"Still, Naruto—I would feel more comfortable with you nearby." Tsunade takes stock of the place with her hands on her hips.

Naruto almost grins. The mess was probably getting to her. Instead, he looks back and merely shrugs. "I'm sick of your place," he says, simply. "I promised I would stay out of trouble, didn't I?"

_She's probably just as sick of me._

"And regular visits," Tsunade reminds him. She pokes a foot at a pile of messy clothes and makes a face.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be _fine_, Tsunade-hag. Really!" Naruto walks into his small open-ended kitchen and opened the cupboards and smiles at the sight of the ramen. _What does she think I'll do—run away and jump off a bridge? _

He knows she's standing there behind him with that worried look again and the smile fades from his own. "Tsunade-hag," he says quietly and looks back over his shoulder. "I'll be okay. I've been alone before. You shouldn't worry."

There is a flicker in her eyes and she nods briefly. "I know." She takes a deep breath and looks away, back towards the door and beyond. It's early morning; she has duties to perform yet.

_Soon_, Naruto thinks. _Soon I'll be on my own, again. Sorta. _He isn't sure if he likes that. He stands there, facing the counters and listening to the robes rustle. _At least I can go and train for **real**, now…_

"There's one last thing I want to tell you before I leave," the older woman says in the silence and she pauses so long Naruto looks up with a frown—it might be something _really_ important. "Don't…push yourself, okay? You're still unstable, and I don't want anything happening to you. If you feel any changes, however insignificant, come to me right away, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Naruto replies and finds it in himself to smile over his shoulder. "Stop _worrying_—you'll get wrinkles."

-::-  
(eleven days after that)

"Are you okay?"

Naruto opens his eyes into the steel-blue of the sky and winces. There is a dull ache from his hair, all down to the dirt on his _shoes_ and he has never been so glad to feel the brisk wind coming over the forest.

"Naruto?"

The blond turns his head with the grass poking his cheek and Sakura looks back with such concern it's awkward in his chest. _Why is she worried_? he thinks. _Oh…yeah. I almost passed out._ He draws a breath and sits up and regrets it, immediately, because his head swims. He presses his fingers to his temple. "Guh."

"You don't look good—maybe your body isn't recovered—" the girl asks. "Should I get Kakashi-sensei?"

"No, I'm fine!" Naruto insists. "It's nothing I haven't done before—"

_—and I nearly passed out **cold**, _a voice retorts._ There's something wrong._

Sakura ends up helping Naruto stand and continues to watch him nervously. She's the only other person within sight and she's never quite behaved the same around him, as if his absence has changed him—well, it has, except that no one really _notices _what's been going on. As for Sasuke…The only information about the bastard was that Sasuke had independent missions for a while. It was easy for Naruto to assume that Sasuke was just avoiding everything anyway.

But this…even training on his own with Sakura…It troubles him that his body isn't going back to normal.

_It's getting worse._

Except, Naruto isn't sure what's getting worse. His body feels normal. _He_ feels normal, except that his chakra is still low and he can't quite perform at the level he _should be at_, and he doesn't know _why_ it's happening.

"—quits, Naruto?"

"Huh?" he jerks his head around—ugh, so _dizzy_—and blinks his blue eyes in her direction.

"I said, should we call it quits?" Sakura twines her fingers together and bounces on her feet. Her dress is barely dirty and she's barely sweating after what felt like _hard_ training. Naruto almost feels annoyed, but remembers that he isn't exactly normal. "Hey…you aren't getting sick again, are you?"

Naruto grimaces just a tiny bit and laces the hands behind his head, pulling at exertion-tightened muscles. "No, but you're probably right. I just need some sleep, or something. Ooh, maybe they have chicken-ramen at the stand—"

Sakura laughs and Naruto still thinks it's the sweetest laugh he's ever heard. There's a tug of melancholy at his heart that he even _thinks_ that, that part of him wonders if—

No. He wouldn't even _bother_ to wonder what Sasuke's natural laugh would sound like. He would _not_.

In the midst of his flash of anger, Sakura starts to speak again and his distraction ends. "Okay, then. I'll go and find Kakashi and let him know we're done. Don't forget, we don't meet for three days!"

"Yeah, yeah!" the blond waves as she starts to step backward. "Later!"

-::-

"Oiy!" came a cheerful voice and Naruto looks up from his second bowl of ramen, mouth full and noodles dangling. Kakashi's arm is up in salutation and the blond can see the impression of his smile. He sucks in the last of his noodles, swallowing.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei! What's up? Hey—is there a mission!?"

"Nope, no mission. Sakura said you'd be here," Kakashi explains. He pulls out the stool next to Naruto and sits his lanky form down. "Are you okay?"

_Oh. It's about **that**. _"Yeah…I just got tired," Naruto replies casually and waves his chopsticks for emphasis.

"Does it happen often?"

"Not really," Naruto sloshes the liquid of his bowl around and shrugs. "The hag says my body is still adjusting or something, so I'm not worried."

_Liar_, a voice whispers. _—liar liar liar—_

The look on Kakashi's face is amused and the man throws in the low-blow. "Hmm…does Tsunade-sama know that your chakra is steadily decreasing?"

_God he noticed-aw **shit **he noticed—_Naruto finds the remaining contents of his ramen bowl more interesting and waits a moment before daring to speak. "I haven't told her yet." Kakashi's sigh speaks more and cuts deeper than Naruto expects and the blond flinches slightly. "It's not a big deal!" he insists. "Really! I'm just…it's just…"

_It's just that I don't know what's happening to me—_ he wants to say. –_and I don't want to know._

"I want you to go and talk to her, okay?" Kakashi presses a hand onto Naruto's shoulder and squeezes. "I want you to get better and at this rate you won't have enough energy to move or _stand_, unless she finds something to do about it."

Naruto can't fathom not having enough energy to move—_maybe it's like the exhaustion after a tough training session where everything's numb_—but it's something he's never had to deal with on a long-term level. The prospect is insanely scary. Not enough energy to _move_—

Naruto shudders. "Yeah," he says. "I will."

-::-  
(the day after)

Tsunade knocks loudly on his door at nine in the morning. When Naruto—who was still sleeping—doesn't answer, she twists the knob and opens the door with a well-place elbow. "Good god, what a mess," she mutters. "Oiy! Hey, you ungrateful shit, are you here?"

The door to the small bedroom creaks and she stands with her hands on her hips as Naruto comes into view, yawning.

"Tsu-Tsunade-hag?" the blond rubs at his eyes and cheeks, hair and old, threadbare pajamas wrinkled. "Naaw—wha d'you wahant?"

"Well," she avoids the clutter and old cups and clothing on the floor as she walks over to him, debates between pinching his cheeks and smacking him upside the head—and goes with the second.

"Ow! Hey! What the fuck?"

She smiles sweetly and pushes carefully at his head. "That's for not telling me about your chakra, you brat."

Naruto makes a whining sound and tugs at his hair. "You didn't have to _hit _me." The face he makes is horrible.

"Yes I did. Now tell me what's going on, or do I have to tie you up and find out for myself?"

"…but it's _early_. It's not even ten!" the blond whines. "—and I was gonna see you today anyway—hey! How the hell did you know, anyway!"

"Kakashi told me."

"oh…that jerk."

"Well?"

Naruto shrugs and gives her one of those little looks that gives away _all_ the irritation he must be feeling. "I'm just using up more chakra than I can replace," he explains. "That's what it feels like, anyway. You said that my body was strained, right? Going through that weird…um…hormonal thing…so, I'm just not recovering as fast. That's all."

Tsunade gives him a look of her own and exhales. "And my _sources_ tell me that you've been sleeping a lot more than usual. You should be able to replace the chakra with no problem, not continually lose it on a daily basis."

Naruto's mouth opens and shuts as he stands there. It seems he can't find a decent excuse—although, she has to give him credit for being at least _partially_ correct. By training and whatever else he was doing, his chakra was depleted faster than it could be replaced. Perhaps that _was_ all.

_Or, perhaps there's something else. _Tsunade hums under her breath and taps a painted nail against her chin. She can see his chakra without exerting herself, and it _was _low, but perhaps…_Perhaps it's only a side effect and that he needs more rest. His changing sleeping pattern is an indication that he's not getting enough—_

"Can I go back to bed?" Naruto asks when she doesn't speak for a moment.

"…In a bit. Come here." For once he obeys without balking or throwing a fit, and she's grateful. She pushes her fingers to his temples and extends a bit of her own awareness, skimming quickly down his major and minor chakra points, checking and rechecking the seal to make sure the outflux of demon chakra is still normal—and everything appears to be fine. Everything appears just as normal as any other day, except that the chakra was lower.

_His chakra feels like he's **not **getting enough… even with all the sleep he's gotten. That seems normal enough after a stressful experience…but I wonder if I'm missing something…_

"Tsunade-hag?"

"Well, _maybe_ you're right," she concedes. "But that doesn't mean it's okay. No more stressful training. Practice your genjutsu or control or something until your body is back to top form."

As expected, that doesn't leave Naruto very happy with her. His jaw drops open and she has no doubt he's fully awake now as he screeches "_What_? No _training_? Come on—you're kidding right?"

"Nope!" she smiles one of her brightest smiles and flicks him on the nose and turns to leave. "You can go back to bed now."

"You're such a bitch!"

"Hah, whatever, you little shit. I'm also your _Hokage_, so don't push your luck." Tsunade calls from beyond the doorway. "And clean up your apartment!"

_Strange, _Tsunade thinks, staring for a moment at the closed door. _Very strange, that his body had been so regular in the cycles for three or four months before the…incident._ _Now it's unpredictable. _She finds it even stranger, as she leaves the hallway, that his body had fallen so abruptly out of balance. Even though all his signs had pointed towards simple exhaustion, it was becoming so much more.

-::-  
(three days later)

Sasuke hasn't given himself much time to even think in the last month by picking up any mission he can accomplish. He doesn't _want_ to think. It bothers him to think.

It bothers him that he doesn't want to think, but he shoves the thought aside and continues walking. Today there is nothing available, so he's stuck merely wandering the streets because he hates going home and he hates having nothing to do. He can't even spar, now, without getting so furious his hands ache and bleed before he even attempts to stop.

_It's all his fault. All of it. Everything is always because of him—_ and that kind of thing he can't help thinking about. It burns brighter in his head than anything else, even though he doesn't _dare_ give it a name.

_I don't care_, except that it still niggles in his head—and all he's left with is half-attempted thoughts on how it could still work, how he could _still _hurt him if he had half a chance…

But then, he'd have to be able to get _near_ him, and he really doesn't want to. Ever. Because he doesn't care, and he's not about to go back on his word and it's easier to tell himself that he doesn't want any part of it, and stop _thinking_.

"Sasuke! I'm so glad I found you—"

Except now he has something else to not think about when Sakura appears at his side—absently, he notes that she had been coming up from behind for some time, now—he just wasn't aware of it. She latches onto his arm and ignores the automatic half-shake of his shoulder.

"—where have you been? I've been so worried—"

"I've been _busy_," he snaps. "What do you want?"

"Come on, don't be mad at me—what have you been doing, hiding under a rock? Naruto's really sick! Kakashi-sensei is really worried, too, and the Hokage hasn't left his apartment—"

"…so what?"

"Sasuke!" the girl says, apparently shocked at his dismissal. "He's been out of it for three days! Kakashi-sensei said his body is strained and I could tell, you know, when we were training last week that he was sick—"

—_three days_, whispers in Sasuke's head. _He's been out of it for three days._

_I need to pay more attention,_ comes the irritated thought._ Because stuff happens and I don't even get to **know**…_Sasuke shakes his shoulder in one last attempt to remove her, and sighs. He has to give her credit, at least, for being truly concerned for the idiot of their team. "Sakura—_Sakura_—" he forces out and she stops long enough to look up at him. Something rolls over delightedly—he can't help thinking, _What would she do, if she knew whatI did? _and he can't help asking, "What's going on?"

-::-

Tsunade is there when he wakes, hanging over him in his blurry vision and he doesn't understand it. Her face is pale and worried, even though her eyes hold relief when Naruto blinks up at her. He feels ungodly tired and lets himself wish for a few extra hours of sleep…but Tsunade is _right there_ and that's something of itself.

"Tsunade-hag?" he croaks. "Wha…?"

She exhales and smiles briefly. "How do you feel?" is the first thing she asks. "What day is it?"

_What day is it?_ he thinks, kicking at the covers because he's really warm. "Nugh. Tired. And it's Tuesday…" except that he knows that it isn't and thinks _–with a question like that—it's never the day you think it is._

And he's right.

"It's Friday, Naruto. You've been out cold for three days."

_Three…days?__ Three **days**!?_ and panic kicks him in the gut and he sits up as fast as he can, exploding, "What do you mean, _three days_!? What the fuck is wrong with me?!"

"Naruto, calm down."

He looks up at her with his face gone wild and his hands ripping at the blanket—calm down, she says, as if it's _easy_ to do and can't stop the words from tumbling free. "What's wrong with me? What's happening to me!? _Why_ is this happening to me?" and his heart is thumping so hard he feels dizzy and small and scared—he hates feeling scared and starts to shake.

"Hey, you stupid brat, calm _down _and I'll be able to tell you," she snaps, and grabs his hands to keep him from ripping the fabric. "Now take a deep breath and hold it."

Naruto inhales so deeply his vision grows spots on the edge and his chest hurts to hold it in. But he does, and after he exhales slowly, he feels marginally better. Calmer. _I'm dying,_ comes the irrational thought in the back of his head. _I'm not even sixteen and I'm dying because I sleep too much—_then he's distracted by the words the woman is speaking.

"Okay. It's nothing serious, okay? You just overexerted yourself, somehow, and your body went into an automatic standby to conserver energy. Can you tell me what you were doing before you went to sleep?"

"I was only doing exercises like you said! Practice stuff. Then it got late and I got tired…What's going on?" Automatically, his hand clutches at his chest.

"…I was wrong," the Hokage says, slowly. "About your chakra. I can't pinpoint the cause of your exhaustion. All I've been able to determine is that your body—your chakra, and the demon's chakra—are starting to blur. It started in puberty, which was the cause of your cycle—"

"Because of the demon?" Naruto dares to whisper and feels nothing but disgusted hate that it was the _demon_, the damn _demon _in his body that made him sick because he can't _fight_ something like that, can't even _win _against something like that—

"The seal on your stomach is designed to allow minimal amounts of the Kyubi's chakra into your body. There are side effects to such things, so yes. The demon is the reason you heal so quickly. It's also responsible for your stamina…as well as your cycle and quite possibly the lack of chakra."

"Oh," he says, numb all over, and he's cold and warm at the same time and wants nothing more than to go back to sleep. "So what do I do?"

"There's nothing that we _can_ do but wait it out and see."

_Wait it out. I've got to wait. _Out of habit, Naruto looks out of the window near his bed and into the sky beyond and merely…lets himself go blank as all of the thoughts and worries and anger flushes through his head. _I'm probably stuck in this apartment now—I can't go **anywhere** like this—not if I pass out every fucking second—_

_I can't stand this. What am I supposed to do?_ he thinks and hates the fact that there's nothing—absolutely _nothing_—that he can do. He can't even blame it on Sasuke, like he wants to, like he thinks he _should_ because maybe Sasuke _did_ want to do…stuff…but the asshole was so…he was so…

_I'm stuck here_, Naruto thinks bleakly. _And he thinks…I'm not good enough…even if we did have sex…I'm not good enough. _

-::-

"How is he doing?"

Tsunade stands in the hallway outside of Naruto's door and looks at Kakashi, weary to the bone. "He's awake. His chakra's still low. I'm going to put him on house-arrest until I figure out how to stabilize his chakra."

"And then?"

"I don't know," the woman replies. "I have no idea. I think there's more affecting him, than just his body. I think there's something wrong he's not telling us, and that could be a reason, too. I just…I can't get him to open up, Kakashi."

"Do you think…" Kakashi begins, hesitant, then takes a breath. "Perhaps Sasuke has something to do with it—"

Despite the irritation she feels at the mention of the other brat, she has to stop and think. It's entirely possible. It's _too_ possible that Sasuke has a negative effect on Naruto and she hates the thought because she wants nothing of the sort to happen. But she sighs, and straightens to brush back the hair in her face.

Finally she whispers "That remains to be seen."

(tbc)

AN: Well…dammit. I wanted a lot more in this chapter, but then it would have ended up being…..uber long. Really really long. And, since I wanted to post _something_…I ended it there. The next half…is sort of the beginning of the end. But not really, because I've got at least…oh…4, 5, 6, and a possibly 7 chapters to work out, yet.

And since I'm trying to keep both Sasuke and Naruto in character as well, it means I have to read and re-read everything make sure it fits. Especially later, cuz you guys…might…freak…

But yeah. next chapter shouldn't be too long. I have no school left—wish I didn't have to work, so that cuts back on time—but yeah. It should also include…um…more stuff. Like sex, where Naruto's actually _around_ for it.XD.


	4. four

**:Warning/Disclaimer:  
**The characters don't belong to me, but the plot and the story do. There will be lots of sex, swearing, and abuse.  
**_Rated R for a reason, people!_**_ **Read accordingly  
**_HEY!This chapter contains violence and disturbing…stuff, like psuedo-rape stuff, but it's not…really bad. (Sasuke's just messed up.) It's just…um, rough? Well, you've been warned.  
If there's a problem…well, goodbye and have fun finding this fic elsewhere.  
Anyway, Sasuke's not a happy camper, and Naruto's…not normal anyway, so I've thrown them together, dashed in some angst and wrote this up.  
They've got all current attacks and issues, except that Sasuke is still angsty and he doesn't run off. He just broods. A lot. Yes, much brooding, move along now.

So, on the grounds of _yaoi_, I give you this dark, unhappy (kinda) lovestory.

:Part 4:  
(…it's been thirteen days…)

"Sasuke said you didn't care."

Naruto freezes in place and can't help the shiver -on his spine. _Sasuke__…what? He said…what?_ His fingers jerk over the kunai tumbling lazily in his fingers and he almost slices off his skin. He doesn't dare look over at Kakashi—it's bad enough the man is gathering his dirty laundry—but this…where did _this_ come from? He hasn't even _seen_ Sasuke since that stupid day in the training grounds—

"Is that true?"

Naruto scowls and flings the kunai into the wall. "I _don't_ care. That we…you know."

"Ah," Kakashi murmurs. "So you don't care about him?"

"I didn't say that!" Naruto snaps. "I just—it didn't bother Sasuke, did it? So I said it didn't bother me but it didn't do any good. He still hates me!"

"Hmmm," Kakashi goes and Naruto eyes him darkly with a wish that he hadn't thrown the kunai into the wall. "Is there anything else you want to talk about, Naruto?"

"No." Naruto mutters because Kakashi is _really_ saying, _'Is__ there anything else about Sasuke, Naruto?'_ so he gives one of his fiercest glares—even though he's not really mad, he just doesn't want to talk about it. So instead he says, "Are you done yet? I'm hungry—don't you have to get me food, too?"

"Ah, yes, I suppose…"

-:-

Sasuke can't stand it. He's thinking about it too much. Nearly two weeks and all he knows is that Naruto's _sick. _It should be painful, this amusement that Naruto is sickThat Naruto couldn't get out of bed. That Naruto couldn't even _train _and Sasuke almost wants to be worried at that.

Almost, but not quite because something still stings at the mere thought of Naruto. Thinking this much on the subject of Naruto should bother him more than it does, like it did the weeks before when it _was_ painful to think of him—

_—sick-sick-he's sick—_

—even though it still _bothers_ him that Naruto probably doesn't care yet. He won't care; he's too stubborn. Sasuke _knows_ this because he knows how Naruto works and—_he_ _didn't care_.

And, oh how _it_ _burns _at him even as he is distinctly aware of Sakura's claim of Naruto being _sick_ and Sasuke wants to laugh.

Instead, he keeps walking because today was another day of training and pushes the thoughts from his head. It wouldn't do to keep thinking of it (even though he does) because Naruto, sick bedridden _Naruto_ is strictly off limits. Not even Sakura is allowed to visit and Sasuke knows exactly why the Hokage would never let him be around Naruto.

So he keeps walking and swallows his anger and holds tight onto his patience; he couldn't do anything else yet. Not yet.

_—just wait. Just wait, dobe just wait because you can't be sick forever—_

-:-  
(…adding on thirty-six days…)

After everything that's happened, Naruto finds himself almost used to the idea that he isn't allowed to leave his apartment. It hadn't bothered him very much after the first week—even though it had cost him two chairs and three replaced windows after finding out that he was 'safer' inside—it doesn't bother him.

So he sits sprawled out on his couch in three-day old clothing. He can't seem to find the energy to get up, wonders briefly if this was what Kakashi had warned him about, this lackluster to life, and merely sniffs in annoyance. He's tired, but it's an all-over body ache that he's used to now because everything makes him tired. He's _always_ tired and the last month he's spent at least half of it out cold.

He's never been so bored in his life, but to keep himself from walking back down the broken-glass avenue of hurt in his head—

(where _Sasuke _is)

—Naruto watches the sky through the narrow living-room window. He wonders what time exactly Kakashi would stop by to drop off the various food-stuffs and/or to pick up the dirty clothes Naruto never cleans. Or maybe Tsunade-hag would visit, and tell him useless stuff again...but he doesn't think she will.

So instead he wonders about Kakashi or the way the sunlight brings the dustmotes into life. His window is cracked enough to let fresh air in; sometimes he stands before it and lets the air touch him, but this time he stays in place and his thoughts cycle back—Kakashi should be here anytime, now, with food and clothes and maybe a scroll to study.

_I want to be outside._

He wonders if today would be the day Kakashi would surprise him with questions, like on the first horrible day…but he doesn't think it'll happen.

_I want to be training._

Some part of Naruto feels that he should be embarassed that Kakashi was doing his laundry, buying food and generally playing housewife to him...

_…but I'm worthless…_

But he doesn't; the rest of him is too caught up in his anxious, sick-feeling world to pay attention to the rest of life.

_...there's something **wrong** with me. _

_Wrong—wrong wrong **wrong** _and Naruto almost wishes Kakashi would ask again, just so he could finally _say_ there was something wrong, maybe even _talk_ about it…but he doesn't want to, all the same. It still hurts too much because it isn't just about him, this hurt that goes deeper than anything before and it makes it worse because he can't get past it.

It echoes through Naruto's head like dirty laughter, like clawing hands and biting mouths, following him until he closes his eyes and his body drags him back into the sleeping.

_-_:_-_

Sakura is sprawled out as prettily as she can manage on the dusty, ripped-up grass. Their sparring sessions have gotten better once Sasuke had decided that it was easier to train and keep her quiet than have her hanging on his arm all day.

_It's easier to kick her ass than his—_

No. Sliding the door on that thought. No. Sasuke is distinctly aware of Kakashi nearby but can't see the man. He can't bring himself to really care, and now he's almost fifty yards away and kicking relentlessly at the battered tree. Fragments of wood and bark litter the ground and he makes it a practice to use sweeps of his chakra to send them flinging away.

Over a month and a half and his chakra control has gotten much _much_ finer and a part of him twists eagerly in the need to show off this control—it's been _month__s_ without a competent partner, _month__s_ with constant, mind-blanking exercises and bruised muscles and skin and bleeding—

_Seventy__-two days, _he thinks and can't stop the thought from completion. Seventy-two days of sheer anger. Frustration. Cycles of hate into destructiveness into a stubborn _never think of that bastard **again** _while his body flows from stance to stance—

_It's been **seventy-**_**_two_**_ **days** since he didn't care, _the little voice reminds Sasuke, and the shuriken he's reaching for cuts him on the tip of his finger and he won't let it go.

_...and one hundred and four__ since you chased him down and pushed him down and **didn't it feel good **_the little voice reminds him and blood drips off his finger but he throws the weapon anyway.

Sasuke doesn't want to _think _of the idiot but he refuses to let it go.

Gritting his teeth and feeling the sting from cracked, dry lips, Sasuke twists his body over and down and spins on his hands, kicking out. The force of the momentum in his leg snaps through the aged wood and splinters it; he rebounds away and crouches to absorb the impact of the ground and his gaze flies back to the tree—for a moment, he hears his own laughter mocking him—but there is no real visible damage aside from the shattered outside.

Something whispers _there's still a chance _and Sasuke lets his legs give way and sprawls backward. He stares at the sky because he is too tired to turn his head and all he can see is blue.

_—still—I can still—  
__ (see blue)  
__—play it further. It isn't over._

_...seventy-__two days_ Sasuke closes his eyes against the color of the sky and swallows back bitterness and tries to keep himself breathing instead of screaming and the dirt is hard beneath his nails. ..._and I still don't know anything_—is all that floats through his head before a shadow falls across his face.

"Sasuke?"

Opening black eyes into too-soft green, the Uchiha slides his gaze back into the sky. "What is it?" he rasps. She looks too happy to be training and he hates it because that look means something's up and he won't like it.

"Guess what! Kakashi said we could come with him to visit Naruto, today!" she smiles at him and Sasuke's insides clench in response. He blinks at her. Visit...They could visit...He could—

—it isn't—

"He has to drop some things off, you see, and he said that he'll need our help carrying it! Come on, what are you, a plant? Get up!"

Absently, he takes the offered hand and allows the girl to pull him to his feet and tries to stop from swaying and swallows back the excitement. It mixes with the bitterness enough to let him take a few steps so he pulls his hand out of Sakura's grip and lets the corner of his mouth twitch into a smile.

—because it isn't _over_.

_-_:_-_

"—sleeping on the couch when I arrived and I didn't want to disturb him. You're late, by the way," is the first strained mutter that Sasuke hears from his Hokage.

_...sleeping? _Sasuke feels vague disappointment and refuses to acknowledge it._ He's sleeping—_

"He's sleeping, is he? Well, training went a bit late, you see—" Kakashi stalls, moving forward and then Sasuke's moving forward; Sakura's already slipped into the apartment—he can see the door, the Hokage and her confused expression at Sakura's presence, the glimpse of the bare room behind her—

He shudders just a tiny bit with the memory of a heavy palm even though he knows she can't see him from where she stands. He gleans a bit of selfish amusement by knowing she won't be happy at _all_ to see him there.

—but now Tsunade _can_ see him and Sasuke forces his face into neutral and watches her face go from puzzled to downright furious.

"What the hell are you trying to do, Kakashi?" the woman hisses, one hand cracking out onto the jamb of the door to prevent him entry. Her words are directed at Kakashi, but her gaze is focused only on Sasuke and it takes everything he can just to keep his back straight.

"Do?" Kakashi replies mildly. "They're helping me deliver Naruto's stuff, and they get to visit. Well, not really since he's sleeping, but you get the point. They _are_ a team—"

"I don't care!" Tsunade snaps. "I am not going to make things _worse_—"

"Tsunade-sama," Kakashi speaks quietly before she can raise her hand to strike him—Sasuke can seeshe wants to; he knows it's there in her head—and Kakashi pauses long enough to inhale and finally whispers so quietly that Sasuke has to strain all of his concentration to catch some of the words "...he isn't improving. Maybe—"

The woman's dark stare slides to the taller man and they both stop speaking and Sasuke gets the distinct impression there is a world of words going between them. Part of him wonders in horror—

—_not improving? As in, he's getting worse? What the hell does 'Maybe' have to do with it?—_

_—_before the better part of his mind takes control again and he sneers at the insult of _not knowing_ **_anything_** and listens harder when Kakashi mutters something else.

"...sleeping...won't wake up...nothing will...a harmless visit, Tsunade-sama."

Sasuke wants to think on just what Kakashi could mean, wants to store the words tight in his mind to analyze later, but the moment the woman's protective, warning glare slides in his direction, his first instinct is to straighten and scowl back. _She won't let me in_, he thinks. _She won't I won't have a chance—_and plastic crinkles between his fingers.

Somewhere, Sasuke hears the horrified squawk of "...doesn't he ever _clean!_" that Sakura lets out.

With one last glance to Kakashi, the Hokage leans forward and gets into his face and Sasuke has to lock his legs to stay there, to keep from backing down. So close and she whispers to him, "If you in any way compromise my situation, Uchiha..."

It's easy enough to imagine the threat so Sasuke doesn't let the nasty words out of his mouth and merely nods in minimal deference. The Hokage steps back, crossing her arms but Sasuke's moving past her so quickly he doesn't catch the glance that goes back to Kakashi.

The first impression, once he manages to stop the thoughts from spiralling deeper, is that the apartment is definately Naruto. He doesn't know how, or why. There are small clues like the stockpile of kunai half-hidden on a shelf, the scrolls, the dusty Kakashi doll kicked in the corner…and…

This was Naruto's apartment. Filthy and sour-smelling, it was Naruto's apartment. It was smaller than expected, ill-kept and plain and Sasuke thinks over everything _mine is better_ without even realizing it.

...but it was still Naruto's apartment—and—and Naruto was supposed to be sleeping on the couch, right? Unable to wake?

Something twists inside him because the couch is only a few feet away and Naruto _is_ on the couch. A small, curled-up Naruto ball under a blanket that Sasuke's sure the Hokage had placed there. Naruto. After seventy-two _days_ his first sight is the curve of one whiskered cheek and a bare, outstretched arm.

Sasuke wants to stop and push him off the couch—_stupid weak **worthless** dobe, _he thinks—wants to do _something _but he doesn't know what and he can't stop; it'd look too strange. Sasuke forces his legs to move, thinking of the bag in his hands. He turns towards the small open-sided kitchen and drops the bags onto the counter and ignores the thud-thump in his middle.

_—seventy-two_ **_days_** wisps through his head right above the _walk right back over there and **hurt **you—_

Sasuke focuses on the sound of the door shutting. Kakashi must have left, although Sasuke isn't sure _why_. But it doesn't matter. From the corner of his eye, Sasuke watches the woman slide one last, angry glance in his general direction and hates the look on her face. Hates it. Absolutely _hates_ it because it means that he's not ever going to get past that.

_-better I'm better-_

But she's still watching him and Sasuke suspects she'll watch him allthe goddamn time if she had her way; he gives himself the mild comfort that it probably pisses her off to have him here where her precious, stupid Naruto is. There's an even deeper, darker thought on the fact that Naruto is so weak weak _weak_and unable to maintain a basic chakra level. Weak enough to fall into a trap or a jutsu or anything that causes such a thing.

_-better than you-_

A part of him wishes that Tsunade wasn't even around so Sasuke could have fun by rubbing Naruto's face in his illness—wrong or right, it gnaws tightly into his gut until all he wants to do is turn around, point, and laugh.

Or more because he knows that Naruto couldn't even _stop_ him and it would end up hurting his stupid, oversized ego…

Instead, Sasuke yanks open a drawer and dumps out the cheap, freeze-dried noodles and seasoning kind of ramen—he dumps them right onto the small assortment of utensils. _Hah_, he thinks all petty and childish with the absurdity of it and shuts the drawer, ramen and all. _Have fun finding this stupid shit_. Because he doesn't care one bit if it's in the wrong place or not.

Not one damn bit.

-:-

Kakashi arrives only five minutes late to the small, seedy bar, which is a feat in itself considering the his reputation. The minute he steps through the door, Jiraiya waves him to a seat and pours himself a second drink. Kakashi pauses to glance at Jiraiya and shrugs. "You requested my presence?" Kakashi drawls after a nod.

"I did. Sit, if you would." Jiraiya leans on an elbow and tosses back the sake. "...about the situation with Naruto."

"Oh?" Kakashi prompts when it's clear he's not ready to finish the sentance, and quickly finds out _why_ he seems distasteful of the matter.

"I want to know what you think about Uchiha. And Naruto. And…everything else."

"…am I allowed to discuss this with you?" Kakashi lifts his own sake dish and sips deeply. "I don't want to compromise anything."

"The great _Hokage_ and I are the only ones who really know what's going on with Naruto. Tsunade's the one who decided to keep most of it a secret," Jiraiya points out. "If anything, we should be discussing what this means with that stupid Uchiha brat who screwed him."

"…you think Sasuke should know?" Kakashi muses.

"You don't?" Jiraiya fixes a glare on Kakashi and the man remembers that _this_ dirty old geezer had taught the one who taught _him_ and shivers, just a bit. "That _brat_ is unstable and so is the bitchy little Uchiha boy. They fucked, they fought, Tsunade's got a nail up her ass on keeping them apart, and how are they now, huh?"

Kakashi has to admit the old man has a point, smiles, and swallows his sake. "Well, he'_s_ visiting Naruto today. Maybe something will happen."

"Probably," Jiraiya sucks on one sake-splashed finger. "Oh, by the way, you have a mission coming up," and there's a sly smile on that bland, wrinkled face. "You'll need to find a replacement in five hours."

-:-

Two hours later Kakashi _still_ isn't back and Sasuke can tell that even the Hokage is annoyed. He makes sure to stay as far away as possible—even though it brings him almost too close to where Naruto's sleeping—

…_close-so close-close enough to touch—_he makes sure to keep the woman farther, because it's likely she'll take it out on him and he already knows just how creepy-strong she is.

But Sasuke can see Naruto's face or at least part of it and shudders. His fingers are itching and there's a funny sort of numbness just on the edge of his neck and he—can't even stop the urge—he just wants to go over to Naruto and…something.

He's only four or five feet or so away. _Anything_ will do—

—but Sasuke prefers something violent and painful—

_…hate you. hate you-hate you-**hate**** you**_ something cries out in his middle, bright and familiar. He buries himself in it to give himself patience even though the need to hurt that stupid dobe is almost stronger than his control; the need is the thought that he keeps it all in line.

So he stands there, ignoring the nearness of Sakura to lean on the wall and stare stubbornly at the clock that's thirty-eight minutes behind. He stares at it and nothing else because the Hokage is watching him even as she folds up clothing and stores it away.

In fact, the room has fallen into a deceptive, peaceful quiet that has Sasuke's skin tingling on the edges. It's quiet, very quiet and she's _watching_ him with that horrible, speculative look. He hates that look almost more than the revulsion he normally sees in her eyes. _Hates_ it and it only gets worse every time he sees it on the face of someone who _knows_ about him, knows about everything—

"—Sasuke?" and Sakura's there somehow in his face again and he wishes she would just vanish. He barely keeps from flinching when she leans in to whisper at him. "Is…there anything wrong? You've been quiet the entire time we've been here—you didn't do anything wrong, did you?"

"Why?" Sasuke mutters with his eyes turned elsewhere and thinks _seventy-two days—only four **feet—**_

"Because, I…um, well. It just, ah, seems that…" and she pauses so long that Sasuke finally turns a furious little glare at her and waits; inside, he can't feel anything but tired through his body and wonders when he started feeling the numb, hollow weariness. _I was barely winded_, he thinks. _I have no reason to feel tired. _

"Did you and Naruto have a fight?"

The thoughts of being tired flicker away. Pausing ever so carefully, Sasuke shifts his arms in disdain and mutters without even looking, "What are you talking about?"

"Did you?" Sakura insists. "I mean, all you guys ever _do_ is fight, but…you keep watching him and Tsunade-sama is watching _you_ and she seems mad at you."

She's worried, Sasuke realizes, staring down at her. She's noticed and she's _worried_ and—and it's over Naruto. Over him. Over the _both_ of them and it isn't any of her business. It's not. And then he's so blindly angry that she's hit so close to the mark and what if the Hokage hears such stupid words? He doesn't even know if he can manage to find the strength to acknowledge such—such—

_—I was **watching **him! _

"S-Sasuke, don't look at me like that," the girl speaks softly and twines her fingers. "I'm just worried about you—"

"I don't need your worry!" Sasuke hisses through his teeth. "—I don't need _anything_ from you so stay the hell away from me!"

"Sa-Sasuke…"

God she's going to cry and Sasuke hates the thought and the sickness of it is thick in his throat. Exhausted to the point of sheer cruelty, he stares at Sakura as her back straightens and her mouth trembles and almost daresher to cry. The tears are there in her eyes and she's shaking from the hurt that Sasuke is spreading. He dares her—and she hunches to avoid it and can't; her gaze drops and Sasuke lets himself huff in annoyance.

"…asshole," comes a mumble and Sakura gasps and Sasuke whips his head up. _Did she just—_

No, she wouldn't—she wasn't even _looking_ at him.

"…always—" comes through the sound of a yawn. "Always an asshole."

Then Naruto is half-upright, rubbing at his eyes and glaring at them through the sleepiness imprinted on his face. "Whuaah," he yawns again. "Wha're you guys doin' here?"

Sasuke can't avoid his eyes—they're bluer then he remembered—and stares as Naruto frowns in his half-unconscious way. Naruto wasn't supposed to be awake; the Hokage had _said_ so.

But he was.

_…his shirt is too big for him_, Sasuke thinks inanely and can't tear his eyes away and flinches when Sakura wheezes in shock again.

"Tsunade-sama!" she finally shouts. "_Tsunade-sama__!"_

Sasuke wants to laugh when Naruto's face turns confused and panicked, even though he's just as surprised.

"Stop yelling, Sakura, I'm right here." the Hokage is calling over an armload of bedsheets. She must have been in the bedroom; Sasuke hadn't even noticed when she left. "What's the problem—It's not the roaches again, is it? I know I got rid of all of them—"

"Tsunade-sama, Naruto is—he's—" and Sakura is shaking so bad that she resorts to pointing to where the tousled blond head is visible over the back of the couch.

"Hey! What's going on!" Naruto yelps. "Why are you guys here? Stop staring at me, you bastard!"

"_Naruto_?" the Hokage gasps and Sasuke tears his eyes away just in time to see the bedsheets whumping to the floor and the woman gawking at the three of them. Naruto is looking back and forth with the expression of the fatally confused and Sasuke isn't sure when he started smirking. He's too tired to care and leans his head against the wall to keep his head from turning.

"Tell me what's going on!" Naruto drags the blanket closer around his shoulders. "Did I fall asleep for a _week_ this time? What is it? What? _What_!"

"Naruto," Tsunade exhales and Sasuke wonders if she's in shock. "It's still _Friday_."

"Eh?"

"You weren't supposed to wake up!" she tells him and then she's finally moving towards the blond. "You fell asleep _today_, Naruto! Today!" and she sits on the couch with the puzzlement written all over her.

"What? What do you mean, _today_?" Naruto's voice is oddly shrill when the Hokage takes his wrists, then his head between her palms. "Dammit you old hag, what's going on and how come they'rehere!"

"Be quiet," the woman snaps and Naruto's mouth shuts with a click and Sasuke wants to _laugh_ at the paleness spreading across his skin. They've forgotten that he was there or they're ignoring him but he doesn't care.

_This wasn't supposed to happen, _Sasuke thinks, mind reeling. _But_ _this will do._

-:-

This is a bad thing. This has to be a bad thing—Naruto knows it's a bad thing. If it wasn't they wouldn't _be_ here and he'd probably still be sleeping—but sleeping was bad too, wasn't it? A part of him thinks _I'm dreaming. I have to be dreaming._

But it's not a dream.

He's not asleep.

"…is this bad?" Naruto has to swallow to steady his voice. "It's not bad, is it? I thought I wasn't _supposed_ to sleep like that—"

"_Hush_, Naruto, and let me look," the Hokage commands absently and he feels the chakra zing lightly against his skin.

Naruto pulls his lower lip in between his teeth and bites, shamed at the thought that _Sasuke_ was here and he had no idea how to take that—_why were they here? Why? _he thinks and his eyes flicker in Sakura's direction first.

_…something's wrong_, he thinks and Sasuke's _smirking_ again with that tiny, horrible, gleeful look that Naruto can't _stand_.

"What's going on, Tsunade-sama?" Sakura whispers. "Is Naruto okay?"

The Hokage takes her hands away and tucks them into her lap. "He's fine," she says slowly and Naruto knows she isn't really listening; she's thinking too hard. Something is bothering her and she's thinking so hard about it that she doesn't seem to care that Sasuke is _right there_.

_I'm not fine!_ he wants to scream out. _I'm not! Something's **wrong **_except he had no idea how to tell them this. He doesn't _want_ to tell them; Sasuke would know and Sasuke would—he would—  
_ (hateme_)  
_—_Sasuke would most certainly mock him for such weakness and Naruto can see it there, waiting in the darkness of the eyes.

So he hunches with his face turned away, listening as Tsunade stands and makes a humming noise under her breath and he doesn't watch when she starts to take small, even steps around his living room. He can sense her make three loops before he lets himself take a breath and he realizes he's shaking. This was bad. This was bad_bad**bad**_—His heartbeat is knocking through his middle, knocking so loud he thinks he'll throw up—

"Hello?"

Naruto jumps at the noise like a startled cat, head spinning to face it—

But it was only Kakashi at the door, knocking, calling out "Hello?" and poking his head through the gap. "Oh, you're all still here? I thought you'd be long gone by now—"

"Hey, we were waiting for _you_!" Sakura gestures wildly. "And we did _your_ job, I might add!"

"Where the hell have you been?" Tsunade snaps a split second after her.

"Ah, sorry, sorry. I got caught up in helping these ants—Oh, hello, Naruto, I didn't know you were awake."

"Ants! What the hell do I pay you for if you're out watching bugs?"

"Well, it's not important now—Hokage-sama, can I have a moment?"

The woman stops her pacing and Naruto peeks over the back of the couch to make sure it's nothing serious; he can't help but feel somewhat paranoid and the uneasy swirly feeling in his stomach won't go away. It might have something to do with Sasuke still standing there—but Naruto won't let himself think on that.

He doesn't want to think much of anything, at the moment, and wraps himself back in his blanket and tries to breathe as evenly as possible. This _shouldn't _bebad, he knows. It shouldn't. The excess of sleeping—_that_ was bad. This…he woke up, right? He was getting better, right?

Tsunade crosses her arms and stomps over to where Kakashi is and stands there, waiting. They begin to talk in murmurs and Sakura plops herself down next to Naruto with a "_Now_ he shows up after everything's done!" and Naruto smiles and hides it.

He had to be getting better. He had visitors. Had to be—which mean he would be able to leave the apartment sometime. He hadn't realized how much he had missed the complaining and excuses and—

—well, almost everything.

"Are you okay?" Sakura whispers with a wary glance. "What'd she mean, you weren't supposed to wake up? You didn't strain yourself again, did you?"

Hesitating, Naruto shrugs. "Um, no, I'm just…I just fall asleep. Sometimes I don't wake up for a while. It's gotten pretty regular."

"Like before? When you slept for three days?"

"Yeah, only last month I was awake about four days of the week." Naruto turns his head away from looking at Sasuke, frowning. "So…why'd you guys came with Kakashi today? How come you didn't visit me before?"

"We weren't allowed," Sasuke draws up one shoulder. "Hokage's orders."

Naruto looks at Sasuke far longer than he wants to and scowls for reasons he classifies as 'rivalry' and tightens his grip upon the blanket. He doesn't want to look at Sasuke. Sasuke reminds him of everything and all the wrongness he feels and under all the hurting he can still hear Sasuke saying '_worthless' _in that mocking, superior voice and he _hates it_—

_"_Wait_—what! _You're saying_ Uchiha is your replacement_? No way! No way in _hell_ will I allow—"

Tensing again at the unexpected noise, Naruto glances to see Tsunade and Kakashi arguing in silence and he wonders why Tsunade is shouting; he knows they're talking about him and his middle squeezes up and he sinks low on the couch, anxious. _What are they saying? What about Sasuke? Is that why he's here? _

"Huh. I wonder what _that's_ all about," Sakura glances at Sasuke a moment after Naruto does. She pauses and whispers, "Why is Kakashi using a jutsu to prevent spys?"

"How should I know?" Sasuke grumbles.

Watching Sasuke's face, Naruto can see nothing but mirrored confusion and an odd, uncertain expression. But he doesn't like the sensation cooling his stomach; he doesn't like it when Sasuke glances back and smirks _again_ and he wants to get up and punch Sasuke upside his head and scream at him and _hurt_ him back for once, because it's all that Sasuke ever seems to do, hurting people.

But he can't; his middle twists and his throat tightens and he thinks of all the things they've done together from fighting to sparring to something as unclear as sex and he can't.

-:-

"What did you want to say, Kakashi?" Tsunade whispers softly and keeps her expression as hostile as possible.

"Ah, you see…there's been a complication."

"What _kind_ of complication?"

"Well…I've got a mission but I've already found a replacement, so you needn't worry, Hokage-sama."

Over the silence between them, Tsunade can hear the hesitant conversation behind her and takes a breath before whispering back, "Wait, what? What are you talking about, a mission?" She pauses. "_Replacement_?"

"Well…" Kakashi drawls out. "Since Sasuke seems to be a factor in Naruto's condition, I was thinking—"

_"_Wait—_what_!You're saying_ Uchiha is your replacement?"_ Tsunade snaps, indignant and bristling. "No way! No way in _hell_ will I allow—"

"Hokage-sama—" Kakashi sighs and his hands start blurring into a series of seals that she recognizes. "Wait a moment, please—"

She knows the jutsu and narrows her eyes; she bites her tongue to keep from screaming anything else.

When Kakashi starts to speak again, his voice is low and regular and echoing around them. "With all due respect…Both of us know that Naruto's condition has been declining, right? You said it yourself that it's possibly a result of his mental state; as his teacher, I know very well that Naruto lets his emotions lead him."

"But—!"

"They fought, didn't they? Did you ever ask _why _Sasuke decided to, well, do what he did? Did you know that Naruto thinks that Sasuke hates him?" he pauses. "There is somethingbetween them, something happening."

Tsunade takes her chance as Kakashi inhales and hisses "—their rivalry has nothing to do with this!"

"I think it has everything to do with this! With the chance that Naruto's state of body depends on his mental well-being, Hokage-sama, I am not about to discredit something as potent as a rivalry between teammates! They fight each other as much as guard each other—" Kakashi retorts and for the first time Tsunade can hear the worry rising in his voice. "It's unbelievable what that boy is capable of based simply on his emotions—you _know_ this! You've _seen _this."

"But you're asking me to _allow his_ _rapist_ to visit him on a daily basis!"

"I am," Kakashi says simply, expressionless.

"I can't allow this! I won't!" She jabs a vicious finger in his direction, furiously spitting out, "Naruto's condition is more than just a hormonal state! More than just emotions! There are _instincts_ seeping through the seal that I don't understand yet! Instincts that _Naruto_ can't deal with! You are risking too many things—"

"And if I'm right?" Kakashi replies just as heatedly. "If I'm right in assuming that Sasuke—broken, heartsick Sasukejust _might_ care about Naruto? Hokage-sama, please, give Sasuke a chance. If Naruto's condition doesn't improve, you may do as you wish."

"Goddammit Hatake Kakashi—_you are asking too much_!"

Kakashi lets his silence answer for him and waits. Tsunade clenches her fists, crossing and uncrossing her arms until finally, angrily, she turns to him. _I was afraid_, she thinks, lost. _I was afraid it might come to this._

"…Do you trust Uchiha that much?" Tsunade's voice is as bitter as her expression.

"No, but Naruto does," Kakashi whispers, hands forming the 'release' jutsu. "Isn't that more important?"

-:-

When Kakashi dispels the jutsu and their voices float back into the room, Naruto wants to scream. Something has happened; he just doesn't know what. He watches as they finally turn and walk closer.

Something big.

Something bad, if Tsunade's expression is any indication. She hasn't looked like this since he woke up in the hospital. His heart jumps to his throat and he can't swallow it back to its proper place.

"Tsunade-hag?" Naruto manages to say. "What's going on?"

She glances at him briefly, then glares at Sasuke. "Uchiha Sasuke," Tsunade rasps. "You will be assuming Kakashi's duties while he is away on mission."

When it sinks in with icy teeth, dimly, Naruto hears himself whisper _"What?"_

—this can't be true—

_Sasuke__ is…he'll…he'll be here every day…_

—and he can't stop it when all of everything comes crashing down on him—now he has to deal with _Sasuke_—and suddenly he's so angry the tears are blurring his vision and he can't stop shaking.

"You're making him take care of me?"

"Consider it a punishment for Uchiha," Tsunade replies and she still hasn't looked at him. "I don't like it any more than you, Naruto."

"But he doesn't have to—"

"Dammit, Naruto, you don't get a choice!" Tsunade yells back.

"Bullshit! You're so full of shit you stupid bitch I can't—It's my body—I don't care what you think—_I don't want him here_—" Naruto's voice cracks and he shrieks. "_He_ _hates me!"_

One breath and then another turns into a frustrated sob and Naruto can't stop shaking, thinking—_hates me he hates me because I'm worthless and I won't—_Naruto clenches his hands so hard he can't feel his fingers anymore and he doesn't _dare _look at Sasuke—doesn't dare because he'd have that stupid look on his face and Naruto knows he'll end up doing something worse than yelling if he looks. He hates the feeling of helpless, pointless hurtbruising up inside him and he would give anything in the world to be normal.

—he wants it so much and it never happens—

"Naruto—" Tsunade is saying and she's coming closer.

_—hates me he hates me everyone hates me**—**_

Before she can touch him Naruto snarls something high in his throat, swinging at her through his tears. Somehow he has enough strength to bounce from the couch and dash for his bedroom. No one follows and Naruto takes enough pleasure in slamming his door that he does it five more times just to make the point.

_No, this can't be happening—I can't—I don't want him around if he hates me_!

-:-

Sasuke can't find the words for the emotion choking through him. Fear. Hate. Anger. The echoes of the slamming door are fading. Need. He's done it. _Joy._ There's his chance on a _silver fucking_ _platter_ and now all he has to do is measure it out.

The woman is going to kill him but oh isn't it worth it—

"That could've gone better," Kakashi says, quietly. "Well—come on, Sakura. Time for us to leave!"

"But—" the girl starts and Sasuke can't look in her direction—he'll start grinning if he does, and he knows he won't be able to stop. Kakashi has her by the arm and he's shaking his head at her.

"Don't worry, Sakura—they'll be fine. Hokage-sama, I trust you'll inform Sasuke of his duties?"

"Yes," Tsunade murmurs and Sasuke watches her wipe a shaking hand over her face. "Thank you, Kakashi."

Sasuke can't stop himself from shaking and listens to the door close behind them. Seventy-two days and all he had to do was wait long enough and now—god, _now_, now he can—

_Naruto__ looked so…angry. I've never seen him so upset… _Sasuke feels wicked and gleeful and horridly amused at all of it. _So angry and it's all my fault._

"Do you understand this, Uchiha?" The Hokage is saying and Sasuke barely keeps the grin off his face.

"I haven't been informed on this situation…Hokage-sama."

"And you _won't_ know unless Naruto decides otherwise, _boy_—" she snaps and stops when he flinches, slightly; she grinds her teeth shut and Sasuke waits while she exhales. "Naruto is unstable. His chakra is unstable. His moods are unstable. The source of his problem is his discretion. No one visits and your responsibility is to watch him, drop off his clean clothes, groceries and whatever else he might need. If you have questions, ask Kakashi."

"I understand," Sasuke says, uncrossing his arms and standing straight. "I'll be going now."

"Uchiha—" the woman begins as he nears the door. Out of habit he stops to listen and she continues, "You are responsible for this situation and you don't even know what you're dealing with. If his condition worsens…"

There is a strange look on her face and Sasuke wonders in the back of his head what it means—she looks sad and afraid, all at once—

"If there are any changes in appearance or demeanor, you will notify me immediately."

"Of course." Sasuke replies with a touch of mockery. "Hokage-sama."

She follows him out of the door and they part ways at the street in silence, and Sasuke walks out into the sunshine with the giddy, falling sensation that he couldn't outrun.

_—now—no more waiting no more—_

But he tries when he's sure no one is watching—tries his hardest to outrun it, heart pounding and muscles burning until the trees and grass and sky blur around him. Then when everything's melted away he stops, looking back, breathless, spinning, falling until the ground hits him and he's flat on his back, laughing.

-:-

Tsunade tracks Kakashi down to a small, seedy bar; when she steps inside she finds the man in the back corner with Jiraiya. She sits down and snatches the bottle of sake, silent for ten minutes while she works over her anger to say, "Was it absolutely necessary?"

Kakashi has to nod and she doesn't miss the way he checks for escape routes. "Yeah, well…you didn't see them every day. Naruto wasn't getting better. Give him a mission, give him something to do, give him something to keep his attention and he doesn't stop chattering; mention Sasuke to him and his entire personality breaks down. Sasuke hurts him. Hurts him worse than all the misguided hatred of the village because he wants Sasuke to respect him."

"…and Uchiha?"

"Sasuke…well, I can't say for sure. He's angry and frustrated because Naruto can push all his buttons; Naruto fights with him and refuses to admit anything to Sasuke—I don't know if Sasuke knows how to have a friend. He's barely capable of being social, but I know he craves it even if he isn't aware of it."

Tsunade takes a second pull of the drink and drops her eyes, rubbing them. "He's a lonely boy. He's afraid of it. Afraid of Naruto. Afraid of _something_. I watched the way he looked at Naruto, Kakashi, and he can't even let himself think of whatever it is, it scares him that much."

"…so now we wait," Jiraiya belches from the corner. "and hope that there's a few buildings left in Konoha when it's over."

"What do you mean, 'a few buildings left'?"

"Ah, well, don't worry!" Kakashi waves a hand, laughing. "If I'm right, then Naruto's condition will improve and they'll be trading insults and fists as usual."

"Aren't you taking this a little lightly?" Tsunade glowers at him. "What if they trade more than just fists?"

"It's not really my problem—"

"The hell it isn't!" Tsunade roars, swinging a fist and the man has enough wits to duck out of the way. "Kakashi—!"

"It's not like we could stop them if they really got into it," Jiraiya points out, grinning. "Unless you wanna go watch, Tsunade-hime—ow! Hey! Goddamit—!"

-:-  
(day one)

The first day of Sasuke's new 'mission' goes uneventful. There is no need for him to bring more foodstuffs, so all Sasuke does is kick the dirty clothes into a corner. There is no urge to clean.

Sasuke is distinctly aware of how Naruto watches him from a crack in his bedroom door and doesn't bother to look his way. He finishes everything needed and leaves within ten minutes of arrival.

-:-  
(day two)

The first words Naruto address to Sasuke is a resounding "_You ugly bitch!"_ when his clothes are dropped on his bed, still wet from the wash.

Sasuke leaves, smirking, and Naruto breaks the only chair he has left by throwing it out the window.

-:-  
(day five)

Naruto wakes to see Sasuke peering down at him and hits him in the face with a pillow out of sheer instinct.

"You need to eat," Sasuke tells him sourly after grabbing the pillow away. "Sit up."

Naruto hisses at him and calls him the worst words he can think of when Sasuke grabs a bowl of soup or something and shoves into his hands. He doesn't seem to care that it splashes onto Naruto's hands.

"Eat it," Sasuke commands, walking away. "I'm not making any more."

"Fuck you!" Naruto throws the bowl at the back of Sasuke's head and misses. The stain on the wall would linger for days.

After that, Sasuke places the bowl of whatever he decides to make on the table and Naruto waits until he leaves to eat, cold or not.

-:-  
(day six)

Sasuke triggers three traps just walking into the room and has to activate his sharingan just to dodge the weapons that come flying at him. He drops the bag of ramen on the floor—tripping a sensor—and rolls to avoid the whipping wire that nearly slashes his face. The after-breeze stirs his hair and something spatters on his leg—he looks down and sees water or some sort of liquid soaking into his pants.

Foul-smelling, nose-burning liquid—

"I take it you trapped the entire apartment?" Sasuke asks, scowling. He knows better than to move, and doesn't really expect an answer. When Naruto just shows his teeth in a grin from the couch, Sasuke keeps his face neutral.

"Are you gonna leave?" Naruto replies, and Sasuke knows the look on his face and wants to hit him when he sees a smirk on that whiskered face. "You can't avoid them all, you know."

"I'll consider it training, then," Sasuke responds and sweeps his glance around.

Ten minutes later, singed and frazzled but unhurt, Sasuke walks triumphantly out the door even though Naruto is still watching him with that amused, unholy look. _I didn't miss any traps, _he thinks. _So why—_

He gets as far as three blocks before he realizes there are dogs following him, sniffing and growling and Sasuke looks down at his pants and the damp stain, cursing violently.

-:-  
(day eight)

Tsunade is there for a check-up when Sasuke walks through the door. Naruto doesn't even bother to look at him when Tsunade gives a sniff of annoyance. Naruto almost expects her to set Sasuke on fire with just a look, but she ignores his presence.

Sasuke walks into the kitchen and puts the fruit he bought into the freezer, drops the ramen into the sink, and drags the trash bag out the door without looking once in their direction.

"Well." Tsunade raises a brow after the door swings shut. "I see you've used the dog-piss prank."

To his credit, Naruto manages a passably innocent look and smiles.

-:-  
(day nine)

It's dark and Naruto is far from feeling tired. He can't sleep. He can't even lay down without smelling the different scent of the laundry soap that still lingers on his clothing and sheets. It must be the brand Sasuke uses—

But he doesn't want to know what brand Sasuke uses and sits on his bed with his arms hanging out of the window and exhales.

"…I hate you. You're such a prick, Sasuke." He mumbles, making faces, shying away from the thought that at least Sasuke made things interesting and a tiny part of him that goes _he can't ignore you now_.

It bothers him to feel the nibble of emotion that leaps into his throat every time Sasuke shows up, every time he scowls or glares or does _something. _No matter what it is, Naruto refuses to admit on all but the deepest parts of himself that he still had questions, still wanted to _know_ because 'I wanted to' wasn't really an answer.

Naruto stares out into the night and watches the dimming lights of the city around him and wonders when he stopped wanting Sasuke to ignore him and shudders._ When did this happen? _he thinks. _When did I get so…when did this…when did I start to worry about what he thought?_

_Sasuke__ hates me—he said he hates me and he acts all high and mighty and he's such a prick—_

A part of him burns because something about Sasuke pisses him off. Everything about Sasuke has that effect, Naruto decides once he lets himself think of it. Everything. Sasuke was such a two-faced, whiny little bitch—saying one thing and doing another—

"I can't believe I actually _believed_ you wanted to," Naruto mutters to the non-existent Sasuke. "I'm still going to kick your ass. Just watch, Mr. Perfect."

-:-  
(day eleven)

Naruto doesn't know when it started.

He doesn't usually try to talk to Sasuke—he doesn't want to talk to him so insults are his words of choice; he doesn't even want to _look _at him, but there's something about the way Sasuke is taking this like a mission or maybe it was the way he would simply show up, do the bare minimum, then leave—it might even be the arrogance that Naruto can't stand—but the aggression takes him before he can stop it and Naruto doesn't know _why_.

He doesn't know why or when or even how. He doesn't care. He's forgotten whatever insult had decided it for him and all he knows is that hurting Sasuke, besting him, being _seen_ by him even if it means ripping out his hair is the most important thing and it's always been this way.

Even now it hasn't changed, Naruto realizes, bleeding from a hundred tiny slashes; a bowl had fallen and shattered when Naruto shoved Sasuke into the table. Now it's digging into the skin of his arms and stomach—Sasuke's on his back and they're viciously brawling and cursing and Naruto doesn't know when it started.

_—and he doesn't care_.

He revels in the solidity of fighting, the pain of future bruises, knowing that Sasuke might have the edge on him in training now and it's showing by how badly Naruto's getting his ass kicked but he's determined to give as good as he gets. Sasuke's got a fistful of blond hair and he's pulling Naruto's head back, slamming it forward and the only thing that stops a concussion is Naruto curling up an arm between him and the floor.

_Tsunade__-hag is going to kill both of us if she finds out, _Naruto thinks, almost laughing, getting a knee under his hips and pushing. Naruto elbows him in the face and the shift in balance sends Sasuke rolling. Naruto grins fiercely when the blood streaks the white skin from tiny slivers; he kicks a glass at Sasuke's head and follows him over just as quick. Sasuke manages to smack the heel of his palm into Naruto's chin, but the blond is already straddling him.

—_can't ignore me—you can't ignore me now, bastard!_ he remembers thinking through the sting of his knuckles. Sasuke's able to divert most of the force in Naruto's blows, but he's bleeding from the nose and there are bruises on his face. There is a wild look under the blood and bruises and Naruto doesn't even question that Sasuke could be insane—he knows he isn't. This wouldn't happen if they were sane.

Naruto wants to laugh. He wants to squeeze something until it snaps. He wants _something_ and it's all Sasuke's fault and somehow, he isn't surprised to hear his own voice break the silence with a cracked, shrill "Am I worthless _now? Huh_? You stupid, fucked-up _bastard_—"

Sasuke's got a deathgrip on his wrists and a painful knee drives the breath from his lungs and they're rolling and Naruto can feel the needle-prick of porcelain slivers digging into his back and then Sasuke's over him. Naruto resorts to twisting like a cat, bucking and heedless of the damage he's taking—anything to get Sasuke within biting or striking range—

But Sasuke still has his wrists and twists them and Naruto bites the inside of his cheek to keep from screaming. Through the pain Naruto hears him whisper, his voice is rough and strained.

"Still hung up on that, dobe? Why—?" Sasuke grunts, picking him up by the wrists and shaking him. A queer excitement darkens his voice, flushes his face. "_You're_ _the one who doesn't care_!"

"What the fuck are you talking about—are you stupid!" Naruto yanks a wrist free and somehow manages to get enough of his leg between them to shove the other away. "_You_ said you wanted to!"

Sasuke doesn't let go even when his head thunks into the wooden cupboard door. There's a flash of motion and then a huge, wholloping pain in his face; Sasuke must have kicked him. There's a violent heave on his wrist and a sickening tilt and Naruto looks up past the hand around his throat to Sasuke's face. Sasuke's kneeling over him. Naruto bares his teeth instead of coughing for air and digs his nails into the muscle of the arm.

"I did," Sasuke says with a funny, absent little smirk. "So what?"

"So what?" Naruto spits. "So _what!_Fuck _you_, Uchiha Sasuke! I hate you! Get off me so I can finish kicking your ass! Do you hear me, _I hate you_!"

There is speculation in his eyes, a dawning hard gleam that sends shivers down Naruto's back. He hasn't fought like this for almost three months—he isn't used to it. His body is numb and sore and he isn't even sure he'll manage the strength to last through Sasuke's little fit.

A knee between his thighs, a groin against his hip—something inside of him turns and twists at the thought—he can feel the quickness of Sasuke's heart against his arms. He can feel the rush of air as Sasuke tries to slow his breathing, the dampness of his breath. The pressure on his throat is distractingly tight and painful and it's all Naruto can do to keep from squirming, drawing blood with his hands. "If you hate me—" Sasuke hisses. "If you _hate me_ so much—"

"—why are you hard, Naruto?" Sasuke has a dangerous edge in his voice.

Naruto squeezes his eyes shut and turns his head away, but Sasuke isn't done. There is conquest in his voice and Naruto doesn't want to open his eyes to see the smirk. _Don't tell him don't admit it–it'll go away—_

"I'm not," Naruto rasps, struggling for breath. "There's a kunai in my pocket. _Let go of me_!"

"Liar!" Sasuke rages abruptly, body shifting painfully against him, hand tight until Naruto sees blotches on the edge of his vision. "Fucking _liar_—"

"I can't help it!" Naruto sucks in a breath, panicking, clawing at Sasuke's arm. "Dammit, stupid bastard, I can't!"

But Sasuke doesn't seem to be listening and Naruto tries kicking him just under the ribs with his knee as Sasuke grates against his ear, "—you do…you _do _want this—I knew it _I knew it_—"

The pressure around his throat vanishes and he feels Sasuke slide up against him in a way that was almost familiar and he's so busy sucking in air that he can't even find the strength to deny the little burning heat that's spreading through his skin. Shame and need and heat and hatred mix and burn inside him and Sasuke's _mouth_ is on his skin, he can feel his teeth—

"Don't," Naruto doesn't know how the words made it past his throat or how he pushed away his pride enough to whisper it. "_Don't_—"

"_I knew you'd let me_—" Sasuke says, biting him and Naruto hears himself give a choked little scream, bending his body up.

—and he does. He will. He wants it and doesn't want it but he doesn't think he can stop it. He knows this threshold, this sensation and Sasuke's hand is dragging up under his shirt, tugging at it, tearing it at the neckline in one smooth jerk.

_Don't— I can't, I told you I can't help it—Sasuke don't—_

There is a chime of sound as the crystal of necklace slides free, a sensation of movement that Naruto worries might be the result of a broken chain but it settles back against his neck and out of view—but he doesn't think Sasuke would even notice it because Sasuke—Sasuke is—

_He's really going to—_Naruto thinks with a belly full of coldness and listens to the harshness of their breathing. "Stop it Sasuke _stop—"_ he hisses, wiggling for leverage and grabs Sasuke by the hair and drags, heaving, until Sasuke's looking down at him from the length of his shaking, extended arm .

"I won't," Sasuke breathes and Naruto can see the pulse in the line of his exposed throat. "I _won't_—"

Fingers squeeze his wrist but Naruto doesn't let go of the hair; he can't, he doesn't dare and Sasuke drops his weight a little in warning. Sasuke stares down at him, dark eyes furious and endless, wide and huge in his rage. In disdain. In something Naruto can't even begin to define.

But—

"Yeah but you hate me, remember?" Naruto points out, wheezing, teeth bared. "All that shit you said—you think I'm gonna let you—just let you—"

"I lied," Sasuke's mouth twitches into a grin that shows the tips of his teeth; slowly, he rolls his hips against Naruto's erection.

_—lied? _his mind stutters. _He lied? About—then he— _and while his mind flips over it, Sasuke rubs up against him again, harder.

"_Hnng__—_" is all Naruto can manage; the sensation of it, being _conscious_ for it, is almost too much for Naruto to comprehend. It feels good and painful, drawing tight through his spine and through his middle. Naruto can feel the way Sasuke's stomach moves against his, the weight of his body and solid feel of Sasuke's arousal—

_If he lied—lied he lied—why would he lie? Why would he do this?_

Something inside of him must want it, he knows and thinks of red eyes and sharp teeth. But it can't be all the demon's fault; something inside of _him_ reactsas his thoughts flash back to the clearing and the last time they saw each other, to Sasuke, to the half-remembered sensation of the first time, flashing right down to the pathetic mumble in the back of his head that goes _he wantsto do it—_

_Would he want this if he hated me?_

Sasuke uses his distraction to twist away from the hold on his hair, seizing the wrist and pushing it down, pushing _him_ down and grinding against him. Above the rush of pleasure Naruto hears the huff of laughter through the parted mouth.

Then Sasuke leans back, catching the bottom of his shirt and pulling it over his head. Naruto can only watch as Sasuke's body shows itself, drawing in a deep breath at the wildness in Sasuke's face, a crazy freefall he can see in the dark eyes when Sasuke stares down at him, harsh and sharp and beautiful.

Naruto can only watch, thinking _when did this happen when did it **start**_? and a shocked _He took off his shirt! _

With his forearm, Sasuke smears away the blood under his nose and watches, calculating, waiting. Their legs are tangled and it's bending his knee the wrong way to have Sasuke sit up like that but Naruto doesn't care. The blood is rushing in his ears and the excitement burns a hole through him; he doesn't want to stop and he can't stop looking at the paleness of Sasuke's skin and the curve of his muscles and bone and he doesn't care—

They crash together. Sasuke pushes him back down with an arm against his chest and the other moves the torn shirt out of the way; his teeth are set in the junction of his shoulder and the pain of it is wickedly sweet. Black hair falls in Naruto's face and he can taste blood and sweat and _Sasuke_ when he inhales.

Naruto makes a sound high in his throat when Sasuke ruthlessly pushes his arms between their bodies, scraping bruises and tiny slivers. With three wrenching heaves, the waistband of his pants give way under Sasuke's hands and Naruto isn't sure if he's struggling there on the kitchen floor to help him get them off, or just struggling to feel the way Sasuke moves back against him.

He doesn't _care_. Sasuke _lied—_

Sasuke sets his teeth in a different place, higher, on the neck as his left arm braces his body. Sasuke's breathing is fast and shallow and he makes the strangest growl when Naruto bites him back, so Naruto does it again and again just to hear it. His head is spinning and he's so hot he can barely remember to take a breath. Between heartbeats he hears the sound of a zipper—

_Sasuke!_ Naruto thinks hot and afraid and red-numb on the edges of his world. He has a dim impression of Sasuke's shorts bunched around his thighs and he wants to scream the name, wants to stop and doesn't, wants—incredibly, desperately _wants_—and he can't even bite down anymore. All he can manage is a clawing pull at the muscles of Sasuke's back when his knees are shoved apart and an arm pulls him _up_ and pulls him closer. Now he can feel the wet, rigid erection pushing between his thighs and against his own sex—

_—Sasuke what are we-god what are we doing?_

—and Sasuke doesn't stop as Naruto knows he won't; the bluntness of his sex slicks down and Sasuke was really—_they were really doing this_ and he tries to scream when Sasuke presses in, tries with all the breath left in his body because it hurts it hurts it _hurts_ so much that Naruto can't even breathe.

Sasuke's head is lodged somehow against his shoulder; Naruto is keenly aware of the saliva sliding down his neck, the trembling that goes through Sasuke's body. The motions are making Naruto wince and his hands are shoving at Sasuke, trying to push him away somehow just like he's trying to breathe without crying.

"J-Just—just," Naruto hears himself gasp and doesn't remember what he's going to say, head lolling, heart pounding and dizzy with the pain and remnants of arousal; he's still hard and the heat in his stomach is spreading in waves and he almost feels sick with the way his body bends. The feeling of Sasuke is strange. It hurts. It doesn't hurt. It's _Sasuke_ inside him, scraping teeth against his skin and sliding in and out and deeper with every breath.

The force of it shakes through him when Naruto stops trying to resist it, stops fighting it. He can't breathe deeply, can't move, can't speak and his legs are so wide he wonders why he isn't split in two—It aches and burns and Sasuke's parted mouth is warm against his body. He can hear the throaty carnal noises that Sasuke makes, low and hard to match the drive of his hips.

Deeper, as Sasuke makes a throaty whimper, and deeper still until Naruto realizes he's got one hand tangled up in Sasuke's hair again and when Sasuke moves in a way that Naruto's body knows, the pain of it is somehow less and worse than any other pain. Sasuke's belly slides against the rest of his erection, pale skin and warm flexing muscle.

Then Sasuke bites him again and he realizes that some of the noises are his; Sasuke, lost in whatever gratification he's getting, is placing bite after bruising bite and Naruto can't help the shaking that pitches through him.

_Don't_, he wants to say, _Don't__. I don't—_but Sasuke drags his mouth free and up Naruto's neck to the point just under his ear, mindlessly nudging at him, inhaling and thrusting on the exhale. Something shifts; he's not sure what—

It isn't really pain, any more and Sasuke's moving faster, deeper and Naruto tries holding his breath to see if the pain gets worse—but it doesn't. After the third heartbeat of not-quite-pain a thin sense of arousal skims over him, quicker with each thrust, brighter when Sasuke mouths the bruises on his neck. He tries to inhale with Sasuke's hair clinging to his mouth and cheeks, furrowing his brow, lifting his chin—

And it hits him. It hits him loose and hot and spread along his body, but he knows this feeling. He knows this heated thing—he doesn't know _how_ when it still hurts and while it's one of the crappiest he's ever had, it's _there_—

It sucks him under with a spasm that makes him curl up against Sasuke who puts an unexpected twist in his hips; it sweetens it and Naruto opens his mouth, _there_, voiceless as his orgasm unsnaps through him.

In the moment after it overtakes him, Naruto's aware of the violent, clumsy thrusts and the tension in Sasuke's body, the way he moves and breathes; Aware, he waits as Sasuke fucks him for the space of three shallow breaths, until he hears the urgent little noise as Sasuke slides into him again. Then again and it's breath number four—

_Again_ and Naruto feels the tension change, feels it draw up through the muscles of the back, feels Sasuke shudder, hears it in the harsh "_…mmnngh_," that Sasuke suppresses against his throat. Naruto feels it as Sasuke's body shifts into a series of short, shallow little movements as if it didn't know it was supposed to stop—

But Sasuke does stop after a moment, heavy and gasping and Naruto lets his arms slide away. He doesn't want to be accused of trying to hug him or something; he hears them hit the floor. _How the hell_, Naruto's mind tries again, but he pushes it back and turns his head. He can feel the odd twitchy pulses from Sasuke's penis and swallows back the shame and the discomfort of it.

_…when did this happen…_ghosts through his head. Naruto doesn't want to look at Sasuke first thing after this so he stares at the cracked, white-painted walls and tries to breathe. He tries to ignore the weight above him and feeling the heartbeat of someone else, the way his breathing sounds and waits because it's all he can do.

The time it takes for Sasuke to finally move is longer than the actual length of their fuck. Naruto isn't keeping track, exactly, but he's aware of how quick it must have been, twisting from their fighting into fucking. He can understand not wanting to move—he doesn't want to, either, now that the gratification wears off and all of his bruises are pointing out their existence. It hurts even more to have Sasuke sit up and pull far enough away to glance down at him.

There's a dazed, disbelieving expression in his eyes and Naruto wonders what Sasuke must think if he thinks anything at all of this. Naruto blinks up at him, looking through his lashes without any expression of his own, just laying there as Sasuke adjusts his sticky limbs and moves a few inches back.

"Happy now?" Naruto finally asks out of the habit to fill any silence with words; his voice is hoarse. "Asshole."

The corner of his mouth twitches and Sasuke reaches down. Naruto tenses, but the touch of his fingers is brief, then the sound of his shirt ripping fills the silence between them.

"You know, I liked that shirt, jackass."

"Don't be stupid," Sasuke replies; he uses the piece of shirt to wipe the stickiness Naruto left on his stomach.

"What, don't be stupid 'cause you ripped my shirt? Please. Don't be an ass, Sasuke, how about that?" Naruto pauses. "I do have _towels_ for that sort of thing." Naruto watches his hands as they move, the shine of fluid, watching as they move lower and begin the process of wiping away the rest. There is blood smeared on the lowest part of his belly and Naruto realizes it must be his and isn't really surprised.

"It was already ripped."

"…bastard." Naruto grunts, drops back to the dirty floor and tilts his head back. He watches a spider on the ceiling travel along a waterstain and remarks absently, "You ripped it in the first place."

"Hn. So? Get up."

"I'll get up when I stop hurting," Naruto tells him crossly and listens to the rustle of the shorts and the slide of the zipper.

Sasuke doesn't bother to say anything right away. Naruto can see the way his eyes flicker in his direction, calculating and it makes him feel all sorts of uncomfortable things, uneasy, hesitant things so he looks away. He wonders why, if Sasuke had planned it, wanted it—it seemed to happen too fast to stop—he wondered if Sasuke still hated him after doing this—

"Get up, dobe, so I can clean the floor and go home."

"Fuck off right through the window, bastard," Naruto tells him instead of hitting him like he wants to. It hurts to move and he's tired so he settles for a warning glare. _Well at least I know he cares_, a wisp of anger murmurs through him.

"Shut up," Naruto mutters when Sasuke gives him a measured glare. Carefully, slowly, painfully Naruto levers himself up until he's hunched over his legs and taking in the shattered ceramics on the floor, the smears of blood, the state of his body.

A faint ring of metal and Naruto glances up as Sasuke pulls out a kunai. He watches with narrow eyes as Sasuke twists, ignoring him, and draws the edge carefully along his arm. Blood smears and Sasuke wipes the blade on his shorts and does it again.

_Pulling slivers out of his skin_. _Hah. Eat that, bastard,_ Naruto thinks, and smirks. He'd laugh, but he's afraid it might hurt to laugh. Instead, he searches for words, any words, to pull his mind from the growing uncertainty and settles on something that's been lurking in his head for the last month.

"Are you gonna get mad at me again?"

"What are you talking about, dobe?"

"The last time this happened you got pissed off. I figured, if you're gonna be mad, I might as well know because I have to deal with your bitchy ass, bastard."

Dark eyes glide to his and even if his hair is a mess and there's blood and spit and bruises on his skin, he still manages to look pretty—but Naruto doesn't think things like that. The eyes watch him for a moment, then Sasuke replies coolly, "…are you going to tell me what '_I can't help it_' means?"

Shock flashes through his eyes and Sasuke can see it. Naruto watches him take it in and add it to whatever else he must be thinking of and Naruto shudders.

"No," he replies faintly. "I'm not telling you shit. I'm gonna bathe now."

Sasuke doesn't respond and Naruto doesn't look at him to see if he's watching. He grunts, rolling forward and grabbing the table to help him stand. It hurts to straighten, hurts to breath deeply, but it hurts worse when Sasuke doesn't reply. Naruto watches him without wanting to, waiting for the pain to pass enough to let him walk, a flicker of humiliation coloring the back of his neck as fluids slip down the inside of his leg.

_—going to tell you? Tell you? How can I tell you?_ _I don't even know what's happening—_

To distract himself, he grabs at the chain of the necklace, wondering why he even put it on, and tugs it back to the proper position. He folds his fingers around it for a moment and doesn't notice the sharp glance Sasuke gives without stopping.

"You'll have to tell me sometime," Sasuke says without warning.

"Yeah?" Naruto mutters without looking. "Well, maybe next time you'll pick a better place to fuck, Uchiha."

"…next time?"

Flushing, Naruto can picture the stupid arrogant _satisfaction_ in Sasuke's face. Angry more with himself, Naruto gives him a five-second view of his middle finger and glares.

Sasuke is smirking at him before looking away to draw out the rest of his slivers.

Scowling, Naruto pushes all thoughts of pride away and manages to put one foot in front of the other, making his way out of the kitchen. He knows if he looks back he'd see the drops of blood and semen on the floor trailing him or the results of their fighting and fucking strewn over the kitchen.

_Holy shit.__ It really happened. It did. I let him—_

If he looks back, he'd see Sasuke still sitting there, shirtless and bloody and smirking—

The dizziness hits him just before he gets to the bathroom; a part of him hopes it's far enough away that Sasuke won't notice. Naruto can feel his legs shaking and he has to hang on the door to catch his breath.

_I let him. I **let** him—_

_I **let** **him** **do it **because I wanted to. Just like he said, _Naruto stumbles as he's shutting the door behind him and catches himself on the sink. _Just like he wanted it too._

_But I won't tell him. I wanted it enough so it's my fault too and I don't care if he hates me…I can't tell him. I can't._

Naruto looks up from the view of his hands white-knuckled on the porcelain, up until he can see his bruised, blood-smeared face. He looks at himself, blond hair and blue eyes and whiskered cheeks and wonders how this ever happened—he's just a bratty, loud-mouthed boy—and Sasuke, if Sasuke—

_I'll die if he ever looks at me like everyone else.  
_

_:  
:  
:tbc_

a/n – uh…hi? Wow. I could have split this chapter into two parts…Oo see what happens when I get out of college? er, yeah.

So…what'd you think? I hope it works—I put a lot of humor into this one to balance it out—well, more to show that Sasuke's a selfish, evil messed-up little bastard (except he's not, really) and it's getting harder to show the progress as these two move along without rushing them into it and making it a cheesy, sappy everyone-hug happy thing. (it might have a glimmer of it at the end…but there's more, I promise.) And…again! I left a few hints as to what's going on, and explained Naruto a little further—Next chapter will have..um...confrontations and conflicts and angst. and smex. more smex, wheee!

…as for some of the reviews…some of you are close. XD But since i can't tell you...well...i hope you like it so far?


	5. five

**:Warning/Disclaimer:  
**The characters don't belong to me, but the plot and the story do. There will be lots of sex, swearing, and abuse. Hey, lookit that.  
**_Rated R for a reason, people!_** _**Read accordingly  
**__I like swearing,I like sex, and I like making two boys do it!  
_Anyway, Sasuke's not a happy camper, and Naruto's…not normal anyway, so I've thrown them together, dashed in some angst and wrote this up.  
They've got all current attacks and issues, except that Sasuke -still angsty- doesn't run off. He just broods. A lot. Lots and lots of brooding.  
So, on the grounds of _yaoi_, I give you this dark, unhappy (kinda) lovestory.  
**:OIY – One last warning.** **This chapter has some explicit stuff…swearing, sex (_holy god, is there sex_) and moodswings. Moodswings are awesome:**

**:Part** **Five:**

The house looms over him with peeling paint and a dusty, unused look to it; Sasuke isn't exactly sure how he arrived at the steps of his empty home. He doesn't remember walking down the road with its dark windows and silent streets, doesn't care about the rumpled, bloodstained clothing or the blood drying on his skin.

No, he had simply walked, thoughts whirling with the memory of fighting with Naruto. Thoughts of being better and faster and superior, thoughts of how _good _it felt, fighting, how thrilling and intense and painful; fighting is never painless and every time his minds strays past it, a sick sense of excitement chokes him.

_He let me I knew he'd let me_ brushes through his thoughts, dark and louder with each heartbeat that thumps through his skull and he can't stop _thinking_ about it, can't stop it and he doesn't even want to stop this—

—_this game-it's all part of this **game** and I'll win I always **win**—_

A smile pulls at his mouth, hard-edged and bruised and Sasuke shudders, head down. _All but begged me to fuck him_, he thinks and remembers how it _felt_ to be inside him again, how it felt to hold him down and the noises and—

—_and next time— _Sasuke raises his hand and pushes open his door; he doesn't bother to lock it anymore. There's nothing of value. He steps inside and slips out of his shoes thoughtlessly and drops the laundry onto the floor_. There will be a next time._

Perhaps it'll be as soon as tomorrow, perhaps not. Sasuke doesn't know; a part of him is eager-bright and keen to test these limits and power—such _power_ over the other—but he isn't certain. Naruto is unpredictable and Sasuke knows the value of waiting and patience. Naruto is strong and Sasuke knows that to really _win _at this, to prove to the idiot that he was the inferior one, he'd have to be careful. Sasuke has no assurance that Naruto would allow it a second time, but—

—_he wanted it he did he's **mine** and I will **break** him—_

_Next time, dobe stupid dobe…_and his thoughts tumble over and under and apart, unfinished.

-:-  
(day 15)

Sasuke's watching him through the open door. Naruto knows that Sasuke thinks he isn't aware of it, but he is. He can feel it prickle over his skin so he stays on his stomach out on the bed and pretends to sleep. The sunlight is warm on his back, and he can hear the sounds of the late lunch being made.

Naruto can't stop thinking about it. He can't stop _wanting _to think about it. It hasn't happened again even though Sasuke glances at him oddly sometimes, but mostly, Naruto is refusing to nicely accept the fact that it _did _happen. That it hurt and it didn't, that he _liked_ it, sorta, and—

_It wasn't that bad_, he tells himself. Naruto pulls the blanket closer to his face and examines the weave through half-closed eyes. It wasn't, but it's _Sasuke—_

Sasuke is standing at the bedroom door, silent, and Naruto can smell the rice and the outdoor sweat smell that Sasuke gets from training. _What do I do when he starts asking questions? I can't…_

"I'm not hungry," he murmurs before he can stop himself. Yeah—deny deny deny.

"It'll be on the table," comes Sasuke's voice and Naruto has to close his eyes, covers his face with the blanket.

-:-  
(day 16)

"Oiy, Naruto—? Are you there?" Tsunade slips into the room, shutting the door behind her and dropping the small bag of items she brought with. For a moment she wonders if Naruto is even in the apartment; the boy is nowhere in sight.

"mmmhrg…Tsunade-hag?" she hears softly in the bedroom.

He must be in the bedroom, then. Probably sleeping. She walks to the door, peering in and pushing it open gently. "There you are—what are you doing still in bed at this time of day, you lazy brat?"

"I'm tired," Naruto says, upright in the bed but rumpled and sleepy. He rubs at his eyes with one loose fist, yawns. "…'snot like I have stuff to do…"

"Well, I've just come to check on you. How are you feeling?"

Naruto shrugs, staring up with groggy blue eyes, blinking, yawning again. Tsunade fights off a reflexive yawn herself and sits on the bed near Naruto. She takes a wrist between her fingers, skimming over with both mind and fingertip.

"How often have you been sleeping, Naruto?" she questions absently. "You haven't been overdoing it? No training?" she pauses, setting his hand aside to press fingers to his temple. Hmm. "Have you been fighting?"

His chakra spikes into subtle shades of bluish-purple and she wonders what it means. She watches his fingers twitch and hears, "No. Setting traps for Sasuke-bastard doesn't count. And I don't get as tired as I did before."

"Mmm, good, good." She pauses and compares how he senses to her, how he is now and wonders. It isn't a good feeling. She sits, tilting his head as she touches the deeper weaving of chakra.

Kakashi was right; Naruto's moods in correlation to his chakra…but what was it that she was missing? The drop in chakra was subsiding; he was stabilizing, but why?

"Has Uchiha been here today?" she asks, absently. "He's not treating you poorly, is he? Getting you food and making sure things are done?"

Naruto's face shifts into irritation and scowls, petulant. "It's fine. I want to go outside. There's nothing to do and I'm going crazy," he says, flatly. "I don't care if Sasuke-bastard has to babysit me 'cause it pisses him off. Make him take me outside."

"Have you asked him yourself?"

"No."

"Well, I'll talk to him about it. I'm not sure if it's safe enough to go out, yet. What if you get tired, all of a sudden, and fall asleep in the street?"

"Then he'll have to carry me home, won't he?" Naruto mumbles. He rubs at his face again, yawning. "Am I getting better yet?"

"Do you feel better?"

Naruto shrugs; the meaning of it escapes her. A shrugging Naruto could mean everything from 'Who knows?' to 'Duh.' and she isn't as quick to read it. She 'hmms' through a sigh and taps a finger against her chin. "Well," she says sourly, after a deep moment of consideration. "If he's willing, I don't see a problem with you outside. But no stress or training, and no fighting," she reminds him.

Naruto's sweet, tiny smile and the brightening expression—if a bit mischievous—is almost worth the doubt that still coils in her middle.

**-:-**

When Sasuke shows up later that afternoon, Naruto doesn't bother in avoiding him. Instead, he follows Sasuke to the edge of the kitchen, instantly ignored, watching the dark-haired boy drop apples in his sink. Ramen goes unceremoniously into the freezer. Finally, Naruto announces, "I wanna go outside, bastard."

Sasuke's response is a measured and insolent "No."

"Tsunade-hag said you could, and I'm bored. Take me outside."

"No."

"I want to go outside," Naruto stresses patiently. "Sucks that you'll fail the mission if you don't."

"I have no reason to take you outside," Sasuke's voice is monotonous. His dark eyes are amused in a weird way; irritated and cunning. Naruto knows the look is because Sasuke enjoys pissing him off. "Shut up and go clean up your apartment if you're bored."

Just to irritate him further, Naruto gives him a narrow-eyed grin. "That's _your_ job, asshole."

-:-  
(day 17)

It isn't a conscious decision. It isn't even a ripple on the surface, but when Sasuke kicks the door open the next day after the idiot's stupid demands, laden with a bag of food and laundry, always _laundry_, he sees Naruto there across from him. Standing there, legs bunched and muscles flexing under the fabric of his shirt, heaving at the couch.

Again.

_Is he still doing this?_ Sasuke thinks and the sight nearly stops him cold and then it's _there_, flashing in hot prickles under his skin. "What are you doing, dobe?" Sasuke asks over the unholy anticipation and drops the food just inside the doorway. Maybe _today—_

There's a huff and Naruto straightens, barely glances his way, wiping at his face. "Rearranging, jerk."

"Why?" Sasuke smirks. "It already looks like shit."

-:-

"Jiraiya—what will happen if they don't…well, if they don't behave?" Tsunade rubs at her face, mournfully looking away from the papers on her desk to the sake bottles in Jiraiya's hand. "I mean, you're right, we can't stop them—but what will happen?"

"Is this one of those serious question, serious answer moments?"

"Dammit, you dirty pervert—"

Jiraiya's face twitches into an unseemly giggle and he waves her off. "Hmm…can't really say. On one hand, if it's a benefits sort of thing…well, it's probably gonna be good for the both of them. If not…well, sucks to be us when it all falls through."

"Bastard." Tsunade drops her head to her arms. "Too early for this crap—Why did I even bother to _ask_…" she exhales and mumbles to the man just inside the doorway without raising her head. "You're late, Kakashi—"

"Ah, am I?"

"Go and check on Naruto, sometime. I'm worried. Something's changing."

-:-

Naruto doesn't like that he hadn't heard the door, hadn't heard or felt Sasuke's approach; he kicks at the couch and slides it another three inches to the left. This, somehow, is more important. It pulls at him, drives him, because to have it any other way is an irritation so strong he wants to peel off his skin.

But he doesn't care, even when Sasuke's measuring gaze is on his body and he can _feel_ the way Sasuke's eyes say more about his intentions than his mouth or body—he doesn't care and wants to be insulted.

He _should_ be insulted and isn't. Still, Naruto watches through narrow eyes as Sasuke disappears into the bedroom with a sack of clothes. A muffled thump tells him that Sasuke must have thrown it onto his bed and a moment later Sasuke reappears.

But why is he—Sasuke's still _watching_ him and his eyes still have that funny gleam and Naruto doesn't know why but bares his teeth, aggravated, and Sasuke—who hasn't stopped _staring_ since reappearing—walks closer. He slows when he gets near, stepping out to the side and around while Naruto scowls at him.

The silence seems to scream between them—

And then it explodes when Naruto drops low and kicks out—Sasuke is too close, now—he feels his foot connecting with Sasuke's elbow pushing his leg away almost immediately. Sasuke already has the upper hand; Naruto suspects that until he can actually _train _again, the bastard will have the upper hand for a long time. There's a kick to the back of the leg he's braced on and then he's struggling and twisting like an angry cat when Sasuke pins him belly-down over the back of the couch.

_Stupid bastard_, he thinks, just before Sasuke's mouth grazes his ear and his words drop free in worst mocking way. "Is this better?"

Naruto exhales sharply, head tossing in an effort to squirm around and snaps out "What? What did you say!"

"The _couch_, dobe. Is it better?"

"I—" Naruto's gaze drops to the ratty, dirty blue couch, faded to gray in spots and ripped and Sasuke wants to—_is it better here? He wants to do it here?_

_Now?_

His heart thumps. "No, I—" Naruto tries, confused and drowning in the quicksilver heat spreading through his body because of Sasuke—_I don't—here? I'm not done yet, _he thinks, wanting to say it and feeling Sasuke's teeth graze the skin at the back of his jaw. Hands steal around, painful tugging hands and the nipping and Sasuke's hips against his ass and _he wants to do it here?_ goes through his head again. _Now._

_Right **now**._

"_Is_ it?" Sasuke breathes and the blond can hear that funny, hard-edged anger between the words, hates the tainted way it sounds. "Answer me, dobe."

Naruto bristles, twisting briefly against Sasuke's hold, snarling "Dammit, Sasuke—"

"Answer me!"

Naruto tenses against his will, breath catching in his throat and he doesn't know if the flutter in his belly is a good thing. It startles him, this feeling, makes him sick because it's low and devious to feel _glad_ that anyone—even Sasuke—would consider it—

…_I can't do this I can't let it go this far—I shouldn't—I can't—_Naruto thinks but doesn't fight, doesn't push or bite or scratch as Sasuke's teeth nip at the line of his neck. He doesn't flinch when hands pull at the waistband of his sweatpants—he doesn't even fight because he's half-hard already and there's a greedy noise in Sasuke's breathing that decides it for him. —_better here, maybe but—but—_

…_I can,_ Naruto bites at his lip. _I can--Sasuke wants it, he wants—we've already done it twice—this is what he wants, isn't it?_

Sasuke's hips are fever-hot against his ass and he wordlessly kicks one foot free of his sweatpants when Sasuke pushes them down with the underwear, propping his knee on the arm of the couch so Sasuke can press closer. Shuddering, Naruto closes his eyes against the indignant thought _the couch I'm bent over the fucking **couch**_—

He barely gets a chance to breath deeply before Sasuke's weight drops upon him and the warmest part is nudging up between his legs. He can hear Sasuke's exhale—no more words from him, yet—and Naruto doesn't know if there _should _be words for this sort of stupid, painful thing between them.

But Sasuke presses up closer, up against him and Naruto can feel the tip of his dick move and god it's gonna _hurt_ again, hurt bad because Sasuke didn't seem to know how to _wait _on things and then—

He squeezes his eyes shut, gasping, fingers clenching in the torn fabric as Sasuke stretches in, _taking_ him in until he just feels pain and full and raw and nothing else around him, nothing but the odd, soft skin against his ass. Nothing Sasuke's weight against his back, mouth on skin, bruising bites to counter the feather-brush of hair.

Nothing but the feeling of Sasuke inside him, again. Again. Oh god they were really—_again_—Naruto shudders, feeling white and paper-frail and full, pressing his parted mouth against his arm to keep any noises away. He can't stop the half-formed "_ow_," when Sasuke's body shifts, moves—it fucking _hurts_—in and out and slow—

God how strange, it's _slow_ and Naruto bites his lip at a brief flair of pain. Seconds tick away into a minute, into two, into something beyond time and measured in breath and heartbeat. Until it's nothing but Sasuke, nothing but pressure and mild discomfort and weird, squicky way he slides in and out. His breathing. In-to and out-from and Naruto thinks _I'm going to remember this couch for the rest of my life_.

He nearly giggles, wants to whisper it over his shoulder and knows Sasuke'll laugh at him. Or stop. Or hit him and then stop—

He doesn't want to stop. Not now, not yet, not while the pleasure is easing up his spine, sliding around the pain and Sasuke's mouth is nipping along the back of his neck again. What _was _it with him and necks—but now Sasuke's hands are inside his shirt, warm and cruel as he draws blood.

Naruto lets himself breath for a moment and waits amid the sensations, deciding that Sasuke's skin is almost girly-soft even with the hardness of muscle and bone; the contrast is oddly alluring. The couch squeaks, shifts with their weight.

_No one else gets this_, Naruto thinks in the darker part of his enjoyment, nearly cursing when Sasuke curls an arm, pulling fabric and forcing his shoulders up. Forcing him to stiffen his arms and bend his spine—_gasping_ when Sasuke makes that needy, low sound in his throat and goes deeper—oh _god_ was it even possible to get that far in?—and a hand moves from skin to his hair and pulls it. Sharp teeth against his shoulder, drawing blood and moving on to do the same on the other unmarked shoulder

_No one_ _else_, Naruto thinks because it's alright, falling in the tide of possessiveness and let the pleasure sweep him over and shamefully doesn't care that he's left stains on the couch.

Then it's over and Naruto winces at the feel of the couch digging into his belly, at soreness and limping pride. After Sasuke's breathing slows away from the pleased sound that Naruto hears, after his lower half disengages, pulls away and Naruto finally hitches up his underwear, a thought strikes him.

It almost knocks him over.

It's his only chance.

"Take me outside," he whispers hoarsely, flatly, shuddering at the concession he's about to admit. "…and _maybe_ I'll let you do that whenever you want."

There is a pause so acid-clear that Naruto can't even turn his head to look when he lowers the leg propped on the arm of the couch, worries at the expression on Sasuke's face—if he lied about lies, could he lie about lies about lies—

"…maybe?" Sasuke echoes and Naruto gets a moment of eerie amusement that his voice is raspy. Sasuke's short little laugh is ugly and it fans the anger that Naruto always feels around him. "_Maybe_ you don't have a say in this."

Naruto pushes himself straight, wincing at the sting, using his forearm to wipe over his face as he finally turns in Sasuke's direction. Hell if he's gonna sit down and let the bastard think he's winning this; the Uchiha is adjusting his clothes with that particular unholy triumph in his eyes.

That stupid, hateful look—

"_Maybe _you don't know shit." Naruto mocks in a voice close to Sasuke's bitterness. "—are you going to, or not?"

Sasuke's face is half-hidden by his hair. Naruto can't see his eyes, but he can see the smirk drawing over the mouth. "No."

"Yeah, well," Naruto stretches arms up to lace fingers behind his head, gives Sasuke his own version of '_Go fuck yourself' _expression and feels his underwear ride low on his hips. "Your loss, prick."

-:-  
(day 18)

Naruto has fallen asleep on the couch by the time he arrives, but Sasuke doesn't care. He stands over the sleeping blond, examining the way one arm is curled around his middle and the other dangles. His feet are tucked together, his face slightly scrunched. He looks pale and breathes slow and shallow.

Sasuke notices this, takes it all in without expression.

He wants to do something, wonders if he should wake Naruto and enforce this new power, bend him over the couch again and hurt him, _do_ something, this thing he is shaping. He needs more, it has to be more—it's not sharp enough. Not painful enough. He'd never understand—

But he doesn't. Something warns him off. Too much too soon—it could backfire. It could all go wrong. Naruto can make things unpredictable, and there would be time for that later. Maybe. So he leaves, stuffing the daily laundry under the kitchen sink on his way out.

-:-

Sasuke shows up on the doorstep of Tsunade's office and knocks twice. There is an indistinguishable murmur from beyond, then a raspy, "Yeah?" reaches him.

"Hokage-sama," Sasuke pushes the door open to see the woman rubbing at her face; there are dark smudges under her eyes, and paperwork strewn over the desk. Ignoring the disdain seeping up through his thoughts, he stands stiffly at attention in the forefront of the room.

"Ngh. It's you. What do you want?" she asks, voice dour with sleep and irritation.

"I can return later this evening with my report, if you wish," Sasuke pointing out without words that the sun was already high, that he didn't have to _be _here if sleeping was more important. He carefully shuts away all triumph, all of his knowledge over _that_, thinking only _If you knew what I've already **done**—_before he pushes it away. Hides it. Locks it.

"No, no. How's Naruto?"

"He's fine."

"Is his condition improving? How is his temper—his moodswings?" Tsunade yawns. "He hasn't shown strange behavior? Is he eating?"

Sasuke can't help the mild disrespect, the need to challenge, to fight limitations and push back—"I have no idea of his condition; I don't care. He's as stupid as usual and he eats whatever I put in front of him."

"Is that so," Tsunade drawls, eyeing him. "You don't _know_. Well, then you deserve some congratulations, you're doing a crappy job—"

Sasuke bristles before he can stop it. "Considering what I have to work with—"

"Considering all _you_ need to do—" she snaps back "—is _observe_ and _report_ and make sure Naruto has everything he needs for the moment. " She pauses and Sasuke hates the fact he can't quite place the expression that flashes in her eyes. It might have been pity. Maybe disgust. She continues before he figures it out. "I don't see the problem for one of your status, _Uchiha_, and I'm too tired to play with you. Tell me or get out"

Sasuke narrows his eyes and decides after a moment of thought to concede the point to Tsunade. "His sleeping pattern hasn't changed; roughly seven hours each night and a day or two stretch every other week." Sasuke pauses, mind clicking through stored information and picks out as much as he dares. "He's eating as much as I've ever seen him eat, won't speak more than three words unless I insult him, and he's been restless enough to rearrange the furniture three times. Any questions?"

"Rearranging?" Tsunade muses, absently moving aside paperwork. "Hmm. Interesting…how are his chakra levels? Have you checked?"

"Still low. Not as…" Sasuke paused to find the right word. "Not as drained as before, but still not a 'normal' level for the idiot."

A moment passes as Sasuke waits for a dismissal that usually happens around this time, watches when Tsunade leans back in her chair, gaze distant and a hand curled by her mouth in thought.

_What did I say?_ Sasuke thinks with secret keenness at the thought. _What did I say to make her think so hard? What am I missing?_

"Alright," Tsunade murmurs. "You can go—"

Sasuke turns on his heel without a second thought and strides away, repeating the conversation and slipping what seemed important into his growing information—then stops, cold and furious and thrilled, all at once.

"—wait, I almost forgot," the Hokage is calling from her office. Sasuke pauses in the doorway, doesn't turn because this is almost as if she's giving him permission, giving _in _to something she doesn't know is happening—

"He said he's bored and wants outside. Take him out, or he'll never shut up about it."

It still pisses him off, though, when her dislike oozes through and he lets himself think of what it means, being _commanded_ to do something that Naruto will likely rub in his face, later...

Sasuke hates the idea that Naruto has precedence, _hates_ it, and he's going to make him _pay_ for that. He spends the evening in the yard of his family home, training and sorting information that was still useless and frustrating—training until he's so angry he's broken down five narrow sapling-logs and his hands are bleeding. Then he stops, hoping he hadn't broken the bones in his hand.

In the morning, he's still angry.

-:-  
(day 19)

It's different the fourth time they have sex, and Naruto knows he doesn't like it, decides it might be the only time he'll allow it; so he suffers it, gritting his teeth from the pain of being slammed against the wall almost immediately upon Sasuke's arrival—

Something must have pissed him off—_really _pissed him off—Naruto remembers thinking, even as his clothes are torn and Sasuke's arm is over his throat. He has to brace himself both on Sasuke and the wall, even as it cramps the muscles in his legs and hips when Sasuke takes him right there—god, it hurts almost worse than anything, worse than before—it's rough and angry and Sasuke's squeezing the breath from him by arm and weight and pain alone.

Gravity doesn't help Naruto avoid the ripping, moving pain from where Sasuke's buried in him. Whatever remnants of arousal are gone and now it's just a fuck, Sasuke's fuck; Naruto has no part in this except for helping along Sasuke's release.

But god it hurts and Naruto's close to screaming _Get off it's too much get off_ _you bastard _but he doesn't—

The need to be outside is stronger. If he does this—

He can't finish the thought. It hurts. He suffers through it even when it feels like Sasuke's ripping him in two, even as the raw tension in Sasuke's body suddenly shifts aggressively through climax. Sasuke sags, hardly breathing and shaking in a way that still promises violence. Waits momentarily and pulls away enough to disengage, and the sting of Sasuke's semen is minor but somehow insanely irritating.

Sasuke's eyes are wild, mouth bruised and bloody; Naruto feels his shoulder sting and ribs creak in protest, he can't move his legs fast enough to catch himself when Sasuke stumbles back and lets him drop. Naruto curls up against the agony of sex and falling, of cramping muscles and inflicted wounds.

He doesn't look when Sasuke reaches for the clasp of his shorts and fixes the state of his clothing, doesn't watch when Sasuke walks into the bathroom. By the time he hears the faucet running, Naruto has adjusted his sweatpants and removed the rest of his torn shirt. It hurts to sit and examine the wide yellowing bruises on his skin.

If Sasuke sees them disappear, he'll have questions. He gets up despite the pain and makes it to where the couch is, doubled over and groping for the shirt on the floor from yesterday. Three tries before he slides it over his head.

By the time Sasuke reappears from the bathroom, Naruto is recovered enough to stand without wincing, and waiting with a flat sullen look. He doesn't speak because he knows that Sasuke is aware of what he wants, doesn't bother because Sasuke isn't looking towards him and that's probably the best thing.

After a moment, Sasuke stops near the door, already leaving, and speaks for the first time. "I'm going to the market tomorrow. Be downstairs at eleven."

Then he's gone.

And then he realizes that Sasuke's hands had been bleeding, eyes tracking to the difference on the wall he had been fucked against. Dark, smeared right-hand prints in the area just above where his head had been.

_Hah. Serves the fucker right_, Naruto thinks even as he wonders what had made him angry enough to hurt his hands so badly.

-:-  
(day 20)

"Hurry up," Sasuke snaps impatiently. Naruto's sitting on the last step and slipping on a battered pair of sneakers and Sasuke can't help the unreal feel of the way Naruto looks. No shinobi gear but a faded t-shirt and jeans, nothing to let slip his abilities or skills—just faded bruises and a weary, peaceful look.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up already." Naruto spares him a dirty glance, rising, tapping his feet one after the other.

Sasuke is already striding off, sullen and irritable at the fact that he has to carry through his side of the uneven bargain—although, he's getting far more out of this than Naruto realizes.

So he doesn't care, really, even when Naruto bounds out in front of him and he catches a glimpse of the expression and wants to wipe it from his face in the most violent way possible.

It bothers him that Naruto looks so happy just to walk outside.

-:-

"Oiy—Kakashi, where have you been—"

"Why, nowhere, Hokage-sama," the gray-haired man answers with his baffled smile. "It's a beautiful day, yes?"

Tsunade refrains from tweaking and _accidentally_ striking him as hard as possible. "Have you checked on Naruto?"

"You know, I _knew_ I had forgotten something," the man muses languidly. "Thanks for reminding me! Now, now, don't get angry," he holds up his hands to ward her off when she sighs, fingers to her forehead. "I'll stop by today if I can, okay?"

"Please do, Kakashi, and stop _forgetting_."

-:-

"Hey, why do I have to carry all this?" Naruto asks. He swings the bags in his hands for emphasis. "They're heavy. You're a bastard."

"You wanted outside," Sasuke replies. His eyes are on the market stalls they walk by and not on the blond beside him. Naruto is somewhat glad for that; with Sasuke's attention elsewhere, he doesn't notice the way the people around are watching _them_.

_Which is good_, Naruto thinks. _He won't ask stupid questions later. _He waits as Sasuke bickers over pricing with a man selling vegetable, listens with half-an-ear and tilts his face to the sun just for warmth. He almost smiles, but he can still hear Sasuke and stops. It doesn't matter, he's _outside_ and who cares if Sasuke has to babysit him, who cares if people still give him dirty looks and words.

His stomach rumbles as Sasuke finishes up his business by paying the man more than he should have for a sack of onions and potatoes, but less than the man wanted. Naruto scowls and sticks out his tongue when Sasuke shoves the bag to him.

"Asshole," he says when his first attempt at refusing it is ignored. "I'm hungry, by the way."

"So?"

Naruto glares at him but Sasuke doesn't bother to look at him for more than a brief split-second. "So _feed_ me, prick! I want ramen—I haven't had ramen in forever!"

"No."

"Ramen!" Naruto demands, swinging the bags. "Ramen-ramen-ramen—right _now_, Sasuke-bastard, or I'm dropping this shit in the dirt and _you_ can carry them!"

"Fine!" Sasuke snaps, unexpectedly, already walking. "Shut up already, stupid."

Naruto smirks, vulpine and whistling. The bags crinkle as he saunters after Sasuke. People on the way still stare as they walk by, at Sasuke's brooding black-crackle presence and Naruto's smugness, at _them_ because Naruto hasn't been seen on these streets in months—

The man behind the counter greets Naruto with a smile, though, when they make it to the ramen stand. Naruto lets himself smile back, dropping bags of food and stuff to the floor, slinging himself into the chair. "Hi!" he says, hooking feet onto the rungs.

"Why, Naruto-kun!" the man laughs softly. "I've heard you were sick. You must be feeling better, then, if you're here today. Will you have the usual?"

"Yeah, that sounds great! and I _was_ sick—" Naruto says, already snapping his chopsticks.

"Still _is_," Sasuke mutters beside him, sliding into a seat. "You're getting only one bowl. One."

"Shut up," Naruto scowls. "_You're_ paying."

-:-

When Kakashi stops by the apartment…there's no one there. He blinks in amusement, wonders if Naruto had convinced Sasuke to sneak out to the training grounds or not, yet—and almost forgets to go from the apartment to the streets, just in case.

Almost forgets, but then a stray curl of chakra catches his attention and he knows they aren't very far away at all. Laughs a little, because when he extends his senses he becomes aware of the tangle of Sasuke, too, and good lord that boy was peeved.

-:-

"Sasuke!" comes the first voice—

"Hi, Sasuke-kun—Naruto, you must be feeling better!" comes the second, more familiar. Sakura's voice. Naruto looks up from slurping noodles and blinks, smiles briefly in response. The first is Ino—somehow he's not surprised and Sasuke sure as hell looks annoyed—so he smirks.

"Hey, Sakura, Ino," Naruto greets after swallowing. Sasuke makes a disgruntled noise that he knows means '_fuck_ _off_' even though Ino in particular takes it as '_Hello_.' Stupid girls. They look like they're passing through; each carries their own bag of items and since Naruto can see pinks and pale blues and _girly_-stuff in the bags, he doesn't ask what they've been doing.

"Are you sure you're not too sick to be outside?" Sakura asks, even as Naruto beams and disagrees.

"Tsunade-hag said I could. I'm not all the way better, yet—but I can go outside now!"

Ino ignores them and all but throws her arms around Sasuke. "—_anyway_, Sasuke. So what are you doing, today? Babysitting?"

"Ino-pig!" Sakura says, offended.

"What? Isn't that what he's doing?"

_Yeah but that's not all—_okay, no more on that thought. Sakura stands there with a hand hovering near her mouth; she doesn't try to defend him and she probably thinks the same thing—Naruto bristles slowly and slurps loudly, lifts the bowl to drain the last of the fluid. Even if it _was _true, he didn't want other people pointing it out—Damn, already gone—His eyes narrow. "Buy me another bowl, asshole—"

"Naruto!" Ino says, immediately scornful, reaching over to push his head aside. She stands over him with a nasty little look. "Buy your own food!"

"If I had money, I would!" Naruto snaps back, scowling, tapping his chopsticks on the rim of the bowl. Sasuke glances at him but Naruto can't read his face; he's gone into 'Anti-Girl' mode.

Stupid girls.

"You're such a _mooch_, Naruto—Maybe you should get off your ass and try being a better person—" Ino is saying and Naruto tries hard to ignore her. Her tone. Her words. Her goddamn irritating presence that goes high into squeals and stupid 'I-love-Sasuke-_so_-much!' voice.

Tries and tries, even going as far as asking again. "Sasuke—"

"No."

"Bastard," Naruto growls. "One more—"

"Here, Naruto-kun," the owner sets a bowl of miso in front of him. "On the house," he says at Sasuke's narrow glance. The man smiles blandly when Ino sniffs.

"Anyway, just ignore Naruto, Sasuke! Do you have plans for later, then? I thought we—"

"I'm busy," Sasuke's voice is distant, bland and all Naruto can seem to do is fume silently to the side, free ramen or not.

"What makes you think Sasuke'd want to go out with you," Sakura teases. "He could have more important things to do—"

Naruto schools his face into annoyance as Ino and Sakura jostle closer and sets himself to the second bowl of ramen. Sets himself to ignore how upset he's starting to feel, how angry and hurt and sick—

"Ino!" Sakura laughs and even that familiar noise is grating.

He gets half-way through, unable to stop himself from watching the way Sakura and Ino _still_ manage to grab onto some part of Sasuke, even though Naruto can tell Sasuke would rather drop them off somewhere on _fire_ than let them touch him—

To the side, in the corner of his vision, two men duck under the curtain. They pause and Naruto looks a little more clearly; they're chuunin, but older and their eyes are cold.

"Let's go somewhere else," he hears one say to his companion. "This place is full of shit." The other one spits and a moment later, they're gone—

But it doesn't help Naruto feel any better about indirectly chasing off business. He swallows the bitter fluid in his mouth before he glances to see if the owner's face has gone as cold and hateful—

"Don't worry about it," the man says, mellow. His eyes are kind and somehow a little sad and _that _doesn't make Naruto feel any better, either. "I like quality business."

Ino's voice rises, almost yelling, and she jostles Naruto, elbow in the side. It could have been an accident, but Naruto doesn't care. He shoves back, suddenly, with a strangled little hiss and pivots enough on the stool to kick at her.

"The _hell_!" Ino half-shrieks. "Naruto, you stupid punk—"

Sasuke's eyes go from startled to amused and then they're back to that mocking flatness and Naruto clenches fingers around his chopsticks.

"Wow, okay, as insanely _nauseating_ your voice is, Ino," he spits. "I'd rather go shit _tacks_ than listen to it. I'm out of here. Have fun with your groupies, bastard—" he flings the chopsticks at Sasuke and half-raises his white-knuckled fist when Ino leans aggressively, dropping from the stool. If she said one more word, he's sure he'd go for her throat.

She's silent, though, face twisted in her disgust as Naruto pushes past and stomps off.

-:-

Sasuke can't _believe_ this. He reaches for his wallet and fishes out enough money to pay for the food and a generous tip, noticing how the old man behind the counter has a distasteful frown for Ino. He reaches for the bags that the idiot had left under the counter.

"Now that _he's_ gone," Ino latches onto his arm and he yanks it back, glaring.

"Don't touch me," Sasuke snaps, grimacing when she tries again, pulls away and lets himself scowl.

"It's just _Naruto_," she drawls, rolling her eyes. "Who cares about him—he's just a pest. So, Sasuke—"

"Ino!" Sakura speaks up for the first time; she actually sounds upset. "He's been _ill_ and you shouldn't antagonize him! What if you make it worse? Some illness stem from the mental health, you know—"

"Naruto?" Ino scoffs as Sasuke grabs the rest of the bags. "He's never been sick a day in his life…"

"—you're such a—"

Voices thankfully _gone_, as Sasuke leaves the stall and the bickering behind him. He doesn't know if he should be annoyed or amused as hell that Naruto had gotten so pissed…he pushes it aside and locks his awareness on the pulse of chakra weaving angrily down the road.

_He was fine until they showed up_, Sasuke muses in the back of his mind. _Until those men…_

That was strange, too. Not uncommon, but it hadn't happened in so long that Sasuke nearly forgot sometimes how people looked at him. The rest of the village…

Sasuke switches all the bags to one hand, pushing back his hair. The rest of the village hated Naruto. Naruto had said so himself.

Another piece of the stupid, irritating puzzle, or coincidence?

It doesn't matter; something to be gnawed at later, turned over and examined when no one else could interfere.

Sasuke looks up and sees that Naruto is on the bridge, legs over the edge and hands white-knuckled on the posts. Angry. Still angry.

"Are you done acting like a baby?" Sasuke can't resist, even though he's not really annoyed. It was the best amusement he's had in months.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole," Naruto snaps, furious, unable to look in his direction.

The ferocity surprises him. Sasuke tilts his head and almost smiles, drops half the bags at Naruto's side. "Get up and carry some of this."

Naruto doesn't seem to hear; his face has gone shuttered. Eyes dark and mouth drawn, Sasuke wants to know what the dobe is thinking to make his face go that…different. He isn't sure if he's seen that expression before. Sasuke nudges him with a foot. "Dobe—"

Naruto leans a forehead against the post. "Why do you let them hang all over you?"

Okay, that's sudden…but he shouldn't be surprised, even if he _had_ expected insults. The shift in thought-process surprises him into surly honesty, speaking as if it's obvious. "It's more effort to keep them away."

Naruto doesn't reply at first. "…I don't understand you. You're such an ice-dick princess—it's a wonder anyone would—it's so _stupid _to…to even…" he pauses and his voice trails into silence, on the verge of something so _peculiar_ that Sasuke waits, silent, unmoving, anticipation sweetly burning through his throat.

_To what?_ he wants to ask.

Then he hears footsteps echoing on the bridge, looks up to see Kakashi wandering past with a nose buried in his book. "Yo, Sasuke. Naruto. Nice day to be outside…been shopping?"

Sasuke drops his gaze before he can see the frustration. "Yes," he answers flatly, one hand swinging the bags.

Naruto pulls his legs onto the bridge and rises. After a moment he reaches for the cluster of plastic and hefts it. Turns under the eyes of both Sasuke and Kakashi and walks off without saying a word. Without eye contact. Without any reaction whatsoever—

Sasuke narrows his eyes and starts to follow—

"Ah, Sasuke—you should get those bruises looked at."

Pausing and hating the ice that skitters through his middle, Sasuke wets his lips, turns his head before he can make his voice level. Does he know? He wants to laugh. He must—he has to—but does he _know_? He is never sure with Kakashi; the man hides his thoughts entirely too well.

"Sure," Sasuke replies and Kakashi smiles in some unidentifiable way and saunters away.

-:-

By the time Naruto reaches his house, he's angry again, even as he sets the bags of food on the counter, then kicks at the table. One leg cracks as it skids across the small kitchen and into the wall; he doesn't care.

He stalks from the kitchen, hands flexing, furious, and shoves the couch to the wall where blood had dried into intangible black smears, hears the plaster crack under the momentum.

Sasuke's coming up the stairs and the couch rips under his hands; he tears at the fabric, then exhales hard, the door opening, and grabs an empty bowl that had been underneath the couch and flings it at the bastard's head.

Ducking, Sasuke gives him a dirty glance and the bowl shatters in the hall.

Naruto wants to _kill_ him. Instead, he grabs a hold on the couch again and starts to pull it into a different area. God-_damn_ that stupid bitch Ino —

"What the fuck is wrong with you, dobe?" Sasuke calls from the kitchen. Apparently he's noticed the table.

"Shut the hell up, Uchiha!" Naruto yells back. He heaves at the couch, pivoting it until the end swings around and _that's_ somewhat okay, not right yet—

Sasuke's watching from the kitchen and always watching and Naruto throws a cushion at him, uses the other one, then heaves at the couch again until it cracks that wall, too—

Sasuke disappears into the bedroom, eyes rolling, uncaring and disdainful and Naruto is _aware_ of how angry he is and just as aware of how he doesn't even _care_ that he wants to break things into little pieces. That stupid _bitch_—

By the time Sasuke reappears, stuffing clothes from several days into the laundry bag, Naruto feels his anger coiling into heat in his belly, recognizes it and knows what he wants without warning and tackles Sasuke, avoiding the automatic swing at his head. Somehow, he doesn't know how, he pins Sasuke to the floor and straddles him, furious, teeth bared, hands wrapped in the bastard's shirt and _lifting_, slamming him to the floor and hissing.

Sasuke's eyes are wary for the first time in _months_ and Naruto starts a breathless laugh he never finishes.

"Hurry up," he snarls or laughs or something and Sasuke's shirt rips under his hands. "Hurry up and do it so I can kick you out, you stupid _bastard_—"

Some expression flashes over the pale face and Naruto is only glad that's not hateful, even as it changes to nothing again and Sasuke doesn't speak. Doesn't move, at first, even though Naruto can feel the way his body tenses slowly, the way his dick hardens against him—Sasuke hits the inside of his elbow to knock loose his grip and Naruto lifts his hips, one hand curling into a fist and leaving one stinging punch on the bared muscle of Sasuke's chest.

Sasuke pulls down his jeans until they bunch at mid-thigh and force his legs closer together, one hand quick underneath and then Sasuke himself is bared, pressed against Naruto and it's different, it's weird, Naruto's on top and before he realizes it he's pushing _down_ onto Sasuke and he doesn't even care about the pain.

No, not right now—not while he's so _angry_ and above Sasuke but damn, again, deeper, as Sasuke bends his knees and arches up—Naruto gasps or chokes or something and lets his body bend, dropping forward until he can't see Sasuke's face when his head's pressed against the shoulder. Until his hands are flat on the floor and digging against it. Sasuke's hands are bruising his hips. Sasuke's body is quick and flexes in a way that Naruto _likes_ and recoils from and hears the noise that Sasuke makes in his middle.

Yes. This is better. Sasuke feels deep and it only takes six quick, vicious little thrusts for Naruto to come between their bodies. He knows because he counts, even as Sasuke continues four more times and finds his own. Even when Naruto tries to breathe and feels the funny rhythmic little twitch from his dick, he doesn't care.

His legs are going numb. He mumbles this in a breathless voice, absent and dizzy and closes his eyes. Sasuke's stomach quivers, but Naruto doesn't hear him laugh, if he does.

He doesn't care when Sasuke pushes him up and out and away. Naruto hits the floor on his back, still breathing hard and almost not at all, and drags at the waist of his jeans. He pulls them up, arching until they slide over the sticky mess on his stomach and fastens them. From the corner of his vision, Sasuke's doing the same. Sasuke standing, reaching for the laundry bag again, watching with that wary, cunning gaze.

Then, grunting, Naruto manages to get to his feet. "Now, get out," he mutters over his shoulder, kicks the door to the bathroom shut behind him.

-:-  
(day 23)

Naruto wakes early to the sense of someone _else_ in his apartment. Not Sasuke, someone _else—_

_Who the **fuck** do they think they are_ is the closest translation of the emotion ringing through his skull; Naruto slides from the bed and stalks to the door, flings it open—

It's only Kakashi, surprise visible on his face. "…Yo."

"Oh. It's you; what do you want?" Naruto scowls, annoyed and still tired. He pushes away the strange emotion that tightens over his spine and asks. "Are you back to take care of me now?"

"Nah. Tsunade-sama said you're improving enough without me. Seems she got past the Sasuke thing."

Naruto shrugs and scratches at his head, stretching briefly. "Doubt it. You should see the faces she makes at him when he's not looking."

"Oh, well. I guess wasn't giving you enough attention, anyway—" Kakashi seems sheepish; his voice gives it away. Naruto waits, knowing something else is coming. "So, how are things? You and Sasuke aren't fighting too much, are you"

"Not really," Naruto wants to giggle and scream at the thoughts that flicker through his mind and holds it down by biting the inside of his cheek. "Am I getting better? Tsunade-hag told you I'm getting better, right?"

_better_ _maybe I'm better and then Sasuke won't—_

"Hai, hai—she did mention your levels have decreased in fluctuation—But that's not important; Naruto, do you mind if I talk to you a moment?"

"Uh, okay?"

"So, you like having sex with Sasuke?" Kakashi says and Naruto stiffens, unavoidably.

"I don't know what you're talking about—" he manages to mutter.

Kakashi crouches to meet his eyes. "Naruto. I'm serious. Do you want this? You can tell me—I won't laugh or mock you."

And oh god the _need_ to tell, the _want_ and the hopeless lonely feeling and Naruto hesitates so long he feels like choking. He _wants_ to tell, wants to know if it's good or not; wants to see if someone _else_ knows what he should do—

"I don't know," he whispers, a moment later. "I don't know what's going on."

"With Sasuke?"

"With _me_," Naruto clenches his fists to contain it. "I thought that—I mean, because Sasuke said he lied and he really does want to—so I thought that, okay, maybe it's okay but I don't know—"

Kakashi wraps his hands around Naruto's wrists and pulls his arms down. Naruto shudders, hears him say, "Is he hurting you, Naruto?"

"N-Not really," Naruto mumbles. "I mean, we sort've fight before—" and he blushes horrible warm in the face of Kakashi's concern, his _interest, _of actually having to say it. "We usually fight and end up, um, you know." He fidgets and pulls at his arms. "Let go."

Kakashi does, and Naruto rubs at his wrists. "Do you _want_ to, Naruto? You don't have to do anything—"

"I know that," Naruto replies, upset and uncomfortable. "I can't help it sometimes."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Because of the thing that's wrong me," he explains. "Sometimes, it's…I can't stop it."

"Have you told the Hokage any of this?"

"What! Hell no, she'd get so pissed, Kakashi-sensei and then I'd have to _live_ in that stupid tower—"

Kakashi laughs. "True, true—even though you'll have to live there if you get to be Hokage."

"That's different."

"Well, we'll see, won't we? You'll have to let me know how things are going. Don't think you need to tell Tsunade-sama yet, but if Sasuke tries to really hurt you, or you feel worse about it all, I'll tell her myself. Is that okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, then, it's settled. Have fun with Sasuke; I've gotta go help some old ladies away from the sake-stands. Ja, Naruto."

"…bye…" Naruto trails off, smoke drifting away and Kakashi's already gone by the time his voice stops echoing.

-:-

"We need to talk," Kakashi announces without warning. He leans against her desk, the door still swinging shut as she looks up to notice him.

"...Oh?" Tsunade looks puzzled. Her face clears into trepidation. "Is it about Naruto?"

"Yes. Saw them the other day outside at the Ichiraku. All in all, Naruto's healing at a slower rate, Sasuke's bruised to hell, and Naruto had a violent moodswing when one of Sakura's friends, Ino-or-something, threw her arms around Sasuke—but I don't think he was aware of just how hostile he was. His chakra fluctuated during that moment, and…well, that was odd too." he pauses as a thought passes through his face and he looks away.

Tsunade doesn't hear the murmur as she sits back, thinking and adding it to her list of symptoms. "Not if he's fighting off instincts, and...I wonder if that's why—wait, bruises on Sasuke—Naruto said they haven't been fighting—"

Kakashi, smiling sheepishly, stepped backward out of reach. "Ah, about that...It wasn't from fighting, Hokage-sama."

Tsunade curses softly, viciously, painfully and drops her face against her palm. Takes a deep breath and goes "God-_dammit_—already? It hasn't even been three weeks—"

"Don't worry, I've already asked Naruto about that—you're not supposed to know, by the way, because he's still deciding if he likes it or not."

"Doesn't—still deciding—Kakashi, how can I just _sit _here? What if Sasuke _hurts_ him?"

"Oh, about Sasuke… I don't think you should confront him forcefully, just yet." Kakashi reached up and scratched at his hair, eye wandering until he found the words he wanted. "He might react badly if you're...over-protective. I don't think he was ever instructed, um, _about_ sex...and that seems to be the only problem at the moment. These boys—"

"What do you mean, never instructed?"

"I don't think Naruto or Sasuke know _how_," Kakashi said blandly. "In fact, I don't believe Sasuke even knows what lube is. It might help the situation if someone were, well, explain to him..."

She stares up at him, blank and surprised.

"So, have fun with that!" He waves jauntily and gone in the next moment and she's too late too stop him.

"_Hatake Kakashi_—!"

-:-

Sasuke stands before the door to the Hokage's more private rooms and knows. He thinks he does, anyway—afterall, Kakashi likely knows and thus, the stupid Hokage-woman would know.

He wonders if this is going to be the end of it.

"Get in here, Uchiha!" she finally calls and sounds…thoughtful. Amused.

Okay, maybe she _doesn't_…Sasuke pushes open the door and enters to see the woman behind her desk with a deck of cards in her hands. The desk is clear and she shuffles, glancing at him once.

"Yes, Hokage-sama?" he asks, automatically.

"You're a stupid, uneducated brat," she says unceremoniously and Sasuke scowls before he can stop it. "Sit down."

Sasuke complies to sit in the small chair. Her hands flick and five cards slid neatly in front of him.

_What the hell?_ he thinks, suspiciously. He raises his eyes to her face, again, waiting—what the hell was this? She holds her own set of cards in the left hand and with the right, reaches into the space of her kimono—

—_kunai or shuriken or needles_, Sasuke thinks, briefly, ready to react—

—and pulls out a small, round container the size of a plum. She sets it on the desk forcefully. It sounds like porcelain. Then she leans back, impassive, and fans her cards. "Well? You know what poker is, right?"

…_poker?_ Sasuke thinks. _She brought me here to play poker?_ "Why are we playing poker?" he mutters sullenly, confused, and sure as hell not going to show it. "For that?" He glances to the small thing again.

"Yes. One hand, one deal. Best cards win."

Sasuke reaches for the cards and picks them up. He examines them. "But why—"

"Because I say so. _And_," she emphasizes, words cold and angry and thoughtful, all at once. "If you want to continue to fuck him, you need to do it right and not like a stupid brat you are."

Cold and blinking, legs tense, Sasuke flicks his gaze to her face—it could be a trap she could be attacking any second—

She peers at him from over her cards, still impassive. "That's why we're playing for lube," and she smiles, suddenly, sweetly.

Sasuke blushes, embarrassed and angry and…uncertain. He doesn't like this feeling. He shifts, uncomfortably and eyes the woman suspiciously again—god she knew she knew she _knew _and part of him is sure she'll try to kill him in his sleep—

But…lube?

Wait, was this…permission?

Shaken, vague, Sasuke chokes down whatever hideous laughter-thing that's clawing up his middle—permission this was fucking permission—and fans out his cards, displays them. He doesn't know if they're good cards or not.

"…shit," she mutters after a moment. The cards are tossed to the table. "Damn. I assume you know how to use this?" she replies with that veiled look again. She pushes the vial towards him. "Or should I draw you a picture?"

Sasuke doesn't speak, instead he stares at the little black object, the blood in his veins pounding just under his ears. "I know enough," he manages after a moment, because that stuff was…she was _trying_ to embarrass him, trying—damn her!

"Good, let's get one thing straight. This will _not_ deter you from your duties, Uchiha. I expect you to continue to report to me if anything changes…and if you break him, I'll break off your dick, you understand?"

"Yes," Sasuke breathes and stops; anything else will come out as hysterical laughter and he knows that she isn't at all happy with this—she _still _wants to hit him. It's in her face, the tapping of her fingernails.

He doesn't doubt that she will do exactly as she says.

This throws it all onto a whole different level.

"I expect you to return if you need more," the Hokage lets a small, horrible mocking smile pass over her face and Sasuke wants to spit in her face, wants to hit her—

Sasuke reaches for the lube, finally. It's cold in his fingers. The stopper is a bit of wood. _This changes everything,_ he thinks, grudgingly ready to admit respect for her, even though she _knows_ she can't stop him, now—because she still scares him. But now…

_**Now **it's a challenge._

_.:TBC:_

omg…**_update x2—had to repost because of a few holes._** (ie, part of the conversation between Kakashi and Tsunade.)

Yeah. So. You like? Hopefully Sasuke isn't too…messed up…wait, who the hell am I kidding. I like him messed up. It's just better this way. I didn't plan some of the stuff that happens…but hey. It was fun. :D

Oh. In case you're wondering…the divergence for this story takes place during the chuunin exam. Why? Where?

Well, in my opinion, Orochimaru—who will be making an appearance further on—never had the intention of giving Sasuke his curse-seal. So, he doesn't. Why? Because Sasuke, in this story, is so fucked up he still doesn't quite get the 'team' thing. So he never really fights back at that crucial moment.

Everything afterwards still happens, though.

And now…everything starts to change. Everything. Every-goddamn-thing and you aren't gonna see it coming. (at least, I hope you won't…XD…)


	6. six

**:Warning/Disclaimer:**  
The characters don't belong to me, but the plot and the story do. There will be lots of sex, swearing, and abuse. Hey, lookit that.**  
_Rated R for a reason, people!_ _Read accordingly_**_  
__I like swearing,I like sex, and I like making two boys do it!  
_Anyway, Sasuke's not a happy camper, and Naruto's…not normal anyway, so I've thrown them together, dashed in some angst and wrote this up.They've got all current attacks and issues, except that Sasuke -still angsty- doesn't run off. He just broods. A lot. Lots and lots of brooding.  
So, on the grounds of _yaoi_, I give you this dark, unhappy (kinda) lovestory.  
**:OIY – One last warning. This chapter ALSO has some explicit stuff…swearing, sex (_my god more sex?_) and moodswings. Moodswings are awesome:**

**white, surge red  
**part 6  
(until day 31)

Sasuke's dreams, now, are of muted colors of soft grays and reds and blacks. By morning, he doesn't remember anything but the vague backwash of hate and fear and strange, clutching desperation. These things are pushed away with the embarrassment of lurching up out of sleep with clammy skin and the overwhelming urge to _fight_ something, anything, throat aching and hands clenched.

He never dreams of anything more than colors. Nothing more. Never more.

--

Consensual.

Consensual implies a sort of surrender, submission. This tiny, bland item…such a small thing to have such heavy, disturbing echoes.

Naruto doesn't know he has it and the notion of it hovers within the corners of his mind, but Sasuke won't allow it any closer. He waits, nervous and giddy over it for the next eight days. Better to wait. Better to keep it from his thoughts by training or minor missions. Plan this. Harder to ignore it as every day brings him within touching distance—_No_, he tells himself. _I will wait, plan_…_manipulate_.

Even if it's tucked within reach away in Sasuke's holster, he sets himself to ignore the cold porcelain as firmly as he ignores Naruto's presence. He can't allow it out of reach—didn't dare, even as part of him writhes at the mere _thought _of what it would do—

Oh yes, too much of him is curious, _wrongly_ curious. Sasuke knows, shuddering, that he shouldn't be so interested. It's not right. It can't be right. If it was different, if it made it better, easier, faster—

Sasuke stops and pulls his hand from the unobtrusive lump in his holster, scowling with no one around to see and pushes away a sense of something too close to panic.

Better to ignore it.

--

(day 33)

Two days later, Sasuke makes his decision and sets the bag of groceries onto the counter. His thumb brushes the round thing still hidden, eyes narrow in some amused conceit. Exhales. Refocuses on the bag before him, reaches up and opens the nearest cabinet. He had to finish.

Sasuke stops before he sets the apples on the glasses and examines the space before him. He _knows_ he had just bought the canned vegetables that are nowhere to be seen. They _should_ have been behind the mismatched assortment of glassware.

But they weren't.

Sasuke's first thought is that Naruto must be stashing them somewhere, but he knows the idiot never bothers to rearrange anything except for his ramen. Sasuke yanks open the next, scans it and opens another. Then the drawers, under the sink, and finally the near-empty pantry in a rising mix of anger and excitement. He drags his hand from his holster again. Stands and fumes.

It's not just the vegetables.

His second thought is that Naruto _could_ be throwing them away just to piss him off. Sasuke wouldn't put it past him. A cupboard door cracks under the pressure of slamming shut and Sasuke storms from the kitchen.

Sasuke thuds a heel into the back of the couch to catch Naruto's attention. "—_I just bought_ those vegetables, canned fruit and dried noodles _yesterday,_ so where the fuckdid you put them_?"_

Naruto opens one eye from where he had dragged it into the patch of sunlight earlier. "The what?" and has to react quickly to avoid the kick aimed at the middle of his back. "Asshole! Fuck off, I don't know what you're talking about!" he snaps with narrow blue eyes, watching him sullenly, stretched along the back of the couch, warm in sunlight that colored his hair white-gold and his skin paler than the Uchiha remembers it being—

"The stuff I've bought. It's gone. _You're _the only one here, so where is it, dobe?" Sasuke goes one step closer, standing over him, thumb to leather. _You stupid little bastard_ he thinks and the porcelain shifts under his fingers. _Stupid so **stupid**—_

"Grow tits already, you bitch," Naruto mutters, finally shifting, propped on his side with a chin on his palm, eyes glinting blue through wheaten hair.

Sasuke shouldn't take the bait—but something mocking in Naruto's face gnaws into him and Sasuke doesn't care that he should be beyond foolish manipulation like this. His mouth twitches into a snarl and his knees crack on the wood and before Naruto can stop him, he has a handful of the fabric at his shoulder, yanking the idiot away from his couch and dropping a heavy fist in the direction of his head.

Naruto takes the blow on his shoulder while rolling with momentum and lands hard on the floor, flat on his back. One sharp, harsh exhalation and Sasuke drags him far enough to straddle and pin his legs, enduring the elbow to the chin and the stars in his vision from biting his tongue, shrill cursing to match the scratching, hand flying to the holster for a few needles—

Fingers meet cool porcelain—oh god that's right he had—

Sasuke's next inhalation is measured and shallow, arm over Naruto's broadening chest and one hand pinning a wrist to their sides. _Deliberately?_ Sasuke thinks, small and bright and almost instantly forgotten. _Did he want to—did he—**would** he do this on purpose?_ and doesn't know if it matters, because wouldn't that mean more pain? More pain and heartache and betrayal—the bastard had to know—  
—_no!_—  
Sasuke settles back without letting up the pressure, skin throbbing, dizzy, because Naruto isn't putting up a fight and he's torn between _wanting _one instead of just digging in the barb of besting him like this.

"Bastard," Naruto sneers. "Get off my throat, fucker, I can't breathe—"

There are no words of acceptance, and no refusal

Sasuke wraps his hand over the orb, exhaling through the taste of blood, pulls his hand away and out again. "Turn over," he replies hoarsely, mocking.

"Fuckin' make me!" Naruto snaps. He pulls out an unexpected counter-twist and kicks, nearly tossing Sasuke off—but Sasuke lands on one elbow and Naruto is yanking on his hair—again with the _hair_, the goddamn stupid _hair_—

Sasuke bites at the wrist so near his face, grazing skin and trying to keep the blond from removing any of his hair. Hint of salt on his tongue, biting again and hears Naruto make a squalling pain-noise—

"_Ow_ you dickless _bitch_—!"

—and when Naruto punches him with the other, Sasuke doesn't avoid it; it'd be pointless to try.

By the end of the scuffle, Sasuke's hair is all over his face but Naruto is still pinned, still on his back. Sasuke aches with bruises and it hurts to breathe but he doesn't even register it. Naruto has no expression with Sasuke's fingers under the shirt and Sasuke's certain he isn't waiting for one. He's snared too deep in the heat of the idiot beneath him and the sunlight around them.

"Someone could see," Naruto hisses, shoving at him. "You think I want someone to _see_ this?"

"Do you think I _care_?" Sasuke mocks, narrows his eyes. Inhales. Curls his other hand around black porcelain. He stares down in challenge, waiting, certain, then thumbs open the button on Naruto's jeans and waits a little more.

—_I _don't_ care I don't I **don't—**_

Naruto's hands twitch from their protective grasp over his bared stomach, flexing flat over skin. Then he stops, averting blue eyes to some point elsewhere. It's all Sasuke needs, almost sneering as he grabs the jeans and hikes them down past the knees. Spread across both legs, Sasuke rucks up his own cotton shirt and pushes it out of his way and finally catches the shift in Naruto's face when he unfastens the old, loose shorts he scavenged this morning.

Confusion or something very close to it—he isn't sure with the idiot's face turned away, but Sasuke would rather stay lost in the momentary victory and he pushes the shorts to his knees.

—_I don't because I hate you I hate you hate you—_

It takes a second or so to uncork the round vial and tip it into his palm. It spreads and smells almost herbal—

"—what's that?" Naruto asks, sharply, half-upright on his elbows.

"Shut up," Sasuke's voice is hoarse, his hand pushing until Naruto falls back, noting the blue eyes watching the way Sasuke closes his fingers together and the thumb smears the oil, dancing away from the expanse of skin and groin to watch Sasuke's insolent half-wild scowl—

Naruto watches with confused disbelief all the way until Sasuke sets a hand between his legs and puts it to use.

"What the _hell_?" Naruto exclaims, a touch shrill, up on the elbow again.

Sasuke glares and tests the slickness with a twist of his wrist, un-amused that Naruto had tried to kick him in the head by reflex. "Shut the fuck up, you stupid dobe!"

"But—but you're—" Naruto arches in confusion, squirming, because Sasuke knows what he's _supposed_ to do, but it's still weird to feel. "—you've just—what the _fuck_ are you doing?"

The noise of his hand pulling free is lost in Sasuke's urge to laugh; the blond is braced high enough to watch the way Sasuke wraps his oil-stained fingers around himself. The way it slicks over skin even as Sasuke pushes Naruto back down and onto him at the same time and, slipping, in—Naruto's hands clutch at his shoulder and forearm—as he slides in deeper with a groan, he thinks—

_oh this makes a world of difference—_

Sasuke can't help the way he watches the sweetness of Naruto's embarrassment forming on his face and drives his hips forward. Again with a rolling twist, again again _again_, watching, braced on his arms—

Until even Naruto turns his head to hide the muffled gasps, eyes flickering shut. Until his mouth shapes _"_—_aahhw_—the _fuck_–the hell is this?" in a high, breathy voice and Sasuke watches him arch and feels it echo around him—again until the slickness of their act unsnaps through Naruto without warning and the blond squeezes his eyes shut to avoid him. Watches the staggered breath, Naruto too quickly overcome to do anything more than clutch weakly and throw his head back, the line of his throat exposed. Sasuke wants to bite it. He's staring.

The expression on his face is something Sasuke's never seen before, and it's all—  
_— sweet vindictive—  
_—Sasuke curves his back and sinks claws into his pleasure, holding it down as fiercely as he holds down Naruto, until Naruto does nothing more than breathe underneath him. Sasuke holds and falls within act of sex until the heat of the sun is out-matched, until Sasuke is sure that release will break him apart it's so vicious—sudden glass-shard sweetness—

—the red of it hums in high octave behind his vision andthe white-water noise fades from his skull before he manages to take a breath, biting away the sound so close to the one Naruto had made. His arms hurt to bend, but he does it anyway, buckling down over Naruto until he can breathe without holding himself up.

"…what the hell was that?" Naruto's voice is cracking, vibrating with the hollow rush of air in and out the chest. Sasuke can hear it through the wrinkled, rucked-up shirt; beneath it, echoing, he feels the thud-thump of the heart in his chest.

"…lube. I can't believe you're that stupid," Sasuke whispers, shuddering at the sensation of disengaging and rolls as gracefully as possible to his back in the sunlight. Sasuke hitches at his shorts so his legs can bend and stretches briefly in the sun, eyes shut and exhaling.

A leg still propped against the ratty couch, Naruto makes an irritable noise, face hidden. "Yeah, well, if _you_ knew what it was, why'd you wait so long to use it, bastard?"

"Who says I want to use it every time?"

--  
(day 37)

Tsunade seems quiet the next time she arrives to check his stability, but Naruto doesn't point it out; he's too busy avoiding her eyes to care if she's mad or not. She probably is. That in itself wasn't so bad, except Sasuke hadn't stopped by, yet. The lube thing, however new, is…different. It's almost acceptable.

Which meant, to Naruto's growing discomfort, that he might have to sit and control his temper just in case Sasuke decided to show up when Tsunade was still here. Fuck. She probably _did_ know because Kakashi's an asshole sometimes and Naruto wouldn't put it past that stupid teacher to go off and tell her anyway—

"Well," she muses finally, drawing her hand back from his stomach. "Put your shirt on."

"Well _what_?" Naruto replies, shrugging the t-shirt back over his head. He has to ask; he can't stand it. Naruto scowls after Tsunade does and hopes one last time the asshole won't show up—something about a situation with Tsunade and Sasuke having a stare-of-death contest made him feel sick.

"How am I today? Kakashi-bastard says I'm getting better—"

"…sex does _wonders_ for you," she mutters barely under her breath.

"Eh—wha—_Huh?"_

"Well, it's true, isn't it? Stop blushing already, you're sixteen already, act like it. Besides, you weren't going to _tell_ me about it, were you?" She pauses with a piercing look and Naruto drowns in his embarrassment and the resounding _She **does **know!_

Then she keeps on talking. "We need to discuss this anyway, if I'm to ever figure this out. Does it bother you? _Do_ you like it?"

Naruto finally digs past the sheer mortification and grumbles an answer. "It's not—I don't…It doesn't bother me."

"And that's _it_?" Tsunade pokes him teasingly one hand to his stomach and the smooth skin of his chest. "Huh. How do _you _feel about it? How does the famous Uchiha kiss, anyway?"

Naruto blinks, awkward. "Kiss?" he says, indignant, blushing again. "Why would I—that's not funny! The bastard's never kissed me 'cause that classroom thing was an _accident_, dammit, and why the fuck would I want him to?"

Tsuande doesn't know whether to laugh or blink in puzzlement. "So you _don't_ like him?" she muses, raising a brow. "So why, brat? I probably shouldn't have let Jiraiya train you, huh?"

"That's not funny!" Naruto snaps, scowling and jerking his head around so he didn't have to look at her—exposing the uncomfortable blush spreading to the back of his neck. "Stupid hag. It's not like that."

_Kiss_? he baffles internally. _Why the hell would we kiss?_ _I don't **want** to kiss him—Should we be kissing?_

"…and?"

"It's just—we just—" Naruto shrugs and crosses his arms, eyes averted, and struggles over the awkwardness of _talking _about something like this with _Tsunade_, of all people—never mind the fact she was a doctor, and over fifty. "It's not like that because I can't…stop it…sometimes."

"No, I suppose you can't." the Hokage reaches up and takes his chin in hand, turning his face to the side and touching his temple with her fingers. "Naruto…Instincts are just that, _instincts._ You may have them, just like thoughts, but you're not a simple animal. Not a demon. Not a monster. It doesn't change who you are."

Naruto doesn't respond. He can't believe her. It didn't matter or not, _something _was changing, something was getting worse, and he hated that she couldn't see he didn't have a _choice_ anymore.

--  
(day 38)

Naruto's curled up on the couch under his blanket when Sasuke shows up before noon. Ignoring his presence, the first thing Sasuke does is set water to boil for rice and unpacks the replacement items bought that morning. Most of them he hides in a bag behind the fridge.

The bag of laundry from yesterday is undisturbed, so Sasuke drags that into the bedroom while the rice cooks.

--

The sex-thing has happened often enough that it seems almost normal to see Sasuke in various states of undress, to fight and fuck and annoy the hell out of him anytime he can, especially on the days he tries to follow Sasuke outside.

But today, underneath, Naruto is more disturbed by the soft fluttering panic. By now, after so long and after everything, he knows it's instinct like Tsunade said. _Had_ to be. No way _anyone_ would feel these things and _do_ this—not with the passing out and sleeping and everything _else_—even Sasuke—it had to be instincts.

He doesn't care about Sasuke, or having sex with Sasuke anymore. _Instinct_ could mean the fox is consuming him, bit by bit—oh god, what if it _was_? What if it _was _and he doesn't know what to do and can't begin to know how to control it. Control it—was it even possible? It was driving him mad, not knowing what to do, not when it should bother him more than it does, much more.

And all he can think of that day, examining the close-up weave of the blanket over his face is

—_waiting still waiting_—

impression that leaves him cold. It lodges in his mind and Naruto doesn't bother to fight the peculiar tension that prickles down his spine.

He can hear Sasuke's curses in the bedroom, and a moment later the other comes stomping through his living room. Naruto raises his senses to track his progression, sitting still and flexing hands under his blanket. Sasuke's chakra is jolting with whatever pissed him off again, but Naruto doesn't mind. He only waits, thoughts of instinct and worry fading.

A moment later, a shadow falls over his blanket and Naruto summons enough energy to whisper hoarsely "Get out—" and hears Sasuke's angry hiss-noise.

"What'd she do," Sasuke mocks. "Castrate you?"

"Fuck off," Naruto replies. His fingers hurt around the handle of the kunai but he doesn't let up his grip. "I mean it. Get out. I don't want shit from you today, you stupid bastard, _get out_—"

"—stupid _dobe_," is Sasuke's reply and as expected, tugs on the blanket—

Naruto slashes at the first expanse of skin in view—Sasuke's arm—and leaves a line of bright blood. He watches what he can see of the Uchiha stumble back. "Get out or I'll twist your nuts off—" he snarls and doesn't raise his head to let the blanket slide. Could have, but doesn't because Sasuke would see his face and mock him for what was left of crying. That was weakness on a whole different level.

"Hn," Sasuke raises his arm out of sight, probably to examine the blood on his arm, the depth of the cut and Naruto's intentions. "Something wrong?" and his voice is light, mocking him again.

The blond knows if Sasuke decides to attack him, he'd have only a slim chance to do anything about it. Something in him doesn't care. "Go away." The blanket's drab gray color catches his eye and he _hates it—_just as he knows there isn't anything better—

"…You won't stop me tomorrow," Sasuke finally concedes, furious in smooth, icy tones.

"I probably won't _care _tomorrow. Get the fuck out, asshole." Naruto listens as the Sasuke's presence pounds toward the kitchen and he smells the rice a moment later; then Sasuke's gone almost as quickly. The door slams, cracking and Naruto waits until he can't sense the chakra anymore. After that, only _after _does he turn back to his blanket and where he wants to put it.

**--  
**(day 39)

Sasuke is more than pleased with the gash on his arm. It's better this way. Naruto is a threat, still a threat, and he won't make the mistake of treating him as less. Naruto is strong, but not stronger. Sasuke'll _prove _it, no matter he needed to give his arm eleven stitches.

This wouldn't be worth anything if Naruto didn't keep his unpredictability—

Dragging Naruto off the damn couch is the first thing he does; the second is to take the punch aimed at his groin on a thigh. Naruto coils his legs and upsets his balance and Sasuke lands on his ass. Naruto's wild eyes are somewhat alarming, but Sasuke won't remember the way he looked until later—his mouth is bleeding and Sasuke's hands aren't strong enough to break the grip on his hair—so he pulls backward with his weight and pulls Naruto on top of him—

It _hurts_ because Naruto's hip jams against his dick in the wrong way and Sasuke gets out one pained grunt before Naruto yanks on his hair, his face an inch or so away, teeth bared, _furious_ and Sasuke hears himself laughing.

Another painful yank on his hair; Sasuke stops laughing, teeth glinting behind the hard line of the mouth. Naruto's hands are shaking, the wildness in his face something Sasuke refuses to define. "Don't _fight_ me," the Uchiha snarls in a winded voice and doesn't move.

"—_I hate—_" Naruto strangles out, jaw clenching so tight he can't say any more—in a movement too fast to follow without the sharingan, his fist goes back—

—_hit me fight me hate me damn you!—_Sasuke doesn't flinch as it grazes past and collides with the floor.

There are no words after that…and when it's finished, Sasuke limps to the door, thrilled and satisfied.

The last thing he does is scrawl a note and pins it to the door by driving a senbon two inches deep into the wood. _Then_ he leaves, content to leave things as they were.

_Market tomorrow. Downstairs at ten._

--  
(day 42)

Sometime between Sasuke's usual ice-bitch silence, Naruto's deliberate irritation and the culmination of their violence, Naruto gets up off the floor of his bedroom. Sasuke must be gone; his particular prickle-chakra sense had faded long ago. Now he's thirsty, making his way for one of the water bottles the asshole leaves behind the garbage can—

—and walks right past Sasuke out cold on the couch. If Naruto hadn't glanced over everything in the corner out of habit, he would've missed the inky hair just above the back of the couch.

As is, Naruto takes one look, one step out of habit, then stops short.

Sasuke…

…was sleeping…on _his_ couch? Naruto stares, already scratching his head in his confusion, silent and sore and…at a loss. Sasuke. On his couch. _Sleeping_.

Huh. It's never happened before because Sasuke's made appoint of never staying longer than necessary…and he's already had his clothes dropped off and they've…Naruto pushes his mind from the brutal tangle on his bedroom floor earlier and stands there. This is something unexpected.

Before he realizes it, Naruto creeps up to the couch, angling to the side to make sure Sasuke was _really_ sleeping and not just pulling some sort of trick. He wouldn't doubt the bastard to do something as twisted as this, but Naruto doesn't remember if he's ever had the chance to _see_ Sasuke sleep, much less the _unguarded_ kind. Never been close enough or inclined to study the delicate blue tint to his lids, thick sooty lashes and the un-pressed mouth.

—never _ever_ had the though that Sasuke's mouth _looks_ _soft_ _when he sleeps _and stops it before it sinks too far. This is fucked up. Sasuke shouldn't be sleeping on his couch…

_Yeah, well, I shouldn't be staring at him thinking stupid thoughts—_

He debates with the common sense of ignoring the sight, or doing something about it—he could end up with Sasuke trying to kill him or something if he pulled out the marker…

Naruto reaches out to poke him in the forehead, maybe to wake him up, and grazes thick black hair—suddenly flustered, he smacks the back of the head instead and vanishes back into his bedroom.

--

"Tsunade-sama?" comes just before a sharp, single knock. "I've finished the charts and reports you requested."

Blinking, Tsunade raises her eyes from the mind-dulling papers spread before her. "Come in, Shizune. How incredibly lucky! I was wishing for something other than this shitty paperwork today."

Shizune smiles and lays out several folders and a small stack of stapled papers. "Here, blood-tests. Nothing abnormal, no mutation. His height has increased by two inches and—"

"Is this the charted chakra patterns?" Tsunade asks, raising one flap of a folder.

"Yes, that one—" Shizune leaned over the desk, one painted nail skimming along certain points. "I've started from age nine—as well as I could, anyway, with the Sandaime's incomplete records."

"It's accurate?"

"Within 83 percent, yes. The school does routine chakra exams every few months on every student."

"I see." Tsunade taps her finger at the soft blue ink that represents Naruto's normal chakra. She traces a line on the paper with her own fingernail, tapping it again.

She stares at the charts and thinks of sullen, impassive eyes in a too-pretty face.

_And that_, she thinks, worried, _What_ _is that?_ she thinks. _I don't understand that! It almost seems in rhythm. That has to be related to sex. Is it from the Uchiha boy? It has to be._

But why is it…why does it keep changing? 

Slowly, without ever realizing it, Tsunade nips at one fingernail with a worried frown. Kakashi had been right. It was Sasuke who fit the bill of Naruto's cure, sullen stubborn Sasuke—and she didn't like it. Naruto was—_Uchiha_ was—

She just didn't think it would work. She couldn't do anything about it.

"Tsunade-sama?"

"Hmm?" she glances up. "Oh—right. You've done a good job; I'll have to study them carefully. I have some ideas, now, so thank you, Shizune."

Shizune smiles and reaches out to pat her shoulder gently. "He's doing better. That's something, right?"

"I hope so," Tsunade replies, softly. "…now I just need to figure out where his chakra keeps going."

--  
(day 45)

The couch has settled into a semi-permanent spot; just far enough from the window and angled to catch as much sun as possible. Sasuke hasn't seen Naruto slide the thing around at all in the last few days and wonders if that's the end of it.

Sasuke stands there on the edge between kitchen and the rest of the apartment, watching Naruto sleep stretched out in the sun. They haven't fucked in three days or so and Naruto isn't awake.

He can't name what makes him step forward, but standing over Naruto is just as familiar as tugging down the sweatpants with his fingertips. It might be the residual irritation of waking _up _here when he hadn't intended to, or waiting for Naruto to wake and knowing he won't, even when Sasuke pulls them all the way to the knees. It doesn't matter. Sasuke tilts his head as he pushes away the shirt and studies the exposed line of the spine. The thoughts in his head are exiled to silence as his attention waits for Naruto to wake, to respond, what he would do—  
_seemehatemefightme  
_—but nothing, yet. Sasuke unzips his shorts, unaware of his mouth parting. Of swallowing. Naruto doesn't respond. The shorts drag down his hips and Sasuke pulls the vial out, opens and anoints himself with oil; after a moment he reaches out and smears the excess up the cleft between Naruto's legs. Up and putting his left knee on the couch, Sasuke braces on unsteady arms along the idiot's sides and slides snug against the curve of hip and ass

The feeling uncoiling through his middle fractures into sour, twisting excitement. By now, there's no reason to be careful not to wake him, not at this point. Supported on a shaking left arm, Sasuke exhales a half-drawn breath and uses his right to position himself before grabbing tightly at the bend of Naruto's hip and driving forward. He shudders at the rough and slick sensation of entry, moves deeper, harder for the pleasure of it.

A soft murmur below draws Sasuke's eyes to what he can see of Naruto's face, waiting and pleased with the sharper, surprised grunt as Sasuke rolls forward again; the next draws a crack of blue under the lashes.

Naruto gasps through a series of uneven thrusts and his hands flex on the couch. The blond slowly tucks his arms down brace himself. Sasuke releases Naruto's hip and stretches for the arm of the couch. Drives deeper with the angle and does it again to hear the couch squeaking in time to his thrusts and Naruto's insistent little noises.

"_God—_" shreds from his mouth, intending to say _Goddamn you! _for some unknown, fumbling reason. Stupid. It was so _stupid_. Always stupid had to be _stupid_—

Sasuke doesn't know he's gasping or sobbing as Naruto comes below him, drawing tight so quickly it left stars in Sasuke's vision; doesn't care with the pleasure like fractured quartz numbing the edge. Sasuke watches the flushed, lip-bitten Naruto through his lashes as he falls through release, watches as Naruto fails to silence his noises and thinks _Why?_ _He likes it. He must—_

—_he can't!_ a part of him cries, masked in anger. Sasuke pushes it away to separate himself, insanely pleased at the fine tremor in Naruto's hips and thighs and almost chokes on something that felt like laughter. He doesn't like this, of course. He can't. He makes sure there aren't any stains on the front of his shorts, finally rises on muscle-sore legs and stops long enough to find his shirt and essential possessions before the door shuts behind him.

Naruto waits longer than ten minutes before he trusts his legs to hold him and the shaky, damaged feelings to fade back into control.

--  
(day 49)

In the bedroom, Sasuke counts the slashes on the corner of the windowsill that afternoon and smirks. They hadn't been there a few days ago. _Keeping track now?_ he thinks with a prickly sort of thrill; so _close_ so fucking close he could taste it bleeding on his tongue.

Instead, he shoves article after article of dirty clothing into the laundry sack…and stops at the sight of balled-up, stained orange pants near the bottom of the pile. It smells sour and swampy, and as Sasuke pulls it out of the mess with only a finger, he realizes it's more _black _than orange. Mud. Dark stubborn _mud-_stains all over Naruto's pants—

"Son of a _bitch._"

--  
(day 57)

It doesn't happen every day.

Today is one of those days, and Naruto is perfectly fine with that. Sasuke had appeared and vanished with nothing more than a bag of laundry and a frozen glare. In return, Naruto had flipped him off, uneasy and wondering if Sasuke was going to take that as a different sort of gesture, but the bastard had walked right back out.

Okay. He could deal with that.

Ten minutes or so after Sasuke had stomped back downstairs, Naruto finally admits he's downright bored, something he's been fighting with since the moment he woke. He wants to follow Sasuke. Wants to spar, to train, to go back to normal—

So in the space of Sasuke leaving and Naruto's boredom, the blond decides to slip out the window and follow the dark-haired boy as he hadn't made the choice to, before. Besides, permission was permission; it didn't matter if someone was supposed to be with him or not.

Sasuke has him by the arm two blocks down the road. "What the fuck are you doing, dobe?" He shakes him roughly by his arm. Then the Uchiha pushes him back with a disgruntled exhale. "I told you to stop sneaking out, idiot. You know I'd let you stay in the gutter if you _faint_, right?"

Blinking, Naruto wonders if the flash of emotion in the black eyes meant something. "I'm bored to hell," he states, scowling. In response, Sasuke only stares with narrowed eyes. "Maybe I'm taking a walk, jackass."

"Go back to your apartment," the Uchiha finally mutters with dour exasperation. "I've got better shit to do than babysit."

"But I—you're training!" Naruto exclaims. "I know you're training! You always wear those shirts and those stupid bracers when you do—" Naruto gestures to the plain gray tee and Sasuke's arms. He _knew _he was right, and there was mild interest in those dark eyes now. Maybe—

"Why would I let you _see_ my training?" Sasuke mocks, brow arching.

"Hey, but—"

"Go _home_, dobe. It's not like you can train."

"We could do taijutsu! I'm not good at it and I'm sure it doesn't drain me any more than my normal exercises—"

"You're not _supposed_ to exercise," Sasuke points out waspishly. "That woman will kill me if she finds out."

Sheepish, Naruto only shrugs, lacing his hands behind his head. "So? _I _don't care if she kills you," he teases.

Sasuke tucks his hands into his pockets, scowling. After a long pause, his mouth thins and draws up slightly in the corner and Naruto wonders if Sasuke knows he's almost smiling.

"You're going to get your ass kicked, you know."

"Uh huh," Naruto concedes, grinning in challenge. Sasuke turns without replying and Naruto falls into step. "You'll have to earn it, though."

--

Naruto's presence is irritating and familiar itch. The blond had been serious about training, so Sasuke decided on a light sparring match. Naruto's skill is, as expected, substandard. But it was training, and Naruto was strong, even if Sasuke refused to admit it on any level but subconscious.

Naruto backs off by mid-afternoon, getting up with a muttered, "I say 'Fuck this' for now," and sits down in the shade.

Smirking, Sasuke gathers up his kunai and sets about half-a-dozen different wires, traps and exploding tags in the high canopy. After touching back to ground, he gathers himself and triggers them as if they were enemy traps and he had no time to spare. Then he does it again to refine his reactions.

Naruto watches the entire thing for over an hour with surprise, envy and a grudging admiration hidden carefully behind indifference.

When Sasuke catches him looking, Naruto shouts "You were sloppy on that last one!"

"Bullshit," Sasuke calls back. "You're blind _and_ retarded—"

"Retarded my ass! A _retard_ could've ducked the wire _then_ disconnected the third trap under the left wire-line—"

Sasuke had, in fact, done the opposite and moved faster than expected to avoid the backlash. It had worked reasonably well, so he smirked and turned away to gather up the wires and spent weaponry. Behind him, Naruto hollers out his opinion on everything from Sasuke's choice in "stupid elm-trees" to Sasuke's "stupid hair."

Sasuke does his best to ignore it and only throws two shuriken into the bark over the idiot's head. It feels good to train, and even better to know that Naruto was weak enough to just sit there.

Getting to his feet, Naruto yanks them out and Sasuke hears them _zuh-hnk-nk _back on each side in the tree behind him. With an indifferent expression, Sasuke glances over his shoulder, the left shuriken already in his hand and going for the right.

As they leave the training grounds, Naruto offers up suggestions that Sasuke scorns. Insults are met with insults and Naruto trots beside him without a smile, completely serious and focused on him.

Sasuke can't name this horrid urge to _do_ something, anything, whatever he _could_ to get rid of this itchy, uncomfortable feeling. Listening with half his attention on the blond and half still poking hesitantly over this _thing_, Sasuke notes into memory some of the changes Naruto insists on sharing. He has no problems in taking the dobe's ideas; it's only preparation after all.

"—but I bet you could reflect those and get twice as much damage—"

"Stupid," Sasuke can't resist rolling his eyes. "That would leave me open."

"Then you should _move_, dumbass," Naruto rolls his eyes and scuffs up the leaves. "And you think _I'm_ stupid."

"Hn. It wouldn't work."

"Bullshit. You'd make it work somehow," Naruto replies casually, shrugging. "You're good like that."

To his credit, Sasuke doesn't stumble when the twitchy, odd uncomfortable _thing_ tumbles through him, darting a glance to Naruto's face for any mocking expression and knows, somewhere, there won't be.

--  
(day 61)

"Do you get a lot of visitors?"

"Huh?" Startled, Naruto turns his head from staring in the direction of the door. They're in the middle of another chakra exam although Naruto can't figure out _why_; he had one two days ago—and now there were—Tsunade pushes down on his shoulder when he tries to rise, distracted by unfamiliar chakra.

"Sit," she commands. "I'll get it. If you get up I'll have to start over."

"But it's—" Naruto bites out, still half-up. _It isn't—it isn't Sasuke!_

"_Sit_," she snap while looming over him.

Muttering, picking at the blanket on his bed, Naruto does as commanded even as the Hokage turns and opens the bedroom door, even as he senses three somewhat familiar people—but what were _they_ doing here? Where the hell was Sasuke?

"Hokage-sama," he hears.

"Well, goodness. What do you three need?"

"We came to visit Naruto," Shikamaru drawls out, distant. "Ino said he was sick." Naruto has the weirdest fluttering feeling, right above the uneasy thought _But that means—_

"All three of you?"

"Of course!" Ino's voice is more grating and Naruto unconsciously rips at the blanket, scowling. "We've brought him some of his favorite—Sa-Sasuke-kun!"

Heat flashes through his belly. Irritation bites even deeper because Naruto knows _exactly_ why Ino would drag herself along with Shikamaru and Chouji. He scowls even fiercer and keeps himself on the bed by winding his fingers in the blanket, clenching.

"Uchiha," came Tsunade's less-than-pleased voice, and then Sasuke's sour, irritated grunt that Naruto recognizes. Goddamit this is going to suck! Naruto thinks, more furious with the thought of all those people in his apartment, Sasuke in his apartment— 

—everyone in _his apartment—_

"Dammit, you stupid _hag_!" he hollers from the bed with the thought _**Fuck** her orders not to move_! "I'm getting up if you get any slower, grandma!"

"You've got guests," she informs him, appearing in the doorway, scowling. "Grandma?"

Naruto exhales violently. "No, really? I couldn't tell. Hurry up!"

--

Naruto was out of the bedroom in less than five minutes, rubbing his head. He was more confused now than angry in the face of Shikamaru and Chouji's quiet smiles, and sat as grouchily on the end of the couch closest to his stuff.

"—yeah, we heard you were sick—" Shikamaru, lazy and boneless on one end of the couch. He has his eyes closed, and if Sasuke hadn't known the scope of his intelligence, he would have ignored Shikamaru's presence entirely.

Sasuke can't help but overhear their comments; his hearing is upped by the irritation at having to deal with more than one problem. He tries not to listen, but those were friends of Naruto and Sasuke isn't so naïve to overlook what Naruto might let slip. It isn't scavenging for any scrap or clue because he refuses to let himself pick at the bone of what was happening.

"Well, Ino said she was going to apologize, too—" Chouji, quieter and sheepish, offering Naruto a handful of whatever snack he had.

In the kitchen, Sasuke is steadfastly ignoring what Ino was _really_ doing, hanging less than two feet away and babbling through the stupid smile on her face. The dishes have piled up from the last week, and Sasuke sets himself to the task because the old woman is here, too—

"Why do you have all your stuff over here?" Chouji again, with a rustle.

"Hey, don't touch my stuff!"

Involuntarily glancing up at Naruto's annoyed tone, Sasuke sees Chouji propped over the back of the couch, peering at the assorted mess.

"You haven't cleaned much, have you?"

"Is that blood?"

"Sasuke's supposed to clean my place," Naruto replies airly. "Part of the package. I'm too sick."

Sasuke wants to fling the plates in his hand at the back of the dobe's head, but the Hokage is leaning on the wall near the table.

"Uchiha, I'd like a moment," she says at his glance.

The dark-haired boy relaxes slightly at Ino's aggrieved sigh and resulting "I have to sit with _them_?" that no one responds to. Then the blond turns from leaning on the counter and blathering up Sasuke and saunters to lean over the back of the couch, chin in palm and looking utterly bored.

After Ino is out of earshot, the woman leans and remarks, "Well?"

"…it's fine," Sasuke mutters flatly. He has more interest in the way Naruto's chakra prickles and the way the dobe flattens his expression at Ino's presence.

"Mmm. Alright, tell me about his behavior over the last few weeks, would you? What is he like with no—" she pauses, gaze sliding to where Naruto sits with knees to chin in a conversation with Chouji and occasionally Shikamaru. "With no intrusions?"

"Sick?" Shikamaru is questioning, wryly.

"Uh huh."

"With what? You don't look very sick—"

Sasuke stacks the bowls upside down to dry, one glance to the group, a muscle of his jaw tensing. "Alone, he's not so possessive. He babbles like before…and sometimes he doesn't. He doesn't do…anything, sometimes."

Tsunade frowns. "I _was_ aware of that, but how long does it last? Does he react to anything?"

"There's something wrong with my chakra," comes Naruto's reply.

Sasuke shrugs again, wondering briefly is Naruto has always been this skilled at putting up a front. Tsunade's watching him, waiting, so he exhales through a twitch of a smirk. "More or less."

From the corner of his eye, the Uchiha watches the old woman tap a finger on her mouth, thinking, too caught up in her worries to notice Sasuke's insolence. Her gaze is on Naruto, again and Sasuke can see the worry deepening the lines around her eyes.

"Will there be a problem with them here? I was informed that Naruto and Ino…haven't been to civil."

"It should be fine." Sasuke pauses, then sets the last of the plates on a rack and starts the dozen or so glasses waiting to be washed. "But I haven't found all of the traps he set for me, yet."

"So—you have to be here all day?"

"Maybe you should _clean_, instead of making _Sasuke_ do it," Ino's muttering. "I swear, you're nothing but a pain in the ass—"

"Hey, I didn't sign up for this either— Sure, I'll have some chips—you think I _want_ that frigid jerk around?"

"Hey, barbeque or onion?"

She stands there, silent and unresponsive while Sasuke works halfway through the last of the glasses and cups, ear half-tuned in the conversation about which snack was better. The rest of him is frozen in the _Is it a bloodline limit?_ that he wants to ask the most, but he knows that any question will get the same mute response—

"Yeah, but this place is _filthy, _you shouldn't make Sasuke clean up _your _mess—hey, who'd you steal _this_ from?"

—but then, reacting to the sudden whip-snap of chakra with a jerk of his head, he might not have to ask. Sasuke can _feel_ the chakra shuddering higher, the bitter taste of it stopping him cold, bitter _angry _chakra that itched over his senses; he drops the last glass into water.

"You ugly bitch! That's mine!"

"What, this piece of crap-tin?"

Naruto is half-perched on the couch facing Ino, out of reach with something clutched in her hand. The blond dobe leans aggressively as Ino laughs at him, mocking. She must've picked up something from the floor. Irritable, Sasuke turns on a heel with the intention to prevent it—

—and Tsunade raises a quiet gesture. Her expression, as Sasuke stops abruptly, is more worried than calculating and Sasuke isn't sure what he's supposed to do.

"Give it _back_, goddammit!" Naruto snarls in weird, desperate fury.

—but by then he understands. Naruto's chakra, the way it was at this moment—she wanted to analyze it. Of course she did. It worried her because _she_ didn't know any more about it than _Sasuke_ did and he wants nothing more than to rub it in her face.

"Ino—maybe you should—"

But he waits, arms crossed and manages not to shudder when Naruto's chakra fluctuates—pauses, dipping—flares _again_ and Ino has her hands on her hips, now.

"Hey, I _found_ it! It's gotta be some girl's—Naruto probably stole it anyway—"

"How often is he like _this_?" Tsunade whispers. "His chakra?"

"Give it back! The Hokage gave it to me, it's mine!"

Sasuke doesn't look in her direction. "Once every other week. It—" he stops with blink, and lifts a shoulder. "It usually precedes other…reactions."

"You should've reported this, Uchiha—"

Out of reach, Ino is laughing derisively, dancing in to push away Naruto's forehead with two fingers and away even as Naruto swipes at her in response. He's close to jumping over the edge of the couch.

"Man, Ino, just give it back and shut him up."

"It's been there from the start," Sasuke hisses back. "It was irrevelant."

"Dammit, you stupid—!"

"What's the matter, Naruto? Not man enough to get it back?" she scoffs, cocking a hip and gesturing. "Probably looks better on _my_ neck—"

—and then Sasuke watches something unfold that almost—not quite but just—_almost_ frightens him. Ino dances back out of reach with her words and Naruto's chakra flatlines, briefly—Sasuke can't see his face and Ino is twirling to face Sasuke, smiling and flipping her hair.

"What do _you_ think, Sasuke?" Ino asks, bringing her hands up to place something around her neck, something Sasuke's seen around _Naruto's_ neck—

He has enough time to think _I must've snapped the chain, yesterday_—

—then Naruto's going for her throat in an _explosion_ of furious, boiling chakra, the couch scraping across the floor with the weight of Shikamaru and Chouji—and Ino screams, knocked to the floor with Naruto's hands tangled in her hair. Naruto intends to kill her. Sasuke can't believe this, can't move—Naruto _would_ kill her, he feels it, _knows _he would—

—all movement stopped because the Hokage has his _arm_ and won't let him go—

—watches it start as Naruto slams her skull-first to the floor, teeth bared and eyes wild and the air glinting red with Ino's screams as a strangled backdrop. From sheer instinct she wrenches a hand free and strikes his chin with the heel of her palm—

"Ino!"

"Good fucking god—!"

"Naruto what the hell are you—_Naruto_!" Shaken, the other two are half-risen from the perch on the couch, staring.

Naruto smacks her into the floor again and with a grip on the hand that's curled over the crystal, snarling. Sasuke listens to the bones in her fingers crack when Naruto wrestles it away. The sound she makes is high and breathless, and now, finally, her teammates are moving. Slow, too slow—

Shikamaru has Naruto by the elbow, tying to move him, and gets a handful of twisting, furious Naruto in his face. He ends up with a bloody nose and bruises in less than a breath, flat on his back. Chouji gets an elbow to the face and staggers. Below them, Ino's half-blind with pain and panicking, undamaged hand yanking out the wooden hair-pins that fasten up her hair—

"Chouji—_Ino!_"

—he doesn't make it in time to prevent Ino from driving the hair-pin between his ribs with a wet, meaty sound even as he notes how Naruto doesn't _react_, not to the make-shift weapon and not even when Sasuke skids in, twisting and yanking Naruto onto his stomach.

Briefly, Naruto bares his teeth and Sasuke flips an arm over the back of his neck, the other gripping Naruto's tousled hair. Ino cradles her hand and uses her legs to push backward to get away from them. Sasuke doesn't notice; he's busy staring down the fury on what he could see of Naruto's face, hears an echo of it. The blue eyes are focused on Ino. His hands claw at the floor.

"S-Sah-Sasuke—" Ino whines, half-gasping and weeping. It's the first time Sasuke has seen her so shaken. She has a concussion, bleeding from the ear and nose and one, bloodshot swollen eye. Sasuke barely spares her a frigid glare and keeps his attention on pinning Naruto to the floor. Off to his side, Shikamaru is helping Chouji to his feet, eyes fixed on Naruto in vivid alarm, absently handing a cloth to Chouji for the blood on his face.

"What's _wrong_ with him?" Shikamaru's voice is harsh and alien, adult. Sasuke doesn't respond; he's finding it more and more difficult to keep Naruto down and resorts to straddling him with a knee on the shoulder and one handful of hair. Wants to hit him in front of everyone and doesn't—

"…goddamn it _all_," Tsunade's exhale is a weary sound. She stands off to Sasuke's rear left, one hand on her hip, the other on her forehead as she sighs. Her hand passes over her mouth, then down in front of her chest. "How long until he calms down?" she asks, kneeling beside Ino and touching fingertips to Ino's forehead. The girl slumps into unconsciousness and Tsunade cradles the damaged girl to her lap, preparing to administer as much aid as possible.

"Depends."

"What the hell just happened?" Shikamaru snaps louder.

No one answers as Naruto's voice grates out in a mix between screech and snarl and Sasuke leans all his weight into holding him there. "You stupid—" Sasuke mutters and watches blood trickles from the bruise on the idiot's mouth left by Ino. Naruto's eyes track to where she is, and if Sasuke doesn't do something to keep his attention, he'll break free. Hissing, Sasuke frees a hand to cuff him on the side of the head and diverted, Naruto twists enough to peer with one fierce blue eye.

"He wouldn't have _killed_ her, would he?" Chouji gasps, one hand stuffing the cloth against his nose.

Sasuke fights the urge to sneer at their pale faces—

—and Naruto takes the moment of his distraction to twist out of his grip, body language screaming with that bloodthirst for Ino, unconscious or not, lunging—

—and doesn't have a chance with the Hokage between them; Tsunade pivots at the waist, palm out and _striking_ the forehead back, knocking him backwards in violent reversal. Sasuke cries out the equivalent of a curse, forces himself to catch the tumbling body and misses the sound something snapping under the boneless weight.

Spitting out a second curse, Sasuke dumps him to the floor. Naruto appears completely out; Sasuke isn't sure of what technique she used and debates the possibility of figuring it out without knowing the hand-signs. He spits hair away from his mouth. "What did you do?"

Tsunade leans back over Ino. "I only put him to sleep; he'll wake in a few minutes. It's useful for when he's a pain," she comments, absently.

Sasuke doesn't know the emotion that closes his throat; fury, perhaps, or some indignant petulance—regardless, all he can do is close his mouth, eyes narrow and aching with the urge to slip into the _sharingan_. To distract himself from the inexplicable thing, Sasuke gives Naruto a cursory glance.

The eyes look bruised, the face pale, eyelids shifting as Naruto's head turns, tilting back. Sleeping—

Sasuke's mouth flattens into a frown and almost feels concerned. No, he's _seen_ Naruto sleep. This isn't—Naruto's eyes flutter, and Sasuke doesn't avoid the hand that falters over the floor, bumps into his leg and twists a hold with surprising strength onto the hem of Sasuke's shirt. What—

Naruto was _awake_—had to be—so _pale_ but awake and the idiot grimaces and suddenly, as blue eyes open a little further, Sasuke can see panic. _Fear_.

Emotions he's never _seen_ on that cunning face and he watches Naruto's throat produce a gaspy little noise, mouth open, emotions that Sasuke's never dragged forth, not _that _look as he sucks for air—

—_air_—

_The hairpin—_ Sasuke thinks, pushing a hand around Naruto's side and feels splintered, blood-wet wood, blank in reaction. It's in too deep. _His lung is punctured._

Without looking, he knows Tsunade has all attention on Ino's worthless wounds and Naruto's there drowning in his own blood.

"Tsunade-sama," Sasuke whispers her name for the first time in her presence, uneasy, unable to defuse the response to help. "_Tsunade-sama_, he's—"

"He's _fine_, Uchiha," The bitch replies sharply, without looking. "I told you, he'll wake up soon and he'll be _fine_.

—_he's drowning he's **dying **you stupid—_ Sasuke wants to scream at her. The emotion feels like flies through his body, buzzing and crawling and _Naruto couldn't breathe_ and he could see it—

—_he's dying what—what do I do? _he thinks into crystalline panic, unable to move even when Naruto's eyes flicker to him, the fingers clutching and Naruto's mouth is shaping the outline of the words

"—_can't **breathe**—"_

"Hokage—!" Sasuke rasps again, hair in his face when he looks to see if she's noticed—

—god, no, nothing and _Naruto was_ _dying_—

Without a thought to clarify it, no thoughts left at all, Sasuke grabs him by the shirt and hair, hauling him upright and over his arm.

"You stupid bitch!" he hears himself say, strangled and rising and Sasuke can't control it as Naruto hacks and gags blood over his arm, spattering it on the floor. "_His lung is punctured_!"

Sasuke doesn't even know if she's reacted or not as he twists over Naruto's bent, spasming back with kunai in hand. Pulls out the neckline of the tee-shirt in his teeth and cuts it down the middle with the knife. Then he goes for the impaled, hairpin, snags it between thumb and the kunai. Memory shows him the first angle of the blow because Sasuke knows that it has to be removed the way it came, but he doesn't remember when the _sharingan _had slipped over his vision.

"—_bitch_—!"

Eyes wide, cold and throat sore and half-insane with the uncontrollable, unspeakable _thing_, Sasuke can only grit his teeth, secure his grip, and unsnaps his arm. Naruto stiffens, choking on a scream, gagging—

—black clotting blood all over the floor. Sasuke drops the bloody hairpin to the floor; unaware of the gash on his thumb gained in the process and whacks him between the shoulders.

Naruto draws a short, painful sounding breath, knuckles white with the pressure of clutching Sasuke. The urge to utilize the kunai within reach is tight through his arm, but Sasuke doesn't bother to pull away. If he pulls away, he'll start to—to _something_—if he moves—

"—lay him down, Uchiha!" Tsunade is saying, pushing her sleeves up, reaching out in the next moment to take Naruto by the shoulders. She pulls him from Sasuke's grip and lays him on his unwounded side, mouthing curses. She sets a palm lit with soft green chakra over the blood and bruises. As she's healing, she looks back to Shikamaru and Chouji supporting the unconscious Ino and snaps "Take her to the hospital, you two!"

They visibly force the effort to move with a final, wide-eyed look in Sasuke's direction. Sasuke scoots back and flinches without knowing his action; his hand is smearing at the blood on his arm—slowly, with effort, Sasuke claws back onto his control, and finds a discarded sock to rid the worst of the mess.

"Uchiha—" Tsunade is shaking the wrist of her free arm, tossing the multitudes of bracelets about. "You should leave; I don't think you should see this," she says soft, without inflection. He doesn't know her meaning, but the command to leave is obvious. She brings the bracelets to her mouth, selecting one and biting the cord. She tosses it, as Sasuke rises to leave, it _pohfs _a moment later. Shizune is there, gasping, when Sasuke looks over his shoulder.

_Summon bracelet_? he thinks dully, eyes running over the number still on her arm.

"Ho-Hokage—?" Shizune drops to her knees beside Tsunade.

"The damn brat got himself wounded, help me clear the blood from his lungs—"

Sasuke shuts the door of the apartment on the voice of the Hokage, hand throbbing. He hears, dully, two more _pohfs_ past the door. Doesn't know who it'll be, doesn't want to find out. His back pushes against the door and he sinks, slowly. By the time he finds a small roll of bandages and tape, there is a small puddle of blood on the hallway floor. He pads the wound anyway, wrapping bandages from wrist to knuckles.

After a while, he's aware of Kakashi near, one hand outstretched to touch him. Wire-tight with tension, Sasuke avoids the hand and doesn't raise eyes from the clotting blood on his skin.

Kakashi doesn't push it. "You're bleeding through your bandage." He drops to one knee and reaches out again for Sasuke's wrist. With wordless assent, Kakashi unwraps, attends and re-swathes his wrist in strips of cloth. His fingers throb, but Sasuke doesn't resist when Kakashi pulls him to his feet.

The world shifts in a sickening lurch, and Sasuke stumbles over the threshold of his house. Kakashi has brought him home—he grabs for balance, cradling his wounded hand. He's home, Kakashi silent and offering nothing. Naruto's cracked and broken and he's home with Naruto's blood drying in black smears on skin and clothing.

Shuddering, Sasuke slips out of his sandals and very, very gently shuts the partition door of the main hall behind him.

--  
(day 63)

"I don't think we have a choice," Tsunade speaks for the first time in half-an-hour. There are three empty sake bottles near her elbow, and Jiraiya makes sure to keep out of fist-range when he sees them.

"Choice of what?" he asks, sipping from another.

"Naruto's problem, Uchiha, all of it. If I don't keep Uchiha around, Naruto's chakra is as good as flushed down the toilet. If I _do_, who _knows_ what damage it'll do to him mentally!" Tsunade slams down the sake-cup, one hand covering her face and sighing deeply. "I don't know what to _do_, you dirty pervert."

"Does Uchiha know yet?"

"…psh. I doubt it." Somehow, Tsunade manages to find the half-empty container without looking and takes another swallow. "I swear, I'll kick his bony fucked-up ass if he does something stupid!"

--

Sasuke answers the door, barefoot and sleep-mussed. She has a moment to appreciate the fact he looks like a spoiled brat woken from sleep like any other human and doesn't smile like she wants to. She's sure it'd piss him off.

The minute she finishes informing him that yes, Naruto was still his responsibility, and no, his problem wasn't any of Sasuke's goddamned business, he slams the door in her face.

--  
(day 67)

Whatever's wrong with Naruto, the _reason _for it, the _truth_ of it—all of it, right down to his stupid noise self to his unstable chakra and the things that Sasuke lets himself _do_—all of it echoes _why_ in his head.

He doesn't _know_ why, doesn't _care_ because at this rate, he'll be only steps closer to proving to the idiot he was better, faster, stronger in every way. All ways. Had to be.

It doesn't matter that the craving he could feel thieving through his body was something he hadn't expected. The _desire_ for it frightened him—

—he had long since thought himself past the illogical need for touch.

But why?

He couldn't stop touching Naruto and it battered at the edges of his control. There was no room for it; he refused to allow it. He doesn't understand it breaking and reforming between them and doesn't _ask_, because the subject of their situation is nothing less than a lit fuse. He doesn't know who holds the wrong end, so Sasuke lets it sit there. He doesn't know if Naruto remembers how violent the other day was, and still doesn't ask. Wants to, but doesn't, because Naruto insists on training.

They've snuck off to train without Naruto passing out a total of three times now, but—but Sasuke doesn't know why he allows it. Always why—

Why he _wants _to allow this stupid half-assed training—There wasn't _room_—it's not even worth the effort. Can't be. Naruto's weak, so weak and pointless that Sasuke can't swallow the irritation of putting up with him…and does.

"Higher—" the dark-haired Uchiha commands, shifting his grip on Naruto's wrists to show him the proper way. "You're low. You'll break a wrist if you try to counter—"

"This is more comfortable—" Naruto protests, but he shifts his stance until his arms are where Sasuke thinks they should be and tries again. It takes him five attempts (not counting the previous seventeen) to actually slip free this time.

"Hn. Passable," Sasuke grunts sourly. "Again, but I'm not stopping this time—"

"Just get on with it," Naruto snaps.

Sasuke complies faster than the blond can follow and lands two solid punches to his middle before Naruto spins away. He snares the nearest wrist to allow Naruto to practice the counter-move—

—pleased and annoyed that he does it properly, and watches the blond wheeze. Ducks the kick and knocks out the bracing leg, follows through and pins him.

"_Again_," Sasuke scowls and hauls him to his feet. "We can stop if it's too hard for you—"

"I'll fucking do it, dammit, so shut up!" Naruto growls, settling back. This time, as Sasuke tempers his speed, his reactions quicken and it's not as easy to take him down. After the fourth time, Sasuke knows that Naruto has the counter down and leaves the idiot in the dirt gasping for breath. Two strides away, he rummages through the backpack for water and swallows over half without stopping.

"—come on," Naruto mutters from behind him. "Again."

"Sit _down_," Sasuke snaps over his shoulder, seeing Naruto pushing to his feet. "I'll drag you back by the ankles if you fall and knock yourself out, stupid."

"Asshole."

Sasuke chucks another flask at his head and Naruto manages to catch it, even if it throws off his balance. Sasuke watches him plop to his butt and chug the water in the next move, the swallowing throat and stubborn, stupid features. To distract himself, he leans against the nearest tree to wait. Training with the idiot is almost as useful as it used to be.

"Hey—hey, what's the next one?" Naruto asks the moment he stops drinking.

"Harder," Sasuke replies, almost smirking. "It's defensive, but you need it to do steps twenty-five and eighteen. Think you can learn it?"

"Think you can teach it?"

"Not today," Sasuke corks and drops the bottle into the bag. Disappointed or annoyed, Naruto scowls and hurls the empty flask at his head. It cracks against the tree when Sasuke evades out of reflex, settling the bag over his shoulder. "Get up, dobe," he commands, waiting in silence until Naruto gets to his feet with a grimace of pain.

When he's on his feet, Sasuke leads them through the pathway, nerves and body strumming with unbroken tension. Without looking, he can hear the harsh breathing, taking glances at the shade dappled over his skin and the whole world feels miles away from the two of them. He names the jolt along his spine as _need_ even if he refuses to define it.

It simmers until Naruto has his hands laced behind his head again, sky-blue eyes turned to the forest around them. Reaching the village will take only minutes; the forest is thick. He doesn't like it and doesn't want the tangle it evokes—

—because it existed. Eventually, Sasuke doesn't care to stop.

Before they reach the village, Sasuke makes up his mind whether he wants it or not, and shoves Naruto through the thick shrubs before the blond knows what's happening—he protests with a startled sound and an instinctive swipe at his face—but Sasuke lands above him, straddling him.

"Oiy, are you crazy?"

"Shut up," Sasuke replies automatically. He's said it so often it sounds hollow to his own ears, doesn't care and yanks on Naruto's shirt before attempting to push it up. The sound of protest weakens and Saskue takes that moment unfasten the button on idiot's shorts. "Who cares—"

"Yeah, but _here?_" Naruto hisses from the shade-dappled ground. He doesn't fight the hands working off his clothing and Sasuke finally catches the expression shifting through annoyance to curiosity to exasperation.

"Why not?" Sasuke replies while he pushes the shirt of his way—freezing when Naruto makes an irritated noise and the expression—_blushing he's blushing why is he—_

"_Fine, _then, if you want to be a bastard about it," and Naruto's trying to take off his shirt. Sasuke's so surprised by the action he just lets it happen, warm hands brushing his sides, hair in his face when Naruto succeeds. His heart seizes for a space of four or five seconds, and if this is victory, he wants to die. There's nothing left. It's too much.

_It's not enough!_ Sasuke thinks, wild and bends to take him.

--

The forest is a blur of green and gold and shadow through Naruto's eyelashes. He feels unable to breath, unable to move, unable to do anything but rest there, Sasuke's skin to his and his weight almost intolerable.

It doesn't feel bad, but Naruto isn't sure what's supposed to feel good, if this _was_ good. A deep breath shifts Sasuke's weight; the dark eyes flutter open and glance vaguely at the chest he's supported by. Naruto hears the remnants of his pleasure still in his throat and wonders what was going through Sasuke's head. He watches as Sasuke pushes to his hands and knees above him, Naruto's legs still curved to accommodate, and uses the lack of weight to dig out a stone trying to weld itself to his hip.

Then he stops, unnerved, because Sasuke hasn't moved or stopped _staring_ at him; unruly black hair frames his pale face. "Uh—you can get off me, asswipe."

Dark eyes narrow and Naruto _knows_ that look for the threat it is, even as he nerves himself to react to whatever—

"Tell me what's wrong with you," Sasuke whispers. "Tell me, damn you—"

—can't hide the shock and the thought _he's asking—he's **asking **me—_too late too hide his reaction, now—Naruto pushes at him and can't move him. "_No_—"

"—_Tell _me!"

Desperate, panicking, Naruto grates out the first thing that pops into his head and regrets it—

"I said _no_—I don't ask you about your fucking brother, _don't **ask** me about this—_"

—regrets it because Saskue's face goes bone-white and Naruto barely avoids the crushing strike to his solar-plexis, takes it in the stomach and gags, curling up with the pain—

Sasuke dresses in silent fury and by the time Naruto manages to sit upright, arm over his stomach, he's gone. Upset and furious in his own right, Naruto drags on his clothes and stands. _Stupid Sasuke and his stupid—always so fucking stupid—_He can't help the niggling worry at making his way home by himself, doesn't _want_ to go home in the next thought and ignores it, tries to, tries so hard—

--  
(day 68)

The first thing Sasuke sees that afternoon is mud. Mud, again, all over the fucking _bed_—

On the couch, the first thing that Naruto wakes up from is Sasuke's white-knuckled fist. The door slams before Naruto can get up off the floor. When he manages to do so, he can see globs and streaks of mud on the slashed, tattered remains of his sheets.

"What the _fuck_?" he croaks, just as confused. Then he shrieks _"ASSHOLE!" _out the window to make sure Sasuke knew he wasn't getting away with ripping up his sheets.

The rest of the day he spends renewing his traps, hurt and raging.

--  
(day 71)

"Here," the Hokage says without preamble on a day Sasuke doesn't expect to see her. She holds something out, and Sasuke glances to see a bracelet similar to the kind she wears. The hallway of Naruto's apartment complex is silent; he hasn't gone inside. She must be just leaving.

"How does it work?"

"It's a simple alarm jutsu. Break the cord—" she holds up a wrist for example. "and it will activate the twin of the bracelet. The stone shines and the wearer knows to teleports to the broken one."

Folding it his hand, Sasuke raises dark eyes to her face without asking why she's giving it to him.

"In case something happens," she answers. "If you can't control him. Oh, and he's trapped his apartment again."

Ah. He had wondered why her robe was smoking.

--  
(day 76)

Sasuke must be angry with again, but Naruto doesn't care if Sasuke wants to be stuck up. Naruto has no problem with that. He glares at the back of his rival as Sasuke rinses some dish and stabs the ramen in front of him with his chopsticks. Stupid Sasuke. It's not like Naruto had done it on purpose—

—not like he _remembers_ it, anyway.

To distract himself from Sasuke's disturbing insistence that the muddy sheets were his fault, Naruto lifts the noodles to his mouth—and gags at the sensation of wet ropy _things_ slipping and slimy between his teeth—

_What the…?_ he thinks in utter shock, freezing with the utensils between his clenching teeth, gagging again until he opens his mouth and sends the half-chewed mouthful plopping back into the bowl. He must have made some sound; Sasuke looks over his shoulder and blinks at his face.

_What the fuck was that?_ his mind gibbers, fully intent on ignoring Sasuke's annoyed look until it shifts back to the sink.

Cautiously, cold and clammy on the skin and cracked-ice through his middle, disbelievingly, he tries again.

—_some sort of_ _toughness popping between his teeth—_

Naruto gags and shudders even as he spits out the food, hand to his mouth and staring at his food.

"Eat," Sasuke cuffs him on the back of the head as he moves dry dishes to the pantry behind Naruto.

"I—" Naruto inhales over the rasp in his voice, tasting food and dirt and foul, coppery blood and doesn't know which one is _real_—and Sasuke doesn't know, can't know, god he's going crazy—Naruto can't say _anything_ to him, nothing!

"I'm not hungry," he replies tonelessly.

Sasuke makes a sound in his throat that holds a basic 'Whatever, stupid' because the Uchiha doesn't care. Naruto shudders again with a swallow, pushing his bow away. He drops his head onto folded arms and pretends to sleep.

--  
(day 78)

Sasuke makes it late to Naruto's apartment this day, half soaked from the misting rain. It's nearly dark but Sasuke doesn't care. Inside, up the stairs and through Naruto's door, he pulls off his too-large sweater and tugs at the thin cotton undershirt. The bag of bath towels end up on the floor and Sasuke scowls at the semi-darkness. A window's open somewhere, Sasuke can still smell the rain.

Sasuke will bet his finest set of weapons that the sheets are muddy again. The idiot's got to be doing it on purpose, and today would be a prime day to accomplish it—and over all of it, Sasuke loathes the frustration he feels over stupid, muddy sheets. There's no point.

But the idiot's done it again, and something twists sweetly into aggression. He knows it's happened again; it's all over the fucking floor—strewn from bedroom to bath as if Naruto had…

Furious, Sasuke nearly skids on cold wet mud and opens the bathroom door.

Naruto's inside and Sasuke hears the dull, gasping breath. The faint illumination through the window etches out slumped shoulders and paler skin. "Nnghnn—_no_—"

Sasuke flips on the light, mouth parting to hurl stinging curses—and freezes when Naruto doesn't react. His eyes are open and there's one hand splayed over his mouth, but Naruto doesn't move from his hunched-over position. Sasuke sees blood spattered over chin and hand and fingers, over the white porcelain.

Lumpy, black-clotted blood and Sasuke gags at the smell of puke and blood and something else, the grip on the door the only thing keeping him upright.

Blood. Sasuke can't tear his eyes from the mess—there are tails and furry bits and oh god small, white splintered bones and oh god did he _eat_ that?

"What's _happening_ to you?" Sasuke hears his own voice echo through dull, wailing horror he hasn't felt or dreamed of in years—

"I don't know," Naruto replies, voice choked and hoarse. He gives a gaspy, hysterical laugh so unstable it sends a chill frission down Sasuke's body.

"You—"

"Mice are the main ingredient in a fox's diet, you know," Naruto gives that broken, horrible laugh and gags, Sasuke watches him gag and hears blood spattering—wait—

Fox—those were _mice—_Fox? Sasuke buckles and hits the floor just as hard as every bit of knowledge falling into place does. Scoots back until the cold wall of the hallway presses against his back, welcoming the cold through his clothing to keep his lunch down. Oh god—

_Fox_. Naruto, with chakra he couldn't explain. No bloodline limit, just _Naruto_, hated by everyone and always alone—crimson-tainted chakra and the eyes—god oh god all of it, finally now, horribly _all of it_, right down to the flash of fear and the way he whispers "That's it? All this time…all this is…_That's it?_"

Naruto's answer is shuddering lurch and Sasuke turns his face away to avoid the sight of bloody vomit. The noise of it is gut-churning, the _idea—_

—_fox the fox the fucking demon fox—_

Mercifully, his mind flattens out and later, he won't remember staggering to his feet or turning off the light and away from Naruto's distress.

--

Tsunade transfers to Naruto's apartment even though she's dressed in a robe to hide her nightclothes, despite being exhausted. She wonders, poofing into the darkness, if Naruto had a tantrum or Sasuke just pushed his buttons to far. "Oiy—" she calls. "Turn some lights on, will you?"

No one answers, and it sets off a deep-seated _Something's wrong_ before she literally runs into Sasuke. The boy is sitting on folded legs in the space between couch and hall and Tsunade gets no reaction when she calls his name.

Wrong, very wrong. "Uchiha!" she shakes his shoulder; he flinches violently with a small gasp, but his eyes slide away from focusing on her. His hand is clenched around the broken cord. "Where's Naruto?"

"…bathroom," Sasuke's voice is inaudible; the expression in his face is dazed."…ate them…muddy sheets, but it…stupid worthless _prank_…he ate them, that's it, he ate them he ate—"

"Uchiha—" Tsunade's tempted to slap him. "Ate _what, _Sasuke?What did he eat?" and thinks of poison—surely the Uchiha brat wouldn't poison Naruto in their rivalry, would he? She takes him by the shoulders and notes the fine tremor down his body. There is mud smeared on his legs and feet. His heartbeat is three times the norm, skin clammy. She can't see if he's wounded, but she can smell blood, dirt…and…what _was_ that—

"The _mice_—" and under Tsunade's confusion, he laughs very, very softly and the sound isn't something she's ever heard from anyone sane.

"_What_ mice?" she murmurs and gets no answer. Her heart thuds, something must be very wrong—so she stands and takes the two strides to the bathroom to find out for herself. She hears, reaching for the switch while shivering at a whimper-sound, the blood-scent even stronger—

A moment later, she makes it back to Uchiha's side with silent, unsteady steps. She sets a hand to his brow and sends him winging to sleep. The other hand is fisted over her mouth; her skin is white in the shadows. When Uchiha slumps, unfocused eyes finally shut, she summons Kakashi.

The man is silent, half-awake until she nudges his attention to the boy at her feet. "Take him home; make sure he doesn't…" _Doesn't what? _She thinks. _I don't know what he would do_—"I need to question him later."

"I smell blood," Kakashi replies cautiously. "Is Naruto…"

"I need to get him to Jiraiya. Go. I'm worried about his seal. Go, dammit—" she manages and turns away. Kakashi doesn't follow. It takes her only a minute to reappear with Naruto in her arms, wrapped up in a towel and another balled up in her fist, dripping blood; he doesn't question her any further. She gets a sick satisfaction of watching his normally unflappable resolve crumble and doesn't feel like enjoying it.

--

"How is he?"

"…aside from the normal problems that come with eating…raw meat, he's fine," Tsunade rasped. She hasn't moved from her position on the edge of Naruto's bed, or her hand from Naruto's chest. Her hand glows in the green healing chakra.

"Do you…know what happened? Why he would…"

She sighs without looking, the lines of tension around her mouth and eyes going deeper. 'The brat…he must've…Uchiha mentioned muddy sheets, some prank or something—"

"Mud—he was sneaking out?"

"Apparently. What…what else could he have done, Kakashi? What _else?_ How can I—what should I—he's so _young_ to face this and at this rate…" Tsunade's painted nails are bitten to the quick. She doesn't finish her sentence, because Kakashi knows just as clearly what could be happening and says it for her.

"Is there a chance Naruto's absorbing too much and becoming the Kyuubi?"

"I don't know."

"What if Naruto told Sasuke?" Kakashi pauses carefully in his attempt for answers to both of his worries. "What should we do about that?"

"I don't know! Does that shit even _care?_"

"Sure he does," Kakashi answers…but even his voice is hesitant.

--

—his head aches and he can't think of anything but the sound of blood dripping, the sight and smell and Naruto sitting there in his dreams with his teeth bared in a bloody smile and oh god Sasuke's head hurts so bad he doesn't—there isn't anything _left_ there isn't any way he can _beat_ that nothing no way no way—

—he can't he can't he has to he has no choice, it has to be tonight because there wasn't any time left, _tonight, even if he doesn't want to_—

--  
(day 82)

The first time Naruto realizes he wasn't in his apartment is Sasuke putting a kunai to his throat, straddling him in the darkness of early morning. The room is unfamiliar; the surrounding chakra and ward-jutsu is not. Sasuke's weight on the bed wakes him and wherever he is, he knows that Sasuke must have snuck in. His eyes are wild-red with the sharingan, alarming just out of sleep, but Naruto doesn't move.

"I have to kill you," the Uchiha grates out in whatever insanity grips him, the edge grazing along the softness under the jaw. Naruto's never seen him like this and it distracts from the nightmarish memory of bloody mice and Sasuke _laughing—_the shudder at Sasuke's "It will make me stronger—" earns him a nick in the softness of his throat.

Naruto doesn't know if he should move, fight back or just pretend the weapon wasn't there. He doesn't know what he wants because nothing right now makes any sense—not his stupid seal or his chakra or the goddamn fox and definitely not Sasuke—but the bastard's here with _weapons _and Naruto fights the lingering drag of sleep, brows furrowing and finally mutters, hesitant, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard?"

Sasuke makes an anguished, hollow sound and his eyes flash through the darkness of his hair. "_You're so stupid—_" the Uchiha strangles out, the edge pressed against him so hard that Naruto can feel blood trickling down his throat and makes sure not to move at all, now, not with Sasuke going crazy.

"I'll _kill you I will—_" Sasuke's whispering with his focus on Naruto's throat. "I will _I have to_ you don't know _I **have** to_—"

"You're fuckin' crazy—" he replies harshly and absurdly, feels like laughing. _Kill me_, he wants to scream. _Kill me! Maybe I want to die!_

"—_I have to hate you!" _

But the feel of a weapon at his throat, he doesn't _want_ this—Naruto grabs his wrists to lighten the pressure and squeezes it, fluttering thoughts on how quick Sasuke can be, how strong and stubborn and expecting numb pain in every heartbeat; but Sasuke only shakes in his grip and Naruto very gently very very slowly eases his neck away from the razor-edge kunai—just enough, maybe more, to get a chance at knocking the bastard away—

—_He knows he knows he thinks I should die—_

"Everybody hates me," Naruto snarls back when the edge isn't so dangerously close. "You're not fucking special—" somehow, the kunai slips from Sasuke's fingers and Naruto makes sure to flip it away. Sasuke doesn't seem to notice its absence and gropes blindly at his neck, suddenly _squeezing—_

Naruto has to grab his wrists again just to breath and—

"_Why_—" Sasuke keens under his breath and the embers in his eyes flare; Naruto sets his features into a scowl to hide his fear and waits, has to with no other choice—

"Sasuke—" Naruto wheezes and digs his nails in. "—don't _care_ if you hate me—can't you get that through your stupid, stuck-up head?"

"…hate you," Sasuke replies without sound, clenching and Naruto, with spots of color sliding in the corners of his vision, twists the wrists away from his throat and knees him in the gut. The next two seconds he spends gulping air. Sasuke's breath hitches in his throat; he must've got him good.

_Get up get up before he attacks me_—

But Sasuke only curls up on the bed, face hidden behind his hair. Heart thudding, queasy to his stomach and fighting off tears, Naruto pushes up. "Asshole," he croaks. "What the hell was the sex, then, huh? Is _everything_ some fucked-up game to you?"

"…is that all you care about? Sex?" Sasuke mumbles tonelessly, exhaling into a sigh. "Stupid…"

"Look—god, _you're_ stupid!" Naruto whaps him with the pillow and does it again for the hell of it. "I told you I couldn't _help_ it—I'm not—" he lets Sasuke wrestle the pillow away and shoves at him. "They're fucking _instincts_," he snarls without intending to. "I couldn't help it, sometimes and you k-know why…a-and I don't know w-what's _happening_ to me and I _hate it_—"

Sasuke's eyes are black now, bruised in the moonlight as Naruto grabs him by the shirt and tries to shake him. "_—and I hate you too_ you stuck-up bastard, I h-hate—" he tries to say with Sasuke's hands sliding up his arms. Naruto's fingers brush his face. "_Isn't this what you want?" _The kiss is accidental.

Sasuke tolerates the careless brush of pressure, going as far as to part his lips and attempt to kiss like the examples shared by couples in dark shadows, mouth open and devouring and Sasuke drowns in the white-water fear and insecurity and _need _it summons until he pulls away with a knee-jerk gasp, flat on his back.

Moments later, Naruto follows him over.

--

In the darkness between early dawn and midnight, Sasuke's weight is heavy and comforting next to his. Naruto drowses, unaware of feeling warm and satisfied and thrilled. The second time his eyes flicker open, they slide to Sasuke's curled-up form, his half-seen face. The distress still pulls at the lines of his mouth.

Rising, Naruto gropes for his boxers. He skirts Sasuke's body and stands to put them on. Sasuke doesn't move or react. Naruto doesn't really see the discarded t-shirt, but drags it up and over his head; he turns only to step back onto the bed and over to the window. He pushes on the glass, cool fall air sneaking around him as he leans, a knee on the sill.

Naruto tenses, one diffident glance behind him, and in a flash of uncommon chakra, vanishes.

Sasuke doesn't wake.

TBC  
a/n - Hahah! I live! I hope you've enjoyed the latest chapter of this fucked-up world. Unbelievable how much of a _pain_ this chapter was to write, so much complications…damn you, Sasuke, you ass.Accomodate once and a while, dammit! ThenI looked at how many pages I've got total. Damn. over 130...and I'm not even done...

But…I wonder how many of you can guess what's next…? Is it cliché? Well, perhaps. grin perhaps not. You'll see! I've got…oh my god, I've got one more chapter! Yay! Next, the end-result! And no…it's not the obvious. Thank you for being patient! It's not long, now!


	7. seven pt1

**&Warning/Disclaimer&  
**The characters don't belong to me, but the plot and the story do. There will be lots of sex, swearing, and abuse. (this might be reposted if needed)  
_**Rated R for a reason, people!**__**Read accordingly  
**_Anyway, Sasuke's not a happy camper, and Naruto's…not normal anyway, so I've thrown them together, dashed in some angst and wrote this up.  
They've got all current attacks and issues, except that Sasuke -still angsty- doesn't run off. He just broods. A lot.  
So, on the grounds of _yaoi_ I give you this dark, unhappy (kinda) lovestory.Some violence and lots of angst…or, '_Welcome to the your breakdown, Sasuke.' :)_

:::Part 7, 1/2:::  
(…momentarily ago…)

There are hands on his body but he can't see the face, only touch and graze mouth and teeth across the skin beneath him. It's dizzying, blinding pressure that bends his spine until the hands hold him up, until it's the only thing he _does _feel, those clever, decadently warm hands.

_It's just a_ _dream_, he thinks, laying claim with his own wide-flung fingers against the skin, a mouth to the pulse. It can't be anything else; anything else would do irreparable damage. _It's nothing, it has no meaning—it's nothing—_

A mouth both warmer and sooner than expected glides down his collarbone and to the shoulder, mock-sharp nips to pale skin and flexing hands on his belly, flat and sure and soothingly cold to the burning in the middle—he wants those hands lower, because it doesn't matter if he's not supposed to want this, it's just a goddamned dream—

—nothing-just a dream—nothingnothing**nothing**— 

so he pulls the other closer and hears the shallow noises of his own voice as he tastes skin and sweat and the sweet-metal flavor of the heat and want in his belly. Soon, the other is pinned beneath and coiling against him, wide mouth open and panting, eyes covered by moon-pale hair.

Sasuke is already lost and doesn't see, setting his teeth almost gently against the neck, arms up and bracing, deep and _aching_ under the not-pain of being so close to Naruto, inundated by red swallowing pleasure and—

—Sasuke doesn't careanymore _he doesn't, it's always—_the _only_ time_—__**always—**_

—_it's always just a dream._

-&-

The cold early-winter rain isn't the sound that wakes her. Stirring, Tsunade's eyes open into a semi-darkness lit only by the lamps on either end of her desk. She takes a moment rub a firm hand over muscles still tight with sleep, without raising her head or any other part of her body. It must be late; she should check on Naruto—

Then, as she lifts her head from papers and assorted notes, the cause of her sudden alertness isn't a sound at all—

_Such subtle chakra_, she thinks, rubbing her face now and feeling twice as old as she actually was. Awake for less than half a minute and acutely aware of how the chakra creeps from her senses, flickering and…

God-oh_god_no she _knew_ that chakra—

Face white, Tsunade jumps to her feet, chair cracking back in three separate pieces as she strides to the seal-locked door to Naruto's room and slams it open; it smacks against the wall in a thunderclap of noise and Naruto isn't there.

Naruto isn't _there_.

It takes her one bewildering moment to realize the smooth slope of an arm and dark hair belonged to _Uchiha—_

"You little bastard," she murmurs, knees weak. _Naruto isn't there_. The window. The window is open and the rain has soaked the bed and she can feel chakra so dense and far at the same time—

"Uchiha!" she snaps. "What the hell happened—_Uchiha!_"

No answer and she's at the bed in the next breath, one hand to his throat, a wild panic screaming _Kyuubi! The Kyuubi!_ in the hollow of her mind. Uchiha doesn't wake at her touch. His heart-rate is fast and shallow, a faint line of white beneath the lids when she pulls him onto his back. He's out cold and doesn't respond—and she knows, finally, with one more piece clicking into place.

"Damn," her voice echoes under the rain, mind flashing bright and hard _Of course Naruto improved, once he had a secondary source of chakra! _Her hand flashes over the cords at her wrist. "_Damn_."

Kakashi _pohfs_ into view before his summon-bracelet hits the floor. He must have been on his way. Tsunade sits on the edge of the bed and levels a hand over Uchiha's chest, stabilizing his chakra before meeting Kakashi's gaze. "Can you feel that—?"

"Of course I can!" he mutters at once, alarmed, kneeling to turn Sasuke's wrists in his palm. "Tsunade-sama, _everyone_ sensitive enough can feel it—" one suck of shallow surprise and worry. "What's happened to Sasuke? He's completely—"

"Naruto happened," she replies, folding the blanket over the Uchiha, avoiding the way Kakashi's eye darts to her in startled brightness. "Stolen chakra that doesn't belong to him, it seems...I need you to find Tsukamoto and prepare the village if…_if_ something decides to attack. Go discreetly, and then follow me into the Forest." She lifts the boy into a better position with a heavy pause, absently examining the scrapes and bruises on the pale skin. "What should we do with him?"

Kakashi, expecting another order, any order, blinks and staggers into speech. "I, uh—forgive me, Hokage-sama, but…Sasuke…if he wakes to Naruto, well, not Naruto…I don't know…it might be worse to separate them at this point."

"Bring him, then, when you've found Tsukamoto. I'll need to talk to him."

"What will we tell the village? The Council?" he asks and she hears the unspoken worry with the memory that still burned over Naruto's past. It would be stupid to think that those people wouldn't recognize or remember…and even if they _didn't _remember, they wouldn't miss the malevolent swell of chakra so insidiously close.

"Nothing," she replies, grave and puzzled, line of sight lifting to the outer edge of the village and beyond. "…because he would've attacked by now, if the seal had broken."

Kakashi nods and gathers up the Uchiha's clothing before accepting the blanket-bundle of his body. Then he vanishes from sight. Tsunade shivers in the spattering of rain, fingers tracing her wrist. Her eyes fall to the second bracelet snaking on the floor and feels an irritation that nothing to do with the situation. She had counted on Jiraiya's presence should this ever occur and now the pervert had the balls to ignore her—

_Fine_,she thinks, hands closing tightly against anxious fear. _I'll do this on my own._

-&-

Kakashi arrives just in time to hear the question; Sasuke is a heavy weight over his arm and an even heavier stone in the depths of his mind, but a problem he can't afford to focus on yet. Touching down to the stone parapet of the village wall, he glances down and around to see almost everyone turning their gaze towards the unseen, menacing _presence_.

"What _is_ that?" one young, inexperienced Anbu is asking. He is one of three grouped on the wall near Tsukamoto's station, the only one not struck speechless by the sense of _power_ not far enough away, too young to really remember.

"Ah, Tsukamoto, a moment?" Kakashi calls lightly, letting his feet scrape just enough to alert them without startling them into a high-strung attack, glad that he took the time to pull a shirt and shorts onto Sasuke before arriving. Of the three Anbu that twist their heads to his location, the middle-aged top-ranked Anbu is the only one who doesn't give unconscious Sasuke an odd look.

After a moment, Tsukamoto motions to an area a small distance away. "Do you know what's happening, Kakashi-san?" he asks, low and uneasy, too professional to show it.

"Yes, that," Kakashi hums to himself quite deliberately, shifting Sasuke as he lay over one shoulder. "Seems Sasuke here had a run-in with Naruto, and now the brat's out in the Forest, pissed as hell. The Hokage went to calm him down." He smiles and lowers his voice. "That's the story you're supposed to say, anyway. Naruto's been having problems with his chakra, among other things."

"Ah. Well, um. Will something happen?" Tsukamoto's gaze flickers, skin paling slightly when he finally replies.

"Possibly," Kakashi smiles briefly. "Your orders are to station Anbu and selected jounin along the wall, _supervision only_. Is that clear?"

"Perfectly. I'll inform the others of the situation."

"Good. Shizune will be along with further orders." As Kakashi steps to the outer edge of the wall, he catches the older man's sharp nod, returns it, then he's off and into the trees after the elusive taint of chakra.

-&-

Naruto dreams of razor-bright wire sliding over his hands, cutting and slashing and _hurting _them, until he bleeds and bleeds and knows he can't let go. Has to hold it. Hold it _tight_.  
. —_helpme_—  
Even though it hurts he's not ready he doesn't know—holds tight—_tighter_—holds even as it feels like his bones are splintering with the pressure of his grip—grits his teeth against burning until there's nothing left but pain and stubborn desperation and the echo of Sasuke's voice_—have to __**have to**_**—**and keeps going through and beyond until it's the focus of his world, the center, its _creation_—

—_keep going stay strong don't_—  
. —_Sasuke_— with the insistent urge he needed, he didn't care —holding far, far too fast—_so red_—keeps it going—_will not drop it_—

—_please_—_stay with it—_

going into redness that holds him under as tight as his aching hands could hold.  
. —_**stay**_—

-&-

In the end, she makes her way alone to the source, cold and fighting shivers at the pre-winter air. The chakra coils and twists before her, faint on the edges of her senses but unavoidably _there_ like a splinter under the nail. Alien. Wrong. Unnatural—

—and yet, with purpose. She can feel it, taste it and cringes as it _ignores_ her in return—

Tsunade can't find him at first; the air flashes with violent, fire-hot red before her eyes can focus on it. Naruto was near and hidden. She stops in a small clearing choked with tangled vines and shrubs, towered over by the trees and smeared with viscous black mud.

As the Hokage looks with eyes and ears and heart, it doesn't turn out to be as difficult to locate him. In fact, it's rather obvious with the glint of shredded aluminum cans here and there, rain-melted paper that speckles the ground around the bushes. They look as if they've been ripped apart and tossed aside, and she wonders why. Wonders where he got them, what he used to shred them like paper and if he actually _ate _the contents uncooked. The air reeks of an odd, musky-sweat _human_ odor—

Somewhere close, anyway, and Tsunade walks forward in the sleeting wetness, following the mess.

"Naruto?" she rasps. "I know you're there—Shit, don't tell me you can't hear me, _I_ _know you're there_…" she coughs hoarsely on the edge of tears, stopping only feet away from the source of the tainted chakra, skin tight with goosebump fear. _Oh child, what's happening to you?_ she think, gnawing at her lip.

Of all things, _this_ is something she doesn't expect; a tree half-ripped from the ground and caught by its brethren, angled enough that the hole dug down underneath it is both protected and deep.

The entrance is framed by a mess of stark-white roots seeping rivulets of sap and rainwater, still clumped with muddy earth. It's low, and dark enough with the rain that Tsunade can't see him from where she is, but signs of him are everywhere. The scraps of household things, the now-empty cans of food, thick black mud that must have come from under the tree—

Of all things, Naruto had made himself a den underneath the thickness of a half-fallen tree.

Tsunade can't help the bitter-sick twist of misery that Naruto's instincts were so much stronger than she knew. _I_ _should've known—_and it's still so much worse than the fear she feels when she drops to her knees within a few yards of the tree. "Naruto!" she calls. "Naruto, I know you're there—"

She had to find out what was happening with Naruto, and that meant she must go down there, somehow get closer, and find him somewhere behind all that horrible-feeling chakra—she doesn't want to go in there.

The woman waits for a response just in case, hearing nothing but the rain dripping and the bitter-musk chakra in the darkness ahead of her. She wraps fingers around the mud-clumped roots before she realizes the shape of the den widens into a three-yard space, flat and roughly oval, too dark to really see anything. She takes a breath to calm herself, scooting forward with mud splashing on her robe, one hand over heard to grasp at the wet, knobbly roots. Another breath, trying to see without getting too close.

She still can't see him. The chakra brushes her hands and face. "Come on, brat," Tsunade pleads. "_Say_ something, anything, just talk to me—"

The rain is the only sound she hears. She can't force herself to go any closer than the root-laced barrier; instinct warns her against such trespass.

Tsunade loses track of how long the minutes are as she sits out there, listening, sensing only the twist of red chakra before her, eventually spurred by the cold to build a small fire in the driest spot she can find. Tries to think, to prepare, too caught up in worry to manage either.

But the firelight lends enough to her vision to make out the rain-soaked, wrinkled t-shirt on a slumped unmoving body from where she sits. Naruto, hunched forward and curled up in a nook of hand-carved earth, smeared with mud and slick with rain. Unresponsive to the soft cry of his name, the plea for attention.

The chakra twists between them, and she feels her heart crack under the weight of what she must do, if she dares to take risk of the tainted chakra solidifying into something else, of Naruto emerging as anything but a foolish brat mixed up in things he couldn't understand. She can't take _any_ risk so she pulls her gaze and senses away again with her heart throbbing in her chest.

Once she convinces herself that the chakra hasn't actually taken any interest in her other than awareness, that the cave was nothing more than a shallow depression dug into the earth exposed by the broken, trailing roots and Naruto wasn't in any sort of threat, yet—

—_yet,_ her mind whispers. _Wait, just wait—_

—her mind clears and she understands the first precaution she needs to take. Tsunade puts a hand to the ground and starts to lays down wards in a fifty-foot radius around the dark mouth of the den; with the firelight, she can make out the slumped back of Naruto just beyond the mouth.

Now, after ten excruciating minutes of painstaking work with cramping fingers, Tsunade is nearly finished with the first line of defense.

Shizune is the first to arrive, breathless and overburdened with scrolls and weapons and blankets. Tsunade makes a mental note to send her back for food, as Naruto doesn't seem to be going anywhere, yet.

"The scrolls," Shizune is gasping. "I just grabbed all of them; how is he?"

"Aside from the chakra, he appears to be in a form of catatonia. I think he's fine." Tsunade dips the line and connects over two hundred yards of ward-jutsu together. Imbedded chakra hums gently under her hands, and she sits back on her haunches with a groan as Shizune hands her a bottle of water. "Mmn. Thanks."

"…is it the seal?" Shizune questions softly.

The rain leaves her shivering, but Tsunade feels more numb in response to the chakra than anything else. She sighs lightly, pained, before she answers. "I'm not sure. We'll have to see."

A frizzle of chakra alerts her to Kakashi twenty feet behind them, laying the unconscious Sasuke down under the shelter of a blanket. Tsunade has the rare moment to see Shizune look alarmed and puzzled, rubbing away the water on her face. If she hadn't seen Uchiha so pale and limp already, she would've been shocked as well.

"Tsunade-sama, is he…?"

"Naruto's been stealing his chakra for some time now, for some reason. I wasn't aware of it…and I doubt Uchiha knew. It's likely something to do with why Naruto's been storing up chakra in the first place. Will you keep an eye on him for a few hours?" Tsunade gestures to the scrolls and lays the one Shizune hands her across her crossed legs to skim through it. After a second, as Shizune hands her another, she rolls it up and sets it aside.

"Of course, but why—why would he need to store up chakra? I mean, we knew he was having difficultly maintaining healthy levels, but…there wasn't any sign of it being stored or leaking away or—"

"Might be related to the instinct-problem he's having; like the way squirrels bury their food. I don't know." She pauses to glance at the muddy den and evaluate the flux of chakra; it twirls in desultory mocking. "I'm sure we'll find out. Worst-case scenario, _it's_ trying to separate."

Tsunade turns her gaze to where Kakashi has left Uchiha for Shizune, then to where Kakashi is settling into a tree, hands blurring into seals; she realizes he's already set the outer-ward and feels a touch grateful and indignant that he thought she couldn't finish it.

For now, as she opens another scroll and skims that one too, it's just the five of them.

-&-  
(2nd day, early morning)

Jiraiya arrives early on the second day of Naruto's inexplicable situation, tramping through the undergrowth and cursing every step.

Tsunade wakes from a too-short sleep with a snort, still seated just between the first and second ward-lines, ten yards or so from the low-slung den. She rubs briefly at her face and turns her eyes to see the wild-haired old man working free from a tangle of vines. "Ngh. You're lazy and _late_, old geezer. Which whore stole your stuff this time?"

"Eh?" the hermit scowls in her direction, tugging on his leg to free his ankle. "Oh, are you talking about that trinket you gave me? Psh. I pawned it to some pretty young thing four days ago for a bottle—"

"I _gave_ you that _trinket_ in case I had an emergency, you stupid fart!" she chucks a rock at his head with enough force to be satisfied at the way it bounces off his horned forehead protector. It subsequently knocks him free.

"Yes, well," Jiraiya staggers to a stop, pauses to brush at his clothes. "I showed up anyway, crone. What'd the brat do this time?" Momentarily pleased with the state of his clothes, Jiraiya settles near Tsunade with a careful step over mud-written wards and examines the root-barred entrance, sniffing at the drone of chakra.

"If I knew that, I wouldn't be out here, would I?"

Hmming to himself, Jiraiya licks a finger and holds it up into the air, licking it again and frowning. After a moment, he nods to Kakashi in his lookout position—Kakashi waves his orange book with a merry smile—and then to Shizune as she keeps vigil over the slump of the Uchiha boy. His gaze narrows, hiding his suddenly serious, worried expression in a foolish grin. "Did they fight over who's wearing the wedding dress?"

"Get serious, old man!"

"What's wrong with the seal, then?"

"I don't know," she snaps, arms crossed and scowling. "I haven't had the chance to get close, yet, but I'm pretty sure it isn't that!"

"Well, _fine_, you can have some sake," Jiraiya rolls his eyes and fumbles for a bottle and tosses it her way. "_Then_ you can tell me what's going on."

Tsunade catches it with a sweep of her hand and takes a pull; after a moment, a deep breath and out again. She rubs at her forehead for a moment, still tense and shaking. "It's his chakra…but I don't know what he's doing with it. He's channeling it, somehow, into the ground, I think. I'm pretty sure he's doing _something _with it."

"Channeling it into the ground?" Jiraiya repeated, puzzled and squinting for a better view.

"More like a ball of mud. It looks like mud, anyway…I haven't gotten close to find out. Kakashi can't see much with the sharingan."

"And he's channeling _all_ of his chakra into it?"

"Yes," Tsunade replies softly. "Every bit he's stored up and stolen…It might be possible he's attempting some sort of jutsu…"

"…_stolen_?" Jiraiya snaps his head around quick enough to make his spine crackle, guessing, "From Uchiha? So _that's _why…"

She stops breathing for a moment when Jiraiya stops hiding his own fear and trails off in his own thoughts, his own estimations and worries. Her mouth works in some familiar grief; Jiraiya knows the worry that eats at her heart. If it was a jutsu to separate boy from fox, if in any way it compromised the village…

They'd have to put a stop to it.

After a second, Jiraiya lets out a heavy breath and gropes for his own sake bottle. "We'll see what happens," is all he can bring himself to say.

-&-

Sasuke doesn't remember falling into dreaming; he feels like he's been dreaming longer than days, longer than years, even…but he doesn't remember that his dream is nothing more than it ever is, shadows and the sense of feeling around for something, anything, some _thing_ that when he finds it, he's sure it will warm and still tacky with blood.

His dream-self fears that it could be Naruto who _should be dead_ but won't die, fears the sight of clear blue eyes meeting his until his dream-self stumbles over the notion.

But whatever it is that he hunts for, he loathes to find it and wants to and doesn't, until the anticipation crawls through him with jagged nails. Until he starts to dream he'll _never_ slip across it and force it to submit, until his echoing _can't-can't-can't_falters as quickly as his heart.

Can't find it_—won't ever—__**won't**__**ever find it**_, he fears.

If he can't find it, he'll kill it_—don't—_ right under the harsh, unspoken —_**kill him**_ that has to be right. _Killhimkillhimbeforeitallgoeswrong—_

If he can, he _will—_

If he does—

Then, as if unfastened, Sasuke's dream-self waits with slow-opening eyes at the edge of an abyss, dark and illuminated from some unseen force.

Itachi waits above, perched on what seems like a mountain across the vast blackness, bored and impatient with his mocking, malicious words, the echoes of disdain and laughter like dull, rusting blades.

—_he doesn't care—doesn't care I'm trying doesn't __**care**__ I have to be stronger—_

Itachi's face is pale and bloated with derision as sharp as glass and Sasuke's hands are clenched; he's cold and sick and desperate on his side of the distance, despairing of crossing and unable to explain how the _thought_ of attempting to reach his brother's level is discordant. How anyone could _be_ like that.

How _he_ could be like that, how he _is_, how he _needs to be_—

Noise behind him, scraping and dragging, and the dream-space lightens as if the source of the noise lends it energy.

Sasuke's dream-self turns from the scene of his brother far across from him, ignoring his presence because Itachi will always be there, always there to wait and mock him for trying – Sasuke has no fear of losing sight of Itachi.

…and now there's a form dark against the shadows of the dream-space, a form that snags his attention like a dirty hook. Hands stretching forth – _scrraape – _and the fingers are filthy with cracked nails. Dirt or mud or something oily is smeared on his wrists –_scrrraaaape_ –

…and he knows who he'll see, dragging themselves forward on sheer tenacity.

Naruto.

Battered, grimy, still fierce and stubborn. There is blood on Naruto's face when he moves his head enough to breathe and see him. His eyes are the brightest color behind the blood on his hair and skin, wild and piercing. Sasuke fears it, frozen on the want to stumble back, horrified to look weak to either force present.

The fact that Naruto holds just as much sway as Itachi goes unnoticed to his dream-self. Sasuke is too busy watching Naruto curl his fingers into the grit and the muscles that bunch with the effort. Sasuke's body is tense and cramping into numbness as Naruto pulls himself to a crouch, staggering.

There are so many things Sasuke wants to scream at him, to hurt him, hate him and make him hate back and anything to smear away the look in those blue eyes and _make him turn away_ but Sasuke has to turn away first—his hands are half-clenched and raising their own mute denial—

Itachi's laughter is a dry-leaf rasp, and just as dead.

Naruto lunges—  
—_no_—  
—too quick for reaction, and the snap of impact sends Sasuke sideways, shocked breathless with the pain of falling hard. Naruto lands beside him and Sasuke can taste the blood seeping into his mouth.

—_-no no hate me __**no**_—

There is too much blood on Naruto's body to match the smile on the face and blazing in the eyes—

—_Itachi will kill you he will he __**will**__—_Sasuke shreds himself from the thought with the force of a wrenching shriek because he doesn't want that, he doesn't want Naruto dead—that stupid, foolish loudmouthed _blond_ had no right becoming something _more_, Naruto had to _hate him back because_–

—_because it wouldn't work if—  
. __—If Naruto—_

Going from nightmare to awareness is a sucker punch to the middle, tight and painful as Sasuke rips himself from the dream and into a wretched wash of green-gold luminescence, a shriek lingering in his ears, hands clenching claw-like around the middle of his chest. He stands there, half-hunched and halfway across the small forest clearing he doesn't recognize and he realizes he must have moved.

_Forest_?

His legs shake with the last of his strength; Sasuke takes three, whooping gulps of air, still bent and hair in his face; struggling to make the airflow normal and let his body remember how to breathe with the static-shock of adrenaline, to keep down the taste of bile—

He gags once, imprinting on the soft-earth and wet, slimy leaves decomposing between the white shape of his feet. His vision blurs; he can barely stand even as he wonders how the hell he got there—

"Uchiha!" and then he's aware there are people around him, most importantly the Hokage only ten paces away from him. In that brief, disorienting moment of jerking his head up to see, he is reflexively aware of the signature of each chakra, five of them, too close to differentiate without concentration. Wonders what he must look like, staggering there, and for a moment wants to shriek in ember-bright fury—

But Naruto is here, somewhere, unseen, but _here_—all of it recognized in a matter of thought and gone as Sasuke fights down the last threads of a dream he can't quite remember and forces back the sensation of his legs buckling.

"You should probably lie down," Kakashi calls from somewhere behind him, somewhere above. "Before you fall down."

_Stationed as lookout, _Sasuke recognizes and doesn't quite understand. Without replying, Sasuke allows himself to fold to the earth and shudders at the moistness that seeps into his loose pants. His head hangs and the skin of his back crawls in disturbing, unwanted warning.

_What am I doing here?_

Turning a head that seems too heavy, Sasuke tries to determine just where their party was located, and if it would be easier to just leave right now, before anything else happens, or if the Hokage decides to take out whatever issue she has over Naruto on him.

Naruto. The last thing before he woke was the imprint of a dizzying hollow madness, darkness and the high walls of the Tower.

_Naruto_, in shadows, under his hands, under _him_—

"Wh—" Sasuke rasps, tearing the thoughts away and forcing out a general question, realizing he's intensely thirsty as his throat catches on the word.

"Here," Kakashi says from just beside him. He looks tired; his normal black-and-tan outfit is smeared with mud and specks of bark. There is a beetle exploring the zipper as the white-haired man offers a flask of water.

Sasuke drinks deeply enough to send it running down over his throat; the water lodges low and heavy in his gut, the coldness aching right through his head. His eyes, as the thoughts in his head settle into place, flicker about the clearing. The strange old hermit man Jiraiya, one of Naruto's teachers and possibly a sannin. Sasuke doesn't trust his shabby appearance. Shizune he dismisses out of hand; she's seated at a focal point on a ward-line—

_Because of the demon—there's a demon inside Naruto_, he thinks, eyes tracking away from the woman and along the ground, that crawly, cold-prickle tension in his middle with the sight of curling scrimshaw lines and the reflective buzz of chakra behind his ears.

Something's wrong. Something's _happening_. That's one of the strongest, complicated ward-lines he's ever seen.

His eyes run into the Hokage sitting on the outside of a low dark mass—squinting from behind his hair, he can make out depth and understands that Naruto is within that unlit hole. His chakra is burning from there, unseen, as Tsunade watches Sasuke with her hands in her lap.

"What happened?" Kakashi asks quietly, fingers easing away the bottle.

—_failed!_ chimes bitterly through Sasuke's head. _I failed completely __**failed—**__couldn't even__**—**_

"Sasuke," Kakashi murmurs in the wake of his silence. "That was an _order_."

"We fought," Sasuke lies, sliding eyes to the trees and canopy, the pale wash of blue beyond, missing the way Kakashi's eyebrow rises in amusement. "I don't remember much…"

—_but I tried to kill him,_ in his head, beating as quick as the pulse in his middle, as quick as the flicker of red on the edge of his vision. _Tried to __kill__ him—tried and—tried and—tried and failed and now what do I do?_

—the red, prickling chakra flares and twists brighter; Sasuke lurches back with a convulsive shudder. Kakashi's hand on his shoulder is the only thing keeping him stationary. _There_, Sasuke thinks, eyes raking the darkness but there's no visible presence within it. _There, right there is a demon, right there behind the wards—_

Something _wrong_ with Naruto…tried to kill him and now something is _wrong_—

After a moment, it flickers and subsides to backwashing gently on the edges of his senses. The shudder racking through him is painful; failed, _yes_, he failed but this—because of this—who could _fight_ this—?

_Is this chakra—is this because of—was it all because of this red, malignant __chakra__—?! _

Sasuke still recognizes it from so long ago, somehow familiar with the tang in the back of his throat that identifies everything that is Naruto to him, strange and alien and _aware of him_—

"Tell me what's going on," Sasuke asks in defense of Kakashi's tired glare, returns it with a half-strength scowl and pulls away from the hand on his shoulder. Wants to shudder and fights the urge to whine against the situation, the urge to make any noise of defiance—

"…Tsunade found you yesterday morning in Naruto's bed, alone. We could feel this from the village," Kakashi speaks softly, lifting a shoulder to indicate the tainted chakra around them. "Naruto's been within that cave since then; probably before, now that I think of it. Wasn't he tracking mud all over for the last few days?"

—a flash of indignant rage with the memory of that goddamned mud.

"But—"

"Did you realize he was stealing your chakra, Sasuke?" Kakashi reaches down and pokes the beetle to a safer part of his vest. "He's been storing up his own, too, which explains his inability to function. But, I guess it wasn't enough, or—" Kakashi manages a small smile. "Or because he could steal from you, it wasn't necessary to store up as much of his own."

"…_why_?" Sasuke breathes out, unable to bring enough voice to the word. _…stolen chakra?! __**My **__chakra?_ There is earth and detritus digging into his knees and legs. Confusion. The way Naruto had always wandered away in exhaustion, the way he _slept_. His possessive, thieving nature. Blinding anger. The idiot had _stolen from him_—

—_I'm always so tired—_

It's not easy to force his eyes to focus loosely on the disconcerting blank face of his teacher. His mind whirls into fragments of jointed thought, one thought to the next without remembering the first. Sasuke can't track them all, can't even begin—too much, too fast, so much _pain_—

"We don't know yet."

"_Then tell me what you do__know!"_ Sasuke catches his breath and holds it into glass-sharp heat in his middle, eyes tracking the wards and uses the dizzying confusion to hide behind, the echoes of mocking voices and that horrible, wretched _thing_ ripping apart inside him—

"We only know what it could be…" Kakashi catches his glance and replies gravely "The ward-lines are a precaution until we figure out what he's trying to do. You _know_ what he is, don't you, Sasuke?"

He does. The bastard must've caught him eyeing the lines. And Sasuke was here, seeing it and feeling it crisp the air around him—because Naruto had—his mind shies like a butterfly from the thought, unable to pin it down and _look_.

—_can't fight this can't can't can't—_

"…is he…" Too dizzy, too distressed by unnamed, black-fluttering panic, he can't force himself to finish.

"We don't know if he's alright; it's not quite safe to get closer. Do you even care if he survives this, Uchiha Sasuke?" Tsunade replies for the first time since his awakening, quietly reflective. The hard, icy coating is gone from her voice; she sounds tired and ill. He has no illusions that she won't read everything in his face and recoils defensively, hunching.

"…" Sasuke waits through an inarticulate moment of indignant anger without moving, barely breathing, because all of his clues and pieces still won't fit together. Naruto stealing chakra…out here in the woods, wild and lost in that abnormal chakra…

…and all Sasuke can do is echo Naruto's words from what feels like forever ago. "What's wrong with his chakra_—_?"

"Hmm…I thought he told you about the Kyuubi."

Sasuke flinches minutely, unable to control it. It wasn't the same as being _told_, if you found out by accident. Something mocks him with horrible choking laughter and Naruto—his demon—it had explained so _much_—

But I still don't understand! 

It's apparent that Sasuke has no intentions of speaking without encouragement; Tsunade sighs, poking at the ground with a twig. She has to crane her head back around her shoulder just to get a glimpse of his reactions, but she does it anyway to prevent any blemish on the warding seals made by turning around to face him fully.

"The soul of the creature resides within him, separate but for the influence of its chakra," she begins. "Like his abnormal healing rate, his stamina…"

Sasuke's fists clamp painfully tight against the loamy ground and he forces his voice to rasp, "…like instincts?"

"Yes," she replies gravely. "Like instincts."

In the murky indecision of what this could mean, its potential, Sasuke can't bring himself to speak—hears _I can't help it! _in Naruto's words, his behavior and violently-odd nature, Naruto's voice and the static-screech of another part making itself into sense. Something _wrong_ with his chakra, something different—  
—_redbrilliant__**red**__—  
_His _demon_. Whatever problem it was, Naruto couldn't stop it, couldn't control it, but Sasuke doesn't even know if this puts the _power_ of it back down to his level—

Tsunade fills in the silence with cool, matter-of-fact tones. "…and despite your involvement, you haven't made it any easier. I should send you back to the village, now that you're awake. No point in keeping you here."

Again, against his will, Sasuke flinches more from anger than shock. After all this time, waiting to know, the bitch is _still _withholding knowledge—

_I went to kill him,_ Sasuke's reaction is bright and furious, taking form in an onslaught of questions he wanted to shout at her, _It doesn't matter, I should __**know**__—tell me I have to—I still have to—tell me!—tell me what he's doing! What he's trying, what he _wants_—_

"But I suspect that would be a mistake on my part," Tsunade concedes reflectively, blandly. "We'll have enough to discuss after this. For now, you need to sit and be silent."

Sasuke's eyes narrow on her; the words fall into the stretch of confused, angry frustration but he bites his tongue against the seething words behind his rage. _Like a child like I'm some fucking child—_

For a moment, she stares him down until Sasuke drops his gaze like a heavy stone and listens to the rustle of her clothing when she turns to ignore him; Sasuke's left with the irritating, itchy sense that she's said her piece and makes no mistake about who has the upper hand.

Sasuke's hair is in his face, hiding most of his expression. He slouches with his hands against the ground, sprawled with his legs bent before him. He takes a measure of calm from the cool, gritty soil, clawing at it in one slow stroke.

_I'll find out somehow, I will!_

He sits there for the hour or so it takes for the light to darken, mute and aching and thinking furiously in the effort to figure it out before the chance passed. What it meant. What _he_ meant.

What _everything_ meant, and how Sasuke needs to use it.

-&-

Three hours after sunset, Sasuke's back to sleeping under a blanket at the base of a craggy oak, all but hidden. Tsunade, absently, passes a gaze over his curled-up form in speculation and worry; she pokes briskly at the fire to ward off the chill down her spine.

Next to her Jiraiya sips at his never-ending supply of sake. He harrumphs softly, tugging at the long ends of his hair. "So what should we do with Uchiha?" he asked softly. "The kid's not normal; you saw the way he woke up, earlier, like he was facing down hell itself…"

Tsunade snorts softly, thumping the old man's arm for his bottle. "Repressed trauma, I'm guessing," she replies evenly. "Healing the effects of the tsukiyomi once is hard enough; I'm positive he's suffered it more than once. I've never gotten the chance to examine him further." She huffs. "As if he'd ever let me. What do you think, Kakashi? You spend more time with the brat."

"He's mostly frightened," Kakashi offers, visible eye cracking slightly. He shifted, yawned and continued. "First, _nobody_ ever really knows how to deal with Naruto, and Sasuke…well, to summarize…Sasuke's just trying to hide his important things so they don't get broken."

"He looked…" _empty_, is the word she wants to use and drowns it with a heavy sigh. She dwells briefly on the way the Uchiha boy had ripped himself from sleep, the horrified anguish twisting his face, the shriek she recognized without ever hearing it from another person.

Her eyes fall on the dark shadow of Naruto and the low red-wash drone of chakra. _Important things, huh? _"I'll have a talk with him tomorrow."

-&-

The humming pitch of the red chakra changes late that evening, escalates into a dual-toned humming white noise more felt than heard. While Tsunade can't get close enough to see the exact reaction, she feels it sharply. Whatever Naruto's purpose was with that strange concoction, whatever he was trying to do, she _feels_ it scalding over her senses—over Kakashi and Jiraiya as both arrow their focus onto the source—over sleeping Sasuke, who stumbles through a breath—

—then it whipsnaps tight and filament-bright with a dull _thrummm_ that aches in her bones, but she barely feels it next to her terror, next to the stricken confusion when she sees the substance under Naruto's curled-up body, radiant and roiling with the chakra patterns that move and twist—Naruto has one arm drawn over the upper curve, the color sliding under it is red-edged black.

"What's happening?" asks Jiraiya's sake-hoarse voice.

"Tsunade-sama!"

"_Back_!" she orders without looking, sweat slick on her skin. "Stay back from the wards—_no matter what happens_!" Avoiding a break in the lines is their strongest card; the last thing she wants is something going wrong where she can't contain it. Slowly, Tsunade takes a breath, assessing, trying for calm.

"Be ready with the primary seal, Jiraiya," she finally rasps, mouth dry, unable to figure out how she manages to speak. She catches the blur of his hands and knows he'll wait on the last hand-seal until she gives the word or it becomes absolutely necessary. If she makes a mistake in timing, in strength, she could be trapped within the wards with Naruto.

Above her, intensely focused and crouching, Kakashi draws the Anbu blade he hasn't carried in years.

Tsunade waits, watching, counting the odds and risks—

_Thrumming_ underlay to the rising, crystalline tone, harmonizing—the chakra patterning over the red-murky goop holds a steady pulse, twitching and twisting as quickly as her heartbeats.

She doesn't dare let her guard down as it shimmers innocently around her, ignoring her in lieu of whatever's happening…but she doesn't raise the hand that trembles with fine-grained fear, the words to constrict the wards and rebind the alien spirit are quiet and ashen in her mouth.

They wait for hours, balanced on numb legs and a pincushion edge of anticipation and despair. Tsunade feels each heartbeat thudding at her temples, each jump in adrenaline with every swirl of dull, burning chakra. She can see that Naruto _still_ hasn't moved and refuses to decide if it's good or not. The demon's chakra interferes with her ability to judge Naruto's vital signs from a distance.

He could be dying, and she has no idea.

A hesitant, soft birdcall somewhere in the forest. She looks up; it's nearly morning. It takes everything she has just to stay still and calm before such wild, malicious power.

"Switch with me, Tsunade-hime. You need some sleep." Jiraiya's hands are still shaking, but his voice is gruff and kind.

"But—"

"Fuck, if something was going to happen, it would have already! Now, switch with me before I drag you out of there."

"Yeah. Yeah, okay," and the echo of her own voice is weak and trembling. She sighs softly, and looks back to the forest and rubs a brisk forearm over her eyes. "I should talk to Uchiha, first. While I have the chance. Wake the little punk up."

-&-

Sasuke wakes from a dreamless, suffocating sleep to a swift nudge in his side, courtesy of Kakashi's foot. Blearily, he blinks in the pre-dawn gray light, rolling onto his back with tight, earth-bruised muscles. "What?" he mutters sourly, spitting the overnight foulness from his mouth.

"Hokage wants to talk to you."

"Why?"

Sasuke watches Kakashi shrug and pulls himself into sitting, discreetly stretching arms and legs. Sleep weighs on him leaden and thick; he's woken with a headache and an odd ringing noise. The man watches Sasuke shake his head, rubbing briefly at his ears and neck before he realizes it's not _quite_ a sound.

Sasuke isn't aware of how quickly his gaze snaps in the direction of Naruto, vaguely shocked on the edges. The fire between him and Naruto is nothing but coals; nothing but shadows and the ripple of chakra afterburning his eyes. It's different. His eyes itch and he wants to fling wide with the sharingan to _see_—

"She's waiting, Sasuke. Go on. Naruto's not going anywhere." Kakashi sort-of smiles when the dark-haired Uchiha slides dark, livid eyes in his direction, glaring at him.

"Did something happen?" Sasuke asks.

"Not yet. Hurry up before she passes out."

-&-

By the morning of the third day, the entire village is aware of something that lurks just beyond the village walls, elusive and impossible to pin even as it nips and crackles. The awareness comes in gradual degrees; a few people here raising their heads in instinctive attention.

Most of the villagers sensitive to chakra, shinobi and citizen alike, just don't know _what_ it is.

Shizune, per orders, keeps it that way by instructing the Anbu to spread the word 'it was nothing, the matter is being dealt with, ignore it.'

Nervous, twitchy, the Anbu go about reassuring the clots of people in the streets; anxious mothers, white-faced elders, wide-eyed and silent children holding tight to grim fathers. Despite it all, rumors spread as quickly as the chakra flickering on the edge of vision; Naruto, off fighting with Sasuke. Naruto, training. Naruto, fucking up again.

_Naruto_, some say, because they _know_.

-&-

The boy half-stumbling, half-striding towards her is still exhausted from the sudden consummation of his chakra and stubbornly mutinous. She can see it in his shoulders with the way he sets himself down, just shy enough of proper to be insulting. She bites down on the exasperated noise and debates if she should mention that she can see the trembling in his legs perfectly fine.

"Sleep well?" she asks when he doesn't speak.

The sky lightens and the first minutes tick away. Two, three birds are singing out their morning devotions; she finally yawns and asks impatiently "Well, what do you want to know?"

His eyes flash across her in half-hidden suspicion; his jaw flexes twice before he resentfully replies "Everything."

Tsunade's mouth firms into something like a smile. "Naruto was less than six hours old when the Yondaime sealed the spirit of the Kyuubi into him. He's what you would call a jinchuuriki, a host. There's a difference between human and demonic chakra that makes it difficult to just blend into someone's system; it needs to be filtered."

She pauses long enough to allow any questions that Uchiha might have, but the boy is silent. "But it still has certain effects on a human system. Naruto gained certain abilities, as I've mentioned, as well as suffering periodic flux of chakra that made him ill at increasingly odd intervals."

Mutely, Sasuke merely listens, his eyes hidden behind the fall of dark hair; she's stiff with a gentle pity for the boy as he sits there, half awake and struggling to comprehend something she doesn't even understand yet, his inability of expression.

"..but _why_ did you…why didn'tyou just destroy it?"

"It took over half the village and the life of the Yondaime just to lock it up," she replies. "It was the only way to protect the village from utter desolation. The _only_ _choice we had_ left Naruto with the instincts of a spirit fox and the lethal potential to rip apart _everyone_. Potentially within days."

Sasuke waits on bent legs and iron silence, anger and mistrust and bitter aggression set aside. He doesn't speak, thoughts blind with everything she's revealing, _despairing_ all of it and hating how it feels.

"I don't know what to _do_ with you, Uchiha," the Hokage speaks quietly, reflectively and strangely maternal. She holds up her hands and starts to tick off her fingers. "Openly disobedient, resentful and offensive_—_you may have improved his condition, but that's not an excuse for your actions. But—I don't need to list your faults, or my own, to be disappointed in the way we handled this."

For a moment the Hokage regards him with absolutely no expression; his shoulders are stubbornly tight and straight, his hands folded over his thighs. She can read his pulse and pallor and breathing to tell his nervous and anxious and still shielding behind defensive fury.

_Maybe Kakashi was right,_ she thinks, studying the way his eyes remain fixed on the thick, dark mud under the leaves and roots, the tension straining and painful at his temples. _Maybe he does care._

But if a child like Uchiha Sasuke does fall into that category, he certainly expressed it with all the warmth of a kunai. 

But it fits, clarifies so much and despite of all the heartache this had wrought, she knows what it is to violently avoid an emotion that utterly breaks you, that cracks you into shards and pulls it piece by piece out of the middle of what you will never be again.

What it is to _risk_ something beneath all that suffocating terror.

"Will you tell me what happened? What _really_ happened between you and Naruto?" she asks, neutrally polite. "Because if Kakashi's right and you're in love with Naruto, then it's—"

—_then it's possible you might be a catalyst to Naruto's condition,_ is what she intends to say but Uchiha's face is grave-white and stricken—

"—_what?!_" from a pale, unmoving face, eyes shocked grayish and _horrified_—

Tsunade sees his hands clench so hard she knows the bones will fracture in less than sixteen minutes if he doesn't stop. She doesn't know if his reaction should surprise her; somehow it _does_ because it's grating and painful and thinks _Denial is not a good sign_—and hopes she isn't wrong and unable to believe the possibility of Uchiha's actions as _deliberate cruelty_—

"—_no_," Sasuke chokes out with a fleeting expression of denial, of rage and a vast devouring sorrow. "You're wrong you're _wrong_—"

"Am I?" Tsunade asks without expecting an answer, snapping off her words, watching him break apart. It's been seething and condensing and she's been waiting for it, knows it has to happen. "All of the fighting, the sex, Naruto's fucked-up chakra—_I'm_ wrong?"

"—_yes!—_" Sasuke's half-strangled shriek and curled-in, wounded posture states otherwise. "I'm not—"

"I'm wrong about the way you love him, _after everything you've done_ _to hurt him_?!"

One single breathless gasp of noise and Sasuke recoils frozen in front of her. The expression half-hidden by his matted, dark hair is white panic-coated anguish and his whispered words are harsh and strained and hollow and she's finally snapped him in two, she knows it—

"—I had to_—I had to _it won't work that way _it won't—_if he doesn't hate me then he's _more _and I'll have to kill him just to…j-just to…" his hands are shaking; mouth parted and eyes hidden and she's never seen anybody in such a state of physical shock—hears one broken, keening sound choked off in the middle and a gaspy, half-hysterical—

"_Itachi said I had to_—"

Tsunade's faces goes colder than the rain from yesterday, hands spasming in her lap. The only thing keeping her in check is the lurking, unnatural crimson tinge and Naruto trapped within it, the only thing that motivates her to try and _listen_ and understand what the boy was trying to say, but—

_Kill him?!_

She'd almost forgotten the secrets kept behind that young, unreadable face, harder to forget he's only just sixteen and still desperately trying to deny his grief. She, like everyone else, had wondered about Itachi, about the events that led to Sasuke's solitary existence, about the things that were shared between them.

Why did he tell you to kill the person that loves you, is on the edge of her tongue, focused and sharp and maybe now she'll have a better idea on how to deal with him— 

—but Sasuke's eyes are wrenching to Naruto—

—and Tsunade is horribly aware of feeling too old to handle the whiplash snap and boil of red charring energy—

—and Naruto, twitching briefly in his curled-up position in the pile of muck, thin pain skimming across his face, the sheer deafening _void_ of his chakra behind the surging furious red. Something more terrible than the malevolent red chakra skims across her senses, stopping her heart and lungs in horror with the knowledge _his heart was giving out_—

—and before she's realized she's moving, Tsunade's jumping the wards and ignoring ether-red chakra and its oily mist on her mind_—not this anything but this—_stumbling to half-fall over Naruto and wrench him onto his back with her right hand. Reddish glop smears down his chest and arm; his left is still half-immersed.

Numb, voiceless thoughts with a hand to his chest, disregarding the stinging, crackling chakra whipping around her, the Hokage calls up every ounce of straining control and power and _presses_ it to Naruto's chest.

_—sharp searing pain in the center of his chest, sharp too sharp so much breath-stealing pain­—_

Desperate, grieving, she pours as much chakra into his depleted system, as much as he can take, praying it will be enough. Praying he'll live. As much as she has, anything to keep the rain-drop beat of his heart going.

If she fails, oh god if she _fails him_—

"Tsunade!" comes Kakashi's confused, panicking question, coming closer. He must have felt the absence of Naruto's intangible signature as keenly as dropping off a cliff—

—barely enough awareness for Sasuke's unrelenting white-coated shock; she's sure he can feel it too but doesn't have time to worry about the way he could react—

It's all she can do, all she can give, to keep Naruto's heart beating. Pouring supporting chakra, healing as much of the chakra-burned pathways as she can, unable to spare attention to see what Kakashi and her old team-member could be doing in response to this situation. She just empties out into Naruto, into a drained depth she didn't know he was made of.

_Such stamina, indeed, to store all that excess energy and __**channel**__ it, too…_

Tsunade sets her teeth and ignores the foolish despair, stubbornly ignores the prick of tears, the tightness spreading from her chest to her throat.

_Live damn you, you have to live—_

The response she gleans is not expected, almost _missed_ in her concentration…the heart thuds once—the first time in nearly a minute—under her hands.

The _voice _is unmistakable.

"…do you think I am _dying_?" a mocking, weary rasp, a liquid rumble of amusement. "_Hardly_."

—_thu-__**thud**__—_

The chakra reflux under her hands is boiling, magma-black and _burning_, snapping, as she recoils away from it in shock. Choking on her air, she jerks her hands away from Naruto and just barely keeps from fleeing from it altogether.

The eye peering at her from the crack of Naruto's lashes is as crimson as the chakra that slugs out from the center of the seal.

"You receive no thanks for keeping the stupid one alive," the demon murmurs irritably with Naruto's voice tainted darker. Naruto's face is half-covered with the strange glop he's curled around, but it's the fox's will that opens the mouth and ingests a mouthful. Naruto's eyes, slit crimson _force_ peering out at her and somehow, within it all, absently imagining how to bite her into pieces.

"…what have you _done_?" Tsunade whimpers, breathless.

"Hnnn….it's obvious, I should think. But then _all_ you pathetic things are stupid." Another mouthful, tongue over lips and then hands flexing slowly. The irritation and boredom shifts to sly amusement. "Wasn't it fun?"

"You've killed him," Tsunade shakes, feeling old and frail despite the appearance. "Why? Just to find an exit? For what purpose?"

"_Killed_ him?" the voice turns sour and insulted. "No fun in _that_," the crimson slit-pupil eye narrows and she wants to strike him—_it_—as hard as her waning strength will allow.

"This is still your fault! What have you _done_ to him, you sniveling, furless _rat_?"

"_My_ fault?" Naruto's face in a grimace of a grin. "_I've _done nothing, hag. _I _did not _choose_ this. Remove the seal and be rid of me, then. He'll recover quite nicely."

"You'll have to try harder than that," Tsunade mutters, twisting her hands together. "Answer me. What did you _do?_"

"Hn." She endures the moment where the creature chuckles dark and thickly before answering. "What are we but energy and chemicals? I have no time to spare on details. Wouldn't tell you anyway, decrepit one." A broad slather-swipe of the tongue over the misshapen lump that Naruto's body created and curled over. "I only watched."

"Damn you—" she snarls, voice nearly breaking. "He could still die and I want some answers!"

"…_I'd_ like some quiet, you loud bitch, but _I've_ no patience to shut you up. Tell the stupid brat I won't save his ass next time. He's on his own. He'll know how." A second swipe, a brief nosing against the substance and a quick malcontent grin on Naruto's face. "The retard shouldn't use it all at once or he'll end up killing himself. What would you dirty little apes do _then_, hmmm?"

And then, as she watches the beast with a human face make one final swipe, it clicks into place.

It takes the last of her strength to breath. She can't move. It's impossible.

The Kyuubi-red fades with one last, mocking delighted-snarl laugh, and Naruto exhales, eyes that fade to blue fluttering shut.

It isn't _possible_. _Not humanly possible…_

The lump of substance moves, bleats into a wail and it just…isn't…

It couldn't be.

The infant under Naruto's arm hitches and struggles to breath and cries out again.

-&-

Sasuke isn't close enough to hear the words from Naruto's mouth, but his vision is sharp enough to see the blazing crimson eyes set in Naruto's face, the mocking razor-wide smile that—_Kyuubi—is that the __**Kyuubi?—**_gives to the Hokage sitting on her wards, afraid and shaking and holding her ground. Sasuke can't feel his legs from where he sits, overwhelmed with trembling panic under the absent awareness of this creature in Naruto's body—

Naruto, who lived-smiled-mocked-challenged him— 

"_Damn you—" _comes Tsunade's angry snarl. _"He could still die and I want some answers!"_

Jiraiya's rough, unheard whisper "Tsunade!"

Naruto, always alone, always caught with this beast— 

Sasuke doesn't know what to think about what could be happening to Naruto, doesn't even _know_ what's happening now—

189 days and I _still don't know_—

Sasuke's hands clench on his lap, white in mute testament to the suffocating, despairing rage cracking his spine. He's barely aware of Naruto's mouth smeared with some reddish fluid, of Naruto swallowing, his gaze is caught by the way the grin is large and too sharp for the face and the situation, worried and thinking —_it doesn't bother me that it was you_ and wants to scream because he couldn't—didn't want to—_wouldn't_—

A sudden, irrational unexpected _horror_ at the sound of something, a wail, a sound that squeezes pain through his middle, _sure_ that it was his sound ripped from somewhere dark in him, made audible.

"—Jiraiya!" Tsunade's breathless, stunned cry.

_Is __**Naruto**__ making that noise?_

In the corner of Sasuke's vision and stilted aftershock of confusion, Jiraiya slugs the sake bottle dry without answering.

—no, it's not— 

Moments are reduced to brief snaps of memory.

Tsunade lifting something from the muck—black, thick mud dripping from her hands—spattered on Naruto's now-unconscious face—keenly aware of the way Naruto's throat thrums with a struggling pulse. The rain-damp seeping from the ground. His toes are cold.

The thud of pressure in his ears, the overwhelming cold ratcheting down his sides and middle and back. Hands clenched so hard the dry, creaking sound is what tiny rips in the muscle must sound like—

—Something small and mud-slimy placed on Tsunade's lap and Sasuke couldn't _breathe—_ _everything's cold_—

He isn't aware of it, but Kakashi waits beside him a respectful distance away because Sasuke's eyes are bleeding into sharingan. Naruto, fallen on his side, so limp and _pale_ engraving into his memory like acid. The effort it took just to keep his eyes open and not anywhere else—

Tsunade's hand sweeps away part of the jutsu. "Shizune, here, take it—I need to continue with Naruto—"

Naruto, limp and pale and _silent—_

—_no_, a part of him denies. _No way no it can't be not __**possible**__ can't be possible—_

But his eyes are keen to pick out the individual strands in each stitch of Shizune's clothing, the bundled, mud-smeared mass with a surprising shock of black hair and a wrinkled, wailing face, smeared with something too close to blood to sit well with Sasuke—

—keen enough to fracture _everything_ when it—he? she?—_it_ gulps and wails for acknowledgement.

—_no no it's not fair it's not __**possible**__ it's not—it's not—you stupid bastard __**dobe,**__ you—_Everything blurs, loosens and reddens, pieces gone before he forgets them.

—_you always ruin everything—_

-&-

Kakashi is quick enough to catch Sasuke's slumping form before he goes face first into the mud; the man mutters a curse as he supports the limp, shaking form with one arm, sheathing his blade with one quick motion. "Sasuke?"

Sasuke only shudders in his arms, eyes wide and blank with the sharingan, arms crossing in front from some instinctive defense mechanism, legs tensing in a miniscule effort to get back. Breathes in shallow, rasping sucks of air.

"What's wrong with him?" Tsunade calls, too focused on keeping her exhausted chakra seeping into Naruto's body to look up.

"Something set him off," Kakashi replies carefully. "I don't think he's handling this well—"

But the boy's aware enough to push suddenly at Kakashi's grip; Sasuke eels out and away, scooting backwards on his hands and ass, head down, heels scraping up muddy clumps of leaves and moss. After a second, he overbalances on the way to standing and sinks a knee in the mud, sways with a light, papery noise.

"Leave him," Tsunade murmurs warningly when Kakashi crouches to rise. "We don't have time."

Kakashi watches his student's head flinch towards the village—_away from Naruto_, the man thinks—watches how he pulls himself upright, how Sasuke starts to walk away with eerie, stumbling grace. Kakashi bites down on the urge to call after him and glances to the small wriggling thing that Shizune is wiping clean, her eyes darting fearful, awed glances to the infant. This would definitely make things interesting.

_Once you're ready to face it_, he amends silently.

"Well, I'll be a toasted toad," Jiraiya mutters. "Guess that explains it."

"Should've seen this coming," Tsunade replies more to herself. "All the signs were there, and it slipped in right under my nose…Dammit."

"Now what?" Kakashi says, meaning everything.

"I'll need to you tell Tsukamoto to stand down," Tsunade wipes mud from Naruto's face, still shaking from the too-close memory of Naruto's heart faltering under the strain of so much chakra, the struggle to keep him alive. "For now, we keep this quiet until I figure out what to tell the council. Shizune, trail after Uchiha and make sure he doesn't pass out somewhere. At a safe distance, mind you—then prepare Naruto's room for—for this."

I'm too **old** for this, she thinks, wanting to weep with relief and confusion. But he's alive, everyone's alive and now… 

Now, maybe Naruto would have his hands full and stop sending her to bed sleepless with worry.

"At least it's not a fox," Jiraiya mutters, belching softly. "Who wants to toast the new baby?"

"Goddammit!" Tsunade flings a clump of muck at him. "Get over here and help me, you dirty old coot!"

-&-

On the evening of the third day, within an hour of the collapse of the red-tainted chakra, Tsukamoto turns his head from a briefing with two jounin to hear a scuffle on the shadowed length of wall some fifteen yards away. Immediately, he holds a hand to quell any movement.

Uchiha Sasuke stumbles away from them, leaning heavily against the shoulder-high retaining wall. Tsukamoto can't tell if Uchiha was injured or not, but something in the set of his spine was…stricken. Regardless, he keeps his distance on some inner warning. There might be nothing wrong with Uchiha Sasuke, but Tsukamoto isn't sure he wants to risk approaching.

After moments of just standing there, one hand curled against the wall for balance, the Uchiha descends from sight along a set of stairs with slow, wounded steps, and ten minutes later, Shizune is along with orders to stand-down the high-alert patrolling. Tsukamoto thinks no more of it.

Within a week, he'd receive forty-seven different reports of sightings and hauntings and genjutsu traps laid out over the general vicinity of the Uchiha district.

-&-

Naruto doesn't remember waking the first time. It isn't really awareness, but the shockwave of the last three days has drawn almost all Tsunade's strength; she doesn't notice the way Naruto's fingers twitch.

A knock on the door distracts her.

"Mm…yes?" Tsunade asks, turning her head while rubbing away the tension lingering there.

"Tsunade-sama," Shizune stage-whispers, standing there, fractionally leaning against the door. Tsunade can see the echoing weariness in the set of her jaw and shoulders, the shaking of the protective grasp on the bundle against her middle. "The…the, um…Naruto's…" and pauses after a moment, unsure as a white-clad med-nin nurse bustled by.

Tsunade rose to stand close, gesturing her inside. "Were there any abnormalities?"

"It's—it's small, but well-formed. The chakra pathways are more developed than a five-year-old, but it has all the proper organs in all the proper places, ten fingers and toes." Shizune takes a slow, baffled moment to inhale. "It's _just_ a child, two months mature and only a day or so born. Tsunade-sama, I—I don't— how is it even _possible?_"

"Interesting, isn't it?" Tsunade replies blandly. "Combining energy and chemicals—proteins and nutrients and everything that a normal, human female would provide…and the energy to fuel growth…Such a thing created with only chakra and make-shift protein shake to sustain it. Impressive, even for a jinchuuriki."

Shizune doesn't speak; there are no words that contain the fact it wasn't possible in human measures.

"What news about Naruto?" Tsunade asks, eyes straying to the pale, motionless boy propped up on a hospital pillow. "Have the doctors determined if the damage is lasting?"

"I haven't heard anything that we don't already know. His chakra's reached the halfway point of recovery, though some areas of his hands and arms are still damaged from the channeling. The doctors can't say when he'll recover and wake, but he's responding."

"Good. _Good_," Tsunade turns her head to Shizune, relief and worry mixing in her expression. She's only a step or two away; Tsunade reaches out and pulls her into a brief, clutching hug. "Shizune. You did well. Take the child to the Tower; I'll be by in a bit to see when to start another bottle. Discretely, please."

"You're still not going to tell the council what happened, are you?" Shizune pauses to assess her teacher still at arms-length. "Alright, if you think it's best." She nods, and is gone in the moment before Tsunade can nod back. For a long three minutes, she finds herself at the window, thoughts in turmoil as she takes in the familiar, heart-ache view of Konoha.

_Things weren't meant to be this way. Naruto should be a happy, carefree young man. No demons, no problems, no instability._

_Uchiha should've had a family, not the broken, hollow pain his brother left behind. That soulless fool shows up in my village, I'll kill him myself,_ she thinks in grief and rage for all that Uchiha Itachi had stolen. She feels too old and confused by everything, by the possibilities and Uchiha's knee-jerk reaction, confused by the tired knowledge of why Sasuke was terrified enough to hide it, hide everything...

There was too much she hadn't seen, hadn't stopped, _hadn't treated carefully_—

_Lots of what-ifs on this one,_ she tells herself harshly. _What-ifs never change what **is**._

Somehow, Naruto had given Uchiha Sasuke a child.

It makes everything _ache_, the possibilities, drowned with the dangerous likelihood of Uchiha's reaction to this extraordinary development.

Naruto, by coincidence or luck, takes this moment to roll his head slowly on the pillow, eyes cracking to show dull, bloodshot blue, staring at some spot on the wall. It's only been four minutes since Shizune left, and Tsunade doesn't notice the movement.

_Maybe he'll finally grow up and stop acting like a spoiled bitch,_ she's musing when something blips; Tsunade turns her head to see Naruto pulling himself up with the grace of an old man, hunching over until his chin nearly pokes into his chest. Shock rippled through her, as another machine shrills out an alarm.

She wants him awake but this is too soon—!

Eyes fixed on the same spot, vaguely focused, Naruto leans for the edge of the bed. By all appearances, he's perfectly fine with smacking face-first into the floor with whatever motivation spurs him on. His eyes are fixed in an unblinking stare at some vague point.

Shizune, she thinks as her eyes instinctively track his line of sight past the wall and through the window. _Shizune's in that direction; the child_…The tower was in that direction, and through her exasperation she pulls apart Shizune's summon cord.

_Damn it all, what other surprise instincts do you have up your sleeve?_

Shizune poohfs back into the room just as Naruto tumbles off the bed and rolls, landing on his front. He grunts, half asleep and Shizune raises the baby to her chest.

"What happened?"

Smothering the grin from her voice, Tsunade comments, "Seems we shouldn't separate them. He woke up the moment you were far enough away."

"We'll have to take him to the tower, won't we? Is it safe enough? What are we going to do, Tsunade-sama, with this hidden away? What if it's _dangerous?_"

"It's a _child_," Tsunade reminds her, gently. "_Naruto's_ child, thus made through a type of jutsu. Do we kill it and expect him to understand?" a pause, and in a voice so delicate Shizune has to strain to hear it, she murmurs "Do we take away what little family Uchiha has left?"

-&-

Naruto dreams of fields and skies and trees before finally waking to the afternoon light in the room of the tower. He is sore and unable to move his heavy limbs, or even turn his head more than a few degrees without feeling dizzy. But this isn't his apartment…

Confused, blinking grainy vision, Naruto sees the Hokage seated at a desk in its makeshift spot near the window. She hasn't noticed him, and actually seems to be doing some work. _What happened? Why do I feel so weird? What __**happened**_he thinks, tries to speak and croaks just loud enough to be heard.

Glancing up, Tsunade turns his way, a moment's hesitation in her relief. She rises and goes all the way to the side of the bed before speaking. "How do you feel, Naruto? I'm glad to see you awake."

"Guh," Naruto rasps, swallowing. "Whhrr…" he tries again, voiceless. Tsunade tips a cup over his mouth and Naruto manages a swallow of cold water. The liquid cramps his stomach, slides down his cheek and neck as he does it again despite it all.

"Where…?" Naruto finally asks hoarsely. _It's my other room…but wasn't I…wasn't Sasuke here?_

"I moved my desk in here to keep an eye on you," Tsunade tells him after shoving a pillow down behind Naruto to prop him up, folding hands in her lap. Naruto can't understand why she looks so tired and haggard, so worried.

"...s'what happened?" he whispers, acutely aware of how _shitty_ he feels just trying to talk. Exhausted and sore and inexplicably heavy. _Did I sleep for a week? _

"How about you tell me what happened with Sasuke, first."

"Huh?" Naruto coughs, frowning in the uneasy awareness that she knew about Sasuke showing up in the tower—what, yesterday? "What about him?"

_No, longer_, something tells him, under the niggling sense of something darker, something _redder_…

"What happened with Sasuke?" Tsunade tries again, patiently.

"Asshole tried to kill me," Naruto mutters, trailing off with eyes narrow against the pain that goes with it. "Then he chickened out."

"He actually _tried_ to…" and Tsunade's face goes through a series of expressions from anger to worry to recognition and finally irritation. "Does he even—" she stops to regroup and watches him strangely before completely changing the end of her question. "_Then_ what happened?"

Naruto rolls his eyes and gathers enough energy for a tired scowl. "Then we talked."

Tsunade tilts her head to give him a _don't bullshit me _look that sticks him right down the middle and Naruto stubbornly ignores the heat creeping behind his ears. "Was that before or after the sex-part and leaving Sasuke alone and naked in your bed?"

"_Huh?_" Naruto twists his head to face her, works his mouth for words that don't begin right away. He's somewhat unnerved by the memory of pale flesh and shadowed skin that flashes through his head, of the seething sense of some strange chakra dream. "We didn't—I don't remember—wait, _what?_ I _left_?! Where did I go?"

"Don't you remember what happened?"

"…no," Naruto slides his eyes back to the ceiling because somehow, it'll be better if he isn't looking at her, mind sinking behind flashes of pain ripping through him. "Not…really."

"I wish it was something simple to explain," Tsunade begins in the voice Naruto recognizes as Authority. "But it's not. You've got instincts unlike anyone else in this village; of course, you know why. That mud, by the way, came from the den you dug out in the forest—"

"—are you _serious?!"_

"—where you took all the chakra you were storing up—"

"S-Storing chakra?!" Naruto strangles out, his grip on the bedsheet white-knuckled and numb. "But why?"

"That's not so easy to explain," Tsunade replies. "By the way, your demon says that he won't save your ass next time, because you should know better than to use it all at once."

"_What?!_" Naruto screeches. "Kyuubi said—!? What the fuck happened? Why? He's not, he didn't—I mean, I'm not—"

"Naruto," the Hokage calls his name to grab his focus and calm him down. When he slides his wide, stunned eyes to her face, she continues. "I'm certain that your seal is in no danger from whatever happens to your chakra every month. It was, as I told you earlier, a form of instinct you had no control over. For the last four, five months—from the first time you got your hands on Sasuke—you've been storing up your chakra because of it."

"…_that's_ why? That's it?"

"Not quite. You were trying to store more than you could produce, which is why you slept so much. You stole Sasuke's chakra, too, which is why you conveniently 'got better' with him around. You took everything you had and more, and ended up out in the forest."

"I was stealing…" Naruto feels it click into place and wonders at the way it doesn't seem to bother him. _I don't remember going out there. I don't remember getting mud everywhere. I don't remember stealing the food—_It makes too much sense. "You still haven't told me why. Or don't you know why?"

"Oh, I know why it happened," Tsunade replies with a strange hint of a smile. "It was…unavoidable. Tell me, Naruto. What's the ultimate purpose for mating instincts?"

"Uh," Naruto blushes lightly. "Lots of sex?"

"Not completely, but you're close. Try _reproduction_."

"…like babies," Naruto replies slowly. "So, I was trying to have babies—wait…that's not funny 'cause I'm not a _girl_, old lady. I can't have babies."

"What do you mean, it isn't funny?" Archly, Tsunade smirks. "Your fox thought it was the best entertainment ever."

"It's…I–I don't—" Naruto's face is devoid of its former blush; his eyes have darkened to a distressed grayish blue, but Tsunade isn't surprised. Shock is to be expected. One breath. A second.

"_Do I?_" is what finally leaks out of Naruto's mouth.

"You have a son, Naruto," Tsunade speaks formally, her tone both tired and amused. Amazingly, she grins briefly at him. "Would you like to see him?"

Stunned, Naruto tries to speak something that comes out as a stricken noise. It takes Tsunade only moments to rise from the bed and bend over the small crib tucked in the corner. Naruto hadn't even _noticed_ it.

Naruto's hands tear through sheets and down to the mattress and something spasms inside too tightly to swallow about when she lifts something and turns. It can't be true. Things like this just don't happen. He can't help the flinch when she settles next to him any more than the immediate response to try to sit up and _look_—

Tsunade hefts him up from the pillows with her free arm, settling on the edge and half-hugging Naruto to keep him upright.

…_mine?_ he thinks, echoing, suffocated when he sees pink skin and one tiny, waving fist. Murky gray eyes blink at him owlishly from a squished-looking face—_this is mine—_and such wispy dark hair that Naruto knows instantly this was something undeniably _altering._

"Are you sure?" he asks weakly, knowing what she'll say. _It's mine_ from the depths of everything, strong and certain, even though this was Sasuke's child. It was. He _knows _it. "_How_? I'm not a girl! I didn't—I don't know how I—"

His heart's thudding like it did during battle, or taunting Sasuke and getting him mad. Oh god. First the months of not knowing what the fuck was wrong and now—

Now this— 

—_does this make me a freak?! _

This with _Sasuke—_

"You did something very strange," Tsunade is saying. "There are theories, you know, about sustaining or creating life without a physical body, but no one human has the knowledge or the power to do it." She pauses, and Naruto drags his stinging eyes away from sight of the baby—_his_ _son_—trying to suck on fingers that wouldn't bend right, yet.

"You did both. You _made_ this child from raw chakra and some sort of goop you threw together. You pilfered a bunch of food and mixed it with dirt and god knows what else; it served as a nutrient base, and…all your stored-up chakra that you used. You probably should've used more." She makes a gesture over the child. "Three days later, you have a baby. Jiraiya seems to think that some demons procreate at will, and I suppose these instincts are your inheritance."

"But I don't know _shit_ about babies!" Naruto protests. "I don't even know how I—how I—_how am I supposed to do this_?"

_What do I **tell** people? What does Sasuke think? I can't train with a baby—where the hell is Sasuke?_

"Babies aren't complicated, just tedious," Tsunade uses the low, reassuring voice she's only ever had to use on new mothers. "Do you want to hold your son? Maybe welcome him to the family?"

_My son. My __**family**_ The words strike the deepest scars that Naruto tries to ignore—if this is real—family, so long and _finally_—he reaches out a fingertip and feathers a touch over the tiny, grasping hand, the fluffy tufts of dark-inky hair and eyes that stare unfocused in his direction—unaware of the way his jaw is clenched and locking back his breath, the way his hand shakes when he presses one pudgy cheek.

"I-I really made him?"

_My family—Sasuke's son_ he thinks under the confusing sweep of anger and indignation. Anger because it's Sasuke, because this wasn't supposed to be like this, with the demon and Sasuke and now _this, _now this—he wants to ask about Sasuke, where the hell was the bastard and why he wasn't here to _see_—

"That's right."

_My child MY CHILD_, bright and fierce and wildly grieving. No one can take this. No one will ever _hurt _this—he wouldn't ever let them because he knows that now, _now_, he'll kill everyone if he had to, just to keep this strange, wriggling small thing safe.

Naruto isn't aware of the evidence twisting his face into something between hungry need and fear and watching, Tsunade doesn't know how to comfort him in this situation except to wordlessly gesture with the baby.

"H-How?" Naruto rasps, swiping a forearm across his face.

"Here. Like this. You'll have to support his head; he's not strong enough yet."

Naruto eases cautious hands that twitch with nerves under the light fabric, almost dizzy with the effort of raising something more solid than he'd expected. The tiny, frail neck fits neatly into his shaking, cupped palm; Naruto supports the curled-up legs and lower half with the thought—_he kinda looks like a frog_, _all bent up like that_—and darts a glance to Tsunade out of thinly-disguised panic.

"He's so _tiny_," Naruto whispers. "That's…that's okay, right? He's normal, right?"

"He's perfectly normal, Naruto."

Tsunade catches the wild, heart-breaking flash of blue when Naruto's head lifts sharply and he looks at her to see all the unspoken words behind her gentle smile.

_Normal_. _**Normal**__, not like me, not alone and afraid and hated—not alone 'cause he's got me—_

His vision blurs; he's mildly grateful the baby's on his lap because his hands are shaking too much to hold it. Grits his teeth and swipes an arm over his face to hide the spasm of painful relief—

_He's got me and Sasuke and – and he'll never have to be alone—_

On the next breath he sobs harshly, tensing under Tsunade's arms. She pulls him close and strokes his hair as he collides through his heartbreak. The baby waits between them, and she doesn't miss the way Naruto's hand touches briefly at face and nose and chin even though his grief.

Later, Naruto snuffles and clears his throat to mutter, "W-what about Sasuke?"

"Mmm…I'm not sure," Tsunade replies slowly, cautiously as Naruto scrubs his face clear of snot and tears. His eyes have cleared; she's not surprised at the way he's accepted it and moved past it to the meaning of _what happens now_.

"Where's the bastard, anyway? Does…does he…"

"He knows. I'm pretty sure he knows."

"Then—then why isn't he here?"

"Naruto…" Tsuande replies even slower, warily. "I'd like nothing more to tell you that Sasuke'll be here with flowers and cigars and planning a celebration…but I don't know if he _can_. He's…you didn't see what happened while you were busy…you…I mean…"

Naruto watches her struggle to find the words, her attempt at making sense falling into that strange awkwardness people got when trying to break bad news gently. "Did he freak out or something?"

Tsunade sighs so deeply he feels disorientated; he's never seen her look so tired and helpless. "You could say he's upset—but I just…I just don't know. He's…" She can't tell Naruto about the legacy Itachi's left behind for Sasuke because it isn't her place. She doesn't have the words for it. Softly, exasperated, she shrugs. "You'll just have to talk to him, but first, we need to discuss a few things like apartments and baby-care."

"I gotta _move_, too?"

"We'll start with diaper-changing, I think..."

"…okay, now, you're kidding, right?"

-&-

It's late when Naruto finally lifts his head from his arms on the windowsill, the cool breeze light against his face. Two days. He had slept most of yesterday away, waking in a panic to a sobbing wail at some ungodly hour of the night, heart thudding so hard he had forgotten where he was. A moment later Tsunade had walked in, shushing and rocking at the fretting baby, a bottle in hand.

2:37 a.m., he had fed his son for the first time; quietly cried a little after Tsunade had left with a sleepy "Change his diaper when you're done."

Today, she is gone and Naruto hasn't moved from the window for nearly an hour.

He's already decided that Sasuke has to name it since Naruto did all the work, but he has no idea when Sasuke will be around and he's gotta call it something. A few hours later, watching him kick and squirm, he decides on a nickname based on appearance. Now, the tadpole is sleeping the deep, boneless sleep of the very young. Naruto hasn't ever seen something so small and still, so unavoidably _there_—

But Sasuke still hasn't come, and Naruto fights back bitter, hurting resentment, the angry urge to _do something_. Naruto is keenly aware that it won't be easy without Sasuke. He accepts it mostly because of Sasuke's strength, but his part in this as well. It's all Sasuke's fault.

_Sasuke should damn well be here_.

_Tomorrow, then,_ Naruto thinks, twisting his hands together, mouth thin and firm and stubbornly ignoring the nervousness. Ignoring that he's worried and needing and calling it _hate_; it couldn't be anything else.

_Tomorrow_.

-&-

Naruto makes the decision to leave the child with Tsunade, against the tugging anxiety of leaving it behind. Having him present at the confrontation with Sasuke would be worse, but there's a part of him that crawls in needling anxiety with every step he takes. Still, Naruto leaves the Tower at seven am, with five hours of sleep under his belt.

Like before, Naruto leaves with no one aware of his departure.

It takes him nearly an hour to walk most of the way to where Sasuke's house is, stubborn resolve forcing him on even as he worries at the knot that Sasuke is to him.

This might go badly. It _could_ go badly.

_It will,_ Naruto knows. _Because nothing is ever easy with Sasuke._

To prepare himself, Naruto spends uncounted time sitting on the nearest bridge with his legs over the side, his face pressed against the rail. His eyes are half shut and tranced by the flow of water; shivering despite the mild temperature, he's unaware of the echoing footsteps until voices call out.

"Naruto!"

"Hey, Naruto, long time no see?"

"Where've you been, fart-face? We heard you were sick and Shikamaru's being an ass and won't tell us anything—"

Startled, Naruto looks up and over to see quite a few people standing behind him. Something lurches at the sight of Ino clutching Sakura with that hateful, nervous distance, Shikamaru and Chouji and Kiba, grinning. Neji, standing solemn beside it all, watching him closely.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, we haven't seen you since, uh, the last time we visited…" Chouji's word drizzled to a stop, uncomfortable.

"Uh…I've gotten better…I—" Naruto staggers to his feet. "Uh…sorta. What are you guys up to?"

"We're going to see if the rumors are true! You wanna come to check out Sasuke's place, too?" Kiba scratches behind his ear, grinning.

"_What_?" Naruto's voice is sharp; he focuses on Kiba and is less than a step away from him in moments. "What about Sasuke? What do you mean? _What happened_?"

"Uh," Kiba blinks at him. "You _must've_ been sick if you haven't heard."

"People have been seeing ghosts," Chouji adds. "We're going to see if it's true. You should come too, just in case Sasuke's gone crazy."

"Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, I'm coming," Naruto mutters, and before anyone could stop him, he turns and walks in the direction of the compound gates standing wide, tall and dusty half a mile away.

-&-

For the third time in as many weeks, Kakashi feels the jangle of chakra pulse through the bracelet, sighs and scratches at his head and instantly transports himself to the Hokage's side.

"Let me guess…Sasuke, this time?" he murmurs blandly, upon entry.

She looks at him in mild surprise before smirking, tinged with sadness. "Correct. It seems to be worse than we thought. I've got several reports here stating there's a genjutsu over the _entire_ Uchiha compound…and Naruto left the squirt behind and ran off to find Sasuke."

"Yeah, about that…I went and looked…" Kakashi replies grimly. "It's not pleasant. He's managed to reflect the effects he's suffered from the tsukiyumi through the sharingan." He pauses thoughtfully. "Although, it'd be a great opportunity to actually _see _what happened—"

"Kakashi!" Tsunade exclaims, appalled.

"You're right, of course. I'll wait until I make sure they're finished inflicting bodily harm—"

"Get over there before I have your ass fired!"

-&-

The sky darkens into an eerie twilight, storm-light without the storm, the closer they get to the massive gateway. They all pause at the entrance of the compound, no one speaking at the sight of shadows beyond, shadows that exist only after sunset and flickering on the edge of vision.

Naruto, alone, stands within touching distance of the open gates.

"What the _fuck_," Kiba breathes. "This is messed up. I don't think I want to go in there, anymore."

"…_S-Sasuke's_ in there…" Sakura, foolish with anxiety, breaks into a half-speed run past Naruto and through the gateway. Naruto's eyes follow her in astonishment, too startled to call out.

Behind them, Ino takes a step out of competitive reflex and Shikamaru grabs her by the arm to stop her; his narrow eyes are focused on Sakura, slowing to a stop twenty steps in.

"Shit," Kiba mutters. "Lookit her _face_—"

Naruto watches how she stumbles to a stop, faltering; he is the only one to truly see the way her hands rise to cover her horror. He might be the only one to fully understand the depths of it. Still, he steps forward without hesitation because the decision is already made. It doesn't matter what he will see.

"Stay here."

"What? Where are you—"

"—of _course_ he's crazy—"

At first, nothing seems out of place just walking forward—he gives himself a measure of hope, but he knows he hasn't reached Sakura, yet, and what she might be seeing.

A splash of color catches his eye halfway there; his glance is automatic. Blood, too much—so much—streaked across the low retaining wall. Naruto catches himself before he stumbles, eyes wide, the blood already fading from sight.

_What the hell is going on, Sasuke? What __**is **__this?_

In the next breath, the blood returns and it's over _everything_, splashes and smears and dripping gory piles—he can see the bodies when he gets closer to his teammate, allows the unique, macabre genjutsu to stop him next to Sakura.

The girl jumps with a swallowed cry, eyes wide and shining with her tears; she's standing there and slowly turns to look at him, as if dreaming.

"Go back," he tells her in a whisper.

"All the _children_," comes her tremulous, numb reply. "All of—of _everyone_—"

"_Go_," Naruto says with a touch more force, gingerly touches her shoulder and doesn't tell her that he doesn't want _anyone _around for this. Not even her.

At his touch, Sakura jerks her head in something like a nod, and Naruto doesn't watch her leave. He's too busy fighting back adrenaline tight in his throat.

There are bodies _everywhere_, all kinds and all dead, nestled along buildings and gutters and sprawled in the road, dead mid-flight. Even though Naruto knows it's an illusion, one of the best he's ever been victim too—

It's too real, and Naruto has to force himself to walk past the crumpled body of a plain middle-aged woman who had a slash from breastbone to hips; she died trying to hold the slimy mass of organs to her belly.

_It's not real_, he tells himself over and over. _Not real not real—it's gotta be Sasuke's fault—_

_It's not really there_, _fuck, keep going—_ and walks, ignoring the ghostly echoes of screams and deathcries, harder to the sharp cut-off to the sound of a small child shrieking, but he does. Around him, slumped corpses and running blood that flickers in and out of view. An entire district, _dead_, slaughtered even trying to flee—

These were Sasuke's people, his family and clan slain and preserved in the streets, _this_ was his knowledge and nightmarish memory of a massacre two hours after sunset. Naruto doesn't know how Sasuke knows, how he's even doing this—

—thinks in possessive rage _what did that bastard Itachi do to him?!_

Naruto stumbles away from the fading afterimage of a man's partial torso, the spine jutting like a stick from the jagged-meat end. _I can't go any farther_ he thinks _I can't—I have to—_

But is this —

Naruto breaks into a run and takes the corners on instinct, eyes wide and trying hard to ignore the blood and gobbets of flesh and bodies around him—he's breathing hard and half-sobbing when he staggers to a stop just outside of Sasuke's home, the genjutsu leaving a thorny headache behind his eyes.

"_Fuck_," he mutters to himself, shuddering and smearing his wrist over his face. He takes a breath and stares the dark, dilapidated structure. There is a trail of smeared blood down the porch stairs, something dragged to a vague end two feet in front of him.

Naruto's back is cold and tight with some odd feeling too close to fear; his hands fist tightly and he feels nothing hit his legs when he wades through blood. Flinches motionless when something shrieks nearby—

—not Sasuke—a woman, cut off mid-point then a second, short gargle that wrenches ice into his middle—_but not Sasuke_—just an illusion. He has to keep walking.

Taking the steps, he hears the thud of weapons impacting on wood, the _schting_ off stone, manages to ignore it when he doesn't see any weapons. Before the door, he pauses, struck by the disconcerting sense of the morning sun behind him and the windows reflecting a hint of moonlight.

_Come on, Sasuke_, he's thinking dimly, hand stretching out and sure his fingers will come away bloody. _Come on, you fucking coward, face me!_

Naruto twists the knob, pushing it open and hears it creak to a stop halfway open. Naruto waits, eyes too wide to be brave in a pale face, because the house is dark and silent and there isn't any Sasuke hiding there, ready to attack with weapons or fists or traps, his heart thudding as if he was.

_I'm not gonna let you run away from this!_

With the utmost caution, the blond squeezes inside and quietly shuts the door behind him. There is no illusion-blood inside the house, yet; nothing but dust and the stray cobweb. It looks like just an empty house, but he can _feel_ Sasuke somewhere, vaguely, behind it all.

On silent, lagging feet, Naruto turns with aimless direction, trailing the engulfing thoughts of what he was doing here, of what he thought of Sasuke and of all the _death_ outside because of _Sasuke_, of all the stupid pain he's caused and everything they _had—_

Knows without question that Sasuke has to be there. Something demands it for the sake of what Naruto's freak inheritance had given them—

"—_move…move…__**move­—"**_

The whisper and a flicker of motion stops him at the side of a large sliding door, his skin prickling to see a young petrified Sasuke telling himself to move with trembling hands about to open the door in front of him—

—watches it fade, thinking, _Sasuke's in that room and he's fucking crazy—_

—_and I have to do something—_

Naruto pushes open the door to a dark room slashed with red-tinged moonlight, sees the two slumped bodies and pale skin with dark hair and gags on the word _Sasuke! _and watches it disappear with shadows over the moon.

His mother, goddammit, his mother, right in front of him— 

"Hey! I'm sick of seeing dead bodies, Sasuke!" he's screaming without quite knowing why, voice cracking in the middle. "Where are you, you bastard?"

"…and what, _do-be_," the blond hears the raspy sound echoing out of the shadows, unable to pinpoint Sasuke's location. "…do you want _now_?"

"I want to know what the hell is going on!"

"Tch. Get out of my house."

"_What?!_ I'm not leaving until I get some answers, asshole—and fuck you too!" Naruto shreds the darkness with his eyes for any hint of Sasuke, bristling with fury. "You think you can pull this shit without leaving me some answers? Where are you? I didn't fuck you for nothing, you spineless bitch—"

Shuriken whiz across his vision but Naruto ducks, expecting them, dodging the lethal knuckles of Sasuke's fist aimed for his throat. Sasuke catches him by the shirt and wrenches him away and into the wall; Naruto catches him with a fist across the jaw on the rebound.

"—so stop running away—" and Naruto takes the two cracking blows on his cheek as Sasuke snarls high in his throat—

"_What would you know—?!"_ as Sasuke grips him by the hair and slams him skull-first into the wall. "You don't know _anything_—"

"I know what I've got back in my room, Sasuke—" Naruto hisses, baring his teeth instead of screaming. "—and you can't run away from this!"

"Shut up-_shut up—_"

Naruto feels the double-punch of pain in his ribs when Sasuke breaks one and it flash-heats into immediate healing—catches one straining wrist, blocks with his other arm.

"_You shut up_, you don't get to lie to me anymore, Sasuke!" and the blond yanks those wicked-clever fast hands away from his throat and snarls at him through the blinding pain, bares his teeth and soul and shoves him back—"You stupid _bastard!_ You think I find this funny? I didn't want this either but you—why can't you—that I'll just let you sit there and do _nothing_?!"

Pushing back until Naruto sees the pale bitten-bloody line of Sasuke's mouth stretched back from his teeth—

"I'm not—" Naruto growls, wrestling the dirty, black-clad boy down with a punch to the temple and bending back the wrist. "I'm not going to let you make me do this alone, you fucked-up b-bastard—"

For a second, Naruto doesn't realize the stinging pain and blurriness to his vision is his fault—he's staring down at the half-wild, half-mad Uchiha he's caught and pinned, fractured and ground to a halt at the smallest, deepest part of him.

_Why_? _Why can't you—why won't you—just tell me what you want, Sasuke!_

"…then why did you let me hurt you?" Sasuke asks tonelessly, void and dull-eyed and the blond is so furious the high-pitched snarl grates out between his teeth.

"_Why did you want to?!"_ Naruto roars or shrieks or breaks, throat tighter than the panic threading his middle, hands fisted on a stained shirt and lifting Sasuke to his face. "Why are you running away from it?"

Are you afraid of me now? 

"Tell me!" Naruto snaps him back and forth with two rough shakes.

Do you hate me? 

"...'l'you…" Sasuke mumbles, head tilted far enough to stare listless to the ceiling, listening to something Naruto couldn't hear. "…supposed to kill you, stupid dobe…" one soft, discordant giggle-sound that Naruto thought no one else could ever sound like. "Itachi said so."

"Fuck Itachi—"

Always too damn fast, Sasuke hits him across the face in cold ferocity, struggling to find enough traction to wriggle free and Naruto spits the blood aside and sits on his legs and—after snatching at one wrist while struggling to keep his grip on the other—slams the hands to the floor and scowls at Sasuke.

"_Fuck_ your shit bag brother," Naruto snarls, shaking and alarmed of letting go and watching Sasuke's eyes flash with the red-light of the moon. "You don't get it, bastard—_I'm fucking terrified of him_–but I'm not gonna just sit down and take it—"

Sasuke's hands are white-knuckled and strong as he jerks against Naruto's grip, working his feet for a purchase and drawing a thin, furious breath through clenched teeth. Heavier and far from as exhausted as Sasuke is, Naruto rolls with his efforts and waits less than a minute before Sasuke abruptly stops. Chest shuddering, arms trembling under the blonds' fingers, Sasuke's face is averted and hidden under ink-black hair.

"If he comes," Naruto tries his best not to sound hoarse and nearly succeeds. "T-Then I'll fight. I'll think of something. I—I j-just—"

"—_you'll die_," is what Sasuke whispers, breath catching. "It doesn't matter—it's fucking impossible—_it doesn't matter what you do he'll_ _kill you_—"

"Don't tell me what's impossible, Sasuke!"

"Get out. Get out, dobe, go away—I don't want to talk to you anymore, _get out_!" and even Sasuke feels a mild stab of surprise as the force his violent, shifting _heave _sends Naruto tumbling onto his side—

—_you don't understand!—_

Sasuke twists with painful, panic-fueled adrenaline and lands a solid kick to Naruto's chest and watches how he slides through moonlight and past the shadows until the blond _thuds_ into the wall with a strangled noise.

_Go away_, something wails internally. _Go away because I can't—I can't stand to let you—_

"_Fine_, you fucking coward, fine—I don't need your help you perverted piece of _shit_—" and the blond staggers to his feet, eyes a strange red-silver in the reflection of the light, the expression on his face unmatched to his anger. Naruto's rolling onto his front with jerky gasping sounds and his wounded, enraged _"Fine!"_ echoes through the house, whispering back behind the shadows. "—so stay the fuck away unless you grow some balls and ever want to talk to me!"

Three seconds later, Naruto's beside the window and ripping it open with movements precise and fluid; the glass shatters, air shimmering as Naruto flings the frame aside and vanishes.

From where he's fallen, Sasuke closes his eyes and turns to the pain waiting for him, swallows it down and passes out.

...tbc in part 2…

This chapter…uh…believe it or not, was planned from the start. It was 45 friggin' pages! It just took forever. And the next part is the last part of the story (then the epilogue—80 pages to go, woot!) and…yeah. So. I've always wanted to do an mpreg…without the actual pregnancy bit, and while I have the highest respect for those writers who pull it off so well (and those not-so-well)…well, it seemed more fun, this way.

If I did it right, and you didn't realize what was happening until it did…let me know!

Next chapter…aftermath, of almost everything. Itachi included.

(Yes, tsaiko, I'm calling it tadpole.)


	8. seven pt2

**)Warning/Disclaimer(  
**These guys aren't mine, but the plot and the story is! There will be lots of sex, swearing and abuse  
_**Rated R for a reason, people! Read accordingly!  
**_Anyway, Sasuke's not a happy camper, and Naruto's...well, we all know Naruto's not normal, right? I've thrown them together, added a dump-truck of angst and wrote this up.  
They've got all currant attacks and issues, except for Sasuke being his usual angsty self. He never left, he just broods. A lot.  
So, on the grounds of _yaoi_, I give you this dark, unhappy (kindasorta) lovestory.  
(As if there's anything else.)

-.-

~Chapter 7, part two~

_the air around me still feels like a cage  
__and love is just a camoflauge  
__for what resembles rage again_

_~'Snuff' by Slipknot_

(day 194)

—_doesn't matter have to hate you doesn't matter have to have to—doesn't matter-Itachi said so-__**doesn't matter**__—_

Naruto is still so angry walking out of the complex he's clenching almost every muscle in his body trying not to scream, trying not to turn around and walk right back and pound the shit out of Sasuke. Has to be anger. Anything else will break him. His hands and jaw won't stop spasming with the thought _that fucking bastard_—

The blond stalks through the gates without realizing he'd arrived and halfway past the quiet, stunned group of his peers, ignoring and silent to their stares. He isn't aware of the way his jacket is ripped and shredded in spots, smeared with blood and dust and sweat, or the injured, anguished expression on his face.

—_supposed to kill you—_ Naruto thinks of the sound of Sasuke's grating voice, rubbed raw and painful to hear, the vague _resonance_ of that phrase—_ have to kill you_—of knowing he's heard it before, hasn't he?

"Hey, wait! What the hell happened in there?" Kiba is striding beside him for a moment, despite Naruto's reflexive snarling sound. "Dude, that was the freakiest thing I've ever seen—how did you get him to turn it off?"

—_stupid dobe doesn't matter stupid dobe you don't know anything—_

"Did you find out what's wrong with Uchiha?" Neji calls as they pass.

"—_stay the fuck out of it!_" Naruto snarls without breaking the intensity of his stride, hurting and furious eyes lashing at the Hyuuga, who merely raises a brow in surprise. Kiba blinks and slows to a stop, out-paced by Naruto and his consuming anger.

"What the hell is _your_ problem?" Kiba calls after him, bewildered. "What the hell is going on?"

"Forget it, Kiba," Shikamaru exhales and slumps, rubbing at his face. He shrugs when Kiba tosses him a scowling glance, when Neji sniffs and uncrosses his arms. For a moment, the entire group shifts their eyes to follow Naruto—still ignoring the lot of them as he's stomping down the street—and no one calls out after him.

"But—what about Sasuke?" Ino tosses long blond hair back over her shoulder and stares down the street as if she could drag Sasuke out in front of her by willpower alone.

"_Forget it_," Shikamaru mutters a touch more sharply. "Just…forget it, Ino."

_Fuck that stubborn asshole!_ Naruto wants to shout back over his shoulder, scream it until his chest ruptures—but he won't give himself the satisfaction of shrieking, of clawing out at everything and anything until all of this just _stops _and stops _hurting_—

But he isn't surprised when Kakashi has him by the arm twenty paces down the road, almost before the blond realizes it, gently refraining him even as Naruto tries to yank away with a strangled, furious noise. "Ah, sorry, Naruto, just a moment," the man murmurs, but the blond doesn't turn to face his teacher.

"I take it the two of you fought?" Kakashi asks him anyway, hesitating only a moment.

—_Itachi said so—_

"_Yes_," he hisses, spitting blood and yanking at the weight on his arm. Naruto is only glad he's far enough away that his words can't be heard by the others, that Kakashi can't force him to turn and show the grief flashing over his face. "Of course we fought. We _always_ fight. He's so fucking stupid, Kakashi-sensei—he's just so—"

"You left him alive, right?"

"I left him passed out on the floor because he's a goddamned coward!"

"…alright." Sighing inaudibly, Kakashi loosens his fingers enough for Naruto to rip free and fling himself back towards the Tower with lashing, fury-edged power.

"…what's _his_ problem?" Ino mutters sullenly, as Naruto's stomping out of sight. "Tch. It's probably all _his_ fault anyway."

"Shut up, pig!" Sakura murmurs half-heated, sniffling and glaring back over her shoulder at the blond girl as the group drifts apart. "I didn't see _you _try to go in there! _You_ didn't s-see all the b-bodies—Naruto was just trying to help!"

"You call that helping? We all know Naruto's some sort of crazy freak. He probably just knocked him out!" Ino tosses back scornfully, despite the way Shikamaru tugs at her arm in the effort to lead her away. "Attacking Sasuke when he's—it's hardly—that's the last thing Sasuke needs!"

"Fuck, Ino, give it a rest!" Kiba half-sneers, well out of range.

"You don't even know what you're talking about!" Sakura cries back. "Shut your ugly fat mouth!"

"The hell I don't! That punk put me in the hospital—"

"_Ino_! Let's go, already!"

"Easy, now, Sakura," Kakashi soothes at her side, casting one last glance at orange-clad shoulders tight with jagged pain moving away from them, casually watching the group straggle apart and into their own separate ways. "Don't worry about Sasuke. I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Kakashi-sensei—" she almost wails and scuffs the tears from her face. The others are far enough away they won't hear the rest of their conversation, and Naruto's long out of sight. She sniffs, half-aware of her subdued confusion leaking through her voice. "What's going on? Nobody will tell me and everything's been so _weird_ lately…"

"Oh, you know how those two are," Kakashi tells her vaguely.

"That's not even an answer!"

"Well…" Kakashi shrugs and manages a smile for her sake, even as his next words make her scowl fiercely through the tears on her face. "It's as much an answer as I can give you."

"But—"

"Nope," he says. "No freebies. Go home and rest, Sakura. We won't have any practice for a while."

And with a fake, cheerful gesture, he _pofs_ out of sight. Sakura stands on the edge of the street, hands clutching her sides and swiping at the wetness streaking her face, staring at the gates. Her thoughts are full of blood in dusk-lit shadows, and strangely enough, the horrible images end up making her decision for her.

-:-

Naruto slows to a stop half-a-street away from the tower, momentum spent. His heart won't stop clenching with painful too-quick intensity; his jaw aches and Naruto tries to focus on that pain to distract himself, to unlock his jaw enough to breath one, two shallow breaths through his mouth.

_Why? _echoes in his head, the spaces filled with dark and lonely need, unanswerable.

Nearly seventeen and he's nearly broken to his knees in the street, in front of all the people he'd sworn over and over _never_ show how much it hurt—

Why can't you just—why won't you—

His stomach churns, brushing nausea and something worse, something unfettered and angry. His hands won't stop trembling, even after forcing them open and flat across his middle and—

"—_sorry_—" is what slips from between his teeth. "I'm sorry I'm _sorry_—" and he stops himself with a gasp, horrified to hear it, wanting to scream it back at Sasuke as much as he wants to knock him down and strangle him for being such a bastard.

_I'm sorry_—over and over as quick as his heart—_don't hate me I'm sorry_—and gritting teeth—_don't please just don't leave me behind_—until red-white spots of pain flash across his eyesight—_I'm sorry awgod just __**look at me**__ see me please I'm__** sorry—**_!

"Damn it," Naruto curses, choking and hands twisting into fists again. It's been years, so long since he stopped thinking a litany of _'sorry_' would fix things, make people _see_ him, make up for whatever it was he'd done wrong—

_Stop it—sorry won't fix this,_ he tells himself. _Sorry won't fix Sasuke._

It's hard to make himself take the first step towards the tower, towards going back up to where Tsunade-hag's probing questions wait like salt and papercuts, where the child—

—_mychildhischild__**ourchild**_**—**

where the tadpole waits for him with no one else in the world.

It's the only thought, this unknown, fought-and-bled-and-cried-for thing, this being _needed_, that keeps his feet moving.

-:-

It's nearly afternoon when Tsunade looks up from the endless stack of papers, a mind-numbing and tedious duty that doubles as a welcome distraction—and realizes she hasn't heard a sound out of the small, nameless Uchiha child sleeping within the adjoining room.

Duty a welcome distraction from all the stress lately or not, the woman rubs at her face and rises to check on the infant, mind swimming from worried concern over Naruto's situation.

Foolish, all of it foolish, stubborn male stupidity—

But she's surprised when she opens the door and sees Naruto kneeling on the floor next to the bed, arms outstretched and head against the mattress. The child kicks and squirms in the way infants always seem amused by its own movement, just within outstretched hands.

Surprise suddenly cringes into piercing worry, grief at the sight of Naruto who'd slipped back under her senses, like some wounded animal.

"Naruto?" she calls softly.

"…go away," comes the muffled, quiet reply.

"Are you alright? How'd things go with Sasuke?" the Hokage asks anyway, regrets it before she does because there seems to be only _one _way things ever go with them.

Naruto's breath hitches and she watches his fingers twitch and pluck at the bedspread. "Just fine. Just business as usual."

_Oh, child,_ she wants to say and knows it would be the wrong thing, if not the worst. "You're not a very good liar."

"_Fuck_ you," Naruto swears without moving, without anger. Quietly, so she knows he's saying it mostly because she hasn't left him to his wounds. "Go away."

"Did he give the baby a name?"

"…no," Naruto softly exhales his denial. "Please. Go away."

"And do _what_?" she replies in exasperation. "Wait for you to tell me what happened? I'd be better off finding out from Kakashi, if he'd tell me straight. "

"I don't really _care_—I just—I just need to _think_, Tsunade-hag. Go away, just go away—"

After a moment, she does, without another word or question, without letting him know that she's seen the tears on his face.

-:-  
(late evening of day 194)

Sasuke is aware of a cold numb ache before anything else. Cracks open a swollen, gunk-crusted eye and examines dirt-seamed wood and drying blood-splatter without recognizing it. After a moment, he realizes he must be flat on the floor, throat dry and scraping through every breath. Wetting lips that sting, Sasuke pushes up with a rasp of pain until he's more or less slumped on his knees.

And everything _hurts_. Everything that doesn't must be numb; there isn't anything within his awareness that isn't twisting, dull pain.

…_came to me_ beats restlessly sharp in his chest, nestled into panic. _Came and I told him but he came he __**came **__**so angry—**_

Thinks of blinding pain and rage and _despair_ under the blue of those eyes, so blue in the washed-out daylight breaking in—Sasuke uses one hand to grip the other he didn't know was clutching at his chest, teeth bared in voiceless agony, shuddering even as he hears an echo _isn't this—isn't this what you want?_

—_isn't it?—_

Sasuke doesn't know and can't even try, even as the thought _what is it tell me what it was—he came because—because he—just tell me what I want from him—_ is corroding through his head_—because I don't want this anymore—_

If it wasn't pain—_never wanted this not this_—this agonizing vicious ache like nothing else and worse than everything—pain didn't seem to work because even Naruto, above all else, Naruto _knew_ pain like that and Sasuke can trace his path just as clearly, now—for all that he is and everything he wasn't supposed to be—

—_can't run away can't can't because he can't because I've—_

Naruto had done something unforgivable—_this is all your fault—_something worth the risk of irreparable anguish that Sasuke could not withstand, if it happened. When it happened—_it's your fault_ _if he comes—oh god when when __**when**__—_

—_because he will he __**will**__ you know he will—should've killed him kept him safe but I can't do both—can't stand you can't kill you can't stand to see you dead but it's not supposed to be like this—_

Then whatever had woken him a few minutes before knocks again and Sasuke lifts his head without the breath he wants to take, eyes sharp and thin-red slits, thoughts sliced cleanly away in the freezing panic clawing through his chest.

—_came he came—_

It takes him minutes to roll onto his front and push himself up, and another three or four to make it to a standing posture. None of it changes how much everything _aches_, none of the sharp adrenaline rushing through him changes the acid eating through everything else.

But he makes it down the hall with slow, step-after-step determination.

—_he still came to me—_

When the Uchiha grasps the handle with half-numb fingers, creaking it open, Sakura stands beyond the doorway and Sasuke is both bewildered and tired at the sight of her pale face and bloodshot eyes. He doesn't do more than peer at her through the five-inch gap, uncomfortable with the bright worry and hesitation in her face, uncomfortable because she doesn't know the size of the threat, yet, and he refuses to think of telling her.

It doesn't matter how upset she looks.

Sasuke keeps his mind as blank as his face, wonders why she's here and hates her presence so quickly behind everything else—too many strings too many _so many_—and Sasuke shoves it all back where it won't force him to fracture in front of her.

He can guess why she's here, anyway.

"Sasuke…" she falters briefly when he doesn't reply. "I—I would've come earlier but…are you okay? Are you sick?"

"…no." Sasuke replies tonelessly, vaguely wondering why she hadn't shown up sooner. She's so _pale_ in the shadows of his porch, as pale as spilled milk. "I'm fine."

"Can I come inside?" Teal-shaded eyes search his face and he knows to some extent that if he refuses now, she'll be back tomorrow. "Just to talk for a bit…"

Wordlessly sighing, he steps back from the door and wanders a few steps—glancing down the hallway, flinching through a stagger at the memory of Naruto's angry, ripping shriek echoing through his skull—

Behind him, Sakura shuts the door with a quiet _clikt_, waiting on nervous legs and watching with too-wide eyes in a pale face.

With a startling lack of caring, looking back over his shoulder, Sasuke realizes how he must look without the partial blockade of the door to hide his state of torn, bloodstained clothing, bruises, and unkempt hair. He wonders why he doesn't care, that he just feels _tired_, that he feels like he's vibrating at a pitch too high to feel…

Just _doesn't_ and applies it everything.

Sakura follows him into the kitchen, unconsciously mimicking his slow, heavy steps. For the next few moments, as her worry and concern settle in, she watches Sasuke make preparations for tea.

The soft light of the kitchen doesn't hide the brutal, yellow-black bruises on his arms and face, the blood still dripping from an elbow when he reaches up for the teapot. She doesn't _know _what happened between Naruto and Sasuke—what's _happening_, even as she accepts it without surprise. It was always violence in their regard, violence without room for anything else—

She firms in determination as Sasuke sets the pot to boil, not once having looked in her direction. "Sit down," she states quietly. "You're still bleeding. I'll wrap up your arms."

Sasuke sets the heat to the lowest point before he speaks, his tone reflecting an eerie stillness. "You don't need to."

"Well, I'm going to! At this rate, you'll be bleeding right into my teacup." Sakura replies, hand on her hip. She reminds him of Tsunade in the brief glance he gives her, as she scowls at him and repeats "_Sit._"

For long, silent minutes after that, Sasuke waits shirtless and ashen while Sakura applies careful bandages and chakra to the more serious injuries.

She doesn't ask him about how things end up with something this painful—she doesn't know, yet, Sasuke doesn't _dare _think he should let her to know—but he doesn't pull away from her hands, too numb to resist the fleeting thoughts of his mother, so long ago.

His mother's face, just as pale.

-:-

_I don't know what to do—I don't know what to say, I don't know the words or how to say it—_

Thoughts were elusive behind his eyes, as stinging as acid, and Naruto presses his forehead against the mattress and almost prays for someone to tell him what to do—_it's so hard to think—_and Naruto doesn't know how it could be so hard. He knows it's necessary, _beyond _necessary—but it hurts to think of how he needs to do this alone.

—not alone but forced back into it—

But at the same time he can't unlock his fingers from their stubborn grip on fabric, can't release himself and slip away—part of him doesn't _want _help and bristles indignantly at the thought, and he had tried to push away Tsunade as gently because he _did _need to think and her presence wasn't helping.

—but his pride is as stubborn as his denial that he even needs that fucking bastard.

He's angry; it feels like thin skein of oil wrapping up his thoughts and burnt red on the edges, because _he doesn't know what to do_, and if his thoughts would stop slipping in circles and skid sideways—

_I don't know how I'm going to do this,_ he thinks over and under and between all the indignant hurt gnawing at tadpole is his top priority. He has to be—figuring out how to keep him safe will come in time.

—just stop, just for a moment—_stop_, just long enough to figure out _how _he'll manage, how to _do _this—and Naruto, on the deepest level, _will not_ admit that unbalance comes with Sasuke's absence.

_I need to train,_ Naruto decides, hoping it will be enough. _Train, get stronger, so I can try—try to survive—_

But the fact that he'll need help in some form is clear and sharp as glass. He can't do it alone.

Six hours of motionless, storming thought, Naruto starts to list out everyone he thinks will be necessary, essential or helpful in any way.

Sasuke's name is left off the top of the list—but then, this list won't name someone that Naruto won't admit to needing.

This list isn't about that.

-:-

"Have you gone to see Sasuke, then?"

Kakashi shifts with fractional hesitance, crouching on the sill of the wide window in Tsunade's tower. The moon is limning the edge of the forest in gray-light silver and Kakashi is nothing but dark shadow against the night.

"Sakura was there when I returned," the former anbu answers softly.

"I see. " Tsunade smooths her fingers over the side of a bottle, thoughts skimming lightly over worries. Too lightly to delve further into just what Uchiha's unbidden genjutsu portends, too briefly on the subject of such a twisted, thorn-wrought relationship.

_If it's even a relationship_, the woman thinks, sighing softly. She wonders if Uchiha would consent to several mind-healing sessions, if it would even help him and worries it would break him, somehow. "I doubt if he'll come in for treatments…" she comments more to herself than Kakashi still waiting silently in the window.

But the mention of Sakura beside Sasuke so quickly after witnessing a massacre-genjutsu...

Tsunade rubs firmly at pressure points along her jaw and skims up over a temple in the effort to rid herself of frustration and a lingering headache. "Poor girl. She doesn't know anything, does she?"

"It's unlikely."

"How long will it last?" she murmurs, pausing only to sip at the sake. "This quiet. This _waiting. _How long will Naruto wait?"

"Wait...?"

"For Sasuke. Before he tells someone. Before he...well, before he's more like _Naruto_, like himself."

_But he won't ever be __the child he should've been. Not after this._

Kakashi doesn't answer, but that's okay. She isn't sure if she wants to know the possibilities of the future.

-:-

True to her word, Tsunade gives him space for three or four days after that; Naruto isn't sure just how long it's been. All of his thoughts and worries and pinprick _What if—what if—what if?_ consume most of his time.

When she calls his name from her office one late afternoon, he wanders out in two-day-old clothes and sits where she points.

"I need to check up on your chakra," she tells him, brushing aside papers and smearing ink on her robes. She looks distracted and older than before and Naruto wonders if she's slipping up on her special youth-jutsu.

"Will it take long?" Naruto automatically slides his shirt up over his head, and drops it beside him.

"No, it's just the usual. How have you felt in the last week?" Tsunade presses two fingers to the right of his heart, and a palm against his forehead. "Normal?"

Naruto snorts, without scowling like he wants to. "I guess. Like I did right before I got sick."

"Hmm."

Minutes pass, and Naruto listens to the footsteps outside the door, counting how many pass, how rapid or heavy they sound. As long as no one entered, he doesn't need to get up and check on the tadpole like his mind ticks away at him. Even though its the Tower, the seat of the Hokage's power and guarded like it's the last ounce of gold in the world, it gnaws restlessly at him.

He doesn't want to be here, even if it's safe—it's somehow _not_ safe.

"Tsunade-hag?"

"Almost done," the Hokage murmurs absently.

"I'm moving back to my apartment," Naruto tells her, without thinking twice about it.

Blinking at him, drawn out of the examination haze, Tsunade pulls her hands away. Naruto meets with unwavering stare with his own, before she finally says "Are you sure that's what you want to do?"

"Yeah. I can't stay up here forever, and I think it's better if I do it sooner."

"Sooner? I don't think you're ready for that, brat."

"I just don't—"

"You're barely self-sufficient _with _my help—and we don't know how soon this 'illness' will return—I'm not comfortable with you halfway across the village like this."

"I know that," Naruto replies, frowning. "I _do_. It's not like I don't _need_ your help, but people—I mean, you're the Godaime. People _look _at you, they _see _you all the time—it's part of your job—"

"What does that have to do with pushing paperwork," Tsunade pokes him on the forehead.

"Because—people _notice_ things—and if you're hauling around a baby all the time, they'll start asking questions! Gossip!" Naruto flails his arms, trying to clarify his instincts. "It's...better. It's better if I'm not around and people don't know. Not yet."

And he has a point. He knows he's right on it, and he can see it on her face, see how much she doesn't want to admit he's right.

_But I can't stay here,_ Naruto thinks, waiting for her response, unable to explain the depths of the urge to find some place that's _secret_.

"...so what happens when you need help?" Tsunade concedes his victory with a sigh.

"...I was hoping you'd teach me how to make those summon bracelets," Naruto offers a sheepish grin. "That's okay, right? That way we're an instance away from help!"

"One condition," Tsunade replies with the mask of a gambler, too quickly aware that tricky little Naruto has some sort of plan.

"What kind of condition?"

"You tell me what you're up to, when you figure it out."

"...do I have to?"

"Or you can stay here till you're thirty, chained up in that room. Your choice."

"Fine. _Fine._ I'll let you know," Naruto's grin slips more to the sly side she remembers. "Or I'll just improvise."

-:-  
(..._two hundrend and one..._)

The sky is twilight-purple when Sasuke rises to the surface of his mind, finding himself flat on his back in the yard behind his house. The air is cold, and grass digs and tickles at exposed skin, but all he does is stare blindly into clouds a few shades darker than the darkening sky.

He wonders briefly how he came to be out in the grass, but after a few days of wandering room to room on bare feet, after hours of shoving everything consisting of _thought_ away from his consciousness, he shies from the reason like a startled bird.

—won't think won't think of it—of anything—not worth it don't think and it won't hurt—

His hands and legs ache fiercely, and there's a sour dirt-taste in the back of his mouth. Sasuke lifts one heavy hand to push back stray hair and notes the bruises spreading up his wrists and arms.

_Training_,Sasuke decides, and drops the arm to his side. It couldn't have been anything else; he dimly remembers how his chest struggled to bring in air that didn't seem to help, knuckles bleeding from uncounted hours of automatic _hit-block-hit_. How he had leaned on the wooden dummy fighting back some hysterical thought and screamed behind his teeth and _struck, _trying to smash it away with the splinters of the wood cracking under his hands.

Breathing hurts and there's a hint of blood on his tongue, but breathing—the simple act of _life_—hurts worse than all the scrapes and bruises and aches.

-:-

In the quietest moments, Naruto sits as still as possible and just _watches_, simply stunned at small, delicate fingers and such fine, dark hair so different than his. Wonders how much of Sasuke this child will have, how the tadpole will grow and learn and speak, somehow.

Naruto smirks more to himself, amused just enough through the bitterness to appreciate the irony—because if this is some sort of cosmic prank, it's the best one he's ever come up with.

-:-  
(213 days)

Weeks before Naruto has any sort of concrete plan formed and ready, he opens his door to see Shikamaru leaning against the doorjamb with the same bored look on his face. He's surprised to see him and knows his expression must give it away.

"…hey, Shikamaru," Naruto finally says slowly.

Shikamaru straightens and rubs the back of his neck, yawning briefly before he replies. "Hey, Naruto. How've you been? Are you still sick?"

"Um, not really. What're you doing here? I'm...kinda in the middle of something."

"I wanted to make sure you're okay. You were pretty angry the other day."

"Tsunade didn't send you, did she?" Naruto's words are more suspicious than he intends, he opens his mouth to say something else and bites it back.

Shikamaru raises a careful brow. "What? The Hokage? No, she didn't send me. We haven't seen you or Sasuke since you freaked out on us. We all decided to check up on you. I got volunteered." At the end of his decidedly long speech, the lean Nara boy sighs. "Were you going to let me in?"

"Volunteered, huh? And no; I'm trying to clean."

"…are you _sure_ you're okay? Since when do you clean?" Shikamaru seems to accept the plain 'no' and settles back with his shoulder against the jamb.

"Since now. And I'm _fine_. Who volunteered you, then?"

"Sakura did. She thinks you two had a major fight and aren't talking to each other."

"What are we, girls?" Naruto mutters, scowling to hide the first reaction of relief. _Just a fight, my ass._

"Oh, and she wanted to know if it'd be okay to stop by with food, later. I guess Kakashi asked her or something."

"Food? I guess so." Naruto fidgets and drops his gaze, his forehead pinching into a frown. It takes him a moment to ask, "Was she checking in on that bastard, too?"

"Probably. I gotta get going; anything you want me to pass on?"

"No." A pause, as Naruto studies his friend's face, managing a semblance of a smile. "Thanks. For stopping by, I mean."

"Yeah, sure. When you're done cleaning…or whatever you're working on, come hang out. It hasn't been the same."

"…I'll do that," the blond lies, grinning slightly. Then he shuts the door as Shikamaru turns to leave, pausing long enough to rest his forehead against the wood.

I'm sorry. It can't be the same anymore. Not ever.

-:-

Harder and harder to ignore it, as a day, then weeks, pass and Sakura stops by again and again, carrying bags of things or food that he won't admit to needing. Hard to ignore her stubborn cheer, the forceful shove into a social ritual he never learned properly. So hard, because she doesn't know.

Harder to ignore it when it's still sitting _there_, right there and needling into him with thoughts of _how?_

_How did he—__**why**__ did he—?_ As days click by and blur into his obstinate refusal. _How could he?_ so Sasuke fills the spaces with training and useless practice even if he doesn't quite enjoy it; even if it feels wrong and empty but—

_How_ could he, if Naruto knew what a risk it was—how, if he knew he couldn't possibly fight or protect himself? Why would he _try_?

'How' rattling through the gnat-bites and pain and panic until Sakura's recurring visits are an almost welcome distraction, almost better than wearing down his body with training like a rat in a trap. He'd rather deal with her than Tsunade—and he lets her enter even as he wonders why the Hokage hasn't shown up with her intimidating, disapproving presence.

As it is, Sakura sounds enough like the older woman when she starts to nag him about changing his clothes and cleaning up or actually taking a bath before he starts growing mold.

-:-  
(215 days)

In the space of several weeks, Sakura found herself face-to-mask with Kakashi in a small, local grocery one afternoon, surprised to see him with a bag of produce swinging from his hand.

"Oh, hello, Sakura-chan," the former anbu greets her cheerfully. "Shopping for Sasuke?"

"Actually, yes—" she starts to shrug. "His cupboards were getting pretty spare, so I figured...Anyway, what about you?"

"Oh, this is for Naruto. I'm glad you're helping out Sasuke—he needs quite a bit of it for the moment, I'd say."

She peers at him, expression neutral. "He's not really _asking_ me for help—but he's not really saying more than one word to me, anyway."

"That's good, it's very good." Kakashi beams—as far as she can tell. "Say, Sakura-chan, would you do me a favor? Just for today?"

"I'd be glad to help; what did you need done?" she asks, selecting fruit and a small container of pre-sliced mushrooms.

"Well, I've got a meeting soon—very important one that I shouldn't be late for—could you drop this off at Naruto's apartment? It doesn't matter when, just as long as he gets it by tonight."

"Why—that's it?"

"That's right!"

"I'm not gonna get a bitchy earful of whining, am I?"

"Oh, he's already past that phase."

"Oh, alright—but _just this once_, you hear?"

-:-

Sakura isn't really expecting the shock she gets when she gets to Naruto's apartment, casually slinging open the door and calling out a greeting that ends in strangled surprise. The minor annoyance of having to go out of her way is forgotten, because the place is clean, unexpectedly _clean _and for a moment, she thinks she's walked into the wrong apartment.

But most of her initial shock comes from catching sight of Naruto standing motionless in the doorway down the narrow hallway, the door gripped in his hand as if he'd ripped it open.

For the brief split-second it takes him to recognize her, his expression is wild and raging and _deadly_ pale—

_He's going to kill me_, the analytical part of Sakura things behind the surprise.

Then it changes, twists away from the surface of Naruto's face and his voice is hesitant, almost wary. "S-Sakura-chan?"

"Well, who else would it be?" she replies, the shock sliding away to sit like a cold little stone in her growing concern—no, _suspicion_ over this weird little event going on behind her back. She shuts the door behind her, rolling her eyes as Naruto frowns and rubs breifly at his face. "I ran into Kakashi earlier; he asked me to drop off your food. Did I wake you up? You look like I'm some crazy missing-nin raiding your house."

"No—well, I was resting. I...guess I wasn't expecting you. Figures Kakashi found someone else to do his work for him."

"So you're feeling better, then?" Sakura calls over her shoulder. She sets the two small bags of groceries on the counter. "Did you want me to put these away?"

"No," Naruto murmurs from right behind her and she realizes she hadn't heard him move. "I'll do it later."

"So," she turns enough to peer at him. "You're _not _feeling better?"

Naruto blinks his blue-eyes at her, before grinning sheepishly. "No—I mean, yes, I'm doing better."

"Hmm," she taps a finger against her chin and mock-frowns at him. "You must still be sick, though. I've never seen you clean _anything, _much less your apartment."

"Hey! I can clean if I want to!" he protests indignantly. "I just never wanted to, before."

-:-

It's not a surprise, though, that Kakashi stops by her house a day or so later, asking for a favor that involves Sakura delivering groceries to both her teammates. She almost expected it, already accepted the possiblity, but she still screeches at her teacher and scolds him for shirking his duties.

But two days after that initial shock/fear of Naruto staring at her with such deep, unstable killing intent, she still agrees to drop by both places.

-:-

_Two hundred and nineteen days—roughly thirty one weeks—seven months and three-fourths of another—over half a year spinning away—_

Two hundred and nineteen days after waking up in the backyard, the thoughts plague him like tiny, stinging gnats, circling around and behind him no matter what effort he tries to drive them away. No matter what he doesn't to acknowledge it—

—it's there, always, like the constant panic slicing through him, it's _there_—

—and he can't just deny it and he _wants_ to because it's not something he wants—shouldn't _be_ there at all—but it's _there_, incessant and blood-driven and there isn't any other way—nothing left for Sasuke to try because Naruto's outwitted all of it by sheer stupid luck.

_Sheer stupidity,_ Sasuke things with all of his anger. _It's all just so __**stupid**_.

It's there, but Sasuke doesn't want it. He can't afford to want it, and tries and tries to push it back.

-:-  
(224)

Late afternoon almost a month after Sakura had started dropping off his food, Naruto perched out on the narrow balcony attached to his apartment. He's is too busy flicking a gaze over rooftops and the deepening color of the sky as the sun sets, but he's acutely aware of the exact moment a familiar chakra flickers close.

"Naruto-kun!" Iruka calls, dropping down beside him. "I've been looking for you! I knocked, but you didn't answer the door."

Naruto raises his face in Iruka's direction, blank and not really _surpirsed_ to see him, just unnerved. "Hey, Iruka-sensei," he greets, shrugging with a half-smile.

The older man smiles, sheepish and familiar and _missed_, Naruto realizes, as he settles down beside Naruto.

"Are you alright?" comes Iruka's unexpected question. "I was getting worried about you. I haven't seen you for months, and Kakashi-san mentioned you've been ill—Well, with what was going on a few weeks ago, I figured I'd stop in."

"I guess so," Naruto answers, looking away and to the velvet-red edge of the skyline. "I'm not a kid anymore."

"I know that," Iruka reaches out to ruffle his hair and Naruto lets him, folding back the flinch so Iruka doesn't notice.

"No, I mean..." Naruto hesitates, glancing over at the face he associates with _brother/father/friend_ and sighs. "Iruka-sensei...what do you know about babies?"

"Babies? Why are you asking about babies? You, uh, _know_ where they come from, right?" Iruka pauses while Naruto snorts lightly, nearly smirking. "You've got some time before you need to worry about things like that."

"Yeah, right. I just...what if I...what if—"

"Naruto? _Is _there something wrong? You know, something you need to talk about?" There is a careful pause to Iruka's words, and Naruto doesn't even have to look to know the expression on his face is shifting to anxious worry. "You haven't, uh, gotten anyone pregnant, have you?"

Naruto doesn't reply at first, instead of the expected "What?" that Iruka expects.

"_Have _you?" Iruka murmurs in a strangled little voice.

"No, not—not like that. I just—I don't know what to _do_, Iruka-sensei—"

"Well, tell me what the problem is, and I'll see if I can help."

"It's not that easy."

"You can _try_; I'll still listen."

Naruto's breath is deep and slow, hands tight-knuckled over the railing bars. "What if I told you—I mean, you know about the fox, I know you do—but what if I—what if I told you something important, something big—"

"...like what?" Iruka coaxes.

"What would you do, if you were me and you found out there were side effects because of the fox?"

"Side effects? What kind of side effect are we talking about?"

"...like..." Naruto takes a breath, his hands gripping the railing and supporting his head like the thoughts were too heavy to bear. When the blond continues speaking, his voice is unusally quiet. _Calm, _Iruka thinks before the words come. _I've never seen him so calm. _

"_..._like _I _made a baby kind. By myself. Sorta."

Iruka blinks at this statement, unable to quite _process_ the actual meaning. He reaches out to brush fingers over Naruto's forehead. "...you aren't running a fever, are you? Some fevers can make you delirious—"

Naruto shudders and something seems to unravel through his calm; his knuckles whiten over the railing as he lifts his head and nearly shouts "I'm not delirious! I'm not making this up, Iruka-sensei! Because of—because of stupid-bastard Sasuke and these stupid fox-instinct I wnt and made a baby and I'm not a _kid _anymore—I need to be strong enough to keep him safe but I—but I don't know where to _start_ because Sasuke's freaking out and I don't know what to _do_, Iruka-sensei—I don't—I don't want to do it by myself I don't know _how—_" Naruto gasps for a breath, still shaking, frustrating gleaming in his eyes. There's more, he wants to tell him _more_ and can't bring himself to finish, yet.

"...maybe," Iruka hesitates, bewilderment seeping through his tone and posture. "Maybe you should start from the beginning."

So Naruto does, tells him almost _everything _but the finer details of Sasuke's involvement and subsequent breakdown. He manages to get more than halfway down the tale before his voice cracks around words "—and then when I woke up, there was a _baby _and Sasuke—I didn't know what was going on with him and he doesn't—I don't know how to fix it Iruka-sensei I don't know if I _can_—"

But after a moment, clenching fist and teeth and heart, he gives a succinct almost-report sentence about Sasuke's mental breakdown, and how confusing it all was.

Then he waits for the scorn and maybe disgust that he's so sure Iruka would have.

"...well," Iruka murmurs after Naruto falls into silence. "I never expected _that._ You're certaintly living up to the boast of the 'most unpredictable ninja,' aren't you?"

"...you're not—you're not freaked out that I—" Naruto hesitates, looking everywhere but at his teacher. "That I...you know...with Sasuke?"

Iruka sighs and gently reaches out to ruffle Naruto's hair. "You found someone important, right? How could I be upset?"

The world blurs around Naruto for a brief, chest-squeezing second; he hears a laugh, weak and nearly sobbing, but a laugh floating beyond the tears on his face. "But what should I do?"

"I think," Iruka starts carefully, slowly. "I think you're already doing what you need to do. The rest will fall into place."

"But—"

Iruka tweaks his nose and shakes a finger at Naruto's nose. "Don't start second-guessing yourself, Uzumaki Naruto. It'll work out, you'll see. Now, are you going to show me your new little secret, or should I raid your apartment?"

-:-  
(_two hundred twenty six days_...)

"Well?" Tsunade's words are sharp and absent. There's a stack of paperwork five inches high on her desk that needs signatures authorizing the sale of small-goods and merchandaise for the neighboring villages and she had two hours to complete. She barely pays attention to Kakashi slipping over her windowsill.

"Ah, so far, so good!" he exclaims in an overly-cheerful voice. "It looks like Naruto's preparing for the worst, as you well know—and I've got Sakura tending to both of them—"

"And Sasuke? Has he shown any improvement, yet?"

"Well, I haven't actually talked to him yet, but he seems to be—"

"_What?_" she slams a fist onto her desk, shaking the mini-tower of paper. "Hatake Kakashi! Are you _seriously_ saying you haven't spoken to that brat, yet? I can't believe you! I told you two weeks ago to make sure that little bastard is stable and you—you've just been—"

"Well, he need time to adjust and I didn't want to interfere, so I've—"

"Get over there and assess the damage, you incompetent brainless—_Now,_ before I break all the bones in your spine, Hatake!"

Kakashi _pohfs_ away before she has a chance to start throwing her pen and other dull objects in his direction, unable to tell her how _difficult_ it would be to confront Sasuke on the current situtation.

_Looks like I don't have a choice,_ Kakashi sighs to himself on the edge of Uchiha property. _I've put it off long enough._

-:-

Late one evening, as Sasuke sprawls flat on the ground panting—gasping—for air, and wincing at the throbbing aches in the joints of his arms. Time slips away and Sasuke isn't sure how long he's been on the ground before he notices the dry-prickle sense of Kakashi.

His teacher waits on the edge of Sasuke's vision, silent and speculative. Sasuke has the dull, almost-shame pierce the numbness in his middle, so he pulls himself up, propping an arm over one bent knee.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asks quietly, menancingly polite when Kakashi hasn't spoken.

"I see you're still moping around," Kakashi finally says.

_Moping?_ Sasuke's mind echoes in sudden unexpected fury, sliding eyes unstable with the red of it.

"You heard me."

Sasuke spits out a sound like breaking iron, scowling. "You think I'm _moping_? Are you fucking _serious_?" The words come like slow razor-edged stones. Insanity edges them with a snarl.

Kakashi's expression—even behind the mask—turns contemptuous. He gestures, voice disdainful. "Well, it's not like you're actually accomplishing anything by hiding."

Then, as Sasuke's face is white and wide-eyed with sheer hate—hate for _everything—_Kakashi is attacking him with the clinical detachment of correcting a problem and Sasuke forces his stiff bruised limbs in defense of Kakashi's lunging kunai-edged fist.

He doesn't have the strength or endurance to match against Kakashi. Sasuke knows it isn't possible to even _try_ to beat him in a fight, but Sasuke still moves, furious and desparate he's still _moving_ despite the odds. Despite the muscle-tearing ache in his body. Dodging Kakashi's weapon with a twist of his torso, ducking to avoid the high leg-snap meant for his face. Reaction and his awareness of it has been reduced to flashes of impressions; Kakashi's face that looks so bored. Dirt gritting under his still-bare feet and the taste of blood in his mouth like breathing copper into his simple, easy avoidance of any offensive move that Sasuke can think of.

Kakashi isn't pulling any punches but Sasuke doesn't really notice; overwhelming tar-sticky rage seeps through every crevice of his mind, fueled by a single striking thought _Don't look at me like that—not like that, not like all I've done just doesn't matter—!_

"What would your _mother_ say, Sasuke kun?" Kakashi murmurs and Sasuke hears himself—_feels _it, really—shrieking _"Shut up!" _so hard his throat feels like it's bleeding, failing to land a fist or a kick because Kakashi's too quick, too fresh, Sasuke's voice a grating screech—too slow, Sasuke's too slow—thinks or snarls "_Don't you dare talk about my mother_—!"

Kakashi kicks out the supporting leg, face unchanged and still distant, a split-second shift in his stance and a heavy slap—

—piercing pain and shame and the unending _anger_ with the force of it—

—and Sasuke's knocked breathless, skidding on his his back with a high-octane shriek still ripping from his body.

"What would she tell you?" his teacher asks. "Have you asked yourself that?"

Sasuke's arms whip across and apart, kunai and shuriken _sh-zing-ing_ past a dodging Kakashi and it's so hard to breathe—

White noise in his head and he doesn't understand the _look_ on his teacher's face, why Kakashi watches him like that, avoiding his weapons and stepping in closer to where Sasuke's half-crouched, half-sprawled in torn-up grass and dirt.

"—_leave me alone!"_ Sasuke's voice feels broken, flailing at his teacher when Kakashi's too _close _too close, fighting to pull away from the grip he has on Sasuke's wrist. Sasuke sobs for breath and can barely catch it, fighting with numb limbs, a wailing sound echoes around him; Kakashi has his other arm and Sauske can't get free—

—hears himself gasp through the thudding panic _"-please!"_ without knowing what he's asking for—grits his teeth against the sound that follows, some thing beyond a scream or cry, something worse—

Kakashi sighs, effortlessly restraining Sasuke until the boy is reduced to pushing at him, pressing forehead to chest.

"You're not strong enough like this," Kakashi tells him, gently.

"—_I tried I tried_—" Sasuke is sobbing out the words before he knows, unable to stop the sound from choking him. "But I can't—I just can't—"

"I know. It's okay," one of Kakashi's hands is passing over his hair—when he'd moved them to Sasuke's head, holding him, Sasuke isn't sure—but Kakashi's still murmuring "But—don't try so hard to get rid of your new family, Sasuke. Naruto needs your strength."

The _thought_ of it is hysterical and terrifying; Ragged, unused laughter breaks off the walls of the training yard and Sasuke doesn't know why it's so _funny—_he's sure it's not supposed to be funny—he's gasping for breath so hard he's clutching Kakashi.

—_new family_—and _oh _it hurts to breath—_my strength_—

"—_I can't protect him, I'm not strong enough for that—_" is the final sound from Sasuke's mouth, harsh and breathless between the shaking in his arms.

"You will be soon enough," Kakashi tells him.

Sasuke doesn't believe him. Can't believe him. Won't, because that means so much more—so much _more_ than he's willing to allow.

-:-  
(37 days since...)

It starts to rain two hours before Naruto expects any visitors; he curses and goes to shut the windows, checking one last time to make sure he had snacks for Chouji and everyone else, only ten minutes closer to something that's too much like swallowing razors.

It would be both worse and not if Sasuke were here. If he showed. If he even _knew_.

'My place, asshole. 4' carved on the front door isn't exactly an invitation. He doesn't even know if Sasuke's bothered to leave his house.

_Doesn't matter_! Naruto tells himself fiercely, standing over the couch to peer at the tadpole tucked into a nest of blankets. _Doesn't fucking matter. I __**will **__do it alone if I have to—_

—_no other choice, you bastard, you didn't give me the chance—_

-:-

"Can you believe it? I had to drop off _five bags_ of food for Naruto. I don't see why he can't do it himself if he's 'so much better now.' Do you want the apples in a bowl, Sasuke?" Sakura is head and shoulders deep into his fridge, as Sasuke waits with crossed arms in the doorway. He isn't paying any attention to what she's doing in there, presenting most of his back to her.

It's the third time she's shown up in the last two weeks—

—five weeks and two days since Naruto—since the sound of—only a mere three or four days since Kakashi had spoken something far, far worse than all of it—

"—and he's baby-sitting now, did I tell you that, Sasuke? I guess it's a mission or something. Sasuke? Where'd you want the fruit?"

_Babysitting_? Sasuke can feel his heart thud and falter—_so he's trying to—_the thought snaps across his mind like ice—and then Sasuke is peering over his shoulder at her, staring at her and unfocused with the thought Naruto hasn't told her, hasn't told her _anything_—even as she frowns at him, waiting for a response. _He's not supposed to—he can't just—_

"You've seen it?"

"Seen what? Oh, you mean the kid Naruto's watching? No, I think it was sleeping. He practically shoves me out the door every time I'm dropping off his food, anyway."

_Sleeping_? Sasuke thinks and bites his tongue to keep from asking anything else. He refuses to be interested.

Sakura relents and sets the bag of fruit aside and grabs another. "Wait a minute—oops, this isn't yours. Damn, now I'll have to go back. Stupid Naruto and his stupid little mission-party. I don't _want_ to go all the way back; it's raining already!"

"…mission party?" Sasuke echoes.

"Yeah, didn't he tell you? I thought he left you, um, a note on your door. Didn't you see it? I know you two are mad at each other right now, but—" she shrugs, seemingly unaware of Sasuke's shifting focus. "Naruto said he was inviting a 'hand-picked team' for some sort of party. Who knows, it's _Naruto_. I thought he mentioned talking to you already, though."

Sasuke stops listening to the sound of her voice, consumed in a wash of oily, cold-sweat denial—Naruto wasn't going to wait, he'd just rush ahead like always—just like he's _keeping _it—he was already fighting back, the stupid useless _fool_ and Sasuke knows better than anyone how _stupid_ that is, how deadly and life-wasting all of it will be—

—_not ready I'm not ready yet—_

And the blond was serious about doing it, as serious as he always is and Sasuke couldn't just—_stop_—feeling bitter and angry and furious that _nothing_ seemed to work out according to plans—stop stop _stop—_all of his plans are _useless_ around the blond, nothing ever _works _with Naruto and Sasuke has to—just has to _stop_ because he can't make sense of everything cracking, has to see if it was true that the dobe would choose _others_—

"Sasuke?"

Others, instead of _him_—

Slipping into his footgear is an automatic gesture; so is ignoring Sakura's puzzled questions from behind him even as he unconsciously swipes the bag from her fingers, but outside, the rain is cold behind the wind and Sasuke…

Sasuke, standing on the front steps of his home, is still furious and aching and trying not to scream, halfway to being soaked and wondering when he had started _waiting_—miserable and hating and Naruto—

I won't—I can't let you just—

—the thought _Naruto didn't need him_ has already broken open, broken him the rest of the way through and Sasuke realizes with a sick sort of acceptance that his decision over all of this was already made, long before he wanted to ask himself anything about it.

I just won't let you.

-:-

Shikamaru is the first face he sees, Chouji at his side, and for a moment Naruto can only stare at them from across the line of the open door. Naruto has only a few murky fragments of the last time they visited and no idea if they were still angry about the incident with Ino.

"Hey," Shikamaru somehow drawls irritation and sighs at the same time, when Naruto takes too long to greet them. "Are we late?"

"No, uh, not yet. You guys are the first to get here…" Naruto exhales and shifts aside. "Come on. What snacks do you want, Chouji?"

"Oooh, what kind?"

"Um, lots of chips and soda. Hey, don't sit on the couch!" Naruto calls from behind the cupboard doors, piling up whatever he thinks would qualify as snack-material. There's a knock at the door as he shudders through the sensation of his chakra twitching in awareness. "Someone get the door."

"But there aren't any chairs!"

"Why do we have to sit on the floor? What a pain in the ass." Shikamaru's asking plaintively, opening the door to reveal Kiba with Akamaru peeking from his jacket, a plastic bag of assorted candy swinging from his hand. "Kiba's here."

"Yo, Shikamaru, Chouji. Brought some candy, in case you want some. Who else is coming, and why the hell are we here?"

"Damn right I'll take some!" Chouji calls.

"Hey, Kiba. Akamaru." Naruto nods to them and drops his armload of snacks onto the floor in front of Chouiji, who's nearly out of sight behind the couch. Kiba takes the spot next to him and dumps the contents of his bag onto the pile.

"Hey, what kind of party doesn't have chairs? I saw Neji and Lee on my way here; they should be pretty close. Oiy, Akamaru, what are you…hey, Aka—" Kiba hunches over his jacket and whispers to his whining pup. "Uh, really? That's crazy. We're not trespassing—"

"It's not a party, dogbreath." Naruto points Shikamaru in the direction of an open spot, eyes landing back to the door a moment before it opens; Neji and green-clad Lee peer inside in bemusement. Shino is half-seen behind them, inscrutable.

"Are we late?"

"No, no, you made it!" Naruto waves them in with the same sheepish, nervous grin he'd given everyone, visibly nervous as he waits until everyone finds a location before he scoots onto the couch and pulls a blanket into his lap.

"Not a party?"

"You've got party-food, though—"

"You certainly have strange hospitality."

"So, why are we here?" Neji asks.

"Maybe it's a gathering to express the youthful strength of all of us together!"

"Uh, what?"

"…isn't that for chicks or something?"

"Hey, keep it down, will you? It's _not_ a party—it's something bigger than that, and I was gonna…I wanted to tell you guys about something first, but—"

"Why can't _we _sit on the couch?"

"Does this have something to do with Uchiha?" Neji asks, placidly, cupping a mug between his fingers and just like that, Naruto is the sudden focal-point of the room. "The way you two were fighting?"

"Y-Yeah, kinda," Naruto isn't smiling anymore, pale and strangely determined. He scratches his head, eyes darting under complete, expectant attention. Six pairs of eyes watch the way his shoulders twitch, the way he suddenly twists his hands together and just tries to _breathe_—

"You've been fighting with everyone, haven't you!" Kiba leans forward to peer at him. "Shikamaru said you tried to put Ino's head through a wall—is that true? I just thought you were sick or something."

"Did he really?"

"Hey, she stole my crystal and stabbed me with a hairpin!" Naruto protests, snapped from his panic and scowling.

"Yeah, well—how are _we _to know if you've gone crazy since no one's seen you in the last few months. There's been some weird shit going on—you know, that creepy chakra and Sasuke's psycho ghost-fest—Shino, you saw that chakra, too, right? Wasn't it messed up?"

"Uh—creepy chakra? What chakra? When…" Naruto trails off, shifting under the blanket, pale eyes tracking back and forth while his face shifts into neutral. "Oh. _That_ chakra."

"Yeah, my grandma was freaking _out_," Kiba exclaims, grinning. "You should've _seen_ it!"

"So is this some sort of mission?" Chouji asks Naruto.

"It was most odd," Shino answers. "But I am more curious to hear Naruto's answers."

With all of them seated and re-focused on him, again, Naruto clasps his hands together and twists them, clearing his throat. "Uh…I…I can't tell you how, uh—I don't, um…I'm not sure how to, uh _tell _you—fuck…This is really, _really_ hard to say..."

"Uzumaki," Neji sips patiently from the glued-crack mug in his hands. "Get to the point. What does this meeting have to do with your illness, Uchiha's mental state and the…object you're hiding from us?"

_Trust a Hyuuga to cut to the chase,_ Naruto thinks, barely able to swallow. Everyone waits, stares at him until he inhales sharply. "Well, I'm sorta…" he falters, unbelievably falters in front of all of them with eyes sliding anywhere else but his guests, aching misery sliding across his expression. His head lowers, blond hair briefly hiding his face.

None of them can remember the last time he's _looked_ like this; it shocks them into stillness, even though Naruto's silent for a long, uninterrupted minute until his shoulders firm, despite Kiba opening his mouth to complain and Neji's dead-white stare preventing a single syllable.

"First of all…d-did you know…" Naruto starts quietly, softly, in a voice somewhat sad and awed and hurting, eyes sliding away and out of focus. "…that Sasuke's…a father?"

-:-

A bottle of sake hits her desk, landing on paperwook. Tsunade lifts her head enough to see it, scowl, and rub at aching eyes. A moment later, she offers a muttered greeting to the white-haired Jiraiya grinning back down at her.

"Tsunade-hime," he says, sitting in front of her desk. He rummages through his kimone for two chipped sake-cups and sets them with a _clinkt_ next to the bottle.

"What time is it?"

"Late afternoon. Haven't you slept?"

"Not really."

Jiraiya solemnly serves her alcohol, and after she knocks it back, another. "Still haven't heard from the brat, have you?"

The Hokage snorts. "He wants to get a team together to train. As if—as if it could change the outcome."

"And you said no? What, you think we could protect him any better than himself?"

"I just—"

"You can't be his mother," Jiraiya tells her gently. "One day, you won't be able to keep him safe. Or in one place. He's strong, Tsunade-hime. He'll pull it off, somehow. You shouldn't worry."

"He's so young," she whispers, finally. "Sasuke tried to _kill_ him—Itachi _will_ manage to kill him, old man. It's not a question of _if_."

"Uchiha's swallowing some bitter medicine. If Naruto can't bring him around, he'll break. I'm not worried about _that._"

"Oh sure. If the risk to our village and anyone between Itachi and those children doesn't worry you, what does?"

Jiraiya belches and serves up another round. "That damn brat asked me to _train_ him. I'm gonna break a goddamned hip."

-:-

"What…did you just say?"

And before their disbelieving silence ends, Naruto laughs, a shuddery, numb and paper-light sound. "He's got a kid. A little baby. But I'm—I'm sorta—I'm taking care of him but I can't—I can't protect him by myself so that's why you're all here, and that stupid bastard—" Naruto pauses, searching for words lodged too deep in his middle to wrench free, face hidden and hands clenched knuckle-white over his knees.

It only takes three seconds of silence for it to register.

"You're _what?_" Kiba cries. "Uchiha has a kid?"

"You're—" Neji starts, eyes wide—

"—fucking serious? That ice-cold bastard got _laid_ somehow?"

"Y-Yeah," Naruto mutters and picks at the blanket, flushing into a scowl. "Something like that."

Shikamaru draws in a slow, thoughtful breath, eyes alert and narrow in his usual bored expression. "Let me get this straight. Despite the fact that you've been sick and Sasuke's been your nursemaid—somehow, he finds time to secretly have a child. A child that _you're _taking care of…an infant. Hidden, or whatever. _Sasuke's_ child. Where's the mother? Why isn't Sasuke here?"

"That's…harder to explain."

"…is she dead?" Kiba clutches Akamaru to his chest; the animal whines softly.

"It's one possibility," Neji murmurs, finally moving his penetrating stare onto a silent Naruto.

"Oh man," Chouji mourns. "How's Sasuke taking it? Is that why he's been hiding out in his house? Hey, you think _that's _why—"

"But why are you taking care of it?" Shikamaru has his arms crossed, looking tired and annoyed despite the soft, surprised tone of his voice. "You must've _known_ it was happening if Sasuke asked you to raise it."

"I thought you were ill," Neji asks.

"Was it all some sort of cover-up?"

"I was—he didn't—you're not—"

"But it doesn't make sense why _you're_ raising it," Shikamaru replies. "Or asking us to help protect it. Why does it need all of us to protect it, anyway?"

"Naruto faked being sick? Wait, Uchiha asked _you_ to take care of his baby?"

I have to tell them, I have to, I have no choice—they can't help me unless they know everything—

"And what are we supposed to do?"

"Yeah, why do you need us as backup?"

"Because—"

"Yeah, but it's Uchiha's kid, right?" Kiba replies. "_You_ shouldn't be taking care of it."

"Yes, I do! I have to! But Sasuke won't—" Naruto cries out, furious, hands ripping at his hair as he shouts. "I'm not strong enough to protect it, not yet, not against his psycho-freak of a brother—I don't stand a chance against him by myself!"

"Wait, who?"

"_All of us_ won't be strong enough, but I don't have much to work with and Sasuke's a fuckin' _coward_—" Naruto continues without pause, snarling high-pitched and pained and snaps back whatever else choking in his throat, swallowing bitterly. Only Neji catches the tension spiking through Naruto's shoulders. "…he wouldn't—goddamn spineless bastard doesn't care—"

"Uchiha Itachi? The elder brother?"

"What's his brother got to do with it?"

"I thought the entirety of Uchiha's esteemed clan was dead?"

"They _are _dead. Itachi killed them. All of them." Naruto whispers, his face sunk and half-hidden behind his fingers. The sound they all hear is strained exhaustion as Naruto laughs, brief and harsh. "That bastard's really fucked-up about it. That ghost-shit everyone was talking about? That's what Sasuke scattered all over his district. _Memories_ of what his brother did. Genjutsu _memories._ Because I—"

"…holy shit."

"That…actually _happened_?"

"What else haven't you told us, Naruto?" Neji asks in the silence that follows.

Naruto draws a breath and hesitates, hands dropping, uncertain and still so strangely nervous. He rubs his hands across his thighs and grazes the lump balanced in his lap; Neji is watching him sharply so the blond forces his hands all the way to the edge of the blanket, brushes it with trembling fingers and fighting the thick swell of anxious tears—_what if they think I'm a freak?_—

"There's more?" Kiba mutters, rubbing his head. "Fuck, I'm confused enough already."

He doesn't know how to tell them. _I've got Sasuke's kid—__**my child**__—sleeping in my lap, right here. My child, mine, and I __**made **__him because I've got a demon sealed into my body_, echoes through his thoughts, slapping across the static. _I need your help to protect it_.

One breath doesn't help the sense of panic. _Say it._

—I can't do it by myself and Sasuke doesn't want to help me.

-:-

"Hey, forehead—Oiy! You're getting your hair all wet running around without an umbrella. Why are _you_ in such a hurry, huh?"

Breathless, Sakura pauses to flick wet hair from her eyes, looking at Ino on the streetcorner under a pale-blue unbrella. "I just—forgot something."

"Oh? You're still doing delivery-work for the team retard, huh?"

"Shut up, Ino-pig, he's not a retard!"

"Uh huh, well, I'm off to find Sasuke-kun. I just saw him, and if you hadn't distracted me, I'd be helping him shop."

"_I _distracted _you_? You called out first, you nosy—" Sakura stomps a puddle. "And stop chasing after Sasuke-kun—he's not interested!"

-:-

"…it's so hard to tell you," the blond tells them softly. "You'll probably think it's a joke or something, but—"

—and just like that, invitation forgotten, Sasuke's chakra flickering somewhere in the building is like jagged-lightning up his spine, cutting off his breath in the moment he pauses to seek out the right words to explain.

—_he won't—  
_—stupid bastard _Sasuke_—  
—_he won't even try—_

To his credit, Naruto only stiffens in distress, hand creaking tight on the blanket before exposing anything, eyes up and vacant as his expressions flares into reactive fury—the others must sense him, too, he knows it—and avoids their startled looks for the most part.

—_buthereherehere he's __**here—**_

But as Naruto's focus whips towards the door, the others quietly aware that Naruto's unexpected tension is for a reason—the blond is torn because something inside him is still screaming for Sasuke to stop and look—but the same desire is razor-keen with the knowledge of something very _wrong_ with Sasuke.

"Naruto?"

Naruto sure as hell doesn't want anyone else to be involved in this, but there's a knock on the door, a single scraping _thud_. Chouji's saying something, and all Naruto can think of is _Sasuke's there—he showed up he actually came—right there he's never knocked before and now what do I do?_

"Naruto? I think someone's at the door."

_I didn't think he'd come—_

"Who else was coming?"

"Aren't you going to answer it?" Neji asks, but Naruto's too busy staring over the edge of the couch, waiting for the door to open. None of them will realize until much later that his hunched, feral expression is something as instinctive as breathing in regards to Sasuke.

"Naruto…?"

Scowling, deciding without the thoughts to back it up, without turning to face the conglomeration waiting for the rest of his explanations, Naruto shouts towards the door _"It's open, you prick!"_

The door opens with a protesting creak; Naruto denies himself the jump of anticipation with Sasuke waiting beyond it, soaked with rain, head lowered enough for his dripping, ink-dark hair to cover more than half of his face. There's a plastic bag hanging from his half-curled fingers.

"It's only Uchiha," Shino murmurs to Chouji, who's been protesting the lack of a good view.

"Really?"

"I thought you said he wasn't coming," Shikamaru drawled lazily, eyes glancing across the doorway.

"So maybe Uchiha can tell us what's going on?"

"Are we going to combine his youth with ours?"

"Is it even safe to have him here?" Kiba whispers.

"What do you want, asshole?" Naruto finally frees a soft, quiet voice, laced with a jagged-dark threat. With the way he's turned to face the bastard, most of his left side is hidden behind the couch, draped in the ratty gray blanket. They can't see his face, not really, but Naruto doesn't want them to see the raw pain he knows is there to see, doesn't even want Sasuke to raise his eyes and notice, either—but he doesn't think it matters because Sasuke's eyes are dark and strained and flicker-red on the edges.

_Yeah, something very, very wrong._

"Sakura…forgot this," is what Sasuke finally murmurs, flat and dull, twitching the bag in his fingers. "...she said you had…something planned."

Naruto watches the mouth twist, the angle of his head as the weight of the bag pulls at his arm—thinks briefly that Sasuke looks like he _wants_ something, something that Naruto senses could be deadly but Naruto doesn't know if he cares.

Sasuke is _here_, after all his empty, hateful threats—he'd still shown up. So Naruto answers the waiting threat with his own. "Yeah, so? What do you care if I am?"

"I _don't_ care!" is Sasuke's immediate, uncontrolled hiss, teeth bared. Naruto watches the way his shoulders twitch with tension, the clenching of both hands and questions the sanity of pushing Sasuke's buttons when he's already past the point of normal.

The rest of him is too numb with his own pain to care. "Don't care?" Naruto growls. "Don't care about _this,_ or don't care that I don't need your help?"

Sasuke falls still, so still that Naruto wonders if he's even conscious—barely aware himself of an audience to everything—just the fact that Sasuke looks so very pale and stricken with his head slowly tilting to the side like that. The way he draws in a short, laughing sound and mouths something to himself that Naruto doesn't hear.

"_I can't—_" is what Neji will remember seeing the dark-haired Uchiha say. Simple words that contain so much unspeakable emotions, words with so much behind them that Neji had never thought possible to contain. Nothing happens. No one speaks. Sasuke doesn't step inside, and Naruto can't breathe can't _move_—

After a moment, soot-ember eyes flickering into red, Sasuke tosses the bag inside the apartment in challenge. "You're not worth it," are his words, breathless and empty.

_Came all the way over and he's just going to—_the blond thinks, shocked and furiously white-faced. _The stuck-up asshole bastard's going to just—_

One hissing breath drawn through bared teeth, and Naruto's couch shreds under his nails. "_…what?_" he says, voice flat and low and unspeakably dangerous.

"You heard me," Sasuke shifts his head until the dark hair slides across his face, eyes flickering into full red-shot sharingan, an unstable grin stretching at the corners of his mouth. The hate struggles to devour every rusted scrap of control he has left, a stare fixed unwaveringly on Naruto's face; there's nothing left in his head but desperate, shrieking _hate_—it always _had_ to be hate because Sasuke doesn't have anything left for anything else.

And he knows, in the brief flare of triumph over Naruto's expression of blank, white-faced fury, that _maybe_ he'll manage to win this, somehow, even if he's not sure what he's trying to win.

—_hateme-damn you-hatemehateme—why won't you just hate me?_

Sasuke narrows his eyes, fingers twitching, fixated on everything that was Naruto—everything that boils red-black behind his eyes and quivers through the body he's touched and claimed and tried to break_—_forgets everything else, everyone else there to witness the unsnapping _thing_ between them.

Naruto's eyes flicker and bleed into inhuman red, and Sasuke dimly senses the same, red-tinged chakra whip up around them with unexpected, ice-needle sharpness—neither of them hear the rest of the group shudder and stifle cries of shock and unheard questions—

Neither of them have room in this moment for anyone else, and somehow, the rest are distinctly, unavoidably aware of it.

"Prove it," Naruto snarls with sharp, white teeth. "_—you fucking coward._"

The rest of the moment happens very, very fast.

Sasuke flings a half-dozen shuriken with a deadly speed that Naruto didn't know the bastard was capable of, forcing him to duck as he slips with equal speed over the back of the couch—someone cursing behind him and briefly hopes no one else was in the way—but Naruto doesn't have the time to be distracted by whoever missed impalement by inches.

In the rush of exertion towards Sasuke, wild and terrible to see with coal-red eyes burning through his face—Sasuke looks so detached and afraid and desperate even as Naruto is too close for the second swipe of weapons. Not even a second after he closes in, the blond registers two punches and a sweeping kick after he deflects them.

—thinks _I won't be worthless to you, not to you—_ and grips the out-flung wrist, turning his head to avoid and elbow and ducking the backswing of a fist edged with kunai-steel.

It won't matter anyway, but Sasuke doesn't see the razor-cut wound on Naruto's forearm heal instantly, almost before the smear of blood—all he sees—all he knows thinks and rages against is Naruto—

Naruto, in his blue-sky glory, somehow slipping through and avoiding his offense, piercing his defense with a striking palm with too much strength behind it.

Naruto, teeth bared and face too-open in his hurt—

Naruto, when Sasuke can think of nothing else.

The wall hits Sasuke flat, knocking breath from his lungs—he grabs the arm across his body and Naruto doesn't try to avoid the knee aimed for his gut, the twist-and-squeeze he applies to an arm in the effort to push him back—

But Naruto isn't moving as easily as Sasuke thinks he will, hears himself snarl _hate me_ or what could've been _hate you_—but Sasuke isn't sure he remembers.

The idiot neatly trips him with a foot hooked at his ankle and Sasuke hits the floor with the leverage of Naruto's unbending movement, giving him a brief moment for a single thought, despairing of its presence—_how can he be so strong? How, after everything I've done—_

_After everything—why won't you hate me?—_

Sasuke tastes blood in his mouth without remembering how or when Naruto had struck him across the face; all physical pain bleeds away into the aching numbness that hasn't left him for weeks. He's got a grip on one wrist to keep Naruto's fist away from his ribs and shakes away stars when he gets the back of his head slammed against the floor.

The low, bitter cry of resentment is his, Sasuke realizes, torn from his throat because Naruto has him pinned—_pinned_—against the floor with no room left for any retaliation but jagged breathing.

"That's it? That's all you got?" Naruto snaps harshly, eyes electric-blue in his face, even as Sasuke jerks in his grip, bleeding from the mouth, and Naruto's unable to keep from hissing out "You're just gonnacall me worthless and leave? Just _run away_ again? You bastard—you fucking bastard—"

"Shut up!"

"Coward! Asshole! Who said you could hide in a hole and pretend it didn't happen?" Naruto nearly roars, shaking him. "You said it was impossible, but you won't even try!"

"_I tried!_" Sasuke's voice is high and broken and his rebuttal, his stubborn denial flows out through the gapin, ripped-to-shreds hollow in his middle. _"_I _tried_ to hate you and _tried_ to kill you but he'll kill you first, it _is _impossible and you'll _die_ you idiot I won't watch you die because you wouldn't just hate me—" and in a sudden lurch of terror—_too much it's too much_—Sasuke gets enough space between their bodies to kick him back, heart thudding and unraveling in his chest, making it hard to breath, hard to _think_. Naruto skids back-first into the couch, eyes wide in his angry face.

The others, as their too-quick conflict unsnapped, watching from around the couch and from nearly-safe positions, no one there attempts to breathe, aware of something undefined and unmistakably _big_ waiting before them—Naruto in unsmiling fury, and Sasuke in unhinged anguish—aware that it'd be too easy for Naruto or Sasuke to turn that unexpected violence their way.

They've forgotten about the audience; Naruto watches the way Sasuke curls up at the base of his wall, near the still-open door, watches keenly how the bruised arms—so many _bruises_—slink up to cover his head. Restless hands that clutch at his dark, rain-matted hair, the struggle to control too-quick breathing.

Naruto shoves back the stab of hurt he gets from hearing Sasuke _sound _like that, he doesn't understand it, doesn't know _why_ and what's gnawing at Sasuke so badly—if his lack of family and fucked-up brother did this to him, if Sasuke was doing most of it himself—

"—_should've _but I _can't—_"

...and in less than a breath, Naruto starts to get it—the angry raw words Sasuke had shrieked, all of those things—Sasuke had tried so hard to make himself alone, to make Naruto hate him—easier to kill him, to forget him—

But Naruto won't let it slide, won't let it go, not that easy.

"Don't," Naruto rasps, eyes already blue again as Sasuke jerks halfway upright with the wall to help him. "You don't get that excuse 'cause I don't fucking _care, _and I already _told _you why, asshole, and you sure as hell _don't_ get to tell me what's impossible, you bastard."

—and Sasuke can't pull his eyes away no matter how much his head is screaming to run, to leave before he's locked and chained into place—can't even move when he's the only one to witness the lashing despair storming his face, Naruto's voice cracks right down the middle—

"Don't tell me what's impossible when I've got your baby, asshole and you haven't even _seen _him—_you haven't even_ _named him yet!"_

No one there, not even Naruto, has ever seen such a miserable, stunned expression spreading over Sasuke's face. It cracks through the room like lightning. Sasuke, breaking apart in front of all of them, and if Sasuke could stop the display of weakness, his hands shake too much to cover his face properly. His fingers clutch as he hunches against something, pain or something worse.

"—I didn't want—" is all Sasuke can manage.

Naruto rasps, scowling and flushed. "Looks like you, too—not that you'd fuckin' know, asshole."

Sasuke's eyes are hauntingly empty and somehow raging with some unspeakable thing when he finally lifts his head enough to show them, moving too slow to be considered 'okay' by anyone's standards. His gaze flickers about Naruto's face, disbelieving and furious, seemingly heedless to the rest with Naruto's regard out-shining all of his thoughts. Heedless to his body's faltering slide back to the floor.

Naruto gingerly settles back against the couch, just a bit, despite the way no one misses the way he's poised to react even now. None of them even know what to expect anymore, much less Sasuke's ragged, stricken face.

—_you stupid fool, just look what you've done you've broken everything ruined all of it! _cracking through Sasuke's head, warping and stringing itself into pain, a thin, warbling cry echoing behind the blackness in his head—_but I have to kill you I have to it's not fair I have to_—and Sasuke knows some expression of it much be twisting his face, because Naruto's eyes are watching him—so wide and waiting and Sasuke doesn't know why—doesn't know if he's ever going to know—shuddering down whatever keeps wringing up through his middle, choking it back down.

"…wow, this is seriously intense—what the fuck is happening?" someone whispers in the background, for the most part unheard.

"…you don't…" the dark-haired boy slides down the wall bit by bit, broken words dropping from his blood-stained mouth. "You just don't—you can't just—you don't understand anything!"

"Then make me," Naruto mutters or hisses in response, still scowling. Sasuke watches him twist, stretching an arm over the back of the couch, fingers reach over and pluck at the stupid gray blanket draped across the back, the same stupid blanket with Sasuke's blood splashed on a corner, with all sorts of unmentionable stains and memories to associate with—

Then the blond settles back into his partial crouch against the back of the couch, flame-blue eyes piercing and Sasuke can't avoid the way the blond looks so uncomfortably _honest _in the moment before he opens his mouth.

"I didn't know this would happen. I just…" Naruto is speaking so quietly that Uchiha strains to hear it. "I didn't _know _it was even happening…that it'd…I just wanted to…" He bites off the rest in hesitation, thinking _I wanted to get better and you were—_

—_you were __**helping**__, didn't you know? _Naruto wants to cry out, keenly aware of how this _looks _to the others behind him, worried they could take it the wrong way before he can explain it—as if they could take it any other way _afterward_, but Sasuke—

_This isn't the time to try and __**fix **__him,_ Naruto tells himself fiercely, tugging at hair and pulling his hands over his face to press away some of the tension still waiting for him._I don't even know if I can—_

—because Sasuke looks so _broken_ waiting there across from him, so dependent on the hate he needed to keep it together, to keep the stability—

"_Sasuke_," Naruto hears himself murmur, almost pleading, wanting those eyes to look at him—red or black or hateful, it didn't matter. "Don't you want to see him?" as he watches the hand clutching hair and the way he flinches back, curling, hiding.

"Naruto—" Shikamaur says slowly, carefully. "What's going on with you two?"

"Yeah, 'cause this is really high on the fucked-up list," Kiba mutters.

"Shut _up_, Inuzuka," Neji snaps.

Naruto gasps into breif, sobbing laugh. "Fuck. You got no idea how fucked-up," Naruto swipes a hand across his face, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to think against the freefall sensation of _What the fuck do I do?_ _How do I do this?_ and clears his throat. "_Fuck. _It's not going exactly how I planned it."

"Uh—Naruto?" Chouji has already exchanged one bag of chips for another. "How many people did you invite?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinks his eyes open to see Sakura—oh fuck and Ino—_fuck—_in the still-open doorway.

Damn. This isn't going well at all.

Sakura's staring at them, back and forth in surprise and disapproval. She's dripping wet and flushed, and Naruto gives her the barest glance, even as she asks "Are you guys still fighting? You better notbe picking fights with Sasuke-kun—"

"Hello, Sakura-chan!" Lee waves happily from the back of the room.

Sasuke, when the blond looks, doesn't seem to react. If he's even aware in his head enough to care. He certainly doesn't seem to mind Sakura crouching beside him and murmuring questions in his ear.

But Ino—at her words—is leaning in with a derisive sniff, sizing up the entire room. "What, you having some sort of gay little slumber party, freak?'

"Ino, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Sasuke-kun!" Ino exclaims, catching sight of him. "Did they gang up on you?"

"She followed me here," Sakura slides wet hair out of her face, leaning over Sasuke. "You're in no condition to be fighting, Sasuke-kun," she scolds lightly.

"Wait, did Naruto invite you too, Sakura-chan?"

"No, I was worried about Sasuke."

"Move, Sakura—like you even know what you should be doing," the blond shoves at Sakura's shoulder and reaches out to graze fingers over Sasuke's shoulder.

Naruto is glad—so insanely _happy_ to see the reflexive slap Sasuke gives her outstretched hands, even if takes all of his strength to stay at the couch, hands refusing to unclench, with both girls kneeling next to Sasuke.

"They weren't," Naruto mutters flatly. "They can leave any second."

"Naruto," Sakura frowns at him and he shudders through a terrible urge to bare his teeth when she gingerly touches Sasuke's forearms. Ino sniffs and hides her disdain and rejecting by huffing to her feet.

"_Get out,_" Naruto hisses before he can stop himself.

"Now we're never gonna find out what's going on."

There's a restless tiny mewl from behind him. _Damn_, Naruto wants to howl, scrubbing hands through his hair. "He's fine," he snaps for Sakura's sake. "He's _fine_, just—"

_Just go, go before—go, because everything is spiralling out of control—_Sakura's asking him "Just what?"as he stands.

"Nothing. Forget it," Naruto replies with too-obvious dishonesty.

Sakura snifss and chalks it up to a 'boy thing' and ignores it. There's a good chance that she'll drag it out of him later—but she's not stupid enough to fogret about it—or miss the way the air crackles with tension. She's sure it has to do with Sasuke—still unresponsive to her murmured concern.

Naruto's eyes are sharp and narrowand threatending, darting back and forth from her to Ino. A scuffling sound from Kiba and Shino—and a hissed _"Ow, _fucker—" because whatgever they were all doing here, they're keeping it to themselves.

Naruto fights with mental tooth and nail to keep his teeth from showing, to keep from attacking—claws it back into a semblance of control with the stronger urge to _hide the child hidehide__**hide—**_because it's more important than anything else.

Sasuke can wait. Or get it together enough to participate—whichever comes first.

_Focus, _Naruto thinks. _Focus on not killing them._

Ino, at least—hasn't moved more than two steps from Sasuke and Sakura. Her rivalry with Sakura is something Naruto's grateful for, even if the sight of her trying to touch Sausuke—or Sakura's careful touches that are allowed and oh how that digs unnaturally at him—it makes his skin prickle and twitch.

"—_wasn't this—" _he hears on the edge of reason, unsure if it's the group behind him or Sakura's terse reply to something Ino has asked. "_Wasn't like this—"_

Naruto is aware of the others behind him, waiting as patiently as they can, silently—almost silently anyway—so thankful for that—since they already _know _most of it—

_If that bitch hears a_ _murmur of Sasuke's baby I'll have to kill her—_

But it's suddenly _easy_ to repress the killing intent because things never go as planned and Naruto's focus is more concerned to the slight, waking mew of distress as the tadpole stirs—

_Shit,_ the blond thinks, trying desperately to gather enough will to decide the best course of action. _This isn't going to help at all._

"—Well, he wasn't _like_ this an hour ago," Saukra is snapping at Ino. "I don't _know_ what's wrong! I dropped off his food, mentioned Naruto's party, and he left."

"Well, maybe I should have a look at him instead of you—"

The tadpole's fussing slip into a hitching cry, demanding attention. Sakura—still glaring at Ino—turns her startled face to Naruto and misses Sasuke's silent, shuddering flinch.

Naruto doesn't. He forces himself to move towards the kitchen, bone-weary and nevous and angry, unable to prevent the way he still watches over the edge of his shoulder. _I can't do this with them here, I can't stand it—_but the tadpole, if he doesn't feed him soon he'll start to cry and cry and that's something he won't let happen because they're _girls_ and Naruto doubts they'll keep their hands off.

—_as long as I've got him,_ he thinks, plucking an empty bottle from a bag near the couch. _They won't be able to touch him._

"Man, this apartment has _shitty _walls," Ino mutters.

At least everyone else—aside from Ino and Sakura, anyway—has picked up the cues that Naruto wasn't going to finish telling them his motives as long as the girls were there—and even if they mouthed silent questions like "Do you follow what's going on?" or "Is there more soda?" or "Pass the chips, Chouji, come on!"

"I didn't know you still had that babysitting mission," Sakura calls as Naruto runs warm water into a bottle, then walks out of his kitchen and shaking up the formula. They watch him ignore the question as he hops over the back of the couch and settles gently into the cushins. "I thought that was already completed."

"Is that what you—_ow_, what the _fuck_ Shikamaru?"

Naruto gathers up blanket and child, eyes flickering over the guys watching him right back, their faces too-obvious. It's finally _real_ for them, the blond can see it in their faces and the way they lean in to catch a glimpse, the way they _don't_ speak and exchange glances and nudges.

"Babysitting?" Ino scoffs. "Who in their right mind would let _Naruto_ near a kid?"

"Can I see him this time?" Sakura asks hopefully, too-close behind him and Naruto feels the muscles in his back, his face—all over—shudder into a snarl he swallows around. "Or, hold him, maybe?"

"No," Naruto looks up from the bundle of blanket and child in his lap, the greedy sucking squeaks of his son. "Not yet."

"Aw," Ino sneers, appearing right beside Sakura and Naruto fights back a throaty growl. "Like you know the first thing about babies. I'm surprised he's not crying because _you're _holding him. Who's baby is that, anyway?"

"Well, he'd drop dead if _you_ held him," Sakura mutters back, scowling.

"It's none of your business, you nosy bitch."

"Fuck _you_, freak. You probably stole that baby to torture it, anyway!" Ino's face slips into a determined, superior sneer as she stretched out a hand to pull back the blanket and reveal the child to her eyes.

"Ino!" Sakura snaps. "You don't need to be so rude!"

"_Don't_," Naruto says softly, hissing malice, catching and _squeezing_ the outstretched wrist just before the blond girl touched the blanket enough to move it aside. "Or I'll kill you."

It's as much warning and threat as anything else he dares to show; Ino pulls her hand away and makes a face with a disgusted sound. "Don't touch mke, you retarded freak."

"That's a little excessive, Naruto," Sakura frowns, even as the others gathered there have apprehensive looks on their faces, especially after witnessing the blowout between Naruto and Sasuke.

"You'd better go, Ino," Shikamaru comments placidly. "I don't want to haul you to the hospital again." He sniffs. "You're too heavy."

N aruto is still staring dead-serious at the only other blond, blank face vaguely threatening. Ino huffs, her mind keen on how quickly Naruto had attacked her the last time she had visited, and finally crosses her arms. "Fine. Maybe I'll just walk Sasuke home. You guys can go screw yourselves with your stupid little party."

"He's not going anywhere," Naruto snaps. "Get out of my apartment!"

"Naruto!" Sakura scowls at him, "Don't be so rude!"

"Just go, Ino," Chouji murmurs. "He nearly cracked your skull last time, and like Shikamaru said, I don't want to see you in the hospital again."

"Did he really—?" Kiba whispers, almost laughing.

Ino mutters insults under her breath that get louder as she whirls towards the door; it slams shut with a violence that makes everyone flinch. Naruto twists his gaze to Sakura the moment the sound echoes through the space, and takes two, three breaths to calm his voice. "Sakura," he asks, tense and almost shaking with the need to move, the urge to push her back. "Sorry. You need to go."

"But—" her eyes are hurt as she meets his eyes and part of Naruto flails and winces at how upset she seems. Her expression shifts from disbelief and shock and hurt, her mouth opening to ask "Why?"

"I'm _sorry_," he repeats, fighting the _want_ to kill. "Please."

She straightens, frowning at him, unsure, glancing at the others behind Naruto and finally to Sasuke still curled up at the base of the wall. "Oh, fine!" she shakes a fist at Naruto. "But you owe me one, Uzumaki! Don't think I'll forget this—and you better not keep fighting with Sasuke, you got that?"

And then, with a final murmured question, a brief touch to Sasuke's shoulder, Naruto's back to where he was ten minutes ago. Sasuke, silent and unresponsive and a million questions waiting behind him, and he hadn't even gotten to the _good_ part yet.

Naruto glances at the tadpole, lifts him to the shoulder without unwrapping him from the blanket and pats at his back. He's shaking, white-pale and horrified to feel this close to tears in front of the rest.

"What the hell was that?" Shikamaru's face is set and almost cold. "That chakra—"

"I _knew _I wasn't seeing things!" Kiba mutters.

"Wait—am I to believe that the source of that unnatural chakra is you?"

"Yes," Naruto's reply is simple, hearing a wet sticky-sound burp against his shoulder, cutting off the rest of the discussion. Naruto doesn't feel the itching _rejection_ that Ino and Sakura had invoked. "But...can you guys wait a little longer?"

_Just long enough to calm down, to maybe figure out how to tell you the rest—_and, as Naruto wipes the excess formula from a tiny face, clueless to the way he's avoiding their eyes now, the way his eyes flicker and stray back to Sasuke.

Sasuke, who's been silent or drop-kicked into shock maybe, waiting by the door and hiding behind bruised arms.

There's a quiet discussion going on around him, but Naruto doesn't listen. The bruises bother him more than anything, and with the child fed and quiet and kicking blankets, Naruto is swallowed by the urge to reclaim the dark boy.

Leaving the tadpole on the couch with a terse "Don't touch!" to the rest, Naruto goes to the only cupboard that still has a door and digs through the contents until he finds the small jar marked with neat kanji.

Then, with a glance to make sure no one's gotten too close, hearing and dismissing the smalltalk, ignoring the watchful eyes, he plops down in front of Sasuke.

"Stupid bastard," Naruto mutters, snagging a wrist and pulling it close.

Sasuke's immediate reaction is to jerk and pull against Naruto's hand with a hiss, not that it gets him very far; Naruto refuses to let go.

"_Don't_," Sasuke growls, yanking uselessly, uncurling enough to start pushing at his hands and arms when Naruto slathers salve from fingers to elbow.

"Oh shut up," Naruto shakes the wrist in his hand. "How are we going to kick your brother's ass if you can't even train without dying?"

Even behind the damp shield of his hair, Naruto can see Sasuke's flinch, his expression of bewildered fury, but he stops pulling away. Naruto takes it for the victory it might be, even if Sasuke's still wound up tighter than steel while Naruto spreads the healing salve onto each bruise or scrape he finds.

"..._why_?" Sasuke asks, finally _speaks_ in a voice too soft and broken for Naruto to know it's _Sasuke_, if he wasn't looking.

Naruto knows, too, that it's not a question about the salve, but everything else. Everything. Their stupid _thing._ His brother. The child and how that even happened—why and how but mostly _why—_

Flushed, snagging the other arm and its waiting bruises, Naruto offers up the only answer he can think of that will cover nearly everything.

"Because," he whispers, trying not to look Sasuke in the eye and failing, trying to shrug. There's a red-purple bruise high on Sasuke's pale-skin cheek and Naruto smears salve on that too, without even thinking about the fact that he's _touching Sasuke's face_. His mouth is too busy leaking secrets for Naruto to realize the implications.

"Because you're the strongest person I know," Naruto tells him. "...and I need you."

Sasuke's eyes flicker shut and Naruto fears that he's overstepped, somehow, that _those _words were the wrong ones even if they were true; but Naruto can't look away from Sasuke—he doesn't think he'll ever win at that game—and he watches the face pale and twist in Sasuke's internal struggle.

Naruto, in the back of his mind, wonders when he's stopped breathing in the wait for Sasuke's response.

And waits a little longer.

"…are you staying or _not_, Sasuke?" Naruto's exasperated, irritated mutter with blue eyes edged with something too foreign in his face for anyone to read—and Sasuke absurdly thinks _he's serious—he's said my name_—something just as odd and strange and meaningful—_because Naruto had—they'd—_

"...you _moron_," a shard of Sasuke's voice slips out, hands creeping across his face. Sasuke lowers his head and rips away his thoughts to keep panic at bay, one unstable suck of air before, suddenly, holding absolutely still because Naruto—

"Moron means yes!" Naruto exclaims, poking him on the shoulder with eyes too blue too bright and creasing, just-as-quick and unavoidably _smiling_ at him—_truly_ smile—such crystalline and unexpected shock for the way it makes him feel to see it—

_never smiled like that before—never ever seen it on his face, not for me, no one's ever—he's never **looked **__at me like that—_

Sasuke shudders, a sound caught in his middle as he tries to look away, unable to forget the sight of it, unable to—unable to _think_ anymore when it came to Naruto.

_Don't give me hope_, he wants to scream. _Don't break me like that._

But he can't, not with that smile burning through his thoughts like sunlight.

A.N. -

OMGlikeWTF? Yeah. It's been _years_. But I haven't given up! I had about 70% of this written for the last year, but the most important part was the last part, the transition part where it was...very very delicate. You have no idea how delicate.

And I did it! yay! (omg_years_wtf?) This is largely unbetaed, btw, so I appreciate any issues/holes/grammatical errors that you'll find. Also...i know I cut it off there, at the end, but i'm pushing forty-pages, and the resolution of Sasuke and the baby, the name, etc will be in the next chapter. as well as the rest of it. so far...one(two?) more chapters, and then an epilogue.

What, you didn't think I was going to call it tadpole forever, did you? XD


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